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And dying from decor depression, besides being annoyinly alliterative, is just stupid.

It sounds like a watching sport. Oh wait, the basilisk...Hmm. It's almost worth risking a peek. I like the way you think. ~____^

I would be honored to hold back your hair, and pick up the pieces should it be any of the three. Do you have long hair?

Hope it is Joren, the others don't even make sense were they to pair with Kel. Ugh.

Oooh. Possibly the most mystical item I've encountered.

*takes it up to the light and watches pretty flashes for awhile then happily stuffs in pocket*

Many thanks O wise one. I shall of course endeavor only in the name of the just means.

*bows*

Wow I never thought of it like that before. Amazing, it's such a nifty solution! I'd take that over losing an arm, a leg, and my most annoying sibling any day.

I haven't actually been reading any fics of Tortall so I'll take your word for it. Although it's a bit mindboggling. Tortall? Not that pure kingdom? Of admittedly good and bad but thusly balanced group? =(

Gotcher, I'll keep a sharp eye. XD Right, if there's so much as a whisper of a story you'll be the first one to know.

Speaking of great endings, that's brilliant!! I would love to see this mwah ha ha!! Bloodthirsty wench that I am. ^__^ Heh heh!

The dialogue of the Chamber would be an added plus. I wonder what it does to make said enemies ash...AND!! You're absolutely right, since it could see inside the mind of-

^^Because of that the death is bound to be quick. YAY!

Hang on a second.

*rummagerummagerummage*

Aha! Found it! Here, have an egg whisk. It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but spambots and author wraiths, too! Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride. ^_^

Oh god, who was she paired with? Joren? Please say it's Joren. Then at least it's understandable because the poor boy's a fanmagnet. (If it's Vinson, Quinden, or Garvey, I'm committing harakiri.)

Or, we can make it go to the Chamber of Ordeal, if that's even possible. In one of the books, it did say that anyone with suspicious intentions towards the Chamber were "reduced to ash", or something like that. Sues count as having suspicious intentions, on my scale. Or maybe the Chamber will want to inflict punishments on the Sues itself! That would be interesting to find out.
You don't belong here, it said. You are what humans call a "Mary Sue". You look beautiful on the outside, but have ugly intentions. As such, I condemn you to the Sue execution: Become frightfully ugly and have to look into a mirror.

The AU I'm speaking about quotes almost everything not related to the romance from the books. It's almost as if you have to have the books the fic is following with you so that you can read along. The pairing can be compared to a Draco/Hermione fic. It also describes one of my favorite heroines as having color-changing eyes. I just want to make sure that I can kill it before I fly into a rage and rant about it. The writing is pretty good, but the plot is awful. It ruins Protector of the Small, Tortall fans! Down with bad hate-love fanfics between enemies! I can't stand 'em.

I like LotR, but I don't know it well enough to really take down that fic. I might anyway. I would like to kill the Mary Sue in that Harry Potter one, though. How does Basilisk lunch sound, do you think?

It's more like I take the stuff off of Sues who no longer require the said item (aka dead Sues) or I sell a rich Sue's belongings. Then I tamper with the items. You'd be surprised at how effective this method of getting cool Raven Armory stuff is. (Selling the Sue's hair for wigs also fetches quite a bit.) It's not exactly legal, I know, but it makes me feel better about all the Sues swamping Tortall.
No tea, thank you. Although, if you do find a badfic in which Dom falls in love with an OC or a really bad (as in magical powers, weird hair coloring, color-changing eyes, or a generic go-to-convent-become-a-beautiful-lady plot) Replacement!Sue of Kel it would be greatly appreciated by one of my agents. She'd just loooove to beat up anyone who trys to take Dom, aside from Canon Kel, of course. Then she only acts surly. Just a thought.

Oic! That makes things more clear. Hmmm...so post it notes. Going to need.

Nice to meetcha! =D

Oh, whoops, I guess I must have put it in the wrong jar.
*fishes out of change jar and plops in appropriate bucket*

Heh heh, thanks for the gift, I'm going to definitely need it. ^_____^

I can see myself needing these amourous affection reducers guaranteed to help Agents. Oh hey, Aargh! Ahem, but thank you, it's probably something all newbs should have huh? I like it; definitely going to be a big help considering I fail at running away.

^______^

Any idea where I could get a machine gun for cheap? Or does that come with experience seeing as I a quick trigger finger?

Oh you have my sympathies. Oh for the love. At least they're short, I guess that's the good part.

The use of cutting and character rupturing is bad enough but there's simply no connection for The Ring of Artemis. It's all over the place, what glop.

*hugs* You sure gonna need it.

http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Anti-Lustin

The Kunais produce a limited amount of the substance, meaning that if you are chased by Luxury, a horde of fangirls*, or a generic stalker, you have at least some defence. It doesn't work on Sues, however.

*Though a machine gun would be better in that situation, thankfully, I have one.

We welcome them! Hi, Li, and welcome to the Board. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't have any need of it here. Also, have one Internets. Enjoy.
-Mad Maudlin

The Search For Vanwaithilien
(They found her locked in the old trunk in the attic, but by then she was only a skeleton...)

try to get as many offenses as possible, generally. A long charge list is always a plus. Whether it be written on a notepad, or your partner's arm... >.>

Oh wooooow. My sparkly pretties. How they glint in the sunlight. Thanks so much kind sir! Or is that miss?

Right, well could you possibly explain the properties of this particular weapon? I've never heard of this Anti Lustin thing.

It may help.

I'm in the middle of prepping this one, http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2413177/1/ASquiresPain And then will be moving on to http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2536173/1/TheRingof_Artemis . Which is Tamora Pierce/Tolkien crossover. And brings me pain.

I've yet to use it, but there have been wonderful stories of it. Just from the titles I can deduce it's Something To Do With the Uchihas; more specifically Itachi and Sasuke. Ooh, this being my first? Yum. I shall especially relish.

Tamora Pierce eh? Which one would that be? And actually I've knowledge of both. So. She must have a fixation with incest. Poor Sam and Dean. O__o

The manga Gravitation is already yaoi so...huh. Wondering how she'll ruin that.

Meow... Bleeprin... It is useful.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3491311/1/SongsoftheHeart
<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3243781/1/ASinCalledIncest">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3243781/1/ASinCalledIncest
<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5020961/1/ToNeverLoveAgain">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5020961/1/ToNeverLoveAgain
<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5055833/1/SharingansHeir">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5055833/1/Sharingans_Heir

*sigh*

I'm prepping one of her other stories (a hideous Tamora Pierce fic) for killiage right now... And rolling around avoiding prepping another one. All of her stuff needs to die. Slowly and painfully. You wouldn't happen to have any knowledge of the TV show Supernatural, would you? Or perhaps the Manga Gravitation?