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Ingenious deviousness!! lolz I gotta be careful around you folks.

My repertoire of essential assasin items is growing!! Muchos gracias!!

I don't mind teaming up with you for beta work. Hell, I'd be overjoyed to write the darn thing with ya. Anyway, this fic needs a complete overhaul but i'll settle for killage.

One question. Ain't Karoo the ducky?

Oh, and I've only been able to get past the Nefeltari Vivi arc with Sir Crocodile. Hope that's sufficient.

In short, so long as you don't have any other person in mind I'd be glad to offer my services in grammar etc. Oh, one thing. I don't usually have access to a computer and internet so this is a heads up.

Not really sure what fandom to patrol, I'm a casual fan of a number. Might go for wheel of time, but starwars, starcraft, and warcraft before WoW are also likely options. If I ever get around to getting the Sword of the Stars books, I might also do that one.

Well, one internet penname was the theory, but due to playing MMOs i've managed to wind up with Incroym as a second penname and a completely different IRC name.

Yo! Wow, you did the right way of things, kudos. Veeery nice. What fandom would you patrol for then?

Hmm? Your grammar seems impeccable, so far so good. Heh heh, here I speak like an old member, I'm new myself. Nice to meetcha.

One. Internet. Penname..? Wow such restraint! I applaud you good sir/ma'am/what have you! Amazing. O____o

Oh hey, around here we give out free stuffs so here ya go! Lychee, aka most heavenly fruit on earth.

Hope to see you around!!

I've been reading the wiki for a month or so, and have finally decided to join the board. I'm thinking i might eventually do a PPC, but first I need to improve my grammar.

I'd say there is a long story behind the name, but the truth is that I was feeling unimaginative and silly when I first registered for a forum. Ever since I have tried to keep to one Internet pen name.

That is to say, exorcise her out of him, and then kill her. Painfully. With fire.

He seems to have lost his collar somewhere along the way to being dragged into a LotR/Tammy Pierce xover. That's why I'm asking here, to see if anyone knows him. *sigh* Ah, well, I suppose I'll just have to wait and see if anyone steps forward to claim him. He really is such a sweetheart, it would be a shame if his owner didn't come forward...

Capillary Towels are one of the funny PPC devices we've created over time - in this case, Trojie and I came up with it. They have in-built plotholes to soak up blood to help with quick cleanups after assassinations. It has an article on the PPC Wiki.

But I suppose it could be fluffy, yes. :)

So, this requires some explanation. We've all seen fics where the Sue pops in, tells the male character she can tell he's gay even though he didn't know himself, and convinces him it's all okay to go bang his friend. I've found one of these, but with a difference. The Sue in this case claims to be the "soul" of one of the main male characters. Since he manages to hold conversations with her, this kinda defeats the purpose of what a soul is unless you're writing fic for Philip Pullman's works (this fic is not), and basically she's the result of the author's brain working on painfully heteronormative lines because the claim in the fic is that since he has a girl soul that makes him gay and it all just gets hideously confusing.

Question is, should we kill her, or just exorcise her? Personally I think she's a Sue impersonating the character because souls do not work that way in this fandom, and therefore she needs killing, but I thought I should ask.

Oh, and I found a new drink for the Agents to get hooked on: http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/unicorn-chaser.html

I'm not expecting encyclopedic knowledge of the series; just a general idea of who's who is pretty much it. And whatever you're best at, in terms of betaing.


As for the fic...

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5062173/1/pleasejustsaysorry

And that address alone should give a decent idea of the level of the writing in it.

Oooh. He looks fearsome. I like. Ahem, um any papers or qualities or collar perhaps even?

One Piece the pirate manga featuring Luffy Rubber Man and Co? How extensive does this knowledge have to be? And what kinds of things are you expecting a beta be able to do?

Also, could you link the badfic?

I hope you know that I'll be taking both. And the squirt gun doesn't need Anti-Lustin refills you say?

Marvelous!

A towel!! One of those foofy, luxurious, hotel towels I hope? ^_____^ Thanks for the gift, for that I forgive your jab at my paunch.

Heh heh, here I was thinking you guys only have Sumarie victims.

Does anyone here know to whom the Mini-Balrog Darklord belongs? Because my Agent(s) just found him wandering about their latest mission, and he looks unhappy...

I'm looking for betas of any sort for my most recent mission. Knowledge of the anime/manga One Piece is a bonus but not really required.

If you'd like to help me out, drop me a wire at novakrazny@gmail.com.

I think part of my brain just exploded. And I'm not talking about the good kind of brain exploding that involves candy whenever I see a very fluffy kitten.

Heh heh heh, herro. It's a pleasure to meetcha! Thanks for the gifts, I've been needing a new pet rock. And all shiny objects are lustfully appreciated. If that makes cents. O_o

I've been adjusting rather well. At least, I believe I have.

...Have an Anti-Lustin squirt gun, instead. It produces its own supply of Anti-Lustin, so you don't need to worry about reloading.

Welcome to the PPC. Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

Seeing as other peoples have given you much advice, I shall simply add my greetings to theirs and be glad of your presence. ^_^

Here's some nonsensical pairings, anyway, since you asked. The Ironic Overpower hates us all.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4401411/1/AMatterofHonour

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3793910/1/Fate

<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1262772/1/CavallsHeart">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1262772/1/Cavalls_Heart

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2165496/1/YOU

It's our poor blonde pretty boy she's paired with. But that story has seriously pissed me off. I'm going to kill it as soon as I get around to my first few missions. It's a long story, so I need a few simpler ones first. Here's the link:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4648148/1/TheOnlyVolunteer

Some of the more notable quotes from it are:

- "Kel had lost control of her calm mask, and Joren found the show of emotion on her face very intriguing. He had discovered during their study times together that Kel's eyes became more green than brown when she was angry or excited. Right now there was only a thin ring of brown around the outer edges of her irises. Joren smiled widely, which only seemed to irritate Kel more and he watched as her eyes seemed to come to life with her anger."

(This made me want to vomit.)
- "As the 'best man'," Sir Paxton explained, "I am here to support Merovec and keep him calm, represent my father and vouch for Nond House's support of this marriage, sign the official documents, and certify that the marriage had been consummated. After that, the real festivities may begin."

Joren digested that last bit of information, "So you ... you have to watch them? And the feast has to wait until ... after?"

"Goddess, no!" Paxton laughed. "That was necessary back in the ancient days, when we had to steal our brides from their often disapproving families, but it's no longer required in these modern times. Thank all the gods that the only thing I must do is wait outside the bridal chamber. Mero will hand me the sheet afterward."

"The sheet?" Joren asked, feeling completely ignorant about the whole affair.

Paxton laughed some more. "Surely you know how ... certain things are done. The common folk are much less concerned about all this, but we nobles still like to verify that the bride was in fact a virgin at the time of the marriage. There will, of course be ... evidence."

Joren turned red with embarrassment. "I had no idea it would be like this."

"My father told me that when he married my mother, there was a Mithran priest behind a curtain in the room with them the entire time." Paxton shook his head at the memory. "Back then, he explained to me, the Daughters of the Goddess and their priestess would parade around with the blood-stained sheet and perform a little fertility dance before the feast could begin. Nowadays, all I have to do is show the sheet to the priest and then the young ladies will have their 'Maidens' Dance' to announce the happy occasion. It's much less embarrassing for everyone."


(This one is very lulz-worthy, "written" by "Joren".)
-"I was the only volunteer
To show you the palace ways;
You were the only volunteer
To help me write my essays.
When I saw you dressed as a lady -
Like all the others on a summer day,
I knew I could fall in love with you,
If you'd only let me say:
"Volunteer to leave your knight training
And volunteer to learn a lady's ways."
Then I will be the only volunteer
To love you for all of your days."
(It's hysterical and nauseating at the same time!)

(I added this one below because, although it's a bit more canonical than Mood Ring Color Eyes!Sue above, it made the Agent Sive part of me Bloodwrathy. Dom dueled with Joren

-----Spoiler Alert-----

in the fic to avenge what that bastard had done to Kel when she was a Fourth Year page about to become a squire. And she forgives Joren for sabotaging her tests a few days after she finds out who was on trial because Vinson was supposedly the main plotter in this fic and just needed money. Joren also wanted Kel to give up and become a lady. WTF? No one in their right mind would forgive Joren for doing such a thing, no matter what back story.)
- "Two minutes later, Joren performed an intricate twist and sweeping arc which sent Dom's practice blade flying into the sand. Kel was shocked when Lerant laughed and told her to look at the bright side - she hadn't lost any money on their bet and she'd be able to sit back and watch Raoul get his own revenge on the blond squire. His comment disturbed Kel so much that she went to Raoul before they headed out to the makeshift jousting lanes."

- "Relief washed over Joren when he realized that he truly was in the Living Realms. He'd made it back to the chapel. He'd survived his Ordeal! Severe pain made him wince as he brought his hands up to his face and he pressed his bloodied palms against his eyes to hold in the tears. He heard someone order him to lie still while the healer used his Gift to heal two cracked ribs and a severely bruised collarbone. Joren would need stitches to close up two small, but deep gashes, and time would heal everything else."

For the sake of sanity, I'll leave out the ones about the one time Neal and Kel kiss, poor Cleon gets neglected (he needs a bunch of hugs after I fix this), and Roald practically admits that he has a huge crush on her. I might be more paranoid than everyone else about these sort of stories, but to me, these deem it kill-worthy. I'm very biased against most enemies-become-lovers plots. I prefer canonical pairings, thank you.

I love these towels. So useful.

Welcome to the PPC! Always good to see new victims faces. *innocent smile*