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It is, however, NSFW. Poor Ron...

*holds out a hands* I'll take it, gimme bleepka pleeze.

There is no way that I'll take this one. I couldn't even get past the first ten paragraphs. Someone else can have it, if they have a stronger stomach. I'll donate them some bleepka, though.

I love Daine's character, too, (who wouldn't want to talk to animals), but she is most definitely a Canon Sue. Powers, Past, Prettiness... *sigh* It was sort of awkward for me to read the romance parts in the third and fourth books, but now that I think of it, eleven years difference is nothing compared to ninety-one years difference, Twilight-wise. Look at how many teen girls dig that relationship.
Also, Wild Magic was the first book I read that was by Tamora Pierce, too.

It's got a nicely traditional air and improves the odds of getting lost in HQ.

Tamora Pierce does pull it off pretty well at the end of the book series, but during the first few books she does seem a little over the top, even though it's pulled off and balanced. Also, Tammy is a much better writer than most of the fanbrats we have to deal with. Yeah, the score was really high, but I have to agree with you. I'm certainly not going to panic over it, but I may poke fun at it in a parody or two.

A small, solid black sphere that enables a person to teleport anywhere, anytime they desire. It was in Stephen King's Dark Tower series.

In most Universal Litmus Tests, the pre-test instructions are not to panic if you get a really high score (at least, the ones I've seen, or the ones aimed at authors, not agents. Plus, that might be the fanfic bit you're using; Canon characters are different.), because in all honesty, if it's written correctly? Characters with higher scores can be interesting, thought-out, very human characters. It's all about personality, context, flaws. Alanna has all of these, and I think Tammy pulls it off perfectly, leaving you wondering at the end (if you've had experience with Suefics beforehand) how on -Earth- she just wrote a purple-eyed, red-haired, Goddess-chosen, magic-wielding Knight and somehow made her human, real, and completely drew you into the story, too. (I think one of my favorite things was how she turned down Queenship for George. Not Sueish. Sues would downright seduce Jon for that chance.)

She's got purple eyes and red hair, and she's chosen by the Goddess. Other than that?

Well, she has Knightly Skillz, yes, but remember how she worked her arse off in training, because girls are naturally weaker? It's not Sueish to have muscles after a hell-camp like that, it's realistic. Actually, it would be more Sueish to have her still be weak, or complaining about not being as strong as the guys.

She was chosen by the Goddess, I think, because she was the first woman knight in centuries. (I'm sure Tammy mentioned somewhere that there were lady knights, long ago in the past.)

Anyway, if you want to find a Canon Sue in that series, I'd point to Daine, love her though I do. She's a girl with a tragic past, (bastard-like birth [redeemed of course] AND orphaned by bandits, AND traumatized by her powerz, and awesome beyond-the-ken-of-man powers that she can't quite control, AND of course immediately liked by [almost] everyone (given this is Tortall, where generally the cast is pretty friendly), AND gets the Older Wiser Court Wizard to fall in love with her, AND has Brand New Speshul Magicks.) Canon Sue, much more strongly than any other character, I think. Everything always comes easily to her, with just the right amount of angst. But, as I said, I do love her, because Wild Magic was my first Tammy book. And because, what can I say? AMINALSSS.

Anger: fuming, blind rage, towering rage

Fear: petrified, frozen

Worry: a gnawing or nagging worry

Happiness: feeling chirpy

Will add more if I think of them :)

Yep, complete and utter theft, word-for-word - makes you wonder why she even bothered.

I'm a big fan of the series (though each to their own, of course :) ), and I definitely know it well enough to PPC it, aside from the little matter of producing a writing sample and requesting Permission, which I have yet to get round to. What's the procedure in cases of outright plagarism, though? Since there's not really enough of a story (at least, an original one) to PPC. Most of it belongs to either Stephenie Meyer or John Marsden; though I suppose you could snark at the awkward way that the two stories have been jammed together.

(No, the scene with the car slipping on ice just does not work in Wirrawee in the middle of summer, no matter how well it suits Forks in wintertime).

Yay, another fan! :D Shame you can't find the sequel; I reckon it's better than the first book. I guess it depends on where you are, though - it's pretty easy to find here in New Zealand, but I don't know about overseas.

*yanks book off shelf and flicks through to the right bit* Looks fine to me :) Oh, and it strikes me that this idea could lead to a whole new line of research in Magical Sue Bonds. Fun fun *rubs hands in glee*

Then again, the character in question is a stoner, so he probably sees things like this happening on a regular basis, the only difference being that this time it's on the outside of his own brain ...

I'm really appalingly behind on my PPC readings... Cheers.

I had them all once, when I was about twelve. Read them once and then never again, and I only remember pieces. Still, I remember enough.

What a colourless, forced combination of stories. All it's doing is repeating the existing things word-for-word. It's practically plagerism.

...Reading further, it IS plagerism. I may not have touched that book in ten years but I recognise the narrative. THEIF. Lazy, pathetic theif.

I don't remember enough details about TWtWB to PPC it - I never liked it at all, really - but I wait impatiently for someone who does. Such blatant piracy offends me.

BTW, will your Agents be based in a TARDIS or a Response Center?

Have a winged kitten, and watch out for giant glass jars.

Have a winged kitten!

shiny things are always appreciated.

Sanity placed in appropriate recepticle.

Please let me have it. PLEASE. I need this. Honestly.

Warhammer 40k+ real football (not American football) = "Goals for the Goal God, Trophies for the Trophy Throne". 40k with every major faction as football teams. Hilarity ensues.

Agent:

Brother-Goalie Pardus of the Goal Scorers Chapter. Veteran of many tournaments, his ship fell apart in the Eye of Terror on its way to the 13th Cadian Football Championship. He ended up in the PPC, the rest of the team...somewhere else, hopefully.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4896377/1/AVeryAlternateYuleBall

I'll be tied up with my (now-beta'd, thank Nurgle) Starjeffry missions for the foreseeable future, so I want to see if anyone will be willing to take on this rather atrocious sampling by a repeat badficcer.

It's essentially Hermione, though completely replaced, preaching to us (through Krum's autobiography) about female supremacy and how fanfic is better-written than canon. The author (who, despite said crazy feminism, seems to be male) is very vocal about blacklisting Deathly Hallows (which he's never read), and also boycotted movies 5 and 6 in his personal crusade for fanfiction against canon. He even made an online game about his views. Also, he has a fetish for Hermione in tracksuits.

Wishing whoever takes this luck,

Chliever

That depends? Does he think that she is his soul? Because if so, then just killing her might have... adverse effects on him. Perhaps Neuralysing him BEFORE you kill her, so that she's just some silly bint, now OMG MY SOUL!

Welcome to the PPC. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't have much need of it here. Also, have a shiny thing with a deadly curse on it which is shiny. Enjoy.
-Mad Maudlin