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The first scene in Celebrian (cut off where the smut starts; I ran that through it, too, but figured I probably shouldn't post it here):

Celebrian standed befoar teh goblin kin, hedz boweded. Her lawng silvah locks hided her faec. Silent tearz streameded down durtee checks.

Teh orcz haded nawt mistreateded her—woe ta n e orc hoo spoileded teh kin’s pleasuer-toy. But teh hem uv her travelin dress wuz wet adn muddied by teh lawng walk thru watah loggeded tunnelz. Her hehr wuz matteded adn her affecshun-appendixez werz muddied, bruiseded adn kut frum menny a tumble in teh dark. Noen uv dat mattered compared ta teh faet dat awayteded her at teh handz uv dis sow-cawleded kin.

"Whut iz dis?" sayed teh goblin kin. Teh lift uv him loin cloth cauzd by teh stiffenin uv him cock demonstrateded full well dat teh kweschun wuz moot.

"A elf-bitch, yur highness, bringed frum teh caev at teh top uv teh pass. We snatcheded her whiel her sleeped."

"wuz her alonze?" askeded teh Kin.

Him yellow, watery eyup gazeded at him captiev. Dowz eyup displayeded a hint uv fear uv elf-warriorz but faar moar dey gloweded wif lust. Elvez wud stawp at nofin ta reclaim a losed woman ta teh orcz. Az well dey shoodz, thot, teh kin contemplatin whut lied in stoar foar dis fien specimen uv elven womanhood. Breakin her ta him needz wud b exquisiet.

"noes, yur highness. But dey haz nawt pursueded awr yet. gardz iz posteded. We will nows if dey com."

Celebrian kud follow deir werdz, foar teh orcz werz a mixeded lot uv big Uruks adn liddill woodz-goblinz adn uzd teh Westron tun ta communicaet. Her hart kud nawt halp leap wif teh remindah dat her husband Elrond wud com in search uv her. adn noes foarce uv orcz kud stay her rescue. Her haded ownlee ta owtlass her captorz foar a liddill whiel.

Teh goblin strokeded teh stubble awn him chin wif a graet claweded hand. Him idly pikkeded teh nostril uv him large pig-noes adn twicheded him pig-earz sow dat teh tuftz uv hehr in teh earz twicheded. Tusk-teef protrueded upward frum him undah-slun jaw.

Him smileded. Him knowed whut her wuz finkin. adn him knowed dat valor or nawt, eet wud taek graet effort foar Elvez ta track dem thru teh maez uv tunnelz. Dey haded nawt idly bringed her thru watah-filleded tunnelz: trackin wuz near impussible.

Teh Elvez wud com, but nawt foar a lawng tyme. adn him wud likely b goen lawng befoar dey arriveded. But if nawt, well, sum pleasurez werz worth teh risk.

"Strip her," him sayed at lass.

Celebrian’s hedz jerkeded up. Her hehr falled awai frum her faec revealin violet eyup undah slivah eyebrowz, a fien small noes adn a tiniez, delicaet mouf.

Changed my mind.

“WE MUST GET THE WANK OUT OF THIS SODDING CONTRACEPTION!”

*Now* I will die of laughter.

...

*dies*

"The world of the shinigami was very cold except for the hot bits and also some bits that were alright and that was where Dark was because he was the new king of the shinigami."

"All the other sinigami bowed there heads off because they loved him so much in a nonsexy way except the women."

You don't get that kind of Lemony Narrator unless it's on purpose.

"Du’ark gotted up and made some toast."

*dies of laughter*

The Infernal Trio is waiting there.

He just turned 82. Party?

Party.

The Infernal Trio is waiting for you in their RC! (RC#20736 fot those who don't already know)

we don't celebrate Agents' birthdays; there are too many Agents, so we'd be doing nothing else, and many of them come from continua whose calendars don't match up with ours.

We do celebrate Boarders' birthdays, however, usually by giving them presents when they announce it as you should have been able to see from the recent birthdays we've had.

Krisprolls is going to love it. 'Nuff said.

then I realised that humanity as a whole doesn't deserve it. Bunch of morons with few exceptions.

... I make a hobby out of giving the benefit of the doubt.

Admittedly it's bitten me in the arse before, but it's kinda fun to come up with the alternate hypothesis :D

so I'm probably right.

He could have just been honestly mistaken, or misinformed himself, or maybe it changes according to region, or ... lots of things other than 'talking rubbish'

- Trojie (half-assed Trekker herself)

Shameless plug: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1072964/

I have Meat the Sixth and Seventh there. I'm going to reread Brisingr soon, see if there's potential for Meat the Eighth (I think there is).

Great. So I'm a Trekker then.

I can't understand a word of CSI: Miami sometimes when they speak Spanish.

Doubt there's anything that's not common sense, but common sense does seem to be lacking in this world, doesn't it?

This one leads to the first chapter:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4615680/1/LightandDarkTheAdventuresofDark_Yagami

Get the sporks!

Party?

While I haven't watched or read Death Note yet (so many priorities), this fanfic can still be detected as badfic, possibly a troll.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4615680/8/LightandDarkTheAdventuresofDark_Yagami

You may die of laughter. Don't blame me.

You made me imagine a PPC-ized ICHC. Also, an amendment: Someone must make a full-blown internet meme out of this.

during the entire movie. So that's good.

I thought Bones was most like the original. Guy had the same speech patern.

Didn't like that they let Sulu say his experience in man to man combat was fencing, and then they gave him a katana rather than an epee to battle the Romulan.