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Permission is granted. I look forward to seeing Chliever grumble about Medical sterilizing his plaugesword.

I've already said it, but HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

As a present, have an umbrella. Got it from the Rook Takes Pawnshop. Nice, sensible black, solid oak shaft, and there's a sword in the handle!

TD, did you see Cliever's permission request down this page?

Chliever, sorry.

This one's been up a few days, but what with RL/online filters, and it being flagged as explicit adult content, most of you may have missed it. Part one of Pads's birthday present to Trojie:


Ode to my Darling Trojieface

O! Trojieface, so full of grace
I think you are just smashing
And if you were to wear a suit
You'd also be quite dashing
I see you now, in my mind's eye
With silk shirt and green cravat
And in your hand a pocketwatch
And on your head a top hat
Of course, I'm sure you will agree
Done up in this attire
Dancing a jig all down the street
You'd set my heart afire
With passion! yes, for as you know
There is nothing quite like it
To stir the loins and speed the pulse
A girl in a gentleman's jacket
But Trojieface, O! face divine
This would not quite be right
For you are not a tranny
So cannot make this wondrous sight
So let us now hit rewind
And cogitate anew
Focus on other virtues
For I'm sure there's quite a few
By this point, my sweet darling
I'm sure you will have guessed
Of all poetic stylings
Lovemaking's not my best
Although it is quite fortunate
I know you will agree
So far I've avoided Rochester
And his rhymes of debauchery
Though for you, my dearest sweetheart
The apple of my eye
In honour of your birthday
I could give it a try -
My Trojieface, I go to her
Each day at midnight hour
For in her sticky sweet embrace
She holds me in her power
Her lips upon that sacred head
Her bosom bouncing free
Her silken thighs spread open
Her scent assailing me
This voluptuous temple
Stirs the wantonness within
Until I'm coated in her juices
And I revel in my sin
- Perhaps not, sweetest Trojie
For I am well aware
That you do not dig vaginas
With their fluids and their hair
It's cock you like, I know this well
Preferably in the plural
With you a chaste observer
Of sex that's intercrural
That rhyme was hard to find, you know
But it still has some truth
Though you're also fond of oral
Between two handsome youths
Your tastes go even further
Extend to sodomy
It's actually disturbing
Unless it's only fantasy
Either way, my darling
I hope you don't expect
For me to show my love for you
In that particular respect
For though I truly worship you
And think you are divine
If consummation happens
I will have to draw a line
At violating your bottom
With bottle, fruit or toy
If you want that kind of treatment
You can get it from a boy
Which leads me nicely on, I think
To the most salient of points
The chap that you call Jamie
He'd best not disappoint
For I am many miles away
And cannot worship freely
At the temple of my darling
And get all touchy-feely
And so I must entrust him
With this most important task
Of satisfying Trojieface
In lieu of me he must bask
In your glory and your splendour
In your wit, beauty and charm
To take his place in this regard
I'd give up my right arm
Moving on from the physical
O moon of my delight
I shall now devote unworthy words
To your vast intellectual might
Which also for the record
Is really rather sexy
But I have never wanked to it
So you don't need to worry
Or, at least, you didn't
Until I turned my thoughts to rhyme
And choosing words for your wisdom
Made my heart beat double-time
And so for now I leave you
O beloved Trojieface
And hie to my bedchamber
Your name on my body to trace
With fingers I like to imagine are yours
Though I can't say the same for the cock
Since it vibrates and is made of plastic
But my thoughts are now running amok
Down deep and perilous pathways
That end in illicit affairs
Which is why, my glorious poppet
No more of my soul shall I bare
At least not today, sweetest darling
Therefore I bid you adieu
And my Ode to you shall continue
On the morrow, entitled Part Two.

Happy birthday. Here's a tall ship.
I just posted my Agents' profiles on the wiki, can someone tell me how to get those fancy tables on the right of the pages?

There's always half-finished projects sitting around.

And I'll have to remember that.

Girls hitting puberty at eight is becoming more and more common. Boys too, I suspect.

(Which is on the 16th, but she's a day ahead. So two days of partying she gets.)

*nod*

Happy Birthday to that rock, rock, and slash lover.

Also, links to stories written last year set this year. It makes sense.

Bingely-bingely-beep! as written by Pads and Surprises by yours truly.

First person to drag Trojie out from under her rock gets a prize.*

*Prize not guaranteed.

Permission is granted.

One quibble about the writing sample - the lab is only clean once in a very blue moon.

Heh. That might be tricky.

In fairness, unless you're a pubescent girl it's not the sort of knowledge you're likely to come across. So I expect you can be let off for not knowing.

Hmm, OOC Draco. Been a long time since I've seen him. Curses, now I might have to go poking around the Uber-Pit looking for sporkable Draco fics.

...Although it does sound better than being an ass half.

Didn't know the age had gotten that low. Anyway, there's still the gratuitous Draco OOC.

Technically, it's actually three goodfic, but they're very closely related. I'll admit, I'm tooting my own horn here. They're not mine, but I have pitched the author ideas quite occasionally.

It's not every day you find notable Power Rangers fic. It's even rarer that you find GOOD Power Rangers fic. And it's a true gem of a fic that's a good Power Rangers DYSTOPIAN, SOCIAL COMMENTARY fic.

Now, I'll assume that none of you were under rocks during the '90s, and therefore know who the Rangers are. These fics are a good deal darker than the show, but not so much so that they change the premise. I don't know how he pulled it off, but he did.

The first is "A Future In Ruins" (http://www.rangerboard.com/showthread.php?t=92403). Taking place seven years after SPD (2005's season, set in the near future), the Rangers now occupy diplomatic positions in the Galactic Space Alliance. However, the GSA's president, Alan Lutler, is growing more insane and Draconian by the day, and at the same time, a union of thugs and terrorists called The Skull is bringing down democratic planets, paving the way for the United Worlds, led by the tyrannical Lord Braska, the brutal General Petrofski, and the shady Dark Venom. Are these things connected? Of course! What's good about this one is that the author, Darky, writes with complete seriousness, and somehow manages to make such reviled Ranger lore as Justin and the infamous Ninja Turtles crossover work in that seriousness.

Its prequel is "Prophecies of the Morphing Grid" (http://www.rangerboard.com/showthread.php?t=101503), set millions of years in the past, it explores the time when ancient characters like Zordon, Ninjor, and Auric were Rangers themselves, as well as the origins of Big Bad-to-end-all-Big Bads Dark Specter. Currently on hold while he writes...

"A Future in Recovery" (http://www.rangerboard.com/showthread.php?t=113113). After Lutler's defeat, his authoritarian policies are reactivated by a shadowy cabal of business leaders in response to terrorist attacks spearheaded by The Shredder, enemy of the Ninja Turtles, and three alien mystics comprising the diabolic Pentastar Federation. At the throttle of both sides is Mordecai, a monster who escaped from the future of the "Time Force" season. Along the way, the Rangers discover some shocking truths about SPD, Time Force, and some well-known conspiracy theories. Each villain represents a real social evil, such as greedy business practices, cults, dictatorship, and sleazy lawyering. So, essentially, the premise is that the people we wanted to be as a kid are beating up on the people we hate in real life. There's a lot more to it than that, but it's a satisfying idea. He provides a behind the scenes section to look up the conspiracy theories and aliens he uses. There's some "crossover-but-not-really" elements to this one; i say "but-not-really" because the justification is the same one used for the Ninja Turtles in the show: each party thought the other was fictional until they actually met.

Hope you enjoy it.

and a boat that floats in it...

Anything to relieve the pain. Of course, don't go overboard and post thirty different links, but particularly good recommendations are always welcome. :)

"I'll explain later."

Works every time.

You opened a new thread anyway, so you may as well post your goodfic while you're at it.

an universal answer to any question you don't want to delve into.

"It's complicated." Somehow, saying this makes it all simpler.

...can I recommend goodfic here? 'cause I've got one, and I just want to make sure beforehand.

Most hilarious, but terrifying!Pertwee made it ever so sinister. Or it did for me, anyway, but that might have something to do with having once been stalked through mirrors by him while on acid. Ahem.

The Hypno-Pertwee freaks me out too: http://community.livejournal.com/ihasatardis/1760790.html#cutid1