The PPC Posting Board - Latest posts

Mild description: Tall, currently blue hair, sporting hoodies over hoodies, and I look like the spitting image of a summer camp counselor. (They/them pronouns, by the by.)

I'm loving all the ships so far. Can't wait to read more!

Plus I speak german, so ha! I can issue orders to the troops! I think a little civil war is in order...

[Ring ring... Ring ring... Click]

Phobos: Twistey, if that's you calling to surrender-

Huinesoron: It's me.

P: Oh! What a nice surprise. And how is France today?

H: ...

P: hS? Is there a problem?

H: Is there a PROBLEM? You sank my navy!

P: Oh, yes, that-

H: We're supposed to be ALLIED and you sank my SHIPS!

P: Well, we couldn't risk Twistey getting hold of them. It actually happened in real history, you know, so-

H: Only after France SURRENDERED. We hadn't stopped fi- no, we hadn't even STARTED fighting yet!

P: Better safe than sorry, what?

H: What?!

Neshomeh [calling across the room]: Tell him to have a cup of tea.

P: Nesh says you should-

H: I heard. You don't want to KNOW what Kaitlyn says.

P: No sense crying over spilt milk, though, right?

N [calling across]: You spilt the milk?! But, but the tea--!

P: I'm sure we can all move past this-

H: You think you can just brush this off? Those ships could have turned the tide of-

P: Well, needs must, old chap. Was that all? Ta-ta then! [Click]

H: ...

H: I wonder if Twistey's interested in an alliance?

'Cuz I have to tell you, you do not want to go up against Phobos in Diplomacy. He's known as the Betraying Betrayer Who Betrays for good reason.

At least if we're both Britain, he can't do it to me this time. {= P

~Neshomeh, off to instate food rationing and very politely shout at America to please stop faffing about and get over here already, if it's not too inconvenient.

*cannonballs into thread and explodes in a cloud of loose leaf*

*superblack tea, of course*

{; P

~Neshomeh

Oh now, dearest Tomash, the wars have begun
And now canon marches on, to the beat of shipping's drum
Come think of ships and dress tha'sen in fine corsetry;
I'll take you to the Shipfest of High PPC

Oh Delta, love, oh Delta, now list ye what I say
My feet they are so tender, I may not march away.
And e'er since that mpreg fic, I'm with child by thee;
Not fitted for the Shipfest of High PPC

I'll buy for you a Granz, love, and on it you shall ride,
And all my delight shall be a-walking at your side.
We'll stop and read each romance, and thirst like we are dry,
And all of will lovers be, and marry by and by

And when we'll read the shipfics, I'll have for you a bed
And on there shall be roses, and the roses shall be red.
So when you lie with Granz and Thoth and make a pretty three,
You'll think of your fair Delta, in High PPC.

Oh, cursed be the ship wars, wherever they shall rise
And out of Board and Discord press many fen likewise;
They took my domme right from me, shipped her with Neshes three;
All storied in the cruel wars of High PPC.

My lusts I cannot value, nor kinks I do not fear
Now that my Delta's left me, I wander far and near,
And when my baby, it is born, and smiles upon my knee,
I'll tell it of the cruel wars of High PPC.
I'll tell it of the shipping wars of High PPC...

So am I tragically-doomed President Lebrun, or collaborationist Philippe Petain? Either way, you should address me by my most preeminent title, Co-Prince of Andorra.

...

So I kind of want to spin-off a meeting with the person playing the Bishop of Urgell, aka the other co-prince, but I don't want to step on your jackbooted toes (^_~) by using someone you've got plans for. Any suggestions for a couple, real or Shipfesty, that I can use?

hS

...which other WWII leader would I, the Board's resident fountain of terrible ideas and political incorrectness, even be?

Also, I found you a theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7uCENnIcas

-Twistey

I love it, I love this, it's just so in character and yet so absurd at the same time

...wait, is Cal drinking coffee? HERESY *readies Tea Cannons*

Sounds like fun - and I get to actually beat you in a war for once! (Hang on, you should be the USA then we could fight the Cold War against each other...)

No idea who my mysterious lover is - anyone got any idea who it should be?

Summary: A bunch of Boarder couples enter a virtual-reality WWII strategy game, each getting to experience life from the perspectives of a world leader at the time and his significant other. The results are surprising.

Ah, Paris. The city of love.

“Isn’t it beautiful, Kaitlyn?” gushed Huinesoron. “All the trees and the sky and there’s the Eiffel Tower, and…”

Kaitlyn was smiling too. “I’d really hate to see all of this get bombed.”

“Oh yeah… there’s that…” He exhaled. “Nesh and I declared war on Twistey and Willis earlier today, and that means we could actually be targeted in a bombing raid eventually.” hS became melancholy, taking everything in as if he would never see it again.

“Don’t feel too bad. It had to be done.”

“That’s the worst part. I just can’t believe what she’s been up to.”

“Playing by the script, it seems. Playing exactly by the script.”

------

It was a cold day in Moscow, but Snowblaze didn’t mind. She loved the weather here.

“How do I look in this gleaming white uniform?” she asked her lover, who I shall let the other Boarders choose, while studying herself in the mirror.

“Very dashing, Comrade Snowblaze.”

“Thank you, comrade.” Then they both burst out laughing.

“So, about the deal to split up Poland… d’ya think she’s going to betray you?”

“I know she’s going to betray me.” Snowblaze turned around. “We’ve had a rivalry going for a while.”

“But she’s the history freak. She knows Russia is too cold and too populous to be successfully invaded.”

“She’s a freak in general. She won’t stop.” She laughed. “I say that with affection.”

------

“I feel disgusting with this thing on my arm,” remarked Twistey to no one in particular.

“Then take it off,” replied Willis with a shrug.

“I can’t. Not while I’m working. I have to play along or else get overthrown by my own officers.”

“Suit yourself.”

Twistey leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. “If this were truly historically accurate, they wouldn’t let a woman lead Germany anyway. I’ve got to always remember that.”

There was a knock on the door. “Come in.”

An out-of-breath young soldier walked in. Twistey quickly tried to look serious and intimidating. “Yes? What is it?”

He handed her a letter across the desk. “Britain and France have declared war.”

“Thank you, you are dismissed.” As the soldier left, Twistey turned to Willis. “So it begins.”

“Do you think we’ll be able to beat France if it’s being run by, uh, what’s his face?”

“HWEEN-ay-SORE-on. And I don’t know. But we’ll definitely have to watch out for Great Britain, since Neshomeh and Phobos are in charge.”

“Nesh seems nice.”

“She’s always nice until I pull a stunt like this. So are half the oldbies. The other half just ignore it.”

“Hindsight 20/20.”

The door burst open. Once again, Twistey sat up in her chair and adopted a stern expression. She needed it, as now she was face to face with the chief of the SS, Heinrich Himmler.

“When are you going to implement the Final Solution?” he demanded. “I believe it’s time now to begin.”

Twistey paused. “It, ah, it will come… Where did I say that the Jews were the prob- I mean, what I was going to do with them?”

“In here.” He put a copy of Mein Kampf on top of the desk. “Perhaps you should read through it again, and recollect exactly what you came here to do.”

“Thank you. You are dismissed.”

Being published was what every Boarder dreamed of. And here she was, with a book she wrote. At least, she did in this virtual-reality world that Tomash, Thoth, and her friend Sigma from Newgrounds had coded as part of the move towards the creation of strategy games for the PPCers to enjoy. But the words sure didn’t sound like her, the way they were written. She wouldn't leave that many typos in a book. And the ideas presented in it were even worse.

That was the problem. The simulation, being focused on military tactics, started with the day that the war did. How Twistey had come to power was completely out of her control. And now she was going to look like a coward who couldn’t keep promises.

“Ohhhhhhh God. Remind me again why I did this,” she murmured to Willis.

“Why you convinced them to build the simulation, or why you kinda automatically flung yourself into this particular role?”

“The latter.”

He shrugged. “I dunno. Just like me when we play Axis and Allies. Someone has to.”

More are coming. Feel free to make spinoffs.

-Twistey

"Angst. Angst. Angst. Aaaaaaangst. Angst angst angst angst angst. Angstangstangstangstangstangstangstangstangst." Moons banged her head against the wall over and over again.

"Ey, what's Moons doing?" Iximaz asked. "Why's she off in the corner?"

"Oh," said Calliope, taking a sip of coffee she'd just ordered off the bar. "She's angsting. Pretty good at it too."

Iximaz frowned. "Hang on just a moment." She wandered over to the newbie. "Hey!"

Moons looked up sulkily. "What's it to you?"

The older writer narrowed her eyes. "You're... angsting, aren't you?"

"So what if I am? What if the gods have cursed me? What if there is a black doom upon me, an incredible grimness that hangs over my very soul?"

A slow smile crossed Ix's lips. "Don't talk to me about your very soul. I've been angsting before the very concept of blackness even occurred to you. My very being is so full of despair that you can't even comprehend it."

A silence fell over the two. Moons broke it.

"My very existence is anguish."

"Well, my soul is consumed by grim desires and inconceivable suffering."

"My pain is so great that mere mortals cannot even comprehend it."

"I'm so sad that I seem happy again because nobody can recognize the depths of it."

"I've written poems so black that nobody could read the paper they were printed on."

"Well, my poems are so black that they make people happy because they suck all the sadness in the room into themselves."

"Have you even contemplated the deep and dark nature of human soul?"

"I've come to deep realizations about the grim, black, superblackness of the soul that you will never understand."

"My suffering alone could create a new deity, such is its strength!"

"Corvus Corax once told me I was the angstiest human he'd ever met!"

The two stared at each other, breathless.

Ix sighed slowly, calming down. "So, want to be angstmates then?"

Moons gasped. "Can we be?"

"Only if you dye your hair..."

The newbie grinned. "Do you really think black is my natural color?"

Ix smiled. "I think I love you already..."

I have no real limits. Go wild.

The reason why we don't know each other is because I spend more time on Discord than on the Board, but I've been around for a few months, and I thought it was time to start trying for Permission. I did reply in e-mail, but I've also conferred with Calliope, my other beta, and I corrected the text based on the suggestions you two had made. Thanks again for your help!

Perhaps this was shoved down too fast by exiting stuff going on further up-thread and nobody even looks here? Maybe you did it wrong and everybody assumes that you don’t need a response here because somebody else already commented on the linked GDoc? (*checking* Nobody did.) Or they talked to you on the discord and I didn’t notice?

Formality: While presenting agent concepts for general discussion is okay, you shouldn’t link your GDoc when asking for beta readers. Since everybody who follows the link can read it, you published an un-betaed version of your permission request. We don’t do that because having your mistakes pointed out more privately is less embarrassing and some beta readers may be too polite to be totally honest when they know that everybody can see their comments. You should have omitted the link, waited for volunteers who usually would tell your their e-mail address, and then mailed the link to them.

You not knowing this, and me barely knowing who you are, may be indicators that you are not ready to ask for permission. (But then, I’m never on the discord and didn’t pay much attention to the Board lately, so other Permission Givers may easily recognize you.)

Anyway, next steps: You respond to the comments I left on the GDoc and tell me when you finished editing (preferably by mail, my address with more or less usual substitutions to ward off the spam bots can be found on my wiki user page); then I’ll read it again to catch new mistakes and what I may have missed on the first read.

HG

I would *so* do that if I was in this situation, I'm too much of a mom friend not to. And I honestly find being portrayed as the literal moon in general hilarious and amazing. I don't really know what to say, how does one review a shipfest story anyway?

Willis had slept in late today.

Twistey wasn't too concerned, this was something he did from time to time. What did concern her was the fact that he was still in bed after she'd gotten back from a leisurely breakfast and some chats with friends. Even with HQ's temporal weirdness, it had to have been a couple hours.

She sat on the edge of his bed and gently ruffled his bright red hair. "Morning, sleepyhead."

Willis responded with a muffled groan. "'M tired, Twistey. Didn't sleep well last night."

"Bad dream?"

"Think so. Don't even remember what it was. Somethin' that should've been silly, I think. All I remember's there were lots of weasels. Whatever happened, I doubt I got more'n a couple hours in."

Twistey stroked her boyfriend's hair. "I'm right here, Willis. You're safe, in your own bed, and there's no weasels in the RC." Kicking off her shoes, she slipped in to cuddle Willis. "Get some rest. I'll keep you safe."

It was then that the Ironic Overpower provided a BEEP!

Twistey was having none of her console's fuvg. "Console. Sleep is important. There comes a point at which your antics are no longer funny. If you don't let us sleep I'm rewiring you into a microwave. Understood?"

The console bipped in slightly terrified agreement.

"I'll get to you when we're both rested. Until then, no noise."

"Nice." Willis gave Twistey an affectionate nuzzle. "How'd you think of that?"

"Spend long enough in HQ and you're bound to hear that trick eventually. I think it was Jay who came up with it." Twistey wrapped her arms around Willis and smiled. "Let's get some rest. You need it."

Willis smiled back and reached over to turn out the light. "Yeah. With the workload here, I bet catching up on sleep'll do us both good."

"Love you, Willis." Twistey curled up against him, soaking in the warmth.

Willis tried to reply, but exhaustion overtook him before he could. Smiling softly, Twistey closed her eyes, snuggling up to him and letting her mind go blank. It took her a bit longer to drift off, her being less tired than him, but soon enough she, too, was sleeping peacefully.

Neither of them dreamed of weasels.

It's good, but I feel like if you wanted to stretch the transformation=sex metaphor, you should have had Ix fall asleep contentedly under the watch of the moons instead of feeling more energized. Nice story, though.

:P

1. Ava Sianstacia, D&D high elf, at your service ;)
   
   2. Floaters. My partner's Aelis.
   
   3. 115 years.
   
   4. 6'1, 160 pounds.
   
   5. *shrugs* I'm not picky.
   
   6. Int score 14 - you've got to be pretty clever to be a good wizard.
   
   7. 30D ;)
   
   8. Dagger, club, and a metric shpxton of spells.
   
   9. Does leaving a trail of broken hearts in my wake count? In all seriousness, though, there was that brief stint as a pirate...
   
   10. Hah, as if you don't already know the answer to that.
   
   11. Fantasized plenty of times, had them plenty of times.
   
   12. Shpx is hard to beat. It's just so versatile.
   
   13. Back when I was 65. I've got a strong stomach.
   
   14. FicPsych's still trying to figure out what's going on in my head.
   
   15. Oh, I'm fearless.
   
   16. Tried it a couple times. Not my thing. Don't mind it, though.
   
   17. One-upping people, I guess.
   
   18. {This response has been stricken from the record due to there being far too much innuendo in it, even for the Monitor.}
   
   19. A couple times.
   
   20. Nah, I'm good about making my appointments.
   
   21. Nope!
   
   22. Why would I be?
   
   23. First Jacques I found.
   
   24. ...this morning, but why do you need to know that?
   
   25. Yes, yes, and yes.
   
   26. Loved it!
   
   27. Nope, they're boring.
   
   28. Not really.
   
   29. {This response has been stricken from the record for containing even more innuendo than #18.}
   
   30. {This response has been...you know the drill. Suffice it to say that Ava attempted to seduce the interviewer, apparently just for the heck of it.}