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But really, I'd prefer Tamar of Georgia. Purely for the music. Have you heard her Industrial theme?

Also I would also propose Matthias Corvinus of Hungary for Iximaz. Hungary's ability to upgrade levied military units for free leads to some INSANE early rush potential. Beeline Swordsmen, become suzerain of some nearby City-states, FLOOD ENEMY WITH SWORDSMAN CARPET OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOM. This seems like a fit for the Iximaz Goodfic Hosepipe. =]

With parenthetical notes from Modern hS.

JULIETTE - *Catherine de Medici - spies - France (I have no idea why.)
ESHAKHAR - *Cleopatra - trade, military - Egypt (... also no idea why. Vaguely eastern?)
HIERONYMUS - Gandhi - religion, peace - India (He's old, he's peaceful)
KAITLYN - *Gorgo - Culture - Greece (Greece is cultural, which fits nicely. Also El Jheycom was always Greek-inspired.)
PHOBOS - Harald - Navy - Norway (Big beard. ^^)
PC - Monty - Luxuries, military - Aztec (Monty is a resource-hogging military type; Baron PC rules over the mines that supply our weapons.)
HUINESORON - Peter - faith - Russia (... he's got my hair? Best guess is I was aiming for science + expansion.)
LARF - Teddy - Military - America (Because Teddy is funny. ^^)
IXIMAZ - *Tomyris - military - Scythia (Ix is a terrifying warrior for Goodfic. Also something to do with horses?)
NESHOMEH - *Victoria - expansion - England
(I have no idea why.)

~

Okay, so now my current thoughts:

-Is Larf Australian? In my head he is, so must be John Curtin of Aus.
-I like Kaitlyn of Greece, and would love Kaitlyn of Phoenecia, but in the absence of GS, I think Wilhelmina of the Dutch would work well. She has a focus on culture and loyalty, as well as trade, which Kaitlyn is ideally suited for.
-Neshomeh has to be a writing-focussed leader. Victoria's museums actually fit pretty well; Jadwiga of Poland is another possibility.
-Phobos obviously needs to be big, burly, and bearded. ^_^ Harald is a bit rubbish on a single landmass, but Cyrus of Persia (trade), Robert of Scotland (happiness), or Gilgamesh (exploration) would be good. All are very warlike, too. (Barbarossa is a backup choice, but relies a bit too much on city states.)
-I still like Monty for PC, but Poundmaker for trade also looks good.
-If Kaitlyn is no longer Greece, Hieronymus has to be Pericles, owner of the only grey beard. He's also cultural, which goes well with HG.
-Juliette should be a science leader. Seondeok of Korea looks good for her.
-Cleopatra actually works well for Eshakhar, who is at the junction of multiple trade routes.
-Tomyris still looks good for Ix, or possibly Gitarja of Indonesia, who would work well on the coast (and Ix's largest settlement already has an Indonesian theme).
-For myself, Peter still looks decent. Baron Me has a bit of a religious bent, which fits well.
-Priestess Scapegrace obviously must be a religious leader. Jadwiga of Poland is a perfect fit.
-Tomash, like Juliette, should be a scientist... but through an interesting quirk, most of the science leaders are women. Failing that, Qin Shi Huang of China has a science boost, and gets in on the 'building wonderful things' side of Tomash.

hS

I stumbled across some real treasures this month while cleaning up my bookshelf, and I'm in the mood to talk books.

The baby's coming! The baby's cominnnnng!~

I had totally forgotten about those toads existing until now, thanks, Gall. >.>

Also, you realize this means come September when the Badfic Games start again, I'm definitely going to have to do Gall x Ilraen?

Mostly because I think making Nume and Derik interact will be fun, so might as well have their partners go together, too. ^^


[So an Andalite and a Viking (and a dragon) walk into a small room with a camera and a microphone...]

Gall: Hey, I know you! You were in the Hairball League!

Ilraen: *four eyes blink* The what?

Gall: Oh, come on. Dark corridor, bats, wholesome physical violence?

Ilraen: Oh! You are referring to the All-HQ Australian Indoor-Rules Quiddich League. Yes, I remember you now. You tackled me. I twisted a hoof, and if my tail-blade were not padded, I would likely have killed you.

Gall: *cackles* No, you missed me by a mile. That was hilarious. *sigh* Thor's mighty jockstrap, I miss Hairball. And just doing stuff without feeling like I'm going to pass out.

Ilraen: Yes... Pardon me, I do not wish to be rude, but... are you, er... is "carrying" a polite term?

Gall: Pfffhahaha! XD Fuzzy, you look like you've never seen a pregnant woman before!

Ilraen: Actually, no. Most of my friends who have children adopted them.

Gall: *snicker* Okay, well... yeah! I am. Very. Due next month.

Ilraen: Oh! Well, er, congratulations! I think.

Gall: Thanks! It's been great, but I want my body back now. Good thing there's chairs in here. *she sits down with a sigh*

Ilraen: *shrugs, moves to stand in front of the interviewer thing*


1. Ahh yes! Welcome to the interview! Please introduce yourself: name, species, continuum of origin?

Ilraen: Hello! I am Ilraen-Aronline-Fothergill, an Andalite from the Animorphs continuum.

Gall: Gall Knutson, perfect badass, How to Train Your Dragon. And this is Fellrazer.

Fellrazer: *snort*


2. So, what department are you in, and who is your partner?

Ilraen: Implausible Crossovers, with Agent Supernumerary. Although, lately, I have been spending more time helping new recruits.

Gall: I'm in Mary Sues; my partner is Derik, who is also the daddy. ^^

Fellrazer: *rumbles and nudges her hand*

Gall: Well, yeah, of course you, too.


3. Let’s start with the basic questions. How old are you?

Ilraen: My official ID gives the 12 years I have existed as my age, but biologically I am an adult.

Gall: ... That's weird. But eh, so's mine. I should be 27, I think, but me and Derik definitely lost a year or two in there somewhere, so it's probably more like 25. And Fellrazer's been with me since I was 11, so he's at least 14?


4. Height and weight?

Gall: 5'4" and I swear this kid is gonna be ten pounds. Uuuugh. So. Done.

Ilraen: ... Er. Normally, my height is 6'1", not counting the stalk-eyes. In human form, it is 5'8". I have never weighed myself in either.

Gall: Dude, you mean in disguise, or can you shape-shift?

[A long digression on the Andalite morphing technology was omitted for time.]

Gall: Cool! You gotta show me when this is over. I'll show you Fellrazer's real size, too. He's normally something like 60 feet from tip to tail, 6 feet at the withers, and 5,000 pounds. At least, that's what the wiki says.


5. Sexual orientation?

Both: Straight.

Ilraen: ... I think. I have only ever been attracted to two people, but they were, and are, both female.

Gall: *shrug* Okay, if you wanna get picky... Like, if Gremlin wasn't with Xerry and she ever wanted to kiss me, it's not like I'd hate the idea? Actually, that might have happened once, but we were both pretty drunk, so she might have just been passing out in my direction when I was sort of weaving in hers? Anyway, I'm just not into it. I love sweat and hair and muscles and d**ks.

Ilraen: *sweatdrop*


6. IQ?

Ilraen: I suppose my intelligence is above average among humans, but I suspect it must be below average for an Andalite. *sigh*

Gall: I've got something better than high IQ: low cunning. *grin*

Ilraen: You seem intelligent enough to me.

Gall: Yeah, that's how I get you. *grin*

Ilraen: ... What?

Gall: Exactly! Base, low, cunning.

Fellrazer: *trills*

Gall: You are the smartest dragon in the world. You learned to talk in disguise once! Remember that?

Fellrazer: *satisfied purr*


7. Bra size? / Boxers or briefs?

Ilraen: Not generally applicable, but morphing with clothing requires that it be tight-fitting. I can only do it with briefs.

Gall: Oh man, I really hope I get to keep my boobs after the baby. I don't think I even had a cup size before, but now? Look at 'em! It sucks cuz they're sore, but damn they look good.

Ilraen: ... For the record, in case any completely random person should happen to wonder, I am not looking at this human female's enlarged mammary organs.

Fellrazer: *rolls his eyes*


8. Let’s cut the boring questions. Firstly, how many weapons are currently on your person?

Ilraen: I always have my tail-blade. It is all I need.

Gall: Just a boot knife right now. Can't exactly belt on the ol' mace. But I have a fire-breathing dragon, so there's that, too!


9. Are you wanted for any crimes?

Ilraen: Of course not!

Gall: Pff, sissy. I haven't gotten into THAT much trouble here, but I might still be exiled from Berk for that BS with Kana? I mean, no one would remember it, but I was never un-exiled, and I DID lead a raid on the village, so that might be legit. Definitely never going back, anyway. I don't like what I've heard about how things are going back there with the new movie and all.

Fellrazer: *puts his chin on her knee and purrs*

Gall: *pets*


10. And the age-old ‘Are you a virgin?’

Gall: Are you serious? No! Duh! XD

Ilraen: ... Er. *blush* *untranslatable thought-blurt*

Fellrazer: *glance around* *melancholy sigh*


11. Do you ever fantasize about same-sex relations?

Gall: Nah. I'll admit I've had one or two weird dreams about Wonder Woman, though.

Ilraen: No.


12. Lovely. So, what is your favorite curse word?

Gall: I'm all about the creative and mildly blasphemous oaths. Pretty happy with the one I came up with earlier. ^^

Ilraen: I try not to curse. It is unseemly. And my partner curses enough for two.

Gall: Jeez, you are no fun at all, are you?

Fellrazer: *gives a random patch of floor a judgemental look and spits a small wad of fire at it, then pointedly looks away*


13. When was the last time you threw up?

Ilraen: I do not have a mouth, but unfortunately, my human disguise does. Some weeks ago, there was a mission that should have been sent to the Disturbing Acts of Violence Department, and... *shudder*

Gall: Guess who DIDN'T get morning sickness! :D Nah, but the smells, though. I can smell everything, which is kind of awesome, except when it's not. Like, anything remotely cabbagey, and it's barf-o-rama, which is why I've been avoiding the Cafeteria since last week. I swear they must have boiled a whole field of cabbages. Ugh, now I'm getting queasy just thinking about it. Next question, please!

Fellrazer: *sympathetic croak*


14. Have any mental illnesses?

Ilraen: Occasional bouts of depression and anxiety, but my friend Nurse Jenni says that is normal. Even visiting the Courtyard frequently is not the same as the outdoor lifestyle my species is adapted to, and our work is stressful, after all.

Gall: Does that mean I'm messed up if I frigging love it?

Ilraen: Er. Possibly?


15. What is your biggest phobia?

Ilraen: *bitterly* Falling down the stairs. I had a traumatic experience with them when I was new. Thankfully, I have managed to avoid the Escher rooms, likely because it would not be very funny if I found myself trapped inside one.

Gall: Dude, I am other people's phobias. *evil grin*

Fellrazer: *skeptical growl*

Gall: Oh, come on, that doesn't count.

Ilraen: What doesn't count?

Gall: ... *sigh* Okay, fine. You know those freaky toads that have their babies in holes in their backs? Those f***ing things are the grossest f***ing freaks of nature I've ever seen, and that's counting everything I've seen on missions and on party tables here. Things with slimy skin should not have holes in their skin with other things wiggling in there. Eugh. >.<


16. Do you crossdress often?

Ilraen: Not since Nume yelled at me for trying to wear a skirt in human morph in 2008.

Gall: *snort* You couldn't pay me to wear a skirt all the time. Not happening. I dress like a Viking. And occasionally other things, for s***s and giggles.


17. Have any addictions?

Gall: I have a terrible addiction to being this awesome. I can't stop!

Ilraen: I do not. No, before anyone asks, not even the human sense of taste. One does get used to it.

Fellrazer: *gets bored and curls up for a nap*


18. What is the closest you have ever been to dying? Or have you ever died?

Gall: Nope! Too awesome.

Ilraen: ... It was probably the time I got this scar on my chest. That, or... no, it was when Harry Potter accidentally hit me with Sectumsempra. *avoids looking at the camera*


19. Have the FicPsych nurses ever taken you away?

Ilraen: No. Apart from the very first time I was dropped off in FicPsych after my recruitment, I have always sought help willingly.

Gall: Like to see 'em try.


20. Are the FicPsych nurses after you?

Ilraen: No.

Gall: What did I just say? I will kick Elms' ass as many times as it takes for that nuthouse squirrel to understand I'm straight-up better than her.


21. Do you snore?

Gall: I definitely do now. I've woken myself up a few times. It sucks. Derik says I do normally, too, but he might just be messing with me. Did you know he talks in his sleep? Sometimes even tries to sing, which is pretty funny, because it's awful. ^^ He doesn't believe me. I gotta record him sometime.

Ilraen: I do not know if that is physically possible for Andalites. No one has complained.

Fellrazer: *snores*


22. Are you drooling right now?

Ilraen: I do not have a mouth right now.

Gall: Nope! *turns to Ilraen* Hang on, you guys eat with your feet, right? Can you drool with your feet?

Ilraen: No! No more than I can throw up with my feet, though right now I almost feel like I could. >.<

Fellrazer: *dribbles flammable goo onto the floor*


23. Let’s say that HQ was about to explode, and you could save one other person in here. Who would you choose?

Both: *have to think about it.

Gall: So, first of all, Fellrazer and me are a package deal, so if there's saving to be done, we're doing it together. Got it? Okay. For the next few weeks? Aiden Nil. Because I'm pretty sure Gremlin would kill me if I saved her and not him or Xerry. After that, though, obvious answer is obvious. *rubs her baby-belly*

Ilraen: I... I can't. I won't. Next question!


24. When was the last time you used the toilet?

Both: *blink*

Gall: *bursts out laughing* Only like every five frigging minutes, dude, including right before I came in here. Actually, are we almost done? Now that you mention it, I gotta go again. Dang sprog is kicking me in the bladder. :/

Ilraen: Oh, dear. ... Technically, I do not use the toilet, per se, unless I really have no other hygienic option. It is exceedingly awkward to achieve the correct angle.


25. Have you ever kissed a girl? / a boy? / another species??

Gall: Maybe if that thing with Gremlin counts, hell yes, and not that I know of.

Ilraen: Not as such, no, and no.

Gall: What do you mean, "not as such"?

Ilraen: I assume they mean with a mouth.

Gall: Oh. Right. ... Well, how do you do it not with a mouth?

Ilraen: *blushing furiously* Andalites touch palm to cheek.

Gall: *snort* That's disgustingly precious. So you've done that, with a girl Andalite, then. *grin*

Ilraen: ...

Gall: *snerk* ... *leer* Hey, wanna change your answers? As such or otherwise?

Ilraen: But—you—what about—I mean, no! No! *scandalized*

Gall: *laughs, but abruptly stops, looking uncomfortable* Son of a Gronckle, I think I peed a little there. This better end soon.


26. Did you like it?

Ilraen: No comment. *warily watching Gall*

Gall: Yes, moving on now please.


27. The little voices in your head. Do you talk to them?

Ilraen: That is a complex question for someone who primarily converses in thought-speech...

Gall: Only when they tell me to burn things let's go.


28. Were you made fun of in school? Why?

Gall: No I made fun of other people hurry up.

Ilraen: I never attended school.


29. I can’t think of a question to ask you. Have any comments?

Gall: Kthxbye! C'mon, Fellrazer!

Fellrazer: *snorts awake, scrambles after her out the door*

Ilraen: ... This was strange.


30. This interview has ended? Are you gleeful? Or would you like to complete our 100 question survey over thumbtacks?

Ilraen: No. Goodbye.

1. Ahh yes! Welcome to the interview! Please introduce yourself: name, species, continuum of origin?
   
   I’m Chelsea, and I’m an Inkling from the Splatoon series!
   
   2. So, what department are you in, and who is your partner?
   
   I’m in the Department of Mary Sues and Lemon’s my partner.
   
   3. Let’s start with the basic questions. How old are you?
   
   Fifteen years old.
   
   4. Height and weight?
   
   I haven’t really been checking my height but I’m definitely taller than Lemon by about— oh. [Chelsea stands up.] Let’s say Lemon would come up to about here. [She points below her neck, then sits back down.] As for weight? I don’t know and I don’t really care all that much.
   
   5. Sexual orientation?
   
   Probably straight.
   
   6. IQ?
   
   Eh… Never really cared for IQ tests.
   
   7. Bra size? / Boxers or briefs?
   
   Um… an A cup, I think.
   
   8. Let’s cut the boring questions. Firstly, how many weapons are currently on your person?
   
   Well, I got my newest edition of the Splattershot, my Burst Bombs, and my Splashdown special. And I also got my Splatterscope with all its other stuff too.
   
   9. Are you wanted for any crimes?
   
   Um, nope!
   
   10. And the age-old ‘Are you a virgin?’
   
   Yes…?
   
   11. Do you ever fantasize about same-sex relations?
   
   Maybe?
   
   12. Lovely. So, what is your favorite curse word?
   
   Oh I dunno, I can’t decide. Though, I like saying “onffubyr” sometimes.
   
   13. When was the last time you threw up?
   
   I think it was when I rode on a roller coaster and threw up the chocolate sundae I ate when I got off.
   
   14. Have any mental illnesses?
   
   No?
   
   15. What is your biggest phobia?
   
   My biggest phobia? Um, I guess it’d be having to stay in a room forever? Though maybe it’s not really a phobia, it’s all I could think of.
   
   16. Do you crossdress often?
   
   Nah, it’s not really my thing.
   
   17. Have any addictions?
   
   Well, I really love chips, especially salt and vinegar chips.
   
   18. What is the closest you have ever been to dying? Or have you ever died?
   
   I’ve done Turf Wars, Ranked Battles, and Salmon Run shifts, so I’ve died at least once. That’s why I’m glad there’s respawn tech at home! At my home continuum, I mean.
   
   19. Have the FicPsych nurses ever taken you away?
   
   Nope. Hope they never do. I don’t think I could handle having to stay in something like a hospital for a long time.
   
   20. Are the FicPsych nurses after you?
   
   I don’t think so and I’m glad they aren’t.
   
   21. Do you snore?
   
   My friend back at home said I snored. I guess I still do?
   
   22. Are you drooling right now?
   
   Huh? What? [Chelsea wipes the corners of her mouth with her thumb.] Doesn’t look like it!
   
   23. Let’s say that HQ was about to explode, and you could save one other person in here. Who would you choose?
   
   I’d save Lemon. I don’t really know anyone else that well, honestly.
   
   24. When was the last time you used the toilet?
   
   Before I left my RC for this interview!
   
   25. Have you ever kissed a girl? / a boy? / another species??
   
   Uhhhh… nope!
   
   26. Did you like it?
   
   That I didn’t kiss anyone? Eh… kind of.
   
   27. The little voices in your head. Do you talk to them?
   
   Voices? What?
   
   28. Were you made fun of in school? Why?
   
   Honestly? I haven’t really been made fun of at school. If you were asking about anywhere else, sometimes I had a teammate at Turf Wars make fun of me for really dumb mistakes, like the time I tried to jump over a gap and fell in the water instead.
   
   29. I can’t think of a question to ask you. Have any comments?
   
   It’s been fun! Interesting questions too.
   
   30. This interview has ended? Are you gleeful? Or would you like to complete our 100 question survey over thumbtacks?
   
   No thanks. See ya!
   
   [Chelsea powerwalks out the room.]
   
   ________
   
   ((I'll do Lemon's interview answers later.))
   

((Changing up the formatting for this to make it a bit easier on the eyes.))

- - -

1. Ahh yes! Welcome to the interview! Please introduce yourself: name, species, continuum of origin?

Alex: Technician Alex Dives, human, from World One.

Olivine: Olivine! I'm a Peridot Gem, from Steven Universe!

Farilan: Farilan-Haothil-Esthine, and if you really must ask my species and continuum, I shall have to ask you in turn if you need to have your IQ tested.

2. So, what department are you in, and who is your partner?

O: We're all in DoSAT.

A: No partners, but some people are unlucky enough to be stuck with interns.

F: And some people are unlucky enough to be stuck with uppity supervising technicians who don't know nearly as much as they think they do.

3. Let’s start with the basic questions. How old are you?

A: I just turned 19!

O: Ooh, gosh, I dunno. A few thousand years, at least.

F: Twenty-seven. Nearly a decade older than Technician Dives, for the record.

4. Height and weight?

A: Six-four. I think I've finally stopped growing. Oh, and a hundred and fifty pounds.

F: Do I have to give it in human units?

A: Yes.

F: Fine. Five and a half feet tall, stalk-eyes included. Approximately two hundred of your Earth pounds.

O: They're everyone's pounds, Farilan.

F: *sniffs*

O: I'm five foot, seven and a half—

A: You can't include your limb enhancers with that!

O: Ffffine. Five feet, and a hundred pounds.

5. Sexual orientation?

O: I'm a rock.

A: ...I think I'm straight? I've never really wondered about it... I know I like girls, anyway. Some girls.

F: You're supposed to like females. You're male.

O: ...You wanna tell her, or should I?

6. IQ?

F: Too high for you to calculate.

O: Someone's feeling smug today.

F: Intellectually superior. There's a difference.

A: ...I mean, I tested at 155...

O: We could've guessed you were a genius, Squishy, you started working on TARDISes and stuff when you were fifteen. That's not normal.

7. Bra size? / Boxers or briefs?

F: What are those?

O: Again: I'm a rock.

A: Uh... boxer briefs?

8. Let’s cut the boring questions. Firstly, how many weapons are currently on your person?

O: Well, my arm enhancers also have built-in minuature blowtorches and a stun gun function.

A: Does my sonic screwdriver count as a weapon?

F: I am not in possession of any manufactured weapons, but I believe my tail-blade is sufficient for defense.

9. Are you wanted for any crimes?

All: No.

10. And the age-old ‘Are you a virgin?’

A: Yeeeees?

O: I. Am. A. Rock. Wait, do fusions count?

F: No.

O: Oh, please, like you've ever bothered to learn about Gem culture. But for the record, once again: I am a rock. What about you, Farilan?

F: Don't you think that's a bit intrusive?

A: *muttering* Who'd want to sleep with her?

O: Besides Ilraen?

F: One more word out of you and you'll be spending the next month poofed in your gem.

O: Moving on!

11. Do you ever fantasize about same-sex relations?

O: I am a—

F: If you say you're a rock one more time—

A: Anyway, moving on!

12. Lovely. So, what is your favorite curse word?

F: Don't be so crass.

A: My sister taught me this really fun Gallifreyan one, but... uh, I forget how to say it because it was like fourteen syllables. It basically means 'your timeline is wasted on your existence'.

O: Latin has some really creative swears...

13. When was the last time you threw up?

F: Allow me to say it before the Gem does: she is a rock.

O: And you don't have a mouth.

A: Unfortunately, I do. Meatloaf surprise last week in the Cafeteria. Not fun.

14. Have any mental illnesses?

A: Nah, I think my sister got all the crazy genes in the family.

F: I'd be willing to debate that.

A: Love you, too.

O: I can be a little neurotic at times, but I think I'm otherwise fine.

A: You spent half an hour rearranging the staples in your stapler to make sure they were in the right order.

O: Okay, maybe more than a little neurotic, but that doesn't prove anything.

15. What is your biggest phobia?

A: ...Losing my sister again. I know unless something really bad happens again, she's going to outlive me by thousands of years, but... I already lost her once and that was bad enough.

O: Squishy...

F: She's back now and takes pleasure in interrupting our work all the time, Technician Dives, get a hold of yourself.

A: Well, why don't you share with the class what your phobia is, then?

F: *sniffs* Phobias are an irrational response to something. I am not an irrational creature.

O: Yeah? I mean, I'm basically a living computer, but my programming doesn't prevent me from being terrified of being subsumed by canon and losing my individuality because Peridots are basically drudge technicians in Gem society and I'd be expected to just fall in line like the good little drone I am—

A: Next question please!

16. Do you crossdress often?

O: ...I'm genderless. How would I crossdress?

F: And I don't wear clothing. I'm starting to get the feeling these questions are mostly geared towards Technician Dives—

A: And I don't crossdress.

17. Have any addictions?

All: No.

18. What is the closest you have ever been to dying? Or have you ever died?

A: No, thank god.

F: I believe humans use the term 'ditto'.

A: Now look who's lowering herself to human behaviors.

F: It's called cross-cultural understanding. Perhaps you should research it sometime.

O: I've been poofed a few times, which I guess is sorta like dying.

19. Have the FicPsych nurses ever taken you away?

A: They took me in for an assessment after R...Ave ran away, but that's it.

O: Clean record here.

F: I'm the picture of mental health.

A: *coughs*

F: Is that supposed to mean something?

20. Are the FicPsych nurses after you?

A: ...Didn't we answer that with the last question?

F: I'm beginning to think this interview isn't being conducted in good faith.

21. Do you snore?

O: I am—

F: *tail twitches*

A: —a rock. I don't snore, either.

22. Are you drooling right now?

F: These are very human-centric questions.

O: Much as I hate to say it, she's right.

A: ...And I'm not drooling. They're human-centric, but just... weird.

23. Let’s say that HQ was about to explode, and you could save one other person in here. Who would you choose?

A: Zeke. I know Ave and Zeb will take care of Elanor.

O: Charlotte. No offense to her, because I love her dearly, but she could probably die tripping over her own shoelaces if Ix wasn't there to protect her.

F: Nobody.

A: Really? Nobody? Not even—?

F: Not even Ilraen, no!

A: I didn't say Ilraen, you did.~

F: Harumph.

24. When was the last time you used the toilet?

A&F: You're a rock.

O: I am a rock!

25. Have you ever kissed a girl? / a boy? / another species??

A: I kissed Katie once, at the New Year's party.

O: Wait, you did?! Squishy, why didn't you tell us?

F: Perhaps because he knew such personal details are irrelevant to work and completely uninteresting.

26. Did you like it?

A: *blushes*

O: SQUISHY HAS A GIRLFRIEND! SQUISHY HAS A—

F: Would you please SHUT UP?!

27. The little voices in your head. Do you talk to them?

F: I am the voices in your head.

A: Well, you're not wrong there.

O: Why did the voices have to be so shrill?

28. Were you made fun of in school? Why?

A: Not as much as my sister, since she kind of looked out for me and made sure people didn't give me a hard time. And once I got to high school, I was pretty popular.

F: You have schools that are high?

O: He means the later stages of education that aren't upper-level university. Anyway, the only Kindergarten I've been to is the one I was born in—

F: I thought Kindergarten was for learning, not... giving birth!

O: Remind me to give you a crash course on Gem culture sometime.

F: I shall. As for my answer, I was the top of my class, which naturally made me the most popular.

A: Is that actually a thing with Andalites, or just something you told yourself?

F: I'm confident in my superiority, Technician Dives, not delusional about how much people enjoy my company. I know you and Technician Olivine dislike me quite heartily and I have done nothing to encourage anything else. I'm here to do my job, not win a popularity contest.

A: ...

O: ...

F: Are we nearly done here?

29. I can’t think of a question to ask you. Have any comments?

F: This has been a pointless waste of time.

A: Yeah, I gotta agree with that.

O: Thirded.

30. This interview has ended? Are you gleeful? Or would you like to complete our 100 question survey over thumbtacks?

All: *get up and walk away*

- - -

((...So that was an interesting experiment. Learned a lot about Olivine and Farilan, that's for sure.))

Count me the frick in! I'll be posting my planned agents' responses later today once I've double checked the SPaG. Been a while since I've actually written anything, need to shake off the rust.

Okay, so with GS released and some interesting DLC out, I need to take a closer look at Civ 6 before the interesting stuff really starts kicking in. I will get back to you closer to the time.

"...that I do this, seeing as I got my partner to."

1.) Hi, I'm Sammy McLeod, human, *Gundam Build Fighters*.
2.) Floaters for now until I get more experience under my belt. Partner is Leonidas, a Space Marine Captain from Warhammer 40K.
3.) Well, time is a funny thing here, but I was around 14 when I ended up here. Been maybe a year or two since then?
4.) 5'7", around 125 pounds?
5.) I'm a bit young for that, don't you think? I...*think* I'm straight? I mean, I have no reason to think otherwise so far...
6.) No clue. I'm not the smartest, not the strongest either, but I do okay on pure luck most of the time.
7.) Boxers, always.
8.) None, as a matter of fact.
9.) Other than pirating old *Gundam* episodes, if that counts, that's a no.
10.) Again, don't you think I'm kinda young for that?
11.) Same answer, for *any* relations.
12.) Dunno. I don't play favorites.
13.) One time, when I came down with a stomach bug a couple years ago back home.
14.) Not that I'm aware of!
15.) Honestly? Not measuring up when things get tough. I'm surrounded by powerful personalities and individuals and I don't have much beyond a passion for building things.
16.) Nope. I love my bomber jacket too much.
18.) My home continuum was pretty peaceful. I lived a relatively normal life. I think that I'll probably come a lot closer to dying once I start doing field work here.
19.) Nah.
20.) Nah, again.
21.) Is this a trick question? How would I know if I'm asleep when it happens? Not like Leonidas has told me either way.
22.) No...?
23.) Leonidas would probably take care of himself. I'd just find someone who wouldn't make it out otherwise and grab 'em, I guess.
24.) This morning.
25.) [Suddenly quiet] ...no.
26.) I dunno. Kinda not really applicable if i haven't done it yet.
27.) Oh, yeah, all the time. Leo's not exactly one for idle conversation, so I kinda have to make my own, yeah?
28.) HOMESCHOOLED, SUCKERS! ...sorry, that was kinda loud.
29.) This was interesting! Let me know if you have any more questions...
30.) Okay, that's too many more questions.

I'm considering putting together a Civ 6 Plort AI run to go with the Civ 4 one. But... there are a whole host of leaders now, and only 10 Barons. I'm considering adding Protector Tomash and High Priestess Scapegrace to the mix, but even that only makes 12...

I have some of my own notes on which leaders could fit for which PPCers, but I'd like some other input! I don't currently have Gathering Storm (which is a shame, because Eleanor of Aquitaine has some pretty Neshomeh hair going on there, and Dido looks fantastic for Kaitlyn), but other than that I've got everything.

So... based on appearance, personality, traits, countries, or whatever, who do you think I should use for our 12 players? (Delta Juliette, Zingenmir, Hieronymus, Kaitlyn, Phobos, Neshomeh, PoorCynic, Larfen, Iximaz, Scapegrace, Tomash... and me.)

(In case it makes any difference, I figure on adding map-edge continents stuffed with city-states, if I can make it work. Having them share Konti-Nyuum with the PPC would be a bit messed up.)

hS

It's how he keeps himself sane when the world seems set on driving him up a wall. And, y'know, it's habitual. I'll do one for Sammy later.

We canon now baby! In their riveting first adventure, Agent Phil of the Department of Mary Sues has "graciously volunteered" his time to mentor the Autobot Vending Machine Spensor in proper Mary Sue disposal. They encounter a Sue in a Transformers Prime fic that claims divine heritage and has with her an entourage of angel sibling OCs that steal the spotlight from the giant transforming robots. Featuring references to obnoxious 90s pop culture, colour changing body parts and a special guest appearance from a demon named "Jim". All that and more inside this exciting first mission, available now at your nearest link below!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZzQV8UQafIip06aGCVLOY7e0qOjZbB6DMJN8vI9Jikg/edit?usp=sharing

All of yours have been entertaining, BTW. And yes, definitely do Farilan if you feel like it! Maybe with Alex and/or Olivine? Phobos and I recently got as far as Hulu would let us get in Steven Universe, so our Gem agents now make loads more sense to me, and would likely be entertaining for this. ^_^

~Neshomeh

Jenni would quite like to coo over Nic, who is an adorable babby. They might be non-corporeal cousins or something? If so, she would be happy to offer guidance on this whole physicality thing! However, she is confused and troubled by his impression of FicPsych, which is why we're doing this instead of jumping straight to an RP response. ^_^

~Neshomeh

1. Katarina Eagle, ymbryne, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children.
   2. Mary Sues, my brother.
   3. Twenty.
   4. I can never remember exactly. About average human size on both.
   5. No comment.
   6. I don't know, I don't really have time to take IQ tests.
   7. Um... C-something?
   8. None, I'm not an axe murderer.
   9. No.
   10. Oh, come on, was there ever an ymbryne who wasn't? *cough*phoenixmarysue*cough*
   11. No comment.
   12. I don't curse. Unless "by the birds" counts.
   13. See Edward's answer. Except I wasn't the one who missed the time-skip.
   14. No.
   15. I have a thing about snakes...
   16.I wear whatever I can find most of the time. Occasionally that's my brother's clothes.
   17. Strawberry Starbursts?
   18. The PPC very nearly killed me. I got lucky.
   19. No.
   20. No.
   21. No. Edward does, though. He also lies.
   22. ...no?
   23. I would create a time loop inside my RC and retreat in there with Edward.
   24. ???
   25. To be honest, no.
   26. See previous answer.
   27. What little voices?
   28. If Miss Avocet's ymbryne academy counts as a school, then yes. And the reason is so that a Sue could heroically save me from the bullies.
   29. No, no comment.
   30. I have better things to do with my life. Like categorise dryer lint.
   

But in a lot of cases that seems to have translated as Pink Type, not anything to do with, y'know, fairies.

So also kinda not.

hS

1. Ahh yes! Welcome to the interview! Please introduce yourself: name, species, continuum of origin?
   
   Elena: Name’s Elena, a human from the world of Pokémon.
   
   Valka: My name is Valka. I’m a Raven Laguz, and I came here from Tellius, from the Fire Emblem Series.
   
   2. So, what department are you in, and who is your partner?
   
   Elena: Bad Slash, partnered with raven girl by the name of Valka.
   
   Valka: I work in the Department of Bad Slash, partnered with Elena.
   
   3. Let’s start with the basic questions. How old are you?
   
   Elena: I think I’m still 20. Admittedly, time doesn’t make any more sense here than it did in the Glitch.
   
   Valka: I would prefer not to answer. I don’t want to give your readers the wrong impression of me.
   
   4. Height and weight?
   
   Elena: 177 cm and 65 kg.
   
   Valka: I think I’m 5’4” and 120 pounds? I’m not sure of the exact conversions.
   
   5. Sexual orientation?
   
   Elena: Straight, something my partner is a little unhappy about.
   
   Valka: I’m only interested in women.
   
   6. IQ?
   
   Elena: You’re a jerk for asking that.
   
   Valka: I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re asking.
   
   7. Bra size? / Boxers or briefs?
   
   Elena: 80C. Now, are we done with the personal questions?
   
   Valka: I never learned that. Clothing was always made to fit the wearer in my home world.
   
   8. Let’s cut the boring questions. Firstly, how many weapons are currently on your person?
   
   Elena: Do Pokémon count as weapons?
   
   Valka: We Laguz don’t use weapons. We take our animal forms to fight.
   
   9. Are you wanted for any crimes?
   
   Elena: This is relevant how?
   
   Valka: I most certainly am not!
   
   10. And the age-old ‘Are you a virgin?’
   
   Elena: I got stuck in the Glitch at age 12. What do you think?
   
   Valka: I am not. Although I have learned that some would say I am, given who I was with.
   
   11. Do you ever fantasize about same-sex relations?
   
   Elena: No, but I’m pretty sure I’ve been a certain someone else’s.
   
   Valka: I do. I would love to be with another woman.
   
   12. Lovely. So, what is your favorite curse word?
   
   Elena: If you haven’t noticed, cursing isn’t my style.
   
   Valka: [Translator malfunction]
   
   13. When was the last time you threw up?
   
   Elena: Training.
   
   Valka: I was in a badfic in training.
   
   14. Have any mental illnesses?
   
   Elena: Strangely no.
   
   Valka: I do not.
   
   15. What is your biggest phobia?
   
   Elena: I don’t have one.
   
   Valka: I’m always worried around assassins. I’ve seen what they do to other shapeshifters.
   
   16. Do you crossdress often?
   
   Elena: Only if you count wearing pants as crossdressing.
   
   Valka: I would never.
   
   17. Have any addictions?
   
   Elena: How would I get addicted to anything in a glitched out wasteland?
   
   Valka: I would never try anything that could be addictive.
   
   18. What is the closest you have ever been to dying? Or have you ever died?
   
   Elena: I can’t exactly say I was safe in the Glitch.
   
   Valka: My first attempt at a ship raid left me with several serious injuries. I made it back though.
   
   19. Have the FicPsych nurses ever taken you away?
   
   Elena: Not the FicPsych nurses.
   
   Valka: No, and I hope they never do.
   
   20. Are the FicPsych nurses after you?
   
   Elena: Medical handled it.
   
   Valka: I hope they aren’t.
   
   21. Do you snore?
   
   Elena: No.
   
   Valka: I don’t believe so.
   
   22. Are you drooling right now?
   
   Elena: Seriously, just look.
   
   Valka: Can’t you tell?
   
   23. Let’s say that HQ was about to explode, and you could save one other person in here. Who would you choose?
   
   Elena: Right now, the only one I’m close to is Valka.
   
   Valka: I would most definitely save my partner.
   
   24. When was the last time you used the toilet?
   
   Elena: [Silent glare]
   
   Valka: Why are you asking?
   
   25. Have you ever kissed a girl? / a boy? / another species??
   
   Elena: Remember how I was 12 when I entered a glitched out wasteland that didn’t have any unglitched people?
   
   Valka: I have kissed a woman.
   
   26. Did you like it?
   
   Elena: Are you actually listening to my responses?
   
   Valka: Yes. Our relationship didn’t work out though.
   
   27. The little voices in your head. Do you talk to them?
   
   Elena: I can understand glitch sounds, but they aren’t very enlightening.
   
   Valka: I don’t hear any voices. Should I?
   
   28. Were you made fun of in school? Why?
   
   Elena: Trainer’s leave meant that never happened.
   
   Valka: My home continuum doesn’t have schools.
   
   29. I can’t think of a question to ask you. Have any comments?
   
   Elena: You’re just reading a script, aren’t you?
   
   Valka: I think I should go.
   
   30. This interview has ended? Are you gleeful? Or would you like to complete our 100 question survey over thumbtacks?
   
   Elena: You’re reading a script.
   
   Valka: [Already left]
   

Well, maybe not half. The rest is Phobos, other friends, public radio, clips of late night comedy news shows, and articles linked from SPLC newsletters.

Anyway... the idea of this still just confuses me more than anything else, but I think you're right that there's a romance angle, and personally, I hope they get into Tolkien's ideas about the importance of "fairy-stories" for adults. The man is not the father of a genre for no good reason.

Also trees. We can still use more love for trees.

~Neshomeh

*looks up from MM, grinning* A fish? This, I need to hear!

...

Wait, wait... You ate a brain?!

...

*silence* *pats Thoth's shoulder*

Leonidas is so serious in the face of this nonsense, it's hilarious. ^_^

~Neshomeh