The PPC Posting Board - Latest posts

Have a suit of Imperial Guard flak armor, guaranteed for life! (Average lifespan of deployed Imperial Guardsman: 15 hours.)

"Eh... hi." (think Korben Dallas style here.)

I'm not good at introductions. That's because I never really know what to say here. Just the facts, ma'am? (Fine. Me human. Mostly. 48 - yeah, yeah, rub it in. Husband and two kids and three cats and two bunnies and all that.) Does that tell you anything? Yes and no. So...

Lots of fantasy in this head of mine, for all the mundane facts, and an aspiring writer (hah!). Usually I tend to stay away from fanfic because the average quality is atrocious.

And then I heard about you guys. So... to make a long story short (mind you, that takes an effort), here I am.

Be nice. :)

You never know when you might need some smutty vocabulary from a made-up language that isn't even used in-universe in your back pocket. ^_^

~Neshomeh

It's not generally my thing for publication, but in this case I'm treating it as a puzzle - how much can you do with a severely limited vocabulary and grammar? There are, for instance, no verb forms other than past and present, which - even allowing present to serve as imperative and infinitive - is pretty restrictive.

hS

I almost challenged you directly, but then I was like, "nah, that's not hS's thing," so I didn't. Turns out I was wrong, and that I didn't have to! ^_^

I will actually read these later.

~Neshomeh

Can't exactly swing it as a misplaced crossover, and while I'd love to see Agent Decima cringe at it, she only does slash, and femmeslash at that, IIRC.

I CAN swing it as a wrongfully assumed Suefic, though. ^_^

~Neshomeh

So... pondering on the nature of Gnomish literature, I... kind of came up with one.

It's pretty dark, and pretty explicit, and definitely NSFW, Tolkienesque circumlocutions in the translation aside. So... same setup as before, I guess?

~

"Ai, Alchon!" I ngolwin manci hauthwaid irtha. "Raug - raug!"

"Suss, Hîrwin!" Alchon genthi rômath morcin irtha, hanthi polmogiont. "Nin-brig i Orglin gima fi!"

Hîrwin fuithi auba irtha ad am ontha. "Nin-brig atha gwinta nin." Ir clamfi hacha ontha, hōli ontha. "Raug, Alchon - antha nin fi-gwaith!"

Alchon hanthi irtha i vant gonwed, gwib ontha cwanthi huch irtha. "Nin-mavros gwilm," on naithi. "Nin-mavros hoitha fin, u..."

"Gui hug nin," ninni Hîrwin. "Raug!"

Alchon nauri ar hanthi torod. On fori laub irtha ar fulthi tith irtha; on gwîli a, lôvi a, nôgi ar nacthi a.

Gogail Hîrwin ricthi, santha maus ar ong gomintha. "Alchon," ir cwithi, "hug nin..."

Upthani, Alchon fairthi gwaith ontha a chuch Hîrwin. On lantathi, manci ir.

Hîrwin genthi on ar micthi on. "Ai, Alchon, maimelion..." No: "Hith! Orglin!"

Alchon lantathi bâ, hōli baithri ontha; ninios, Orc lompi arog. Tair thanc lompi ar atha. "Druith!" upthani a. "Drab, el nin-daf gwir!"

"U." Hîrwin rôthi tîr. "Nin giol."

"Ai!" I Orc basga mab. "Lath gwilm fin. Ar fin!" A ponta ar Alchon. "Altha drab fin!"

A manci ôl Hîrwin ar hōli ir bâ. I ngolwin nauri, ar i Orc cacthi. "Nobron on cwiptha fin, drogwin," cachui a, "lonthi a!"

~

"Bu, Nypuba!" Gur Tabzvfu jbzna pyhgpurq ng ure ybire. "Fjvsgyl - fjvsgyl!"

"Uhfu, Uîejva!" Nypuba fvrmrq ure svygul fubhyqref, *guehfg fgebatre. "V srne gur Bepf urne lbh!"

Uîejva uvq ure pevrf ntnvafg uvf purfg. "V srne gurl frr zr." Fur pynjrq ng uvf ohggbpxf, chyyrq uvz. "Fjvsg, Nypuba - tvir zr lbhe frrq!"

Nypuba guehfg ure ntnvafg gur ebpxl jnyy, uvf funsg svyyvat ure. "V jvfu sbe crnpr," ur ynzragrq. "V jvfu gb znxr ybir gb lbh, abg..."

"Whfg gnxr zr," jrcg Uîejva. "Fjvsgyl!"

Nypuba tebjyrq naq *guehfg svrepryl. Ur gber ure fuveg bcra naq onerq ure obfbz; ur fdhrrmrq vg, yvpxrq vg, tanjrq naq ovg vg.

Uîejva'f zbhgu gjvfgrq, fubjvat cyrnfher naq cnva obgu. "Nypuba," fur juvfcrerq, "gnxr zr..."

Jvgu n fubhg, Nypuba eryrnfrq uvf frrq vagb Uîejva. Ur sryy, pyhgpuvat ng ure.

Uîejva uryq uvz naq xvffrq uvz yvtugyl. "Bu, Nypuba, qrne-orybirq..." Gura: "Yvfgra! Bepf!"

Nypuba sryy njnl, chyyvat ng uvf pybgurf; nynf, na Bep ehaf dhvpxyl. N ybngufbzr thneq ena gbjneqf gurz. "Fynirf!" vg fubhgrq. "Jbex, be V synl lbh!"

"Ab." Uîejva fgbbq gnyy. "V'ir pbaprvirq."

"Netu!" Gur Bep guerj hc n unaq. "N lrne bs erfg sbe lbh. Naq lbh!" Vg ghearq gb Nypuba. "Gjvpr gur jbex sbe lbh!"

Vg tenoorq Uîejva'f nez naq chyyrq ure njnl. Gur Tabzvfu jbzna pbzcynvarq, naq gur Bep ynhturq zbpxvatyl. "Gur arkg gvzr ur nebhfrf lbh, fynir-jbzna," vg ynhturq, "fjnyybj vg!"

~

The idea here is that if one of the slaves gets pregnant, she's pulled out of the mines for a year to preserve the breeding stock. If the story continued, Hîrwin would try to use the opportunity to escape, and potentially rescue Alchon; but, the First Age being what it is, I bet it'd end in tragedy.

And that is enough - in fact, far too much - of me writing dodgy ancillary-canon smut in languages literally no-one in the world can read. Good grief.

hS

Sometimes a story idea happens to you and there's nothing you can do but roll with it. And the title kind of fits, too. ^_^

~Neshomeh might even get it done this year, we'll see.

Europa Universalis is a grand strategy title. You have provinces, you have armies, you can develop your nation's ideas over time, and you can use your military might to beat people up. It's a bit like Risk, but bigger and more in-depth and you can play it on your own (so a fun version of Risk. =] ).

And yeah, it's absolutely feasible to conquer the world with Wales; you just need to be smart about it. More than anything, EUIV is a game about diplomacy; building alliances with big friends until you're big enough to stand and fight alone - and then you can take on the big friends you had previously, kick them in the shins, and nick all their stuff. Also, if you're playing as Wales (or any releasable nation), you have to start as the overlord - which means you can trash their economy, disband their armies, and burn their forts to the ground before releasing the nation you want to play as and switching to them.

Wales has actually got really good national ideas for conquering a large empire, too - solid Traditions right out of the gate, a fantastic Ambition (+25% land force limit like whaaaaaaaaaaat), and a lot of unrest control in between. Yes, it's going to be tricky to unite the planet under the Welsh banner, but that's all part of the fun! =]

To give you an example of that game's gameplay, especially when playing as someone very very small, here's noted player of the game Arumba doing a run as one-province nation Navarra on the most recent DLC, "Golden Century":-

Navarra's Golden Century

I hope it is informative. =]

Have a pen which magically changes colour!

Hi! I'm a Dutch teenager who just recently found out about the PPC through the wiki. I've recently started reading the original series. I've also read the constitution and the FAQ. I'm a fan of the Fallout series, The Hunger Games, Doctor Who, Star Trek and Sherlock. I love Kpop and watching youtube. I don't really have a favorite agent yet as I'm pretty bad at choosing. I'm a D&D fan, I've both played it and watched series of people playing it (Critical Role) I've been dancing for around 8-9 years. I also play guitar and a little bit of piano.

That's about it! hi!

(Don't worry - a few mistakes every now and then are good for Oldbie humility.)

Thinking about it, it's appropriate that Gnomish is the language that can write the best smut. Uniquely among the Elven languages, it was viewed as a language of slavery - it was spoken among the people who, at the time of the Great Tales, were almost all thralls in Angband (as referenced in the original Tale of Tinuviel, where Beren was hated by Thingol not as a mortal, but as a probable escaped slave-gnome). So they should have the earthy, blunt language to go with it. Qenya, and later Quenya, were the poetic languages of Valinor, while Noldorin and Sindarin were spoken by free peoples in Beleriand.

...

Aaaaand now I'm imagining Gnomish romance novels circulating in the mines, with occasional injections of torture porn written by Orcs to horrify them.

_{And then they form a League for the Preservation of Fictional Purity, and start writing poems where they rescue the victims of the Orcs' stories...}

hS, as above, so below

My eyes completely glossed over the rot13'd bit. Never mind.

(Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to alternate between hiding my face in shame and laughing at the drabble. Cheers.)

You can't tease us like that and then just leave those of us who don't speak the language hanging!

Sorry, I'm more of a text based roleplay person. But I think it would be a cool thing to do sometime.

Diradhin, Maglor rôthi had Bronwen i aithron gwenniniol."Nin-saitha thlib ar tithron gwandronta thas."

I 'wethli lanthi faiglin ontha. "Fi-thlaibi atha."

Maglor gwairi ar gwint irtha. "Nin-ista mavros gweltha hachar drum thas."

Bronwen lempi am land ontha. "Fi-wîli atha."

Maglor lanthi râ falt irtha. "Ar gui nin-îr fi-vaitha."

Bronwen laithi garob irtha. "Maitha nin."

Maglor rôthi Bronwen. Cailthi cailin irtha, rôma irtha, tith muig irtha. No a-gûmi cumlir. Gwî ontha taugi huch irtha, ar ar-gam a-haugi ar glô.

Drauth, Maglor cailthi cailin irtha ar cwithi, "U-wethli gui."

"U." I 'win lanthi alm onthi. "Hauthwaid Maglori?"

"U." Maglor rôthi irtha. "Bess Maglori."

~

A drabble, no less! And since I realised 'Bronwen' is perfectly acceptable Gnomish for 'Constance' ('bron' = steadfast, constant; '-wen' is your standard female suffix), it's also a PPC story!

Since so far as I know we have exactly one agent who could make any sense of it (Norlosse of DAS, who speaks Qenya but can probably pass in Gnomish), I suppose I'll offer a translation. Rot13'ed, because while it's not exactly super dirty, it is moderately explicit.

~

Bapr hcba n gvzr, Zntybe fgbbq snpvat Pbafgnapr, gur znvqrayl jneevbe. "V uhatre gb ync ng gul rkprrqvatyl snve oernfgf."

Gur znvqra fgebxrq uvf ybat gerffrf. "Lbh unir ynccrq ng gurz."

Zntybe ybbxrq hc ng ure snpr. "V srry na rntre ybatvat gb fdhrrmr gul svez ohggbpxf."

Pbafgnapr gbhpurq uvf purfg. "Lbh unir fdhrrmrq gurz."

Zntybe xvffrq ure oner nez. "Naq abj V vagraq gb enivfu lbh."

Pbafgnapr yrg fyvc ure pybnx. "Enivfu zr."

Zntybe rzoenprq Pbafgnapr. Ur xvffrq ure yvcf, ure fubhyqre, ure fbsg oernfg. Gura gurl ynl hcba gur pbhpu. Uvf zrzoehz ivevyr sbhaq ure phaahf, naq jvgu n fubhg gurl pbchyngrq hagvy qnja.

Jbea bhg, Zntybe xvffrq ure yvcf naq juvfcrerq, "Ab znvqra abj."

"Ab." Gur jbzna fgebxrq gur oebnq bs uvf onpx. "Zntybe'f pbafbeg?"

"Ab." Zntybe rzoenprq ure. "Zntybe'f jvsr."

~

BRB, editing all my stories to refer to Maglor as Zntybe. ^^

There's actually a lot of useful Gnomish words for the aspiring smut-author. I used this list, which comes with a handy grammar page; aside from the words I used, I noted 'pregnant', multiple words for 'swallow', lots of 'pleasure' and 'desire' terms, a word for 'darling'... and a host of things like 'bite', 'slave woman', 'untie', 'rope' (also glossed 'thong', hem hem), and the astoundingly suggestive laus - 'juice, sap; energy, vitality'.

And he did subtitle the Lay of Leithian 'Escape from Bondage'... I'm just sayin'. ^~

hS

It doesn’t look as if we share any fandoms, unfortunately, For your newbie gift, have some sweets which taste amazing but make you exhausted if you eat them.

I should stop trying to find the method in your madness, because there isn’t any.

Anyone want to be my ally?

I actually recognise the title, and considered checking it for inclusion, "but no," quoth I, "it says 'Europe' in the title, there's no point."

More fool me.

What's the gameplay like? My list was three RTS games and one turn-based strategy, but EU looks like it's a higher level of abstraction.

And is it really feasible to conquer the world with, say, Wales, when you have to start by bringing Wales into existence at all?

hS

https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neshomeh/works

My Skyrim fics are there, and so is my PPC stuff. I have a tidy little collection of potentially useful tags established, too. {= )

~Neshomeh

And the few Elves who can actually read the language are scandalized. ^_^

I think "smut written entirely in Gnomish" might be the next CAHQ card...

~Neshomeh

Nice to have you around. Do you play any sort of D&D, or Pathfinder? I know there's a lot of enthusiasts around here. Wholeheartedly agree, ramen is fantastic. Take a pair of camouflage print pants. Surprise your friends with invisible legs!

I know I already posted not so long ago, so... uh, sorry?
Anyway, the book is called “The Tragic Tale of the Celestial Lily and Crystal Silver”
————
Excerpt:
Crystal stares at the newcomer. No one has defied her before- surely this is not her author’s doing? She is perfect and the other characters are nothing compared to her, so how dare this-!!!

The Celestial Lily- or Lily Silversmith- stares at the queen. Her demon deal should have warped everyone’s feelings for her, right? So why…?
————
Crystal is a fourth wall-breaking Mary Sue who has a superiority complex because she has her author’s favor, and Lily is a “Mary Sue” who made a deal with a demon to be super powerful and loved and all that, and together they must... um, defeat the demon that Crystal unleashed to make her deal, I guess.
Basically two characters with superiority complexes and deep-rooted insecurities about the fact that they didn’t earn their positions clash while everyone else assumes they’re friends, because they’re both “perfect”. So the fate of the world should definitely not be in their hands, but that”s okay, because according to Crystal, it’s a book, and the heroes always win in books!
I also have no idea how collaboration is going to actually work so there’s that.

Greetings to our esteemed board, new friend! Have a suit of Imperial Guard flak armor, the impenetrable mantle that is the constant companion of the brave soldiers of the Imperium for their entire lives! (Average lifespan of deployed Imperial Guardsman: 15 hours.)