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Welcome to the wonderful world of Europa Universalis IV

The above is a map of all the nations present at the start of the game, that being in the year 1444 (the game ends in 1821). More are possible to be founded or punted out of larger nations via a peace deal; indeed, this is a very good way of weakening larger nations like Ming China, the Ottomans, and so on. Not only can that be done, but other nations can be formed if, say, a colony becomes independent or a nation fulfils certain requirements.

In total, not including special tags for things like rebels and pirates or special nations that can only appear in the game when added in via outside sources like Jomsvikingr, the Roman Empire, or Jan Mayen (long story), there are seven hundred and eighty-seven unique nation tags in Europa Universalis IV. Okay, you won't see all of them at once. You can't; some, like the Chinese minors, are dependent on a Mingsplosion (as she is called), which is far from guaranteed to happen and something you really have to hope doesn't happen if you're, for example, playing as Ming.

Oh, did I not mention that they're all playable?

Because they're all playable.

And you can conquer the world with all of them.

There's even an achievement for doing it with Ryukyu. =]

I also like the carry on films, especially carry on spying.

Doing so will only make people disappointed in you. (That is, once I make a sufficiently big name for myself...)

*goes off to summon my decoy brethren*

-Twistey

The last I brought this up (having to do with fanmade videos), the answer was mostly towards the latter approach of novelization. However, if you are particularly ambitious, you could try and make a comic about missioning the comic.

-Twistey

So, updates on the PPC strategy games:

- Plortish Warfare: I put Delta Juliette in charge of the Plort strategy game, as she actually wrote some stuff about Plortish warfare. No further progress has happened about that. She also hasn't acknowledged my promotion of her to the head of the project.

- Mass Mission: I was debating with hS about whether he should undertake the mass mission strategy game. He mentioned a PPC board game he came up with earlier that was really bad. Perhaps fixing that is a good starting point, and then we can amp up the scale.

- Shiny Newbie: hS is undertaking this project, which has gone from being a strategy game to a visual novel. (I think.) I mentioned an idea to him that at one point in time, the player could play as a badficcer who was sporked and got on the Board to look for answers (while not telling anyone who they were), it has not been responded to.

- Boarder Wars: Since I haven't gotten enough support to make an actual Axis and Allies parody, I'm instead going to research on how to make a Boarder-themed Hearts of Iron 4 reskin, which I shall call "Hearts of Bleeprin." As HoI4 is a WWII game, I'm going to make the sacrifice of taking Germany (unless someone legitimately wants it), so who else wants a country?

-Twistey

I'm Twistey. I approve of quite a few of those fandoms. Have some Poe Slaw, which is not real coleslaw but is in fact a Bleeprin-laced dessert. Welcome aBoard!

-Twistey

It's nice to have a fellow CHERUB fan around! Here, take a grey shirt - won't be needing any orange here.

Also take a full set of dice - your choice of color and pattern. Ignore any glitter that's worked its way in, unless you asked for it, in which case, well, enjoy your lucky streaks, I suppose.

I'm an English teenager who goes by the name of QuantumMelody29 on the internet! I found the PPC via tvtropes and started reading the original series a week or so ago. I also read the constitution and most of the FAQs on the wiki. I'm not particularly active in any fandoms but I am a fan of Pokemon, Minecraft, Terraria, Yo kai watch, tomodachi life, miitopia and gachaverse/gacha life. Literature that I am a fan of include the CHERUB series and Artemis Fowl. I love the star wars franchise, but have not watched some of the more recent movies. I have however, watched the star wars holiday special, and I now enjoy watching other people on youtube reacting to it. My favorite music genre is electro. As of yet, probably my favorite agent is Len, because the flamethrower crazy story description is hilarious and I love comedy. In my spare time I post on forums, watch youtube, read internet stuff and play games. I also like roleplaying. For some reason, I am obsessed with Japanese food, like mochi, ramen and teryaki beef. So, yeah. Hi.

...As I recall, there was a bad Avatar, The Last Last Airbender fan-comic that was missioned a few years ago by Iximaz.
And I'm perfectly aware that Hentai Doujinshis, and certain western adult fan-comics are seriously NSFW and NSFB. I was thinking of putting together a team or two that primarily specializes in killing these type of comics. Trick is to censor the source material. Or should I just novelize it and typed in boldface...

Important note: content warning for material that could be distressing for survivors of childhood sexual assault in the very last paragraph of this post. It’s nothing remotely graphic or counter to Board rules - just the legal definition of a term - but far better to over-warn than under-warn.

Personally, I switched over to AO3 (the Archive Of Our Own, archiveofourown.org) years ago, and haven’t touched the Pit of Voles the Den of Weasels fanfiction.net in years. It is (mostly) invite-only - you can also request an invite directly, though I don’t know how long that takes.

I believe, though, they gave every account something like nine invites in response to the Tumblr apocalypse, so if anyone wants an invite, hit me up.

Personally, I’ve found that the average ‘fic quality is much higher than on e.g. ff.net; there’s probably some bias there, since I exclusively find new fic by going through the bookmarks of authors whose ‘fic I like. Even so, I’ve never seen anything as bad as you can find on ff.net (by which, to be clear, I mean that the lowest-quality ‘fic I see on AO3 is still much better than the lowest-quality ‘fic on Flickr.net).

AO3 is also very explicitly a safe space to post anything and everything - they have rules about user conduct, but IIRC the only explicitly-forbidden content is defined by law (e.g. no child pornography, under the legal definition thereof as photographic or video depictions of children in sexual situations).

Ha! Indeed. ;)

The one thing that made it marginally less terrifying was that, if it had been what they suspected, it wouldn’t have actually been cancerous. It would have been a benign tumor pressing on my optic nerve, only even needing addressing because the optic nerve part would have otherwise eventually made me go blind.

The other good news is that my symptoms could be caused by a couple of relatively minor things I already knew about. This isn’t my first time to go through the “what’s going on” dance, and this one has at least been blessedly short.

When Tolkien first constructed his Elvish languages, there were two main ones: Qenya, or Elf-Latin, and Gnomish. Over time, he changed them both significantly, and ultimately renamed them as Quenya and Noldorin, which then became Sindarin.

I was actually slightly wrong in my recollection: per this page, the Qenya 'pukta/puhta' and Noldorin 'hoith' aren't strictly poetic. The actual poetic word is 'gwî', which is a term for what I'm sure Tolkien would call the male generative organ. They show up in various lexicons, alongside a host of related terms.

I've seen the source-texts for these words described as 'Tolkien's little black book', and honestly, it's hard to argue. If you want to write smut in an Elvish language, get hold of a copy of Parma Eldalamberon 11 and use the Gnomish Grammar and Lexicon. Just accept that nobody on the planet is going to understand what you've written.

(Or, y'know, just use Ardalambion's Quenya course and figure out how to adapt the words.)

hS

Yeah, seriously. My husband and I were both mildly manic with relief last night, and it took a few hours before we stopped turning to each other every couple minutes to go “No tumor!”

Nice to meet you! It’s really weird to realize that I was last around some fifteen years ago.

I take it the missing "u" in "Quenya" was a typo?

You know how it is - sometimes, you just get an urge to take over the entire world. Unfortunately that's frowned on in polite society, but luckily, computer games have your back!

There have been a great many games dedicated to letting you play through the history of the world, creating great art, building vibrant cities, and crushing other civilisations under your fancy boots. But which of them is the best?

No, I don't mean anything crass like 'gameplay'. What we want to know is: which of them lets you conquer the most nations on the planet?

1999 - Age of Empires II



Sequel to 1997's Age of Empires, which featured 16 civilisations mostly from Europe, and prequel to 2005's Age of Empires III, which had 14, AoE II takes the crown in its series with no less than 31 nations present. Europe is of course heavily represented, but Northern Africa gets its dues too (there are 4 African nations, counting Saladin's Saracens). Asia has a fair showing, but Australasia is left out entirely, and the Americas have only three nations between them (the Aztecs, Maya, and Inca).

It's worth noting that the reason AoEII has so many nations, and so much global representation, is that they've actually been adding new expansion packs recently. To a 20-year-old game. It's good stuff.

2003 - Rise of Nations



Microsoft's entry into the genre only has 24 civilisations, but in some ways they actually come out ahead. I'm not talking about that huge blue blob in Africa - that's 'Bantu', which is a really broad term. But the Americas are up to 6 nations (only 1 less than Europe!), and two of those are extant Native American tribes ('Lakota' and 'Iroquois').

2005 - Empire Earth II



Once again, the second in the series takes the throne. Empire Earth (2001) actually had more nations, hitting 21, but two of those were fictional, and the others were heavily concentrated in Europe (they are the only entry in this page to let you play as Israel, though). Empire Earth III (2007) had... three. We don't talk about that.

EEII, however, has a nice set of 18, spread around the globe. Compared to the previous entries, it's lacking in a lot of areas, though it does have the unique-in-this-post existence of the Maasai.

And now, it's time to jump genres...

2016 - Civilization VI



Because you can't talk about conquering the world without talking Civ. I've chosen to use the most recent entry here, but they're all pretty heavy on the nations:

-Civ (1991): 14
-Civ II (1996): 21
-Civ III (2001): 31 (matching AoE II)
-Civ IV (2005): 34
-Civ V (2010): 43
-Civ VI (2016): 42... so far

And there is a lot of coverage here. Asia is almost full, and places like Brazil, Australia, and Canada get their first appearances alongside the likes of Georgia and Scotland. We've got a new entry in the Native American roster - the Cree. Even Africa gets a good deal out of Civ, with Arabia and Phoenicia (Carthage) sharing space with Egypt, Nubia, Mali, Kongo, and Zulu.

Now, I'm not about to declare Civ the single best way to conquer the history of the world - I'm sure there are other options! So what are they, and do any of them do anything with Australia other than put some guy in a funny hat?

hS

PS: I really wanted to include Command and Conquer: Red Alert 2, which lets you play as a dozen different countries. But really, there's only two sides, with the nations just a way to pick your unique unit. Still, though - "It will be a sssilent ssspring..." ~hS

Have you had a chance to look at my first mission yet?

Approximately eight hours later, Tiger was snoring silently. Admittedly that was only because he’d cast a snoring spell on himself and the girls were too fed up with listening to it so had silenced him.

His mission wasn’t really going that well: he was securely trapped in a cage made out of magically reinforced chairs and had so far heard nothing of use to him.

Out of one half-closed eye, he spotted Sarah, the girls’ leader, heading in his direction and internally groaned.

“Wake up!” she said, poking him.

Tiger jerked upright but said nothing as he had been silenced. Right, he told himself, you have no idea what’s happened for the last nine hours and you have a massive hangover.

“So,” asked Sarah, “why were you stupid enough to get drunk?”

Tiger said nothing.

“Oh. Right. Silencing spell.” She muttered something. “That should do it. Now answer my question.”

Tiger found he was able to talk. “Drunk?” he asked. “I only remember having one glass…” He clutched his forehead, imagining a pounding headache.

“Why did you drink anything when you know that it is against your own father’s rules?”

“Well, I figured it couldn’t do any harm, just one glass… everyone was having some.”

“Whose idea was it to drink in the first place?”

“Martin’s. He found a bottle somewhere and proposed a celebration of our impending victory.”

Sarah looked at Tiger as if he had gone mad. “No way,” she said. “Even Martin wouldn’t be that stupid… unless…”

Tiger could tell that she had worked it out. He wasn’t altogether surprised. “Unless what?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

“Unless… you were pretending to be drunk… so you could spy…”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. That would be the worst plan I’ve ever heard.”

“I know Martin,” Sarah said. “I dated him last year. He is just the sort to make a plan like that.”

Tiger sighed. “Okay. Fine. I admit it. I’m a spy. Now what?”

Sarah hesitated.

“I have an idea,” said Tiger suddenly. “How about I spy for you?”

Sarah blinked. “You… want to switch sides.”

“Yeah. I’ve had enough of working for an idiot. What would you like Martin to think your plans are?”

“Hang on… how do I know you’re not just faking it to escape?”

That was a good point. “You don’t,” he said, knowing that there was nothing that he could do to persuade her that he was going to stick with his new side. He wasn’t even sure of it himself. It would be very satisfying to beat Martin, but on the other hand he also really wanted to beat his sister.

“True enough, I guess…” Sarah was clearly thinking about this quite hard. “I’ll need to talk about this with the others. I’ll be back in a minute.”

She walked away from Tiger, who returned to his slump. Even though he didn’t actually have a hangover, the dizziness spells were taking longer to wear off than he’d expected.

To be continued...

It's always scary waiting for the biopsy results or MRI scans or what-have-you. And a sigh of relief when you get good news.

(Also, hi, I'm Iximaz! I was a little kid when you were last around, but it's nice to finally meet you!)

That's great news!

Well, other than attack you with snow, but you started it.

*starts digging tunnel*

When I saw Floorplanner had been changed a few months ago, I'll admit my first thought was annoyance. I'm rather fond of the more cartoony version they had before (and with a bit of dorking around, I was able to still edit my saved RCs in the old version, but I couldn't add new items).

Your redesign does look good, though, so maybe I'll have to stop my grumbling and give them another go.

Okay, I admit this is just an excuse for me to share stuff I've been messing with, but anyone can do it, so...

Design your agents' RC with Floorplanner!

I did my agents' RCs with this a long time ago, but they've changed a bunch of stuff since then. The options (many, many options) all look a lot more realistic now. Downside: no color customization except on walls and floors. Upside: waste hours and hours searching for just the right furniture and accents! It's Fun! {= D (Or be less obsessive and perfectionist than I am, have fun, and also have something to show for it. ^~ )

Suggested inner dimensions for RCs, in meters because that's the default:

Office Single (undivided living/office area) - 4m x 6m
Office Double (divided into 2-4 rooms) - 8.15m x 7.65m
Fancy Single (main area + closet & bathroom) - 5.15m x 8.15m
Fancy Double (main area + 2 rooms, 2 closets, 1 bathroom) - 10.15m x 8.15m

As for exactly how the insides are arranged, I reckon HQ is nothing if not inconsistent, so go nuts. FYI, the Fancy Double is hella generous, like a proper apartment. You probably have to be a veteran and have kids and pull some serious shenanigans strings to get one of those.

Other tips: I've used the Greek Texture surface for the floors. I think the White Lacquer Entertainment Unit with a Mixer Console on it makes a half-convincing console. Stick a Kitchen Single Cabinet next to it and mount a Digital Jukebox Icon Storm on there, and it'll pass for the disguise generator.

The first thing I've updated that I'm calling done is the FicPsych foyer:

<a href="https://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/File:FicPsychfoyer.png">

If you follow the link to the wiki, you can see the old version and the new version to compare. Mainly, the walls are less janky, the nurses' station is built into the space rather than tacked on the outside, and the whole thing is just neater. For reference, the diameter of the whole circle would be 12 meters, the length of the long, straight wall, and so it's 6m from the main entrance to the doorway to Unit A. The curve isn't a real half-circle, but a) I couldn't get the walls to bend like that, and b) this is probably more functional anyway.

And here is Jenni's RC, which is an Office Single:



Notably, this version is pre-Henry, so there's a bookshelf in the place where a kid's bed will go later. I'm less than thrilled with the grassy green rug, but oh well, close enough. At least it livens up the image.

I might put together slideshows of these in 3D so you can see what it's like to be inside, but not tonight.

So, what about the rest of you? Care to give it a shot? {= D

~Neshomeh

Don't know where a Recruitment story falls in, but the closest thing I found said that it's an Interlude, so an Interlude it is.

No word worlds involved. Only PPC canon required.