The PPC Posting Board - Latest posts

"that you're conspiring with the DIA to run the PPC from the shadows?"

[scribbling intensifies]

"I'm not sure what spike you're talking about and I didn't call in any favors for the quake either. On to more pressing subjects: What are you talking about? I assume you mean Selena? When did she visit Rudi's? And what agent is now devoted to her? I'm asking because I really need to know."

Alexander, do those other reasons for being around Bad Slash have anything to do with the sudden spike in agents wandering around in a daze? And if you didn't pay anyone to set off that quake, did you maybe call in a favor or five to have it done and set up alibis? And is it true that you brought your little sister, Selene, to Rudi's to give her a head start on becoming an agent like her big brother? Did she really come away with the heart of another agent devoted to her?

"Nope. Though we were debating running an operation with the DIA called the Weedening II, Return of the Weed, but..."

"Actually, forget I said any of that. We have no plans about taking over the PPC at all. Too much paperwork."

"Personally, I am quite fond of my own tree - an oak, if you cared to know - and he is quite fond of me. If I was forced to choose another, though... hmm... perhaps the olive tree? They are productive and full of meaning. Though the olive-bound Dryads I have had the dubious pleasure of meeting have all tended to be rather... ah... interesting to deal with."

I believe you. Totally.

∗beat∗

Ahahahaha! Oh man... haha... I was so bluffing before, because a Skyrim Dragonborn would kill me without breaking a sweat, but I can totally kick your ass. Loki loves me today. Ahaha... help, I'm crying, it's too funny. XD

(( There, back in the saddle. {= ) ))

If you could choose any other kind of tree for you to be tied to, what would it be?

I'm not sure. It's... kinda a tricky sorta thing to do.

By the way, if anyone else wants to give it a go... you are welcome to take a crack at it. Heck, that's what I did.

What, you expected more than that?

Fine.

I tried to stop another slave from escaping. Got too close when the implant in his chest was detonated. Lost my arm and my eye for bothering to try to save his life.

Dumbass.

You happy now?

I am dating a Jack replacement at the moment, though—Jacques Bonnefoy. We bake pies and dance around the kitchen together, and he's been teaching me how to sing, and I tell him stories about Pokémon battles. He's been wonderful. <3

Think you'll do a sequel once the mailbox game concludes?

Yes, friends, rivals, potential customers, we are back! Thanks to the work of our tireless reporters, The Multiverse Monitor is releasing a special midweek abbreviated edition, to bring you the latest news we have obtained from agents. Made with love, care, and excessive quantities of caffeine in as little time as we could possibly spend on it, this special issue is guaranteed to excite.

Pick it up at your local newsstand, or here.

~~

So yeah, with all the MM reporters flying around the Mailbox Game, I figured I'd find a way to abuse the quotes that ensued, in true MM style. Echoing real-world tabloid tradition, this was written over the course of 24 hours and edited relatively minimally. Yes, we checked for SPaG, but we weren't the most comprehensive.

Thanks to Calliope and Iximaz for giving me permission to horrifically defame their agents, to Geema for giving me horrible ideas, to Nesh for helping to ensure my SPaG was up to scratch and allowing me to defame her agents as well, and to all of the above, Tomash, and probably others for being the MM reporters without which this would not exist.

I look forward to hearing what people think.

As wonderful as the view was, there was only one place he wanted to be, and that was the one that he’d been foolish enough to leave.

I love this sentence in particular - just want to say that.

And that doorslam at the end was funny. ^^

So, uh, what happened to your arm?

"I thought you were allying with a secret department called the DIO to replace the Flowers with clones and wipe everyone's memory! What's this about demonic badgers?"

Is it true than you have been smuggling Jack Harkness inside HQ for dates and cosplaying around?

So, I heard from someone that they'd read in the Multiverse Monitor that you were in a threesome with Ilraen and Farilan, but they didn't manage to get the details. So, how was it? Did you have a good time?

How are the fire-lizards doing? Zeke's been a great help for me around the lab; I built him a little bed on my desk and he naps there when he's not fetching me tools.

"I heard about the panty incident, but that wasn't me. Enchanting's not my style. The horde of minis wasn't my fault either. I just happened to be nearby for... various reasons. And earthquakes aren't my specialty. And before you ask, I definitely didn't pay anyone to do it either. Nobody had any evidence of that."

Is it true you once enchanted Luxury's invisible wool panties to fly around the SO's office for three days? What about the time you got a horde of minis to stampede through the halls of Bad Slash? Did you really cause that massive earthquake in the Canon Library 'just to see what would happen'?

"The fact that you think I want to murder the Flowers and the agents who support them, or the fact that you think I'd be so sloppy about it that you'd be able to find out before the coup went down. I mean really."

"No, DAVD is not planning on taking over the PPC by assassinating the Flowers with an army of demonic badgers and replacing them with clones. I don't know where this rumor keeps coming from."