Subject: "Suspended"
Author:
Posted on: 2017-03-28 01:12:00 UTC

Alone in his RC, he stared down at the wand in his hand.

This was legitimate—well, as legitimate as a Suvian wand from a badfic could be. It was undoubtedly made from some outlandish non-canon things, bear claw and eucalyptus wood or such, but a real and proper wand, nonetheless. Not one of those Muggle-use wands that any agent could use.

He tried one last time. Swish and flick. Nothing. Nothing at all.

He looked down at the Kwikspell lesson laying open on the large tabletop before him. The diagrams on wand posturing and foot stance. The basic spells that a child in the Potterverse could manage—at least, the ones who were wizards.

He batted the Kwikspell course off the table, releasing the wand at the end of the motion so that it clattered to the ground along with the paper. It joined the growing pile of magic swords, enchanted armor, cursed gems. Trinkets and baubles and refuse from across the known multiverse, all supposed to grant magical powers in their origin worlds.

And, to him, all useless.

He should have known, really. Kwikspell didn’t work for Muggles, and that is, essentially, what he was. Never mind that the line in the fanfiction from which he’d been recruited specifically named his as “wizard.”

But nothing seemed to work. Nothing in this entire, wide multiverse—no, that just couldn’t be.

He moved around the table, to the spot where he had laid out the five basic land cards of Magic: the Gathering. Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, corresponding to white, blue, black, red and green mana. In his home universe, wizards and planeswalkers fueled their spells with mana, drawn from memories of the lands they had visited in their travels and training. In the card game, the players represented this energy source, and the cost of using it, by turning the land cards ninety degrees for the rest of the turn: “tapping.”

Imagine if all worlds contained mana. A PPC agent, gaining memories of them all . . . tapping all those resources . . .

He ran his long, thin fingers over his face. He certainly looked the part of a stereotypical wizard. Robes, wrinkled skin, pointy hat, long, grey beard and mustache. The PPC at large clearly thought so—his nickname of “Pinball Wizard” had developed from his activities in the Game Center, though the others didn’t realize how mocked he felt to be called that.

But someday, it would be a true description. He would keep searching. He would keep trying the magic items he could find on missions. He would keep bartering for what he could get off HQ’s black market. He would, someday, live up to his nickname.

The Pinball Wizard lightly rested his fingertips on one of the land cards and turned it sideways.

doctorlit’s note: I have written this character once before, for PoorCynic’s very first Writing Workshop. I know I haven’t used him since then, but I do plan for him to be part of my regular cast of characters. Magic: the Gathering, mana and land cards were created by Richard Garfield and belong to Wizards of the Coast, while Muggles, Kwikspell and the Potterverse were created by and belong to J.K. Rowling. Muggle-use wands were created by Meir Brin.

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