Subject: Review.
Author:
Posted on: 2017-03-30 15:34:00 UTC

I like it! Okay, okay, I know it needs to be longer than that.

So whilst I know quite a bit about Doctor Who I'm personally not a massive fan of it myself, and with this I feel like I don't need to be. It may just be like that because I love the Day of the Doctor (more for the music, but hey). It's written from a perspective that, as far as I'm aware anyway, is never really touched upon in Doctor Who. And I really get that feeling of hopelessness at the start as The Guardsman watches what must be another friend or fellow soldier die and the insurmountable odds that are facing them. I like the interaction between the Sergeant Major and The Guardsman, with the former trying his level best to keep what must not just be The Guardsman but also each of the other twenty-two men in the unit fighting. And then that short final bit after the message is received, it's direct, to the point and just encapsulates what the whole thing is about in four words. "Hope ain't dead yet."

There were a couple of SPaG issues, but it's really not that bad. The main thing I was confused about was the capitalization of Guardsman and Sergeant Major which are capitalized when they are first mentioned but then aren't for the rest of the prompt. The other thing I really want to mention is that the Sergeant Major always uses 'said' and there never seems to be any hints that they aren't in a tench desperately fighting for their lives. I wouldn't mind seeing either a bit more emotion in how the words are actually said, or even say have one part interrupted as either one of the Sergeant Major or the Guardsman has to try and dodge a shot or something like that, something to say 'yes we are still in a war zone and we're not just chatting about this five miles from the front lines.'

Overall though I really enjoyed reading this through, so thanks for that.

Novastorme

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