Subject: Re: Return of the Monthlyish PPC Writing Challenge.
Author:
Posted on: 2017-03-25 00:06:00 UTC
Note: SPOILER warning for the end and, to some extent, general premise of Torchwood season 3 (Children of Earth). Some dark imagery in line with that.
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Jacques jolted into wakefulness, gasping as his heart rate began to settle. No one was in his bed; as his hand hit the back of the couch he realized that he wasn't in his bed. He rubbed a hand over his face and groaned, wondering how long he'd been out.
Two hours, going by his watch, though who knew how accurate it was by now. HQ didn't exactly have a stabilizing effect on timepieces. Sometimes, Jacques found himself wondering how people decided when to celebrate their birthdays.
How had he even managed to fall asleep? The TV was still on, cycling through a DVD menu--
A face that could have been his at his most sadly determined flashed across the screen and everything fell into place.
Children of Earth. He'd been watching Children of Earth (the third Torchwood season, not the cheesy Old Earth musical he remembered seeing before he'd been himself) and somehow fallen asleep.
No wonder he'd had nightmares about sacrificing the Sato children to save everyone in HQ. They were the closest he had to family in this place, and he hadn't seen them in what, two weeks? A month? It felt like years. And at least they didn't call him 'uncle', they knew he was a version of one of their dads, but--
The parallels were still there. They might have been Jack's children instead of his grandson, and they knew exactly who Jacques was and a very simplified version of what he actually did for a job, and HQ wasn't currently under attack, and yet--
And yet all of that couldn't quite dispel the nightmare of himself in Jack's place, needing three children to make the signal strong enough to wipe out the shadowy invaders, finding no one else who could serve as a conduit and unable to force the signal through himself in their place--
Jacques found himself on his feet, heart racing again. No. It was never going to come to that, not ever, and not least because, unlike Alice, he was completely certain that the Satos' mother would actually kill him. And then she'd do it again, and find a way to make it stick, if she was feeling kind enough...
He couldn't shake the nightmare. Not when jack harkness the mini-Reaper flew into his shoulder, not when he poured and drank a glass of water (his hands were shaking), and not even when he gave up on drinking and poured the water over his head. Something about it would not let go.
This was the absolute last time he was going to watch his home canon. Ever.
But even that resolution wasn't enough, and he ended up pacing, trying to work off the tension and the shaking and only making it worse. He had to--he had to--
His first thought was to go see Luxury, but he didn't think he could bring himself to voice what his subconscious had decided to torture him with, much less find the desire to touch her right now. His second thought was the children again, and it turned into Ruby's scream and Seren's closed eyes and Owain--
No.
He forced one deep breath and then another. Reluctantly, he went to find a mirror; he'd probably look like hell either way, but at least he could see if his hair needed combing. And then he could grab his jacket (heavy, dark, everything he hadn't been wearing in the dream) and go to the Nursery.
After all, what better way to convince every part of his brain that the Satos were still happy and breathing?
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Six-year-old Ruby ran straight for him the moment he walked into her line of sight. "Jacques! Jacques Jacques Jacques--" She stopped shrieking when he went to his knees to hug her, hugging back for a minute before she wriggled free and grabbed his hand. "I made a gold thing and it's really cool! You take a pencil and you draw on it and then you flip it over and it's really cool! But you have to draw on the silver side, or it looks weird. Come see!"
He went--of course he went, he was always going to look at whatever she wanted to show him--trying to hide the shakiness of his breathing. She was alive--she was so alive, and she was going to stay that way if he had to take on every villain in existence to make it happen. She was fine.
"Where are Seren and Owain?" he asked. Amusement tugged briefly at him: he'd managed to time the question perfectly, landing it in between them arriving at the low art table and Ruby starting to explain her latest art project in more detail.
Ruby shrugged. "Seren's making maps so she can go places on her own and Owain's trying to read or something. I don't know. I think they're over there." She pointed to a corner of the room, past a handful of other kids of varying ages.
Jacques looked. Seren was there, her little head bent over the piece of paper she was drawing on. A familiar scowl was on her face: the crayon must not be cooperating. Behind her and to her left, Owain sat on a bean bag chair, his lips moving as he sounded out words to himself. As Jacques watched he stopped trying to read, flipping the pages quickly enough that Jacques knew he'd gone back to just looking at the pictures. Then again, he was only five; easy reading didn't even need to be in his skill set yet. As his mother had said once, it was just that much more time that they got to spend reading to him.
Jacques took a deep breath in and let it out, relieved when it didn't shudder. "Alright," he said to Ruby, and sat down where he'd be able to see her, her artwork, and her younger siblings. He even managed a smile. "Tell me about your cool foil thing."
Ruby happily obliged.
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Another note: this ended up leaning more towards the determined side of hope. Less the 'I wish this would happen and I hope it will' side and more 'I hope this will happen and I will do anything to make it real' side. The first third has been mildly edited by me; the rest got only as much editing as happens when one reads back a sentence to know how to continue and ends up changing a word or two. I don't know how long it is--maybe about 1k? Word count in Microsoft Word says 1,003 words. Not quite a drabble, more of a one-shot. Comments and concrit welcome; this may eventually become canon. It's certainly in line with it.
I think I'm out of time to drop a review on anything right now, but hopefully ( :) ) I'll get there tomorrow night or Sunday.
~Zing