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A true work of art, right there. ;)

This is her casual outfit. An earlier version had the sash arching upwards instead of down, which made her look distinctly pregnant. I changed that. ^_~

hS

I think I actually like the porgs more now, knowing at least some of them were covering up actual fat-bird behavior. I'm really kind of shocked that the internet-at-large seems to revile them so much, because they really don't do anything. When they do get focused on, it's barely for two seconds before the movie takes over again. The only scene that gives them longer screen time is when they're watching Chewbacca eat their kin, and even that has a plot purpose: distracting Chewbacca from seeing Luke enter the Falcon. And did anyone not want Luke and R2-D2 from having that quiet little reunion scene together? That was a wonderful moment! . . . Brought to us by the porgs!

And really, it's okay for there to be some cutesy stuff in Star Wars. It's a pretty dang big galaxy; there's room for them. Their design is actually fairly creative, too. It would have been so easy to just cover up the real life sea birds with space fantasy sea birds, but the designers went guinea pig instead. Guinea pigs that still nest like birds and care for young in the same way as birds (one was seen delivering food to the nestlings, so they don't have mammaries, despite their mammal-like appearance), they can even fly like birds! I think they're fun. And less plot-intrusive than Ewoks. Yeah, I said it!

On Leia . . . Honestly, I was a little angry during the moment when she appeared to have been killed off. Especially since the ice crystals developing on her skin looked a bit CGI, I was afraid this was how the screen-writers had chosen to remove her from the trilogy. In that moment, I felt like it was far too early to remove her from the plot, especially knowing from press releases that Carrie Fisher had contributed so much performance during filming. So my feelings when Leia regained consciousness and reverse-Force-pushed her way back to the ship were feelings of roaring triumph and relief, and I really didn't care how contrived or silly the methods looked. I still don't particularly care about that aspect; I'm just glad we got more Leia as a result.

That said, I'm actually a little furious that they killed off Admiral Ackbar. It's not like his appearance was tied to a particular actor or anything; he could have stayed in the series FOREVER.

As for Luke, I pretty much agree with Huinesoron's assessment. Luke had no way off the island. I didn't catch that his door was built of X-Wing parts, but after my initial reaction of "he's going to lift the X-Wing out of the water later, like Dagobah!" the logic sunk in: that fighter's been underwater for years, if not decades. And if that body of water surrounding the Jedi island (Jedisland?) is salty like an Earth ocean, the metal would be corroded. There's pretty much zero chance it would function any more.

One small note: I agree with hS's and Neshomeh's idea that Luke died from the effort of Force-projecting himself to another planet. It's the simpler explanation, compared to what I thought of during the movie: that all that blaster fire was psychologically harming Luke while it was hitting all around him. There's some maybe-corroboration for this theory: He does carefully dodge all of Kylo's lightsaber thrusts during their duel, although that could also have been to keep Kylo from realizing it wasn't really Luke, to give the Resistance more time to escape. Also, during the very first scene when Rey and Kylo are mentally linked, Rey fires a blaster at him, and Kylo seems to experience some pain. But again, I think hS and Nesh win the Occam's razor award, here.

As for introducing new Force powers: well, they kind of have to, don't they? If we stuck only with stuff from the previous six episodes, there wouldn't be any sense of discovery abut what the Force can do. I mean, I still think the silliest portrayal of a Force power in the series thus far is when Darth Vader stopped Han's blaster shots at Bespin by . . . blocking them? With his hand? Video gamish much? Maybe it's the same idea as Kylo stopping the blaster energy in midair in TFA, and the effects at the time couldn't manage something like that, but . . . it's pretty silly looking now.

—doctorlit cares for a two-toed sloth named Chewie, is apparently not capable of shortening Chewbacca's name any more

Yeah, I . . . I really had no inkling there was anything physical about those at all while they were on screen. I have jumped to a conclusion, and am a terrible person. :(

—in defense of doctorlit, the foxes he works with are floof-doggos, rather than shard-doggos

I pasted a few missions into LibreOffice (11pt Arial, letter paper, 1-inch margins to match GDocs'/Ix's formatting) to get page counts.

The first mission of TOS is nine pages long.

The 22nd (Elemental Crystals) is 13.

Nume and Ilraen's first mission is 11 pages, while their third (the Pern crossover) is 31.

The Notary and Wobbles' first mission (ignoring the title page) is 22 pages (GDocs already was formatted in the way I was comparing to).

Picking somewhat arbitrarily off of your work, "Opposite Reaction Same Result " is 12 pages, "legolas, by Laura" is 10.

Since somehow I felt like more datapoints, the Cupcakes mission is 25 pages, "Shed No Tears", also by WarriorJoe (which appears to be a short one, given that it's not posted in two parts), is 12.

Then, since I have a bunch of Ix's writing saved, I have the following stats:

Over my entire archive (including interludes), which has 113 documents:

   Min. 1st Qu.  Median    Mean 3rd Qu.    Max. 
   2.00   10.00   17.00   19.27   24.00   56.00 

Over the "typical missions" (assuming the 23 documents that had 7 or fewer pages were interludes and that the 11 documents with at least 40 pages were outliers):

   Min. 1st Qu.  Median    Mean 3rd Qu.    Max. 
   8.00   14.00   19.00   19.37   22.00   39.00

So, my conclusion here is that a 16 page mission is, while maybe a bit long by the standards of TOS, well within the typical length range.

(note: me-generated counts may be off by about a page or two at worst if GDocs and LibreOffice disagree about how tall the space between paragraphs should be.)

- Tomash

It's been a while since I've read a mission, but I decided to read this one (after seeing it was only - 'only'! - 16 pages). No thoughts; I'm barely awake enough to have taken it in. Good stuff.

hS

Duchess Baron Kaitlyn of Plort. On the left we have her battlefield medic outfit; in the middle Baron Me clearly forced her to go to a ball; on the right we have her nurse's uniform from Bodldops Hospital.

I started out trying to make three identical images, then varied them from there. It... didn't exactly work out, particularly when it comes to the faces. But it'll do, it'll do...

hS

... Flatland!

Oh, um, sorry: this image obviously should have an 'EXTREMELY NSFW' warning. It's an image of Shipverse!Kaitlyn, and some of her... many... friends. (Shipverse!hS is the septagon, of course.) In addition to the... goings-on... S!Kaitlyn is also extremely taboo, because she is coloured. That's, like, hugely forbidden in Flatland, but S!Kaitlyn heeds no rules.

Off to the right, we have a Flatlander's eye-view of the... goings-on... as seen by someone coming in through the women's door on the east side. As you can see, I put rather too much thought into this...

(Now, what I can't decide... is it against the DeviantArt T&Cs to upload this without a Mature Content warning, or to upload it with one...?)

hS

Finally, finals are over, and I actually managed to finish this monster of a piece. I really bit off more than I could chew here. Anyways here is a group shot of the Threat Countermeasures Team 6 a.k.a. "Death Seekers" (I need a better squad nickname). Short profiles are below.



The International Human Security Federation Special Operations Unit, Advanced Engagement Force, Threat Countermeasures Team 6
Specialization: Advanced Combat, Direct Action, Combat Support
Other Duties: HVT, Counter terrorism, Counter invasion

From the top left counterclockwise:
Name: Faye Linwood
Effective Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
Overall Magic Rating: A2-
Tell: Glowing eyes

Name: Shinonome Azusa/ Aria Blackwind
Effective Rank: Captain
Overall Magic Rating: B1+
Tell: Glowing Mark on her arm

Name: Saros Dawnblade (I changed his name from the previous drawing)
Effective Rank: Colonel
Overall Magic Rating: A1+
Tell: Flaring right eye

Name: Zhao Baiying/ Lyra Hawthorne
Effective Rank: Captain
Overall Magic Rating: B1
Tell: Glowing crosshairs in left eye

Name: Shinonome Tsubaki/ Aster Blackwind
Effective Rank: Lieutenant
Overall Magic Rating: B2+
Tell: Glowing eyes

Name: Shinonome Kaede/ Aspen Blackwind
Effective Rank: Lieutenant
Overall Magic Rating: B1
Tell: none

Name: Ye Heiwu/ Skyler Stormhall
Effective Rank: Lieutenant
Overall Magic Rating: A3-
Tell: Glowing eyes

I put two names for some of them because I couldn't decide if i should homogenize the names or not. I would greatly appreciate some opinions on the matter.

"The Jennotari were slaves once. Designed as such, in fact. Their creators, the Scaesh, built them to be cogitators - biological computers to act as pilots for their starships, guiding their great vessels across the void with micron precision. Their species grew ever more familiar with the universe, but could never reach out and touch it; their bulk was such that the gravity of a world would cause them to collapse in on themselves, and that was how the Scaesh disposed of them when the poor travellers had outlived their usefulness. It was as much a warning and a threat as anything else; stay in line or be cast out to bleed and break.

"With most races, that would be the end of it - bio-slaves dissolved when the empires that made them fell and disappeared into memory. Not so with these. The Scaesh built things to last, and their orbital habitats around worlds and suns are rightly famous. But their technology could not save them, in the end, from hubris; they abandoned physical bodies to live in cyberspaces of their own creation, and once the last had done so, the Jennotari found themselves with no more masters, save the congregations in their long, wide memories. The gravity on the habitats was recalibrated, and as the Scaesh died, the Jennotari were reborn. They designed much about themselves after that, engineering complex filter-feeding systems that allowed them to sap moisture and nutrients from the air, the waters, and the land around them with every step. They developed art and culture, and they slowly designed gravitic compensators - like the inertial dampers on a conventional warp drive - so that they could walk on the surfaces of planets and honour the long-lost in their own way.

"They are tender giants, ancient and ever-living, wandering vagrants and gentle protectors. They will not be roused to violence by anything save slavers, but should a slavemaster come to a Jennotari world, they will not leave it. That is their mission now, now that their masters are dead and gone, now that the Scaesh worlds themselves are relics. They live, and love, and are free."

-- Ceemeh N'gra Ceshospa, asteroid miner and slave-freer.

The hands have improved a lot, but I think the hand of the second pathologist needs a bit of adjusting. At this angle, it looks like she broke all her fingers on her left hand. Otherwise, the picture is quite well done.

I'll go back and take a look at the transition between the RC and entering the fic. :)

Running thoughts:
- Ok, this is starting with a dream sequence. Is that going to be significant? Of course it is.
- Elanor still getting used to the console makes sense
- Transitioning from going to the Nursery to "in the fic" seemed a bit abrupt. It felt like I was missing a scene there.
- Heh. The CAD is in danger of exploding right at the start. That must be a bad fic.
- Zeb/Jacques confirmed? Fuzzy gay blue upbeat Pokemon
- Ok, the fic is bad and makes no sense, the agents snark at it, I get a sense of what's going on without having to read the whole darn thing, as expected
- Right. I'd completely forgotten about the thing with the thread. I like the callback here because it keeps the character arc going.
- I hope Zeb doesn't get too existential-crisisy about that thread. It sort of looks like he's headed that way for a moment there.
- I'm liking the several instances of "I'm glad that wasn't taken literally." It means we can get the literal interpretation without having it actually happen, which would be pretty dark for a bunch of these.
- 'Misrepresenting mental health issues' definitely has a place on the list
- One of the Fates looking at the agents and rolling their eyes is a nice touch
- Ok, that moment of vague sadness seems to be extended. passes Zeb some Poffins
- Ave, why'd you volunteer to field test something?
- I like the thing with the betting pool. That was funny.
- Awwww, the sunset thing is cute
- And I expect an Elanor vacation interlude several years from now
- “You’d think we’d be better at not letting this keep ****ing happening to us" was a good joke at your own spin-off's expense
- I like the effects of mixing the books and the movies
- Near-unison "charge" makes makes sense as a reaction to the minotaur thing
- The lighthouse was a neat bit of interpretation
- The Sue and Percy being in the same space is a nice complication. Pulling them apart makes sense as a resolution.
- That ending ... Ave is going to pay for that line later, isn't she?

General thoughts:
This was a very mision-y mission. It followed the fic rather closely and mainly snarked at it, but it had enough inter-agent interaction to make it not be a slog through the fic or a MST or anything, even though it might've been somewhere near-ish that line.

I like that, despite being a rather typical mission, it didn't feel particularly typical or stare.

The self-reference, including making jokes about your own typical scenes and the whole thing with the thread, is nice. It makes it feel like the story fits into a longer arc.

So, overall, one minor complaint, but it was pretty good otherwise.

- Tomash

The code is here and I happen to like it. It's a nice implementation of the exercise with not much in the way of nasty hacks (the grid is sparse because of course it is, and I used C = R^2, but that's notational convenience)

- Tomash

I'm gonna start by saying that I really liked the film, just as much on the second viewing as the first. I'm terrible at ranking things, so I can't say whether it was 'the best', but I thought it was very good.

Is that enough to blot out spoilers? Ehh, probably. So: spoilers ahead!

Porgs: I was surprised they were as big a thing as they were, and I'm going to agree with you that they exist to sell toys. But! They're also adonkable. ^^

I think you've misunderstood what happened to Leia: at no point was she dead. She got thrown out into space, then used the Force to pull herself back. She then went into a coma, because, y'know, vacuum exposure. But she was never dead.

The Rey-Ben 'linking' thing is obviously playing off the moment at the end of Empire where Luke reaches out to Leia - I think it was even framed the same way, with them appearing on opposite sides of the screen. It's definitely new; one assumes it's an esoteric Force technique from wherever Snoke's background is. The EU had more than enough of those (green Force lightning, anyone?).

The astral projection, though... well, I suppose Obi-Wan could have used it, but since it apparently results in death shortly after, I can't imagine it was worthwhile? The prequels also established that returning as a Force ghost is a technique that was only (re?)discovered recently, so this might be an offshoot of that. I don't think it's unreasonable as a power - heck, given that Luke never actually made physical contact with Kylo (he just dodges with his saber), it's actually the same thing as what Snoke did.

Incidentally, does anyone else think that Luke projected himself to Tatooine in his final moments? I'm not entirely sure Ahch-To has two suns, and there was definite heat-haze in front of that sunset.

Coming now to Luke's characterisation... I don't think he did create the map for people to find him. We just rewatched Force Awakens, and the impression I got was that it was his research. The Empire had the larger part, which Luke and Artoo got hold of at some point; Luke then did his own investigations to finish off the last piece. He probably tried to destroy the 'missing piece', but didn't quite pull it off - hence the hunt for it before the sequels began.

So, to his character: Luke is a terrible teacher, y'know that? I mean, we always knew it, but... seriously, just awful. Ahem.

What was Luke's motivation in the original trilogy? To save his friends first, and second, to become a Jedi. Afterwards, that last seems to have turned into 'restore the Jedi'. And how did he do?

Well, on the one hand, his friends were 'safe': the galaxy was at peace. But on the other hand... by failing Ben Solo, he managed to comprehensively fail both of those aims. His bid to restore the Jedi had failed utterly: his students were either dead or evil. Some of those students were probably his friends (in the EU, he had several who were older than him). But moreover, he had failed both Han and Leia, by letting their son fall to the Dark Side. Heck, Force Awakens implies that's what broke up their marriage.

Luke 'the Last Jedi' suggests that's when he gave up, but I don't think that's true. He went looking for (and found!) the first Jedi temple, with the ancient texts that were there. You can imagine how eagerly he read them, and what do you think he found?

Nothing. No teaching guides; no hints as to where he went wrong; no guide to rescuing students from the Dark Side. Just vague philosophising and moralistic rambles. It's significant that Luke refers to them as being part of the 'Jedi religion'. Not science, not skill, not even order - religion. One he can no longer believe.

He cuts himself off from the Force. He meditates. He tries to communicate with the native creatures of the island. He probably clambers into the Dark Cave and gets shown something useless in the mirror (he seems to know a fair bit about it, after all). But nothing he does gives him any answers, and he just gets more and more bitter.

Then Rey shows up, with some whingy story about the Resistance being in trouble. How much does she actually say? I don't remember it being much, just 'Leia wants you to come back, everything's terrible'. Which, yeah, Leia always wanted him to come back, but how can he face her after what he did...?

What Rey definitely doesn't say - because she doesn't know - is that Leia is about to die. So far as she knows, the Resistance is safely away, untrackable at light-speed. Her message is 'if you come back, we can take the fight to the enemy' - not 'you're my only hope'.

I'm not sure of the timeline of the ending, but if I've got it right, it goes like this:

-Artoo guilts Luke into caring.
-Luke contacts Leia, a) helping her heal, and b) finding out how bad things actually are.
-Luke goes to Rey - only to find her making out with the enemy (yeah, yeah, whatever).
-Rey turns on him and leaves.
-Luke sees the complete failure of the Jedi. He's failed twice at training them (he probably thinks Rey is off to join Kylo at this point), and the whole 'goodness and light' thing is apparently gone in the galaxy.
-Feeling utterly betrayed by the Jedi Order, he goes to burn the tree.
-Yoda!
-Luke prepares himself for a massive feat of Force-projection, perhaps under Yoda's guidance, and for his own inevitable death.
-He projects himself to Crait, and we know the rest.

I don't see anything inconsistent in that timeline, or in Luke's character. As to why he didn't fly out to Crait in person... well, his X-wing is completely dead (apparently he's scavenged hull plating for his door), and the Falcon just flew off. He can't get to Crait... except through the Force.

Jumping now to Kylo: I think his arc is probably the (a) core of the trilogy. He started out by wanting to live up to his grandfather; in this film he discovered (as did sooooo many other people) that it's not who you are, but who you can become. By rejecting being like Vader, he became his own person - but who that person is will only unfold in Episode IX.

Random thoughts:

-I see no reason to doubt that Rey's parents were nobody, but equally, her connection to the island was referred to too much for that to be all there is to it.

-The words 'the last Jedi' appear in both dialogue and the title crawl of Force Awakens. Is the title of Episode IX in the crawl for LJ?

-I'm pretty sure this film marks the first time in Star Wars history that a starship has run out of fuel - and the first time that a protagonist's reckless plan has not only failed, but also backfired horrifically. I approve. ^^

hS

(Post gets more spoilery as it goes.)

There were a lot of moments that were really awesome, but there were also a lot of moments that left me confused or just felt like blatant manipulation, telling me how to feel. All storytelling is manipulation, but I shouldn't be aware that it's happening. {= P

Part of the problem is that the characters don't feel fully realized to me, and I've had this problem with pretty much everything J.J. Abrams has touched that I'm aware of. (So, Star Wars and Star Trek. >.> ) The film moves along at such a clip that we don't get to spend a lot of time just being with these people, seeing them be themselves. We never get a scene like the one on the Falcon in A New Hope, with Obi-Wan teaching Luke how to use the lightsaber, discussing the Force, with Han Solo commenting in the background. It's a beautiful, quiet scene that shows us who these people are in their hearts: brash, headstrong Luke, philosophical Obi-Wan, and pragmatic Han. It also gives us more information about the Force, which we need at that point. It stays precisely as long as it needs to to get the job done, and the story moves forward.

There were times that really tried to happen in this one. I liked the scenes between Rey and Kylo, though I would have liked to see them sharing the screen more. I think I understand why they did it they way they did, but not seeing the actors playing off each other, if they even did, takes something away from them. I spent a lot of time thinking about whether Adam Driver's voice really sounds like that and the perpetual mournful look in his eyes. What's up with that? Does he really feel that way, or is it all part of manipulating Rey? I'unno.

But, for the most part, it felt to me like everyone was doing things because they were supposed to, because that's their trope and/or the plot says so. Poe in particular says to me, "I am this trilogy's headstrong hotshot, therefore I must doubt my superiors and rebel against them at all times." If there was anything in the previous movie to show us why, I don't remember it.

I think Finn and Rose would've been better if they hadn't been used for the worst plan ever, which brings me to my second major issue: the logic and coherence of the plot. It was... lacking. In this instance, I'm pretty sure it takes time to travel through space even at light-speed. Why in the galaxy did the writers decide it was a good idea to make these characters leave the fleet, which is (IIRC) in the middle of nowhere, fleeing for its life and perilously low on resources, to go jaunting off to some other planet god knows how far away, to go hunting for some guy who may or may not help them assuming they can even find him in the first place? This is a terrible plan, and it makes the plight of the fleet feel cheaper, and dragging in another new character to fix the problem takes away the chance for the ones we already have to do something awesome themselves. I'd have liked the combination of Rose's technical expertise and Finn's familiarity with the Empire's systems to save the day. The point about people profiting off both sides of war just felt shoehorned in, too.

Not that I didn't grin a whole lot at the scene where they saved the moose-dog-horses. ... Though, I kept thinking to myself, you know they're just going to get rounded up again, and probably beaten for their trouble, so even that was pretty pointless. {= (

I don't have a problem with the new demonstrations of the Force. We've seen Force-users sense each other's presence plenty of times before, so extending that awareness to conversation seems logical. The astral projection seems to fit in with the existence of Force ghosts, and as to why it's not done more? It seems as though the effort killed Luke. So that's a pretty good reason.

I don't think Leia was dead in space. I think she was on the brink, and at the last moment regained consciousness enough to draw herself to the ship. Or the ship to her? It doesn't matter. This isn't a new power; it's a pretty standard one. And the combination of exposure and exertion clearly cost her. I was cool with it.

That said, though, a lot of the scenes with Leia felt like blatant emotional manipulation. I know, Carrie Fisher is gone and it's sad, but just giving us Leia being awesome would've been a fine tribute. No need to beat us over the head with the fact of her loss.

Let's see, what else... Oh, I liked Snoke once we met him, and I think his character was badly under-served. Comparing to the original trilogy again, they failed to effectively build him up as the Emperor was built up before we finally met him. The Emperor was kept in shadow until he came on the scene. We only really knew him through the respect and deference showed to him by Darth Vader. This was powerful because Darth Vader himself is respected and feared, a man who operates under his own set of rules and bows to no one—except this guy. Scary!

Snoke didn't get that. We don't particularly respect Kylo the wimpy Vader-wannabe in the first movie, and he doesn't particularly respect Snoke, either. The only mystery about this character is exactly how he worked his way into Kylo's head in the first place, and this is only made more confusing by what we learn of the story in this movie. Kylo was under Luke's care, with several other students. How did Snoke approach him? What did he say or do that was so compelling? Were we ever shown or told this? I don't know, and it's too bad, because he was a nicely charismatic bad guy. Too bad he never did anything.

I feel like I'm coming down on the negative side of this, and maybe I am. I'm not sure yet. I'll probably need another viewing or two, after rewatching The Force Awakens for context.

~Neshomeh

At least partly. I don't know how much they used the animatronics vs. CGI, but here, check it out: https://www.youtube.com/embed/SJNfysZRmf4

That is an amazing animatronic. O.O

~Neshomeh

***SPOILER TAG***








So my thoughts, are kind of in opposition to both of yours. This was one of my least favorite of the series. One of the biggest reasons my opinion is low is this was the first of the three Disney Star Wars that felt like a Disney film.

There was way too much humor that did not really serve a purpose to me. The first scene with Rey and Luke for instance. And the porgs. I hated those things. I understand they were in it for the specific reason that the island that served as Luke's refuge was a puffin preserve and it was easier to CG over the puffins than to remove them. But the Porg in the Falcon irritated me to no end, and the Puppy-Dog Eyes one. They would have been fine in the background if they were kept there. But to me they seem like an obvious marketing ploy to sell plush toys.

I also did not like Super-Leia. The Force being able to reverse death by vacuum and save yourself. That seemed a bit ridiculous. Which brings me to another thing I was not a fan of. New Force Powers, the bond Snoke created and more importantly the Astral Projection nonsense. That's a gamebreaker, and if such a thing existed, why did someone like Yoda or Obi-wan never use it in the previous films? I think the scene would have had way more impact with Luke's physical presence.

Which brings me to my final critic. Luke's characterization. I'm going into exile, but let me create this map so you can find me if you need me. You found me and need my help? Buzz off. I mean this was a man who was willing to surrender himself to Vader to be brought to the Emperor because he thought Vader had good in him and he did not want to put other at risk. Who undertook a risky mission to confront Vader to save his friends. I could understand a personality change or alteration (especially if they gave us more of Kylo Ren's fall to the darkside), but to me this felt more like a very OOC Luke.

On the plus side, I did like the development Rey had, and I like the way here character is progressing. I also liked Kylo Ren in this movie far more than I did in Force Awakens. He now feels like the villain he was supposed to be. And it does make him a much more interesting character than Vader-wannabe.

I do plan on watching it again, after I have rewatched the entire Saga to better contextualize it to see if I like it better.

I like that Spensor is an Autobot with terrible combat skills and a silly transformed form. Those facts, as well as his personality and speaking mannerisms, makes for a funny contrast with the canon. Phil doesn't make quite as much of an impression, but I suspect that was your intent in making him the "straight man" against the silly robot. The behavior of both characters syncs up pretty well with what I expected from their bios.

I like your use of different music preference to highlight the differences between the agents before they actually appear side-by-side in a scene. I also liked the bizarre "solution" to the mysterious RC door, and the weird, counter-intuitive HQ physics that follow from it.

And now, the typo parade!
" . . . actually a transforming alien robot that’s just a few million years you’re senior.

"'...They did not tell me it was going to be you.' the agent replied, sheepishly.
The dialogue should end in a comma rather than a period, since the phrase that follows is a dialogue tag attached to it.

"that last part was said under his breath . . ."

"'. . . this one doesn’t follow the order of the previous of following ones.'"

“Every single other RC we’ve tried today wasn’t unlocked, so why this one?”
Considering RCs are private residences of agents, walking around and trying all the door handles without knocking seems like a terrible idea.

he passed his arm through.

"'...You let’s scram before anything freaky happens.'"
(I assume that was meant to be "yo.")

—doctorlit and many bold tags

The monsoon hit especially hard this year. Simon's eyes are staring into the sky, populated with racing water droplets agitated beyond it's airbone size limit by the dusts and crystals high up in the atmosphere.

The rains hit the zinc roofs with thunderous clatter. Young children are scared and cling to Simon for heat and comfort, but Simon can only feel a calming drowsiness.

"Abang! Abang!" Simon is jolted.

"What, budak?"

"Abang, I'm bored."

Forming his right hand into a claw, Simon clasps his brother's head lightly and rock it back and forth slightly. "Can't you see I am daydreaming, Damian?"

The boy chuckles as his head bobbed around. "Abang, I want to play computer."

"Father says not to, if lightning hits electronics, it will ruin them."

"Can I play your handphone please? Please, please, please?"

Simon sighs. The phone is at 80%. "Alright, wait." He moves his thumb, swiping the screen windows one way and other. After deleting his browsing history, he hands the phone over.

"Tonight, do homework you understand. Don't make Mom take away my handphone. If she does, I am going to eat all your cakes."

Damian shrieks in 'horror', then runs away to play Angry Birds.

After a few hours, the rain slows down to a drizzle. It is afternoon, and Simon grunts as he rises from the sofa. Damian is already asleep, the phone placed safely on his study table. Damian opens Whatsapp. His fingers taps the phone screen lightly, measuring his words.

"Celestine, what you doing?"

"Why? Wanna dating, issit?"

"No, just checking bah!"

"Bah, don't just check only, visitlah some time!"

"Your bapa' so scary, looks like eating people."

"Your fault, you don't bring him durian!"

"Where got durian this year? Next year then durian season."

"Ahahahahah, durian cheesecake also OK mah."

"Oh bah. Later this week no rain, I come yah."

"Arright, later I come, wear nice-nice."

"Ok. Eh, I wanna work now. My brother sick, can't wash plates."

"Babai."

"Babai."

Damian smiles as he opens the app for Maybank. He looks at the amount in his bank. RM 30 000. Hopefully Celestine's father isn't the type to do grand weddings and hosts a thousand relatives, friends, and clients.

This is it. He will propose this week.

Here, have some free NM&NMs. I hear they're delicious. :P

Here, have a triple chocolate (chocolate with chocolate chips and chocolate icing) cupcake! Don't forget to blow out the candles and make a wish!