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She couldn't go see Frollo and feed him turkey and pecan pie waah[insert a whole parade of exclamation marks here]

Yes, for the first time, we have two releases today which both still exist! Both J&A and their first great follower released missions today (or, for those just tuning in: today exactly 20 years ago. Welcome to PPC+20!)

Protectors of the Plot Continuum: Sisterhood by Jay & Acacia

"It's a Code Eighteen. Is that a fluke?" Oh yeah, I remember this mission very well. :D And yes, to my amusement and despair, I can confirm that one of the Suvians is indeed an elf from the sky: we have an MST of the first two chapters of the badfic, from which I've put the original text back together.

It sounds like the reviews to TOS were a fun place to be! There's other spinoffs in there (which naturally we now know nothing about -_-), poems, target suggestions - Jay and Acacia were really interacting with their readers, it's great. I'm sure nothing bad would ever come of it!

&

Intelligence Briefs for the PPC: Time Will Tell by Architeuthis

In which the Cafeteria puts in a triumphant appearance, and Archi's conclusions on her target are not quite what we've come to expect. I think the badfic is long gone though.

hS

Weigh-hey and up she rises!))

• The beginning, including what Moria's up to and the bits about doughnuts and instant noodles, are very nice setup!
• I wonder if Moira does actually need to talk to someone. (Update: she probably does)
• Autumn has a point about Blank not needing to go alone.
• Mellon is a cute crow.
• I like Blank and Autumn's relationship.
• Poor Mellon, having to stay behind.
• Apostrophe catastrophe. Heh.
• Neat description of Snape's flickering face.
• "Not Rose" ... you have a point
• Moira is right - there could be an interesting premise there
• I like what a story being abandoned for a long time does to the world
• ... and the bit with Monky
• The unformatted chapter is an oof
• The scene with the orc line is an understandable reaction we don't see too often
• And I liked the attempt to help and the kill scene
• ... I was not expecting Buddy to be a thing

Overall, this was a really nice take on a PPC mission with some neat stuff I haven't seen before (that I can remember)! I enjoyed reading

• Tomash

There's a story here. (No, not the badfic; how I found the badfic.) I was poking around the Wayback Machine capture of an old archive called Brain-Insane to see if I could find the actual publication date of "Subjugation," because it's older than I thought and it was hosted there. I didn't find the original date, but I've added the information I did get to the wiki.

Along the way, I noticed that the site had fic for lots of fandoms besides Harry Potter, and I couldn't resist taking a look. There was a section for Farscape! It's one of my top favorite fandoms, and it's relatively obscure. The fic tends to be mediocre to good thanks to a mature, intelligent fanbase, for which I am grateful.

But I can't say I don't want to write a mission for it.

Now, it's important to note that Brain-Insane was a dedicated Mpreg site, and Farscape is a continuum where it wouldn't be too hard to pull it off. I mean, there's an alien species whose females look like human males. Regrettably played for laughs and a bit of "no homo," but still. A male-bodied person getting pregnant wouldn't have been out of place on the show. (Maybe if they hadn't been unjustly cancelled, grumblemutter...) There was every chance I could have found goodfic.

There was only one fic. It is not good.

"Julon Crion" gets off to a failtastic start with the character assassination of Aeryn Sun. I confess I do not understand exactly what her deal is, because the plot is so disjointed, but I guess she decided to betray Moya's crew, be a Peacekeeper again, and also frell Scorpius under the crew's noses? IDEK. John, instead of doing the in-character thing and assume that Scorpius is behind it and come up with a terrible plan to get the Aeryn he knows back, decides that he's just going to give up on everything and jump ship at the next space port. This is supposed to be between him and Pilot, but Chiana overhears, so of course everyone finds out. (The author gets points for remembering that Pilot exists, but loses most of them for forgetting he's intelligent and sassy and very done with everyone's BS at this point in the show.)

There's a lot of confusing scenes where I'm not entirely sure why anyone is doing anything, but long story short, Chiana begs John not to leave, he says he needs time to think about it, and they leave him alone on this commerce planet for three days. Chiana, D'Argo, and Rygel eventually kick Aeryn and Scorpius off the ship, but not Sikozu, even though they can't seem to make up their minds about whether she's working for Scorpius and if they want to trust her or not. I really have no idea, it's that hard to follow.

Meanwhile, John goes to a bar and orders a particular drink, which Chiana had told him is a signal to any watching Nebari that you're interested in hooking up with a Nebari. He is surprised when a Nebari man starts hitting on him. Apparently badfic!John isn't as genre-savvy as canon!John. So, yeah, the completely predictable sex happens. The sex is poorly written; John's consent is dubious (his second drink is an aphrodisiac drug; he wanted a buzz) and both men are described as being in actual pain, yet the fic treats this as perfectly fine. They shag for three. whole. days. And then it gets weird.

It's not weird that John ends up pregnant; we knew Mpreg was coming. I even give the fic props for leaning into the horror aspect of a cis man's body suddenly behaving strangely and him being terrified.

What's weird is that John isn't suffering because he's pregnant; he's suffering because he's getting turned into a Nebari. I don't know why this happens. The crew take him to a doctor who specializes in xenobiology, and there's some technobabble about a virus inserting alien DNA into his normal DNA, and it's already done its work by they time they get there... But, the thing is, no one in the Uncharted Territories has ever seen a Human before. They recognize the Nebari DNA that got in there... somehow... but not the Human DNA. They assume the Nebari DNA is correct, and finish the job of making John look like a Nebari. This would almost be a good plot twist if anyone had stopped for one moment to acknowledge that this doctor had no way of knowing the strange Human DNA wasn't foreign, but they don't. Sigh.

The fact that John is pregnant is tacked on as an afterthought. The fact that the baby isn't genetically related to him at all, but somehow a fusion of the rando Nebari guy from the bar and BY THE WAY a different Nebari guy from an episode two seasons ago who apparently had his way with John between scenes, is treated as some sort of fantastic medical miracle. John is described as "genetic glue" (and then he has to explain what "glue" is because apparently that concept is too complicated for the translator microbes). Glue between two species. Even though the child is pure Nebari. Or is she part alien? I don't know! The fic says both things!

I just... I. What. How. WHAT??

Also, everyone insists that Chiana is its mother, even though she had nothing to do with it and is on record as not liking kids. ("Frelling narls," I believe is a quote.) I don't even.

Pretty much everyone is noticeably OOC at this point, with both John and Chiana being weepy and useless and everyone else being inconsistent at best, idiotic at worse. The final nail in the coffin for me? Braca isn't loyal to Scorpius. Scorpius has him killed. Now, I don't know exactly what Scorpy is up to in this fic, but there's one thing I DO know, and that is Miklo Braca is always on Scorpius' side, because Scorpius is always on Braca's side—which is to say the side of protecting and preserving the institution of the Peacekeepers and their ideals. It may seem silly for THIS to be the deal-breaker for me, but I'm telling you, it's like asking me to believe 2 + 2 = 5. It doesn't, and it never will, and it's wrong. Wrong, you hear me!

Gah.

I don't know if I'll actually mission this. It's not a "live" fic, and I'm not sure how I feel about sporking something from a dead archive. I mean, on the one hand, it's at least 18 years old; I'm not going to damage the feelings of a beginning author! On the other hand, I dunno, just feels kinda underhanded somehow?

Plus, I'd have to pull some shenanigans to get it in front of my agents who are competent in the fandom, and while I enjoy making Nume and Jenni work together, it's not something I want to have too much of. I could set it back in 2004-2005 when Nume was still partnered with Cameo in Floaters, but I quit writing Cameo because I don't like her and I don't wanna, so that's out. There's Agent Neshomeh c. 2004-2005, too, but she was in the DMS, and there's no Sue here.

I dunno, but I had to talk about it. Maybe that will be enough. {= )

~Neshomeh

Oooooh, I really like the opening scenes here! All those books open and bookmarked really shows all the studying that's been going on, and is a much more dynamic image than just saying the RC has books on the shelves. And the details about what food is easier to prepare between missions, and Autumn both caring for and admonishing Blank after her mission, are such a down-to-earth and domestic look at PPC life that I'm just not used to seeing . . . I really like it! It's so much deeper than the usual "agents are hanging out/sleeping and then a mission happens" that I'm used to! (Food is especially tricky for me to think of in any interactive way like that, because I don't really enjoy eating in RL, and I tend to stick with stuff that heats quickly with little prep time so i can spend more time on fiction and getting ready for work . . . actually, that feels pretty RC life, now that I type it out!)

I love that Moira shows her background as a fic character by sort of trying to fantasy football her way through the mission, trying to edit it into something better as she goes, Nando v. Movies-style. It makes for a great contrast with Blank's more straightforward work ethic, which makes sense for her, since Sparklee never let her enter a story. And best of all, neither approach will be 100% right all the time, even though Blank had the correct diagnosis on this particular story. Speaking of which, your dialogue for Amalthea early on, where she seems to just be making vapid observations, was hilarious, and really had me going along with Moira's desire to avoid assassinating Althea. Once you actually let Althea go full Suvian, she became absolutely terrifying, made even worse by establishing her empty, thoughtless voice tone from earlier. It's interesting that Moira sensed how deeply wrong the world was on multiple occasions, but because of her imagined solidarity with Althea, she ignored her own instincts, only to immediately be turned against the second Althea learned her name and was able to weave it into the narration. As Autumn said, "a perfect teaching moment" indeed!

So, uh, Buddy?!!? What a shock! I love the description of his human body, with all the attributes of crow skin and feathers still recognizable in the new form . . . but like, what? Did he fly into a reality room and win the lottery to go more human than crow? Or was he something like Beorn all along, with a crow form rather than bear? (Feel free to ignore if you're answering these in a later story; I just like to speculate!)

And a couple minor things I liked: I love the C-Cad scanning the canon itself and giving a phone app-style forecast. And you found the perfect mini, and you wrote her perfectly. That is all.

—doctorlit thinks the "unicorn fiasco" is that Quirrell-Voldemort goes into the Forbidden Forest to drink that unicorn blood, but the unicorns are like, "Yo, most of the magic is sucked out of the universe for some reason, we don't have to take this crap from these dark wizards." So they all go marching through the forest singing a beautiful, acapella rendition of Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It" until they find Quirrell-Voldemort, and they just shank them. Shank them with all their horns. And then later the Hogwarts staff get the body to the hospital wing, and Madame Pomfrey is just like, "This is a weird tumor, on the back of Quirrell's head. Guys? Guys, come look at this exceedingly weird tumor. Is that not just the weirdest tumor you've ever seen?" And the scar doesn't pain Harry for blah blah years, all is well, etc.

Now that the "tim machine" was gone, there was no way she could get out of there and go see Her Man Claude Frollo.

"And huz Soron?"

((In My Immortal, they're called "Death Deelers".))

She glanced over at Danisha.

It didn't work.

in which case I'm still not in league with him. Do I look like a Death Eater?" she said, rolling up the sleeves of her long black shirt. On her right arm was writing in some language which definitely wasn't English.

((Never mind how she knows what those are now.))

Ebony said. "Dats y!"

((Ugh. SPaG is HORRIBLE here.))

You haven't done too much besides holler at me, which is not enough reason to kill anyone."

(Which makes me think of Sues as Pokémon. Gotta charge ‘em all!)

....But I’ll do so anyway.

When the current RP subthread starts to get crunched at the the side of the screen, restart with a reply to the original post instead of starting a whole new thread. For example, in the 2017 Halloween RP, we reset with replies to this post like four times.

Actually, you might want to continue the RP on the Roleplay Board if it's still going strong at that point, so we can still read the rest of the main Board. {= )

~Neshomeh

and throwing it at you? That would be a strange death to die."

(Well, compared to Ebony)

What kind of world had she fallen into? Was everyone this insane?

I loved the opening - I actually read it aloud to Kaitlyn - and everything with Autumn was adorable. I totally feel for Moira in her desire to say that it could be decent, done properly - Agent Kaitlyn would agree! (But equally, I enjoy the payoff in the finale - very well played.)

I also really enjoy the point you (/Blank) made about Bellatrix's knife and Gryffindor's Sword. I don't think I've seen a mission make a plot point out of the limited nature of canon resources before; it's nice, interesting.

And thanks for the hat-tip at the top! I don't actually remember translating the names, but the style screams 2020s-Huinesoron, so I believe it. ^_^

I'm so glad you came back. :) Happy ReBoardiversary, and a jolly merry birthday!

hS

((Warning: Bl:1)) "its bcoz u try 2 act goff but really ur just a poser!111" She then started "Every1 is in luv wif me y is my life so hard? Why the [deleted] am I so beautiful?"