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Idk how many times im gonna have to say this but NUMIE IS NOT GAY!! OMG HE BELONGS WITH ME

I HATE YOUR STORY

U SUK!!!!11

"Greetings, little servant. Thou hast strayed from your god, I see. Will thou not be joining her in performing for the mortals?"

((I know absolutely nothing about Miraculous Ladybug, so if I'm getting anything wrong, let me know, and I'll edit!))

((And sorry for the long response time; had a bunch of computer work to do for the zoo last night.))

—doctorlit

[[Edited to correct "Miraculous" to "kwami" in the subject line.]]

A small, dark shape made its way through the maze of props, almost invisible in the gloom. It flitted back and forth over the props, one second stilled in contemplation and the next in motion. When it passed through patches of better lighting that managed to reach through the precariously placed props, flashes of red drew the eye of anyone watching close enough, perhaps enough to make out the shape of a bird's plumed tail..

As another god joined the growing gathering, Pommi metaphorically stumbled across Tash and, since it was polite, greeted her.

"Hello, Tash,"

---

I figured the conversation would be interesting. :3

What no this isn't me off handedly mentioning Lady Kee'ra because I didn't know how to add her to the other thread in case anyone wanted to converse with her.

I mean, if someone wants to address Lady Kee'ra in the other thread, they can.

~Silv, glad she found a way to contribute to the rp again

Her eyes flitted briefly over all the equipment, never giving anything a second glance. Toys and props were not what she needed. Tash needed a display of the power that was truly within her. She needed—

The voices of her colleagues drifted in from beyond the curtains. She turned her head to listen, but was immediately distracted by what she saw at the edge of the stage. She stepped forward, slowly, deliberately, listening to the winds she could feel whispering inside, the grains collected from many strange deserts on many strange worlds. She stooped down and picked up one of the simple sandbags from the pile, hearing the sand shifting inside. "Yes . . ." she hissed to herself, as she lifted her other hand. She coaxed, and a bit of sand flowed from the cinched top and into the air, into the shape of a delicate butterfly, so thin that one could see straight through it. Tash moved her fingers and puppeted the sand butterfly around herself in a circle, making it flap its wings like the real thing. She made it soar up into the air, higher and higher, straining to reach the spotlight rafters above.

Before the butterfly could reach that far, Tash turned her hand upside down and drew her fingers downwards. The butterfly twitched for a moment, then began to drop, wings beating feebly, uselessly, against the air. Its wings became ragged as sand began to drift away from the form, and fell off completely midway down. By the time it reached the floor, it was as individual grains, all shape lost.

Tash hoisted herself up on a convenient barrel and stared out into the shadows. She was content to wait.

~ ~ ~

Hope no one minds me starting another thread here? Couldn't think of another way to get Tash into the scene. Anyone else can feel free to come across her and talk!

—doctorlit, a power converter at Tash-y station

Heya!

I've been working on a short story for the last couple weeks, and I'd love to get some fresh perspectives on it: I'm at the stage of making sure I've explained things enough that the ending makes sense, and I'm much too familiar with the story and the concepts beneath it to see it with fresh eyes. So, I'm asking a few of you smart writerly types for one read-through and a discussion / couple questions after.

I'm not at the point of wanting copy editing, I've made a couple passes there already and now I want to make sure I have the right paragraphs before I worry more about having the right words.

The story's an urban fantasy with strong speculative themes: a big part of the story is working out what the story's about, beyond the existence of magic as a whole. Content warning for fire imagery, self-inflicted injury, mention of suicide. Death and violence are the problem, not the solution, in the narrative. Previous readers have described it as "delicious" and "this feels like something big that I’m only seeing the tip of" and "a real throwing knife of a story."

You know the drill. Toss me a line via email ( skysdottir@gmail.com ) or Discord ( Delta#1353 ), and I will send links and my gratitude!

The bestpart is defiantly the danggangromper sue!!

((And now that I have more organized thoughts - I absolutely despise that you managed to have Liz's character voice still come through the nonsense as well as you did, how dare you know me so well.

:p

~Silv, trying out this way of signing off))

(Louee’s Note: Hi guys its me, Looee Carololol from last yeear! A few people said I need to get better so I got my older sibling Carol to help me read over it! I asked them over and over and they finally said t’s be read! so hopefully it;s ll be SO much pbetter! Thank you for reading this and I hope you like it!”)

(Carol’s Note: help)

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-=-=-+-(+-----

Charlie sat on the flor, their tail in the ir lap, reading a book. They were alone, because their old partner was in FixSike for religous reasons. Then the door opensd and a cool siloet filled the door!

It was a cute loking gurl with sky blue eyes ice wolf eyes and a tail and paws. Ine eye was dark blue like a wolf’s while the other was pitch black like a pearl. Her skin was also a healthy shad of whiteish-blue, and her human ears looked lke frozen cristals.

She was beutiful, charlie thought. Then s(he? I dunno i don’t wanna look it up) smiled and waved.

“Oh, hello there, mate. Who’re you?”

The newcomer crinned. “Oh hii~ didn’t see you there, uffufufu.”

Carlie blinked. “Pardon?”

The newcomer blinked. “Ohh. did I come off too strong? Sooorry. Anyways, I;m Tia!” she chuckled cutely. She walked over to the console box with the button thingy and pressed the button. “Oh-woooah, what’s this?”

“no” the console said

Tia stares at the console for a moment, then hits it really hard.

“oof” said the console.

The screen flashed with a mission, because it was MISSOIN TIME!

“It’s mission tiem!” said tia grinning.

“Um, well, alright, then,” Charlie moued.

YAY!” Tia screamed, grabbing charlie ina headlock and givine hshe a noogie, before draggin them threw the portal. “Wait what about disguises?,” Charlie said. “Dont worry we don;t need them!” tia said confidently.

“Oh gods please help” Charlie muttered

“Whee heeee!” tia smirked, before looking around at the small alley they landed in. “ this’ll be SUCHa fUN mision!”

“what communism even is this,” charlie said/

“twikimds!” Tia said helpfully.

“I’m sorry what?”

“C’mon, baka, get with the progrem!” tia wagged her ice wolf tail. “Anyways, we gotta look for the sue!”

“couldnt’ we just look at the wOrds for that-” Charlie started, but hishe was cutoff.

“lets a GO!” tia screamed, and grabbing charlie’s by the tail, she, ran out of the alley to find the Sue.

END OF CHAPTER ONE

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-=+-+--++_+-+-

AUTOR NOTE: thanks Forreaeding! I hope you rlidlked this and I hope this gets the LUV it deserves i worked SO HARD on this!!!!!!

__

((actual author’s note: here we go))

A/N: Here we go--part two!!!

Important—this isn’t canon Dawn!! She’s definitely an AU here. Explanation in the ending a/n. Enjoy!!

1. Clone!Time Agent!Dawn - “Original”

Of all the people Jacques thought he’d ever take up with, a former Time Agent was not even on the list.

“I’m actually a clone,” Dawn explained sadly one night. They were curled up together in the Room of Requirement, on a mission together. “I’m kind of the expendable one—”

“You are not expendable,” Jacques said firmly, and kissed her, enjoying the way she melted against him. “You’re amazing.”

“That’s my job,” Dawn said chirpily. She sighed and leaned away, reaching for her wrist strap. “Oh, hey, it’s been three hours.”

“Three awesome hours.”

She grinned at him over her shoulder. “Okay, yeah, three awesome hours.” She flopped back down, strapping the vortex manipulator around her wrist. It wasn’t on, apart from the time telling aspect, so Hogwarts’ magical field didn’t affect it. “Anyway. They decided that, since they liked the...other me so much, they’d shell out for a clone. And here I am. I got all the more dangerous missions, you know.”

“More dangerous than ESAS?” Jacques asked.

Dawn shrugged. “Sometimes. Mostly not. I like ESAS better, though,” she added, and curled up against him again. “More freedom, better partners, more interesting locations…”

“I’m a catch,” Jacques said. “Hey, you know what’s funny? I think we’re the only two former Time Agents in HQ.”

“I mean, I ran into three other versions of you last week, but sure,” Dawn said.

Jacques widened his eyes at her. “Three? And you didn’t introduce me?”

“I was distracted! Besides, they didn’t stay too long.”

“Shame,” Jacques said. “Let me know if they come back, alright? I’d love to meet more of me.”

“You’re weird,” Dawn told him. “I’m happy being the only one of me around for a change. I hated always being reminded I wasn’t the original.”

Jacques kissed her soundly, pulling her close and keeping it going until she clung to him. “You’re original to me.”

--

Disclaimer: Jacques and Dawn belong to Zingenmir, who should really do something a bit more like this with them, don't you agree?? So much wasted potential. Anyway, though, the whole concept of AU Time Agent Clone!Dawn is all mine! Ask before using ;)

A/N: It’s a bit short, I know, but isn’t it sweet~? I know, I know, I should’ve put him with canon Dawn, but I’ve done that before (I think? Maybe I didn’t post it? I’ll have to check sometime) and I started wondering what she’d be like in AUs, and then I started thinking about Jacques with a Time Agent, and then my bf told me a lot about the clones in Star Wars, and it just kind of...came together. Sorry if it’s a little bit confusing the first time through—read it through again if it confused you, and I’m sure it’ll seem better :) I’ve added a note at the beginning now, though, so hopefully that helps…Anyway, let me know what you thought!!

~*A_u

((A bit off the wall. I can't quite remember how I got here, to be honest, but it was kind of fun. Also, Star Wars had nothing to do with it, as far as I know.

In an unpublished mission set in late 2013, Jacques and Dawn got into an argument over her phrasing a plan poorly enough to imply he was expendable. (Their communication skills improved eventually.) This is kind of a callback to that, though not really--mostly in the sense that I was thinking about it and it still prompts that scene for me, not because it actually has much of anything to do with that.

~Z, promising that the next installment is...well, it uses all canon characters, at least. In it, we take a trip to the future...))

Not sure what you're talking about; this is my own original fanfic. Glad you enjoyed, though! :) :) :)

I...might have forgotten about the bunk beds, whoops, unless I remembered last year and just didn't write it in and have now forgotten?? Anyway, just imagine that Jacques is being careful not to bump anyone's head!! That or he has spider powers here and just rappelled up to the top bunk with webs. Or Nume was just so distracted he didn't quite take in the idea of the ladder. Whatever works ;) (probs the bottom bunk, lol!)

Yay! Glad you're coming back :) always nice when people are interested!!! Next update should be coming really soon, I hope...

Thanks for reading!

~*A_u

((Whole lot of snrk. The bunk beds thing sounds familiar to me too, but placing it...nope, not working.

As for the next part, hopefully I'll put it up in a few hours or so! ~Z))

((And not to worry--half the point of these is to amuse ;) Actually, most of the point of these is to amuse. The rest probably comes down to thought exercise and, sometimes, getting to write things for your characters (or other people's) that will never happen in canon.

~Z))

Doing so would start dipping into "targeting the author" territory, rather than just critiquing stories. And as we very frequently have to say, we do not target authors here.

Regardless of how you feel about various kinks, kinks are very much a part of fandom culture, and kinks alone aren't enough to make a story bad. Remember that the point of missions is to be amused by the badfic, not grossed out by it. Gross content doesn't necessarily make for a fun/funny mission.

—doctorlit isn't interested in The Simpsons enough to bother reading these

Alright, I can beta your mission now! Would you rather email me or send the link via Discord?

OMG I LOVE IT SO MFUNNY

I'm not complaining. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, am I right? ^_~

One thing, though: you do realize Nume has a bunk bed, right? Not that there aren't ways to make that work, of course, especially with an artist like Jacques involved... Actually, that sounds familiar. Was there a bunk beds ship last year? Or am I thinking of something on some other archive?

Or they could just use Ilraen's scoop. That would probably make the most sense, providing Ilraen is not actually IN said scoop. Maybe even if he is! But I'm a little unclear on that point. A touch of mystery can be exciting, but don't leave TOO much to the imagination, darling.

I'm curious to see where this goes next. I'll be back!

—Lemony

---

What IS it with Nume and all the shameless, oversexed flirts? He's like a moth somehow drawing in flames. {X D

I could almost see this working in a universe where "The Cabin" happened, except that I'm pretty sure Nume would irritate Jacques as much as Jacques would irritate Nume. {; P

Regardless, I am very amused and looking forward to the next parts!

If anyone's wondering, I'm pretty sure the bunk beds ship was from a Boarder Shipfic Fest, not a Badfic Game. I have no idea which one or who was involved, though. Sorry.

~Neshomeh may not have time/brainpower to write anything this year due to properly starting a new job next week, but will see what she can do.

I'd like these to be PPC'd, but I didn't do it on the wiki, because A.) I'm talking about an author's work as a whole, not a single fanfic, and B.) Someone sort of implied I was complaining about grossness too much on the Wiki, so I'm trying to cut off.

It's a woman named Hailey, and her user page on the Pit is [[https://www.fanfiction.net/u/11186111/Haileykitty69 here]]. I may be biased, since she writes about kinky stuff and despite knowing about the Your Kink is Not My Kink rule, I hate kinks. That said, I believe her work is objectively bad.

Her stories are all blocks of text, and they usually focus on Principal Skinner from The Simpsons, but she calls him by his first name Seymour. A few of them are unlikely crossovers too, so there's that as evidence for them being badfic. One of them has Maggie speak in full sentences.

I'm also pretty sure that Skinner is OOC in these stories; in essence, either he acts like Nelson (the schoolyard bully) or Ralph Wiggum (the scatty kid in Lisa's class).

It was epic and stuff

me likey

-- ((I actually laughed a lot at this!

Ozzielot))

I luv it but y no O'Ryan? He wud of mad teh story muh beter, epecially wif him being abe to get preg, u no?

((I can't read it. peers through fingers Is my comment bad enough? But anyways, that's accurate on how bad some of those vids are. Loved the floor baby. "She stole my crown again!"

Badfic hits Kittyauthor for 189 damage! Kittyauthor loses their mind again! Stunned for one round!))

((Edited because that attack was highly effective apparently))

((Why am I laughing out loud at all these badfics? They're so bad it's hilarious.

Why am I like this?))

((-Kittyauthor, who is going to write a badfic soon, they promise, but right now they're trying to come up with a good bad idea.))

Dis looks neet. Wil wafh l8ter. Riht noow I ned 2 sin up fur a HP gwoup. Hehe~

((Just so y'all know, yes, that hurt to write.))

Virtue's Last Reward is the second game in the Zero Escape series and the sequel to 999. It's generally regarded to be a massive step forward from its predecessor. Which it is. It's also regarded by a minority to be a lesser game than 999. This is probably also true.

The problems with Virtue's Last Reward present themselves before the... ahem, Virtues do. The whole game has a much less varied and interesting visual design compared to 999, with a lot of the setting being a bland warehouse, which is... much less distinctive than 999's replica of the Titanic. The stylish 2D character portraits from 999 have been replaced with 3D models of a questionable quality. Rather than being presided over by a creepy distorted voice and some written instructions, this game is administered by a rabbit AI that's basically a dollar-store knockoff of Monokuma from Danganronpa and is... really annoying and out of place, given the generally more serious tone of Zero Escape. And the puzzles have suffered as well: they're frequently hard in a way that's unsatisyfing or just not very fun. There is no shame in looking up answers if you're stumped on some of these.

But there's also a lot of good here. The character writing is solid as ever—heck, I'd say it's better than it was in 999. Tenmyoji and Quark are standouts, but there aren't any characters here that feel ancillary, or who are underdeveloped (like Lotus in 999...). This new Nonary Game is built on iterated Prisoner's Dillema, which means there are now new and exciting reasons for characters to be suspicious of one another and betray each other. The plot's expanded in scope pretty dramatically, for better or worse, but it all sets the stage for the trademark Zero Escape Twist Ending that turns everything on its head. And no matter how much of it you saw coming, believe me. You don't have it all figured out. Additionally, the higher level design in this game is all about pushing the conceit of 999's twist to its logical conclusion: the FLOW screen is now an integral part of the game, and while I don't want to say too much... well, it's pretty great. If you've ever played No One Has To Die, you might have some idea of what's going on...

This all converges on an ending that's completely insane and arguably a bit of a mess, built on the Zero Escape standard mix of philosophy, pseudoscience, and weird ideas about real science. But I, at least, found it satisfying. Ish. Even if it did end on a cliffhanger that leads into an unsatisfying and inadequate third game...

But if you liked 999 at all, play Virtue's Last Reward. For all its flaws, it's still excellent.

But like seroiusly gfacha club is free and so is kinmaster and making vids is suuper duper simple :D

also who is regular mel OwO

So I fell onto the ground from laughing several times. And generally my thoughts aren't coherent enough to share but this is hilarious and I was right to be afraid of what you were making.

A romance for the ages that made me twerk in shock, and a touching tale of redemption.

((There's a joke in this that technically falls under BL10 of the discord but it's not exactly detailed, also there is some language. Also if you've never heard of danganronpa before: the general concept is that it's about highschool students who are all really talented at One Thing and that's about all you should need to know to understand this. That and the fact that next to none of this is accurate to canon.))

liz & avery go on a mission

-

no POV

one day in rc idkimtoolazytolookupt henumber the thingy the goes beep went beep

it waws loud

avery woke up

liz woke up

liz punhed the thingy that goes beep

"stop"

it stopped

"what mission" aver said

"dangnaronpa" liz interprted

"what is dangnabbitronpapa" avery said

"dang gang rang rang is a kil game mystery ocular novel" liz said

"but thi is au with no killing game" liz said "they are just at hope school"

"also there is sue" liz said

"ok" avery sad now aware of dangitronpaul

-

avery n liz used the portal thingy I also don't remember the name of and went through the porta into badfic

-

BADFIC

sue POV

there was sue attending HOPE CHOOL

sue's name was sue

sue was the most beautiful

sue was the ultimate matchmaker

not match like fire match like romance

arson

every1l oved sue

even toko and toko didnt like nobody except byakuya

sue looked @ toko n byakuyaku (the two were conversationing)

"m-mastr" toko stumbled

"leave" blyatkuya authorizationed

"stepon me master" toko said

"OUT of my SIGHT stinky" byakuya said

"pls" toko said

"adorabl" sue thot

and then toko and byakugan KISSED

this is power of the ULTIMATE MATCHMAKER

-

NOT BADFIC

no POV

"ow bad" liz said

"so bad" avery acuieced

"at least the relationship is kind of? canon?" liz said "it's more one-sided though"

"still bad" avery said

"yes" liz said

-

BADFIC

sue POBV

nagito fell out a window but was fine because badluck good luck red luck blue luck

nagito feel underground and met SANS UNDERTALE

"perfect" the su sd and activeated the ULTIMATE MATCHMAKER powers

nagito and SANS UNDERTALE got married lived happly everyafter

-

NOT BADFIC

no POV

"why" liz said

"why" avery said

"kanye west he likes fingers in his ass" monokuma (he is bear( said

-

BADFIC

sue POV

hajime and chiaki played videogames and it was nice

sue nodded consent like how you agree with people in the games GEDDIT

kokichi threw a water ablloon at hajime and chiaki and ruind the vide ogame

"what" hajimeme mystified

chia pet threw a water balloon back "this is war"

"i lied lol" kokichi said

he was not a prank he was uwu soft boi this is 110% canon come on you guys hes not THAT bad dont be haterz

there was no water balloon

hajime and chiaki played videogames and it was nice

sue nodded consent like how you agree with people in the games GEDDIT

-

NOT BADFIC

no POV

"what happen" liz said

"somebody set us up the bomb" avery said "I think"

"what liz said"

-

BADFIC

sue POV

sue liked setting up her classmates in ships

but sue still sad

all this romance but non for sue

sue thingk hmmmmmmmmmm

"I KNOW"

ULTIMATE MATCHMAKER powers active

but who is best for sue?

sue looked around

then she saw scraf man hamster robot name man mr sandman man me a sand make it the cutest man car door hook hand

"I GOT IT!" sue said like when u choose a right multiple choice anser in the games GEDDIT

"hey gungun" sue said

"what" gundham said

"date me" sue said

"ok" gundham said

"NOOOOOOO" sonia said snobbily in the background bc sonia like gundham too but sue was better tso sue dated gundham instead

stupid dumb sonia princess royalty lady thinks she's so speciall because HAHA FOREIGN no no bad bad bad she SUCKS

sonia fell out a window and died because she is not luck and is bad

-

NOT BADFIC

no POV

"time to kill" liz said

"agree" avery agree

"lets go" liz said

ok avery said

liztook a ste

liz took as tep

liz took a stp

liz took a stepp

liz took a step

avery walked

-

BADFIC

sue POV

"these are the FOUR DARK DEVA S OF DESTRUCTION" gun said

hamstrs in gun scarf

I forget the four dark devas names woops

"adorable" sue said

sue pet the dark darks destruction hamsters

gundma had to go to class and left

sue read bok

-

NOT BADFIC

no POV

"now we go" liz said

"rite" avery said

they go to kill sue

-

MISSION

lz and AVRIL LAVIGNE walked up to sue

"you did bad things" liz said

"yeah you messed with canon now you mess with US" avery said

"SORE WA CHIGAU YO (NO, THAT’S WRONG)" the sue said like makoto in the game GEDDIT

"what" liz said"

"what avery said

"die" sue said

sue punched liz

"ow" liz said

avery stabed sue

"ow" su said

but sue had secret weapon

sue was not just ultimate matchmaker...........................

-

sue was secretly ULTIMATE ULTIMATE and had EVERY TALENT

somebody in the background looked into the camera like in the office

"not cool, dude"

-

sue also was he secret secret student hidding somewwhere in the ceiling the one know as why does she exist watch out wathch out for her

somebody else in the background looked into the camera like in the office

"bruh"

-

then su through an electlic fence t avery

"ZAXSDCFVGBHN" avery said

"NO" liz said

"im fine it was joke" avery said

"lol" liz said

"lol" avery said

"lol" monokuma said

"wait why are you here this is not killing game?" liz said

"bears are eternal" mononucleosus said

avery punted monominah (do-dooo do-do-do) off a cliff and monokuma exploded and dedu

"finally" sue said "he was annoying"

"yeah ikr" liz said

"wait were fighting" everybody said in unison

-

then liz stabbed the sue with 1000 yugioh cards and died

avery ws sad and stabbed the sue and sue died but avery also died like that one scene in the death of superman GEDDIT

everybody died and it was sad

fission mailed

the end

-

((Disclaimer: I actually really like Sonia's character, she just kind of got caught in the crossfire of me wanting to check the box of canon character bashing.))

((I think my two remaining brain cells perished in the process of writing this, which I guess is what happens when I unleash my inner stupid. Thanks to Moons for checking this and making sure that the humor actually lands, and for letting me bounce a few ideas off of her.))

((EDIT: Liz and Avery belong to Silv, of course, as do other things belong to their respective owners. Writing this really must've short-circuited my brain.))