The PPC Posting Board - Latest posts

Although, I may be very soon be lured away by shiny school related things... or grade marks...

-is awesome, so I dunno if it would be good to plop her in as the elrondsdaughter role.

Lay of Leithian ought to be 'smexy' enough for anyone. Defying death in order to get a jewel that will bring the Feanor brood on your head so you can marry the girl... what has Robert Pattinson ever done that compares to this? Played the piano?

every classically, obviously amazing pairing that they can get their hands on so they can try to squeeze some of its awesomeness out and paint their name on it.

But Faramir isn't nearly as smexy as Arry-warry and Leggy-poo, and Celeborn is, like, old
And what do you mean, couples that aren't in the movies? LotR is a movie!


Seriously, though, Galadriel and Celeborn don't get nearly enough love from the fans, and they're a great couple. Everything that was going on in the Second Age, with Celeborn in Eregion... *sigh*. If I was better at romance, I'd write something for them. Just have to keep practicing, I guess.

1. I will trust neither Calvin nor Hobbes with a flamethrower. No matter how much they give me the Bambi Eyes.

Eowyn and Faramir, Galadriel and Celeborn, don't get to have any.

That's not even mentioning all the other couples that aren't in the movies like Bombadil and Goldberry, Beren and Luthien, as well as Melian and Thingol. Because they obviously don't exist if they're not in the movies...

Well, no Robert Pattinson as Suicide. I was having nightmares of "Hollywood heartthrob" getting cast in a role that's totally inappropriate for him, just because it would bring in the fangirls. But you've got a good point--I do think he would enjoy being an agent, and it wouldn't surprise me if there was a place for him.

...but I'm thinking Lady Gaga as many of the Sues.

Various Dalek voice actors as Omicron, Charlie, and Fearn. John Leeson as K-9, of course.

Dustin's wings would probably be CGI. I'm not sure who would play him, Five, Tadkeeta I, Tadkeeta II, Tawaki I, Tawaki II, Tawaki III, Chrysocome, Del, or Madison. Any suggestions?

...that Elrond's nieces and nephews were ''human'', and therefore mortal?

Thank the Bronze Dragonflight!

"I wrote this because I wanted someone besides Aragorn to get some love"

Because clearly he doesn't get any in canon. >.>

Lleu

... that they see the rat and do absolutely nothing, and later on when he breaks into the building all they do is politely ask him to leave and wander off, and then they're surprised by him attacking someone.

I've added them to the Unclaimed Badfic page, but I thought they could stand to be shared here as well.

Crossing the Line - T rated
-- The second daughter of Galdriel and Celeborn must decide between the one whom she loves and the duty to her people. But then another elf comes into the picture and makes things even harder.
-- Lothlorien is apparently expanding after the War of the Ring, and Haldir is the most awesome elf in Lorien. The Sue has no discernable personality whatsoever, but is somehow the only thing anyone ever talks about. There's one short exchange about Lothlorien, which just serves as a run-up for how great the Sue is. The most important thing in Arwen's life is getting the Sue and Haldir together.
-- One mini: Rumin. I think the suethor thinks it's actually spelled that way.

Love or Duty - M rated (don't know why)
-- Legolas must choose between his love for his best friend or the duty to his kingdom. LegolasOC
-- It's all in bold and the author is badly in need of grammar and formatting lessons. The Sue was found wandering the woods and taken in by Thranduil and is now Legolas' best friend, but everyone else hates her. Frodo and Aragorn give relationship advice at Aragorn's coronation feast and Aragorn goes with Legolas to find the Sue. No-one ever talks or thinks about anything but the Sue. Three really short chapters.

Follow Your Heart - K rated
-- This is my first fanfic, and I wrote this because I wanted someone besides Aragorn to get some love. I didn't really make it as a spin off of LOTR, just kind of borrowed the characters and a few places. Constructive criticism welcome.
-- Elrond is a king, Vilya still works after the destruction of the One, and Arwen stayed in Rivendell to help look after the Sue, Elrond's orphaned niece. The Suethor seems unaware that there's any connection between Aragorn and Rivendell at all.

Ok, this next badfic is "LOVE, BULLETS AND IMMORTALITY." (Rated M) The title is in all caps and it's also one of the few places the author uses punctuation

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5989126/1/LOVEBULLETSAND_IMMORTALITY

Basically Amy and Blaze want sonic so they hire a Stu named Connor ("a wanted assassin and bounty hunter") to muder the hypotenuse (shadow). Connor is immortal, which I think is the most retarded gimmick for an assassin to have because makes life as a hire killer about as difficult as life as an heiress.

Other lameness:

Twirls a pistol "Like Ocelot from MGS3." I guess if god wanted a better description he would have miracled it into the author's word processor.

Amy and Blaze imagine Sonic's "masculine abs and muscled legs." Sonic has neither.

In exchange for killing Shadow and Kidnapping Sonic, Blaze and Amy will pay Connor 50000 euros (not rings, not mobians, euros) and two slaves, who later turn out to be Fiona and Rouge. Connor's opening fee is NFSW and reads as if it was written by Ben 'Yahtzee' Crosshaw. On second thought, there is one exclamation point. Also, there's a rather embarrassing anatomical error.

And that's just the first chapter of 30.

Given the way he interacts with the twilight fantards, I think he'd enjoy playing an agent.

Meanwhile one of the sues could be played by Megan Fox with the help of CGI (like her role in Transformers). There's probably a few other no-effort 'actresses' that could play other sues.

If there is ever an ESAS movie, I think it would go something like this:

Logan: Ryan Reynolds. He has the try-hard, slightly-annoying flippant humour requirement down-pat, and even looks vaguely like him. Unfortunately, with Ryan Reynolds involved, I think cliche is unavoidable. Runner-up, Marshall Allman (who actually looks quite a lot like Logan).

Kern: Harder to cast. I think Paul Bettany is the closest match (but not particularly close). Hollywood doesn't have many blond 30-something actors, it seems. Or at least ones that could pass for Jedi. (Neil Patrick Harris as a Jedi? Awesome, but unlikely)

Iodin: Kate Beckinsale. If she can handle glowing blue vampire eyes, glowing red Chiss eyes (and blue skin) should be no problem.

Aegis: Katie Holmes (but she'd need to grow her hair long again)

Sues: I think rotoscoped Beowulf-3D kind of thing. I think Sues need to have something CGI about them (even if it's CGI real actresses) so that they are in the "uncanny valley". Megan Fox comes to mind as a possible Sue candidate.

Hmm, that would be an interesting movie. I think there might be some interesting performances from Kern and Iodin, but I fear that Logan and Aegis would bring the movie down somewhat. Ryan Reynolds and Katie Holmes do better in ironic roles, in my opinion.

The doggerel?  It's Adams'.  In fact, it's from the original work.

It translates, roughly and euphemistically, to "dirty predators!  We even run into them when we stop for bathroom breaks."

Instant coffee granules are against my principles.  However, a shot of espresso should do the trick.

I saw a misspelling of "barbel," but that's no big deal.  I literally laughed out loud at the "desidion."

Draenei tail swat = epic.

I'm liking the "wrong target" twist, flirty dragons, the use of "foul dwimmerlaik," and dragonhawk-in-the-face.

And at last, we know why the cafeteria has that sign.

My inclination is to say that Sues would have to be CGI-generated. At the least, they would have to be Serkis Folk of some sort, just because many Sues would look so utterly inhuman in reality, if the movie takes Sue descriptions literally, which I assume it would if it wanted to be a proper representation of the PPC. Perhaps the more normal-looking ones could just be played by a beautiful actress (I'm seeing Liv Tyler as fifty different extra daughters of Elrond), but having them as Serkis Folk would also make it possible to change their features enough that it was obvious that they were different characters (or as different as Sues get), and the PPC wasn't just fighting a collection of five women who won't stay dead despite having been chopped up into pieces and eaten/burned/drowned/etc.

I also think that the work of the assasins would probably end up getting toned down a lot if the film wasn't going to be rated through the roof, just because our good guys go around killing people for existing. I know and you know there's more to it than that, but if it's going to be aimed at people who don't know the PPC, that's what they'll see. Still, since there's no way any film would be able to show every single mission ever, they could end up picking the ones where the Sue's death was most obviously totally justified because she'd performed some positively evil act. Mind you, this could probably be managed by showing the Sue-influence like demonic posession - make more use of the author-wraiths, perhaps? - to make it really obvious who the villain is and who the noble warriors standing up for all that's good without thanks or recognition are :P

Well, that was sufficiently rambling.

Kyle and Kevin stopped attacking Jack, and stared open mouthed at the sugar that had dropped over most of the cafeteria. They looked at each other, and shouted, "Sugar!" at the same time.

They scrambled away from the fight, completely oblivious to anything other than the sugar.

Cali skidded to a stop upon seeing the boys' distraction from the other agent. When he realized what they were after, he groaned. There was no way the Nursery was going to let him drop the boys off until the sugar high and the subsequent crash wore off.

Hannah looked to Cali for her cue, but upon finding him completely distracted, she looked for cover instead. The sticky rice ball thrower seemed to have ran out of ammunition, and was currently scraping gruel into a pile to restock. She ran toward him--she figured with her supply of Kool-Aid, she had a good bargaining position to join him in using that section of the buffet for cover.

we did try to make a movie a couple of years back, or at least start planning for it; it was to be based on the 2008 Macrovirus and Mary-Sue Invasions. We were going to use drawn animations, and various PPCers were going to voice the characters.

Trojie and I were sort of masterminding it all, but Real Life intervened; we both got distracted and busy, and people had to drop out. We still have the notes and plans somewhere, but the movie itself is on hold indefinitely.

. . . who would play your agents? Would they (or the movie in general) fall victim to cliche, or could it rise above? What actress would you like to see cast as a Mary Sue, or would the Sues have to be entirely CGI-generated? Can even CGI create urple? Discuss.

Here's a little something to kick off the discussion. I have a sinking feeling that, however well-made (or not) the movie was, Agent Suicide would be played by the Rock. Is this a good thing? A bad thing? I don't know. But lack of detail makes PPC-era Suicide default to Bishonen Standard, and we already know the Rock can play long-haired aggressive ancient-world guys.

Just so long as it's not Robert Pattinson.