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And I think I found something.

It's BtVS... and it incorporates some AR (alternate reality) overtones to it... Basically, it takes place inside the Asylum dimension from "Normal Again" where Normal!Buffys hallucinations actually opened up a gateway to an alternate universe (Hellmouth!verse). Or maybe this parallel dimension existed totally as a real dimension inside Buffies head (real, but with a mundane place marker for the Quantum Physics impaired... like me).

But... it has a happy ending. Even if it is a little AU.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2221234/1/NormalAgainAgain

Last I heard, people aren't supposed to post stories in script format. Precisely because of the reactions we're seeing here, I assume.

~Neshomeh

My family likes to joke about the many, MANY Twilight ripoffs. Twilight with seasonal werewolves (It was complicated; they turned into wolves during the winter and humans during the summer. Don't ask) Twilight with fallen angels, Twilight with wizards, Twilight with orcs, Twilight with zombies... We've already seen that Bella is on some kinda undead kick.

...and raise you 5 Reasons We Love Harry Potter More Than Twilight

But, unlike most of the people on that list, Aquaman is married! To a very jealous woman who can tear tanks apart with her bare oh I see...

Not that I wouldn't like to learn; it's a very cool language, and I'm a nerd like that. -ahem- Anyway. From what little I know and have seen, umlauts in Elvish only appear over E's, and *only* when that E is at the end of a word, as a reminder that yes, it is pronounced, as in Manwë, Olwë, and a third of the rest of the cast of the Silmarillion. And I've never seen the U-accent (û) in anything but Dwarvish.

I think, in this case, the author was too lazy to find real Elvish (which technically would be Quenya or Sindarin, not Elvish, but I'm generalizing) but wanted to make ser fic look fancy with speshul languages, so instead se just made up some cool-looking arrangements of letters and accents. I used to do that myself... Then I figured it out. Now I'm working on my own languages. :3

there's a movie version of "Huckleberry Finn" where the main character is played by Elijah Wood. That's probably it.

I was wondering about that.

I made a comment about that on the Claimed Badfic talk page. Something about us collectively taking on too much of a case load. I guess they could be moved back to the unclaimed list; which is what I do with the fics I decide not to mission after all.

Timestamping is not strictly necessary. It's possible to open an old version of the list (in edit mode) next to a newer version (different tabs or windows on your browser) and remove everything on the new list that was also on the old list.

Eeyore: Thanks for noticing me.
Bella: Sorry for making you think about me.

NPR gets super bonus points for reminding me of those Miser songs:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yon2YuXssvo

Since Kelok and Unger did their second mission in a bad parody fic, I am giving this one to make up for the bad one.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5697779/1/SoLudicrouslySilly

It is a crossover of Sherlock Holmes and Monty Python, and the title "So Ludicrously Silly" really says it all.

Enjoy.

I love NPR. On top of that awesome, hilarious list, they threw in a Unitarian joke. ^___^

~Neshomeh, Unitarian Universalist

...Should Fall Madly In Love With

I have always said that it seems like an impressive coincidence that Bella Swan — of Twilight fame — had one boyfriend who was a vampire, and then found another one who was a werewolf.

In the same town. I mean, what are the odds? There are towns in the United States where running into both a Unitarian and a Presbyterian at T.G.I.Friday's would make you think, "Hey, this place is quite a bit more diverse than I thought!" But Bella found a vampire and a werewolf. In a row. In high school.

Yes, yes, her magical blood smells like cookies, her scent is as one hundred Milk Bones doused in the juices of a thousand T-bone steaks. Still, you have to admit: that's unusual.

So naturally, I got to thinking: if she can attract a vampire and a werewolf, she apparently has a knack for mythical creatures, and although she's always going to wind up in the ice-cold, red-lipped, guylinered, sparkly embrace of her beloved for all eternity (and beyond), there's no reason she can't have a few more dates before they make this whole thing permanent.

1. Dancing Broom from The Sorcerer's Apprentice. The great thing about Bella dating a broom is that while Edward and Jacob both provide protection and impressive biting abilities, there's no indication that either of them can literally clean up after our heroine. Bella would, let's say, come into the house with sand on her bare feet, and Broomy would come over, stare at her meaningfully, and then: sweepsweepsweep. No more sand. Bella would be utterly blown away by this display of care and protection. Added bonus: Adorable phone sign-off could be, "You're more wooden." "No, you're more wooden." "Wuv you." [Click.]

2. Mogwai from Gremlins. I could go into detail, but it comes down to this:

Bella: [sob sob sob] [tear falls on Mogwai]

Mogwai: [chomp chomp chomp]

3. Snow Miser. It's fairly clear at this point that, unlike many ladies, Bella has a thing for cold dudes. And as we learned in The Year Without A Santa Claus, Snow Miser has the goods when it comes to this. For a lot of women, calling yourself "Mr. Icicle" and "Mr. Ten Below" would be a turn-off, but not for Bella. No, not for her the warm-blooded and cozy-making. The more frost, the better. And the song does say "he's too much." I know he's no bloodsucking quasi-vegetarian, but old Pouty McFlannelShirt might want to get on that, because she could be missing out.

4. Aquaman. As comics blogger Glen Weldon has pointed out, Aquaman has had quite a difficult road. He gets teased a lot, he dies, he comes back, he unexpectedly turns into a jerk and then back into ... whatever he is normally. Bella would love this kind of drama. Something about the possibility of Bella being kissed while ringed with seaweed just seems kind of right.

5. Eeyore. Match made in heaven, people.



(This was found here: http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/2010/06/29/128191090/five-more-fictional-beings-bella-swan-should-fall-madly-in-love-with . All credit goes to Linda Holmes and NPR. Posted the text in case the link didn't work for those of y'all not in the US of A. ;-))

I borrowed that disclaimer from IndeMaat's last story. I think it is aimed at the author of the badfic, really, because in the case of Sherlock Holmes, the original is in the public domain, so there was no copyright violations in using the characters.

Of course, the whole issue of parody/satire really is bizarrely convoluted in American law, so it might even apply to regular fanfic, which is weird, but possible. I once read a law brief that argued that Mary Sue fanfic falls under the fair use clause because the intentional kick butt Mary Sue is a parody of say an all male kick butt cast. It wasn't an actual case, just a case study type thing done by a law student, but it did highlight for me how weird the fair use laws are. (No, I don't have the link any more, sorry.)

That was a project of epic proportions, and you did brilliantly. Kudos to you!

The fic Jane was rescued from is real. There was, indeed, a Maia!Sue who was Aragorn's daughter, and she did indeed have a friend who was a four-way hybrid of Middle-earth's major races. Add their habit of popping in and out of modern Earth, and you have one major headache.

It was written by two of my friends, who are almost certainly past their Sue stages by now. Intelligently, they never posted their creation.

Of course, I can't be one to talk; having once written a Mary Sue who was the supergenius daughter of the Ellimist (Animorphs). She became a Controller, overpowered her own Yeerk and became an estreen fighter pilot who eventually gained the Q-like power to change reality itself. Next to that, Maiar and four-way hybrids look downright tame.

Thanks so much for the input, Neshomeh! I was a bit worried I wouldn't get FicPsych right. I guess I hadn't anything to worry about!

Okay, so I've started reading fic again, found some good ones, and mostly a large pile of bonfire worthy stories. Some things are bugging me, language wise, as you can see.
Came across a story here, and some of the Elvish in there is giving me a headache. When Haldir (who may not be the real one) is speaking to Faramir (who seriously needs help from an agent/FicPsych, btw), and I was wondering if any of it was real. According to the author, "pen velui" means "lovely one". I can't find any proof on reliable sites, and I can't get onto Grey-company to check their lists.
Among the translation headaches (not necessarily from the same story) are:
-roch neth/roch-neth: little horse (really?)
-Mailëo liantassë: vines of lust (I'm not gonna touch that one...)
Ihaes: (I have no idea what this means, but it's not on any reliable site)
Gûren: (see above)
Maer fuin: used as a parting, but no actual translation provided (found on aragorn-legolas.5u.com; called Erfier) (Mára farië or Mára estë maybe? Hmm.)
Erfier: (supposedly) "Only Mortal" (don't trust this site/the authors, on principal; same site as above)
Actually, right now, I have to get off. So, more translation annoyances tomorrow, maybe.
Anyone else got any translation headaches(or any answers to mine? 'Cause I don't read/write/speak Elvish fluently).

-Honu_Wahine

I was meaning for it to be a sort of final evaluation. If they handle the mission well (or as well as agents typically handle them) then they get to move into an RC.

I'm went back and made that clearer.

...the same thing was done here. I haven't read the fanfic, though, as I'm not familiar with X-Men and I've only read the unabridged version of Huckleberry Finn once.

The main page, current events, and complete list pages are all tagged with the dates. Expanding that to cover Unclaimed and Claimed Badfic lists makes perfect sense to me! Stick a note up there to tag all posted badfic with a comment and the date, and to remove anything older than six months or claimed by someone who's retired.

I didn't think the nurses would like it, either, but you can't say "no" to the Flowers very easily, and if the agents in question aren't going to keel over dead, the Flowers might even make the argument that "the continuum is more important than the agents" (which probably explains at least some flamethrower incidents).

I also wanted to ask about your disclaimer, Miah: The idea of parody fanfic (like PPC missions) not violating copyright law, while regular fanfic technically does (and gets away with it because nobody's making money and the owner of the work doesn't care), seems odd to me. But I wouldn't be surprised if the law really is that convoluted.

Wait, seriously? Did they actually do that?

Kill it. Kill it with FIRE.

That is some kind of nasty fic. Good work killing it.

Did you mean to have Immac give them the meds instead of Suzine? The switch seemed a bit sudden; I didn't even catch it until you mentioned Immac later and I went back and checked.

I'm not sure they'd be thrilled with the idea of people being sent on a mission straight from the ward, but they're pretty low on the totem pole when it comes to deciding what goes on in HQ. Alas, oh woe, cruel world, etc. ... Maybe they just haven't been given an RC yet?

Either way, I'm not objecting. I can easily see something like that happening over the objections of the nurses, and it worked out in the end.

~Neshomeh

I get the feeling they're going to miss Jason. You make a good point: it's not the best place for hallucinogenic Plants. ^^; Plus, he just seems an all-around nice guy.

FicPsych: *throws Jason a going-away--no-really-we-don't-want-to-see-you-here-as-a-patient party* *for five years of sorta-hard work, gifts him with five months' worth of Bleeprin, his own coffee pot, and possibly his tranq gun and darts if that works for his author*

... I suspect they also hate me for starting the whole "badfic recruit needs a personality" trend, though. I'm sure their workload has doubled since Ilraen first got the treatment. Oh well!

Enjoy your Permission. ^^

~Neshomeh, trend-setter.