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Don't get me wrong, most of her stuff is awesome. It's just Azalea that gets to me. I mean... just... look at her! She has Ferahgo the Assassin helping her make a daisy chain, for Eru's sake!

Dang. She runs one of my favorite Donald Duck comic sites.

So, my housemate just wandered in to trade a brew for a fag, and we ended up discussing the relative merits of written pornography versus visual pornography. As you do. He complains that his imagination's abysmal since he cleaned himself up, and I pointed out that he won't do himself any favours watching, ahem, TV all the time because it rots the brain. Long story short, I now need links to PWP to throw at him. Not just any old PWP either, but really excellent stuff. (And preferably in fandoms I know so I can explain when he gets confused.)

So, any recommendations?

Oh, and some het would be good, because trying to get him on the slash might not really help me make my point all that well.

Have a winged kitten, and watch out for giant glass jars!

Also beware the cheese. It's always plotting, when it thinks we aren't looking...

This one is Ecuadorian, and he's (yes, it's a he again) the funny one. Like Krisprolls, in fact.
Meet the Guayas.

The sooner we got this one out the way, we thought, the sooner we could curl up in a corner and weep. Seriously brain breaking, the original fic called itself crack, and featured Dumbledore and Dobby. You have been warned.

Mission, stripped as usual of the worst of the horror, is here: http://agenttrojie.livejournal.com/98620.html

I've a brand-new Agent with a brand-new mission to be found here.
Also, the follow-up interlude, here. :)

That hacker ruined the whole chapter this time and we only got to see a tiny bit so maybe you should get in contact with the Fanficland mods and see whats going on because its really getting unfair.

But now Im getting worried about whats going to happen to Jyaycacia because you said someones going to die! I hope its not Jaycacia or the SO because theyre just too in love to be broken apart but even if it was Jay Id be sad because she deserves some happiness after living with Acacia.

Welcome to the randomness that is the PPC. Here, have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

Have a cup of tea.

Have a shapeshifting plushie.

Sorry, the sentence said something else originally and I obviously didn't change it all.

Not that I'd have the slightest guy how to write a pole dance anyway.

A/N: So Iv'e seen other people doing this and tohught it looked like a good ieda so I'm doing review replies.

MystikalLuvrrRr: I'm glad you liked it. And LOL, I tihnk I may Acacacia a bit mroe evil than she really is becaus it made teh story more interesting. As for the months ummm you'l see later (if I keep teht chapter in LOL).

Ellintyra Lloysinthayr: I totaly agree! Tahnk you fory our review.

Lilith Wydenbrooke: Ummmm yea I thought that hackr wouldve given up bu now but aparrently not.

AgafndYou: I cant' tell you if sh'es going to die! Taht would spoil it!

brandywinebaby89: TAhnk you for your review!

Honest Critic: Ummmm thanks? Im' doing what you said and not using mutliple punctuation mars or numberals (except in brandybaby's name LOL) so hopefully youl'l like taht.

A/N: Okay so tihs is the chapter which is why the story is rated R. Umm if you dont' like that you can skip it.

*-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-*

Chapter Two - Sweat

As soon as Jaycacia, Jay and the SO arrived in the secluded glade, Jay pulled off her--

~

Jay glanced down the first few lines and then screwed the sheet of paper into a ball. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" she said.

"Oh, absolutely," Acacia agreed. "That's why I came back in time two thousand years, tracked you down in the largest city in the known world, and made you leave your workshop to read the new epic tale of the greatest travesty known to man." She paused for a moment. "Oh, wait, never mind."

Jay glowered at her and plucked another date from the bowl. "You still went and got the second chapter," she accused. "You knew it was going to be bad."

"The whole thing's bad," Acacia said calmly. "You didn't have to bring it here."

"I thought you'd like seeing me again," Jay muttered. "My mistake."

Acacia rolled her eyes. "Of course I do, Jay," she said. "But you don't need a Mary-Sue-shaped excuse to come and visit. Or a date-shaped one," she added, looking at the half-empty bowl next to Jay's chair.

The other woman dropped her hand guiltily, although not before popping one final date into her mouth. "She said I can skip it," she said. "Can I skip it?"

"If you really want to," Acacia allowed. "I checked, and there's nothing plot relevant. You might want to read the last paragraph, though."

"Oh, fine," Jay replied. Picking the page up again, she smoothed it out and read.

~

As night began to fall, Jaycacia sat beside her lovers and looked out over the glade. It had been a wonderful few hours, the happiest she remembered, and the prospect of a whole week here made her smile both inside and out. Leaning against the SO's stem while Jay rubbed her feet, she thought about where they might go tomorrow. Little did she know that before the night was over, the peaceful forest would be marred by death.

BUT I think yuov'e got it backwards becaus ethe SO isnt' evil its' Arcacia whose evil so mabye you should make a new story about how Acacia mindcontroled the So to make him seem evil. aNyway thats' just my sujeston.

YOu got haked by the same person who hakked me!! Tahts' so UNFAR! Wh ywould anyone do tha???

Ummmm anyway good sotry.

http://sullivanet.com/redwall/creative/flower.htm

Has anyone ever done this one before? If not, I claim. 'Cause I want this witch to BURN.

First time I've done that. Hello! May I call you Pip? Here, have an Artifact of Death. Welcome to the PPC!

Hello all! Pipistrellus is the name, lurking's my game. Let me tell you a little about myself. I am currently working on a Bachelor of Arts somewhere deep in the southeastern US. I do a lot of lurking on SomethingAwful, news sites and (gasp!) a few blogs. I love humor in all its forms and media. I'm into a fair amount of fandom--mostly Avatar, X-Men, Spider-Man, Harry Potter, and some LOTR. When I can tear myself away from the computer, I work in the garden, paint, and sell produce at my local farmer's market.

Disclaimer: I don't own Warhammer 40k, the PPC, or anything in this chapter that can be attributed to another person. that is all.

Chapter four: An Inquisitor rises.

Agent Tawaki Penguin had been informed of the events in HQ by the Queen Anne's Lace and the Gladiolus; who claimed to have been part of the SO's Secret-Self-Defence-Circle at least until the beginning of the siege of Legal, when they were magically retconned out of it by one of its personnel, who told them to warn the town in New Caledonia of the assault. Seconds later, an army of Ypurs commanded by the Hornbeam's hive mind came through a dozen portals. At the same time, advance elements of the NMG's armies began to arrive, setting up fortifications around one of the cliffs.

They had tried to form a defensive cordon for a while, but the enemy forces proved too strong, particularly when they were joined by several battalions of Tesla and Apocalypse tanks (from Red Alert 2). Now, the desperate Agent fought beside his wife, Takdeeta in order to save what he can of the CPI's hope.

A signal had already been sent out to the PPC TARDISes to return here instead of HQ. At the same time, OFUer's began to arrive in the town, telling lurid tales of what had happened to their schools. Those who were fit enough to fight and wanted to were sent to the front, being given what weapons were available at the time, including Molotov Cocktails.

However, even their desperate attacks proved futile, and Tawaki and Takdeeta kissed each other in preperation for the end.

Then, the last true hope arrived.

The Mirror Multiverse Black Cats portaled in from their secret base, bringing several Daleks. They destroyed the enemy forces in short order, swooping in to reinforce the lines.

"Honeshah! Mkellin!"

"Tawaki!"

The now-relived Agent rushed out to hug his friends.

"Hey! easy there. You might break my shoulder blades!"

"Sorry, Kell."

"Now, tell me: What is your situation? We heard about the fall of your HQ from our buggers at the Sunflower Emperor-"

"Your Sunflower Emperor knows about this?!"

"Yes, he does. The NMG made contact with him several months ago, and they staged a surprise attack on our headquarters.
Then, they began watching for any attempt to cross the barrier between Multiverses. They only pulled out their sensor web when they began the assault on your HQ. Sorry."

"Its not your fault. What's the status of HQ?"

"Large parts of it are controlled by your Hornbeam and his Hive Mind. He appears to be independent from the NMG or the EPC, and is in fact actively figthing them."

"We sort of guessed that when the Ypurs attacked the NMG troops instead of helping them. Thanks, though."

"No problem."

[[OOC: This is only one part. please, wait!]]


[[OOC: Just wait]]

*pops in briefly from her academic whirlwind*

Greetings, good Boarders and please allow me to plug a Torchwood bad slash mission by Trojie and Pads

http://agenttrojie.livejournal.com/98419.html#cutid1

Is NSFW, short, silly, nonspoilery, contains some discussion of how being possessed affects the whole 'consent' issue, and a bit of discussion of what constitutes 'sexy'. Enjoy!