Not bad, sounds like something out of Mercedes Lackey 100 Kingdoms verse (If you like this type of genre, I do suggest it. Even though it is true fairy tails that I think that you want to avoid. The other I would suggest are the Xanth books by Piers Anthoney.)
One comment that I would like to make. A king would never be in this type of situation unless he truely loved his wife, something that you don:t state in the opening. The Queen:s tantrums woudld not be tollerated after the first one. She would fall to disfavour in the eyes of the king and be sent to a nearby estate to have the child, or at least into a separate appartment of rooms across the castle so that the king would not have to listen to the `insane, and infernal` woman.
Why is the king able to travel without any special retinue or preparation into a village? This is not realistic in anysence. Even in an increadibly peaceful kingdom, the royalty are never without body guards and other hager-ons.
Editing: the end/or that you use in the second paragraph should just be `or`. `And` is redundant and adds confusion to this statement. There are some other editing problems, but that is the one the bugs me the most when I see it in a story. It is fine in notes and other personal documents, not for a narrative.
Should you continue? I say yes! But I do like fantasy. And the witch is sounding interesting, especially if you are going to have the story revolve around her.
But this is my opinion! Take and leave what you will. I do think that there is potential here.
Leto
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Opinions by
on 2009-03-29 19:38:00 UTC
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What REALLY sucks... by
on 2009-03-29 19:25:00 UTC
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is that This Time Round (Dr Who pub outside continuity and bizzare place)HAS a character called Sailor Gallifrey who is sharing bodies with an author avatar and is (in my opinion) a goodfic character.
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Thanks by
on 2009-03-29 18:17:00 UTC
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I just meant that I tend to act older than I am, but thanks for all the welcomes.
As far as fandoms that I'm interested in... well, there are a lot. Mostly anything from Marvel, throw in some Alan Moore titles, Kingdom Hearts, Terminator (Television and Movies, not so much the comics)-- oh and Fables.
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*returns poking* by
on 2009-03-29 17:44:00 UTC
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Who is this 'Jessica' person you speak of? And why would you think that I'm them?
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thanks, then by
on 2009-03-29 17:03:00 UTC
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i know just what i will use it for.
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Department of Personnel, actually. (nm) by
on 2009-03-29 16:52:00 UTC
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Ah, of course. Silly me... by
on 2009-03-29 16:28:00 UTC
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(starts humming Tom Lehrer's "The Masochism Tango")
...What? =P
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OMG Chainsword! by
on 2009-03-29 15:09:00 UTC
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...Chainsaw gooood...
Chainsword better!
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Whoa, the Dept. of Recruitment has been busy by
on 2009-03-29 14:58:00 UTC
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Okay, I don't know if we actually have such a thing as a Department of Recruitment (it's not on the Wiki at any rate), but we seem to be getting a lot of new members in a short period of time. When I joined this board not so long ago, I had no idea how big the PPC was. I thought they were just a small bunch of hopeless nerds, but it turns out we're a BIG bunch of hopeless nerds. (Not that it's a bad thing. One day we nerds will rule the world, everyone knows that. They all secretly fear us, and that's why they oppress us.)
[/rant]
Uh, yeah, welcome.
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Why, hello. by
on 2009-03-29 14:35:00 UTC
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Welcome to the PPC. Trust me, twenty's not old at all. I'm twenty, and I still feel like a little kid half the time. :D And there are people of all ages in here.
*presents you with newbie-gifts of a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object*
Lovely to have you here.
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Happy Birthday, Rilwen! by
on 2009-03-29 14:28:00 UTC
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In recognition of your 21st, I present you with a big sack of pebbles, a basket of Bleeprin-berries and your own customised sling!
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In response to your query... by
on 2009-03-29 14:25:00 UTC
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We're doing the best we can, thank you very much. We've been struggling with funding for years, not to mention the random pay cuts and raises whenever Agents have tantrums and demand raises or get into trouble. Not to mention we have to work with a whole range of currencies. Do you have any idea what it's like trying to figure out the exchange rate between Star Wars Republic Credits and Potterverse Galleons? It's a headache, that's what it is.
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Just saying. :P (nm) by
on 2009-03-29 12:53:00 UTC
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I couldn't know that. (nm) by
on 2009-03-29 10:42:00 UTC
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By the way... by
on 2009-03-29 08:10:00 UTC
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I found the interstitial that I was referring to in my original post. Took some doing.
This is one of Cartoon Network's oldest interstitials, and was used to promo the network back when it was still young.
For almost a decade, this and other promos like it were the only place on the network where you would see anyone not made of pen and ink.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDN3wyxIJPk
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I already gave them to her. (nm) by
on 2009-03-29 08:05:00 UTC
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Welcome! by
on 2009-03-29 07:54:00 UTC
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You also get a granite pillow!
Don't worry, some of us are older than you are, though I'm afraid I can't compare on the feelings. :)
Someone will give you The Links soon, I imagine, but I'm afraid it won't be me, because I'm in a bit of a rush right now. So welcome, welcome, welcome, and it's good to meet you!
(Do watch your language, though. The Constitution specifically requests it.)
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It's a silly joke. by
on 2009-03-29 07:51:00 UTC
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They're for hitting people and objects that will inevitably try to keep you from sleeping.
*shrugs* Frankly, I'm just being silly; most Board members have a particular item that they give to every newbie, and I bounced around for a while before picking this.
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Hello. (nm) by
on 2009-03-29 07:03:00 UTC
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Making Myself Known by
on 2009-03-29 06:59:00 UTC
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I don't know what to really say as an introduction, buddy of mine through a roleplaying forum showed me this.
You can call me Chase for short, if it's not taken. I'm old... okay, I'm twenty, but I feel very aged. If you like most rock music, comic books, and techie shit you're good in my book.
I inject myself with sarcasm and energy drinks, which seems to be working out well for me despite multiple warnings from my job about talking much too fast to the customers. You will misunderstand me much more than once and I apologize in advance.
Well, I suppose that's all. Let's hope I get the opportunity to tickle your sides with a version of my own PPC soon enough. :-)
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Depends on the fandom. by
on 2009-03-29 06:17:00 UTC
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For example, fandoms like Kingdom Hearts and Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles are practically on their hands and knees begging for crossovers. They have as much chance as being good fic than any other type.