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...and eat cake! :-D

Not exactly clear how they're planning to do it, but apparently they're trying to make crossovers file properly. *shrug*

You don't want to sell me deathsticks.
*waves hand again*
You want to join the party, and play Stab the Sue.

*HUG*

Wanna buy some deathsticks? *seedy look*

Here, have an egg whisk! You can make omelets with that frying pan! The egg whisk is gold-plated, too, and has bunches of other uses.

Enjoy the insanity!

*dons party hat, puts prezzies on table, and nicks off with some food*

Er, maybe you should advise them to invest in some padding? Or there's always this. *hands over a fluffy towel* Welcome!

Just don't sing Rape Me within earshot of Lux.

As far as I know, Divisions don't have exclusive rights. Maybe you could take along someone from the DVS to concentrate on the specific Sue and leave the other two to your own Agents? We could e-mail about it.

Actually, sympathy never works.
2k monies...oh...aargh...ksjdfp[w09''...heretic, mutant, traitor to the cause!...wombat...nooooooooo!

Have a coupon- redeemable for your annual birthday hazing ritual. And also some bleepcake.

Ve do not drink... bleepka. Here, have some bleepka! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *holds out bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* We don't have much use for things like that here. I gift thee also with some hugs and sparklevamp repellent- all natural and guaranteed to ward off 100% of Edward Cullens!
-Mad Maudlin

Welcome, new friend! Have a complimentary walnut from the wooden bowl by the door. I'm pretty sure they're all dead, but by the off chance that one starts attempting conversation with you, I highly recommend you ignore any advice it might give you.

As for a gift, here's a sock full of rocks. I'm sure you'll find a use for it.

*sings in a funeral dirge style, thumping the table every now and then*

Happy birthday... *thunk* Oh happy birthday... *thunk*

Grief and misery and despair, people DYING everywhere...

But...

Happy birthday... *thunk* Oh happy birthday... *thunk

One year CLOSER TO DEATH!!!

But...

Happy birthday... *thunk* Oh happy birthday... *thunk*

Does it have to be a knife? I have a plastic spoon, so could I try to go for the eyes?

I wouldn't dream of telling him that. No need, given he's tied up and gagged somewhere out of sight. :p

*raising kanar*
For the crazy!
For Cardassia!
For CAKE!

*curls up into a fetal position and whimpers* Yiff in hell furfags... developers developers developers developers... goose... goose... GOOSE...

*sets up Sues, duct-taped to the wall*

And now we get blindfolded and see how long it takes to kill them. :p

... you know, I don't think anyone's ever said what kanar tastes like. The various wikis don't say so either - just that it's a thick liquid, which I already knew. Heh. So therefore, I've decided that it's quite sweet.

Happy birthday to both of you! Agent Sedri apologises for being a little late, but she had to get a few Trek Sues ronded up for you.

*dumps inert bodies on the floor*

They've been sedated; give it two minutes and they'll come 'round. *hands out the daggers*

Regarding the dagger: Yay!!! Sharp Pointy Object!!!
Regarding the blatant DMS advertising: AAHHH!!! YOU READ MY MIND!!!