The PPC Posting Board - Latest posts

Will Kim and Tim do?

I can't seem to log onto any of my email accounts at the moment. Stupid internet!

I know there was a Gathering in the UK just a few months ago, but would anyone be interested in going to one in or near London sometime around the end of October?

Dear so called 'fanwriter',

This was supposed to be fanfiction. With emphasis upon FAN. I find it difficult to believe that anyone fond enough of my work to term themselves a fan could churn out the drivel I have witnessed from you. Reread the books, please, until you remember that as my characters, they are and remain as I imagined them, not as what passes for your imagination would mutate them into.

Kindly desist from horrifying me with your illiterate nonsense. My patience is not endless. I may find myself forced to forbid fanfiction based upon my work...and rest assured that I will have you blamed for it. I look forward to either your silence or your improvement.

Cheers,
The author whose books you mangled.

Dear PPCer,

Thankyou for recognising the foul excresence that was that so-called 'story'. Thankyou for your defense of the works I have writer. You, I consider to be a very genuine fan. Would you like a cameo in my next book, or would you prefer a signed copy of the one you defended so masterfully?

Yours,
A very grateful author.

Ve vant your naaaames...and possibly your souls, but names will do for now, so we can reverse them and turn them into characters.
The email thing is because we know that you probably won't want your name directly connected to your online persona, so a behind-the-scenes giving of it might be better.

*has Tough Guide to Fantasyland waiting ready for fun with creating Fantasy By Numbers*

We were looking for some more ideas for names of people and places. If anyone has any ideas, would you either post them on here or email us with them (if you'd rather not be publicly associated with the idea, email, otherwise posting here is fine).

We would also appreciate everyone's opinions of this idea.

We got into a good MSN chat, and somehow came up with the idea of writing a story based on fantasy cliches, where most of the names are reversals of ordinary words and names. The working title is "Fantasy By Numbers (And Some Backwards Names)". The cast so far is as follows, listed in order of creation:

Samoht, the Generic Desert Rider extra

Ardnassac, the bard who shows up to deliver an ancient song with convenient clues

Eissac, the guard escorting Our Heroes through the woodland fortress

Ennaxor, the Big Bad's underling who kicks Our Hero's ass in about Chapter Three, then gets killed ignominiously around Chapter Ten

Xela, the demoness whose wiles leave her beheaded

Yxor, the Big Bad who has taken control of the king

Newlir, the Standard Elf Guy who is Teh Awsum with a bow

Tarp, the local yokel and standard Hairy-Footed Short Thing

Gnik, the good king

Elcycib, the friendly big-bosomed tavern wench

Oreh the Mighty, the Hero

Dren the Weedy, the main sidekick

Krod, the ogre with bad timing and worse footwork

Resol, the very bad assassin

Ome the Androgynous (and angsty)

They live in the land of Onnudi.

We also have a few quotes from the as yet unwritten story.

"What shall we call ourselves?" "Why not Dnabeht?" "Dnabeht, Ardnassac? Why a silly name like that?" "It seemed to fit the theme." "What theme?" "You know what? Forget it. Would 'Oreh's Group' work?" "BRILLIANT!" "...*sigh*"

"Here. My song. I was told to learn this while I was becoming a bard. It has never been appropriate until now, I've never until now been able to sing it, and you're going to analyse the words and ignore my talent entirely, so let's get it over with?"

"Oh, I am so depressed. My mum died after living a long and happy life, warm in her bed, with those she loved around her..." "Oh, Ome, shut up. You got the house." "But the house...it is a fount of tragedy and despair..." "If you don't want it, I'll take it..." "*hastily* No, Resol, that house is *my* despair-filled burden, I cannot lay it upon you."

"Krod's pants itch." "Why?" "Krod wiped Krod's rear with funny-looking leaves. Krod can feel swellings." All:*shudder* "*sarcastically* Krod should make sure not to do that next time then." "There will be next time?" "Yes, seeing as you never pay attention when we point out poison ivy."

And also rather smug. I'd correct people on how OOC the characters were under sockpuppet names, then drop an "I am the author, THAT's how I know they're OOC" bomb.

...Besides, I'd throw in subtext liek whoa just to see what the results were. :p

And I had been looking at the TVTropes wiki's horrible fanfic page and Morbid Curiosity got me. *shoots Morbid Curiosity*

prussic acid makes things go boom when it contacts them...

My favourite acid would have to be nitric - explosives are so much easier with it around...

...as a whole. Sorry! Do you know any flowers or gemstones, that symbolize guilt and apology? I need to send Anti-Lustin versions to you right away. Of course, you might not want those, considering how I acterd...

Immature mode: Temporarily off.

...those two fandoms. At least the Retcons and the Revalations actually work.

Immature mode: Still on.

Gospel truth smashed... Beloved(but not good) plotbunnies killed... Defenses against fanbrats who can't comprehened the finer points of the Pokemon/Digimon debate iredeemably damaged... EVACUATE THE FANDOMS! EVACUATE! EVACUATE! EVACUATE! FLEE TO WARCRAFT! FLEE TO WARCRAFT!

Immature mode coming!

It's not like we're going to run out of mini-Balrogs to adopt.

*hears a knock at the door*

Ah, hello Ewoyn. Now, let's get you fed and on your way home...

*aside to Lily* I think I'll handle it from here, in case she gets it into her head to sneak back after you. Thanks for looking after her.

Didn't we kind of put a moratorium on this kind of thing a while back? "Squick for squick's sake," that is. Looking at that URL, it's not like you were innocently browsing ff.net and came across some random Trek PWP.

~Neshomeh

For example, we could be the PPC - a collection of people who strive to make use of a satirical sense of humour to define what is 'Acceptable' and what isn't in the world of Fanfiction writing. To do this, we make stories that parody the cliches of writing, using a pre-existing text as our basis.

Or, otherwise, the PPC is an organisation of sentient beings who are controlled to take a stand against the stock character of the 'Mary Sue'

That's my definition anyways.

Although as a luker I don't think my opinion really counts.

OH GOD MY VIRGIN EYES! *claws at face*