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This sounds cool! Fantasy parodies are really quite fun. *offers up "Maxine" and "Sydney"* Enixam and Yendys... Lotsa Xs and Ys make for good sorcerer names, perhaps?

This is Drake, after all. But yes, we'll use in-vitro, like Mara and Isaiah did with the Sue's kids in "Your Unhappy Elladan" and what happened with that mpreg fic somewhere.

I don't know this canon, I freely admit, but I have to say you really should get in-vitro transportation, or contact Doc Fitz to transport the baby into Medical. I very much doubt that Upstairs will take a lenient view of Mpreg, even in a good cause, so Drake is right out, and it's usually a good idea for the baby to be moved into a mother of its own species...

I guess Medical have artifical wombs or something for babies that need it. I know I've heard of a case where it happened before...

Just plain creepiness (Naruto describing his first mating in babytalk is among the most vomit-inducing things I've ever seen short of "Cloud Mows The Lawn").

Misogyny ("submissive" critters automatically equal female?)

Multiple cases of biological improbability (ass-hymens, shapeshifting, etc).

Multiple cases of rape turning to love.

Illogic (if they're as smart as humans, wouldn't it come under anti-slavery laws if you're trying to keep them as pets? If Naruto's a girl now, why are they still calling him "he" even though he's pregnant and wearing frilly dresses? This is the furry Japanese equivalent of Little Miss Mary!)

Ripping all the characters who weren't replaced OOC.

And of course, annoying PPC agents and being Marty Stus.

... by the power of Author Does Not Want To Imagine Cute Girl With Penis. (Though he has no problem doing so when it comes to Naruto, apparently ... no, Naruto-thing does not count as female. I refuse to let the abomination associate with my gender.)

Okay, time for the charge list

Deifnately biolgoical imporbabilities.

Mating amphianiban with a mamal and getting offspring.

supposedly hinata is a herm too. this author is werid.

Actually the other was Cat!Neji abusing Mouse!Hinata (if their fathers were twin brothers, wouldn't that make them half-siblings rather than just cousins? Eeh), and apparently Sakura/everyone according to the character-bashing bits.

So, which should be exorcised and which are character replacements, and of the character replacements, which should be killed and which should be adopted? Naruto-thing and Sasuke-thing need to die. Barbecue time? I think the raccoon-thing and tadpole-thing that appear at the end could be adopted, and I think Naruto-thing is pregnant at the end so an emergency in vitro transportation may be necessary (unless Drake's willing to carry it for a while ... well, Skyfire and Naomi probably wouldn't be).

He/she/it made Lee into a frog hybrid? WTF!?!? Actually, I could probably see that given how he dresses in canon. Let's try that again.

Ahem.

They made Lee be submissive to GAARA? Has this person watched the series/read the manga at all? I find it hard to believe that they have.

I have nothing against the Gaara/Lee pairing at all, when they are both human and are in an equal relationship not the messed up dom-rapes-sub-and-sub-isn't-allowed-to-complain parody that is presented here.

Let me guess at other pairings in this. Temari/Shikamaru and Neji/Tenten (or Neji/Shikamaru and Temari/Tenten if there's no such thing as a het pairing in this). Kiba/Hinata, Asuma/Kurenai, Kakashi/Iruka, Tsunade/Jiraiya. Am I right?

Names, names....
Nwot, the largest city in the land.
Siloportem, a small town.
Rotcod, the healer.
Yma, the friendly, annoying blonde tagalong.
Leumas, the stoic, mysterious hunter that only appears when the heroes are about to die.
Nerak, a cheery innkeeper.
Nwahs, a retired sergent.

(Feel free to change them.)

much more thoroughly than I have. *bookmarks it for future use*

I feel a thorough laggard for not having even touched it before this moment. Thanks, Ansela!

--Mystia, finally active again

that it would fall under the purview of the DMSE&R

Skyfire has no hunting instincts, she'd go "Aw, sweet". Stormsong would find the thing irritating, but probably not want to eat it. (Strangle it, maybe ...)

Drake and Redd would be a problem, though, and Molly would DEFINITELY be a problem ...

... well, remember where the plothole was with Wangsty!Pregnant!Mariel Sue?

But no, I don't think prising full-sized humans out of a kitten's biologically implausible orifices is the way to go. That's too disgusting even for me.

We might want to save Gaara and Rock Lee's offspring as well - raccoon/frog/human hybrids would make some interesting playmates for Moses Taggson ...

That is BRILLIANT. We need to have an Acid-testing Division in the PPC.

How do different types of Sues respond to different types of acid?

A lot could be done with that...

--Mystia, interest piqued

I am offering Idna and Yennj.

maybe for the MAke's thing memorial fund perhaps? She shoudl be quick, being a rabgbit, adn that seems ot be a main requirement for that fund, no?

although, if we do save her, the question is how do we do it wihtout revealing ourselves too early?

WEll, we coudl use a second set of eyes to help us with the charge list.

any idea what ot do with the other animal pet main characte4rs?

yeah, can;t forget the sexy no justu form. that is interesting move, no?

WEll, some we will ahve ot ecorcise, and others we deifnately have ot kill. just dont; knwo wehr eht ereal naturo adn suaske woudl eb hiding though.

I didn't dare look at any more. *glugs bleepka*

According to Wikipedia, rutting only happens in antlered members of the ungulate family (deer, sheep, antelope etc). Naruto seems to be some kind of human/cat/kyubi hybrid.

Herm!Naruto is, ugh! He's a male in canon (or Sai would have said something already) and so he should stay that way in fanfiction. Unless you're writing a genderswap AU that is. Or he's in his Sexy Jutsu form.

It says that Iruka is a school teacher, so maybe the author got suitcase and briefcase mixed up somehow. It makes an amusing mental image though.

Drowning works well for Naruto and Sasuke, as you suggested before. I don't know about the other characters though, since there's not enough of them in the first chapter to tell.

Pre-timeskip Sakura was pretty strong, if you count the fillers as canon. Before Sasuke left she ripped the mast off a boat and used it as a weapon.

it probably depends on if certain Agents will be able to control their instincts around what is basically a prey species, pink or not.

It's up to you really.

You finished the chapter? I skimmed over, and my head still hurt. You are though.
*passes over the bleepka*

They go into rut, I think, at least, those that do. Although, we think Naruto is mroe a werid herm than a true male.....

ERrrr, if they work in a place that uses suitcases?

Yeah, she is forceful. ALthough,l think is this pre-timeskip. So no freaky strength sakura, I think./

You thoughts on how ot kill the obiviosuly oc ones?

I just read the first chapter and my head hurts.

I'm not an animal expert but, last time I checked, male animals don't go into heat.

And since when did people carry suitcases to work?

Submissive Sakura? Don't make me laugh. Even in canon Sakura's a pretty forceful person, unless you're talking pre-timeskip Sakura with Sasuke in the vicinity.

"So about these strangely lucid and intense dreams you've been hav-"

"I don't talk about that."

"But they may be a clue! A prophecy!"

"I don't talk about that."

"But you can get us from point A to point B about six times faster if you just tell us-"

"I DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT."

How about Christine? ...It doesn't make a nice backwards name, though... My middle name's better. Allison! Good luck!

Enitsirhc? Eh-nit-serhk? Sounds sinister!

The pink rabbit which is ostensibly Sakura doesn't do much except punch Naruto-kitten-thing and get killed by Sasuke-kitten-thing, but anything which is violent towards these creepy Stu things is probably on our side. It would have to be neutered and probably renamed, but maybe it could be rehabilitated?