Subject: My biggest criticism?
Author:
Posted on: 2016-02-20 00:54:00 UTC

It's all rather... robotic.
Things just seem to 'happen.'
Kelly is playing a game of Chess, is losing, and doesn't seem to mind.
That's all we're given.
She doesn't grimace, doesn't mumble 'Drat,' to herself whenever the computer makes a good move, she doesn't quit, shrug, and sip a drink, or something like that.
Things just happen.

My advice?
Add some flair!
Go mad!
Snort some lead!
How do they react to their circumstances?
Kelly doesn't mind working with animals - does she smile because of that?
Or does she just stare stoically?
How does Injerd feel about that?
Does she think she's weird, and try and get some distance?
Does she start taking notes, or consider escape routes?
Consider that kind of stuff.

Don't actually snort lead, though.

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