Subject: Multiple concerns....
Author:
Posted on: 2016-02-19 13:05:00 UTC

Okay, your agent bio pages give me a few things that are eyebrow raising.

To start with, Kelly. You say she's aloof and guarded. She secretly cares about her partners. That's... it? We don't get much more? Your personality bit is just a few traits thrown together and don't really tell us how she acts or reacts to things. I could cut off the bit that tells us she reads trashy romance and it suddenly applies to a good deal of agents.

Why/how would Kelly have her sister's family just up and moved to a different continuum? Do they not have an extended family that would presumbly wonder where they went? Or her brother-in-law's family? Did her sister and b-i-l not have any say in the matter? This is a random thing that doesn't really... tell us anything.

Neuralyzer-immunity granting implants- I admit, it's been well over a decade since I watched the MiB cartoon, but I'm pretty sure I don't remember anything like that being canonical or even suggestibly canonical; the neuralyzer is pretty much the go-to tool in the MiB canons for preserving the secret that aliens are on Earth. The Ben 10 universe also has no real reason to negate such a thing- the Plumbers exist for a reason.

The agents who recruited her could have very easily had it removed or used any other alternative method to erase her memories and toss her back into her home-fic.

There's also a difference between being irreligious and telling off Aslan, who in his canon, most certainly exists and generally doesn't do anything to actually deserve being told off by a random PPC agent.

Injerd: Why does she have two names? Why the mention of usually a beard in disguise? You did not tell us much at all in this tiny bio.

Agent TBD: Holy macaroni, was that the general alarm I heard on the boat just now? Nope, it was just me reading this part:

'The rest of her personality will be determined once I’ve figured out how to build the perfect agent.'

The perfect agent does not exist.

This last one alone tells me you don't quite understand what we do with character creation as far as the PPC goes, if you make characters wholecloth for the setting.

As far as your stories go:

You have SpaG. Well done. There's a general forward movement in the writing, which indicates you have an understanding of time and movement.

Buuut you don't really show or do anything in the stories themselves. The characters show no real fleshing out. They actually seem kind of... boring, to be honest.

Random note about the first story with Agent TBD: I am currently wearing the blouse for a Navy Working Uniform right now in fact. I'm not entirely sure what you're going for with that sentence about it having faded first prior to dying. Is it because it's implied to be old? Because it doesn't work that way. Which is to say, if I were to take a brand new one, and shove it into one of the washers on the ship with a black dye packet it would turn it completely black without having to wait for it to fade (which would happen if I decided to just stand outside in the desert sun for a few hours. Easy peasy.). I would also gain some enemies in the Supply Department, but that is beside the point. Please both research things you include- because it will make people go '...No?' upon reading if they actually know the item in question- and make sure that you are clear about what you are talking about.

Lastly...

While I cannot speak for others, I did hear that you were giving others a difficult time when you asked for assistance with working on your characters and writing samples for asking for permission.

As a community, when people ask for help, we are all generally willing to give it if we have the time.

That said, it's incredibly frustrating when that advice gets ignored or tossed out; when that happens the result is people are generally less inclined to work with said person in the future when they ask for help again.

Boarders are not some mechanical tool to use to check something and then ignore if the results are not to your liking.

All that said,

Permission denied.

-July

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