Subject: I'm sorry, too.
Author:
Posted on: 2016-02-21 14:36:00 UTC
I definitely wasn't trying to imply their spouse's opinion didn't count; thus the agreement about the fading. It's a problem with the fabric. The 'contractors shouldn't wear NWUs' is a hot topic sort of issue. Some people feel very strongly on the matter. I was mostly just trying to avoid that in the first place because I don't have strong opinions on people wearing them after they get out. It's just a weird thing in general that can't really get explained properly, I guess.
As for what I used to say: Blunt is not the same thing as rude or insulting. Not always. I try to not be rude. The same thing with insults. Being straightforward isn't the same as being a jerk, and I try to avoid the latter. I'm sorry that my posts give you a spike of anxiety.
I agree that the phrase 'safe space' has been overused and in many ways invalidated; disagreement isn't unsafe or inherently unhealthy. Using it as such destroys the ability for there to be real safe spaces for people who need it.
As for everything that happened before with the IRC: I've noticed. I do similar myself, because it's better to avoid it instead of giving opportunity for things to get rehashed again, and again, and again. It's not healthy for the people involved or the community.
About the other person you had a falling out with: I know I don't know the whole story, but I think I remember the person you're talking about, since you had brought them up fairly often when we were still talking (if it is indeed the same person, which I suspect) and I'm very sorry that happened. It sucks when that sort of thing happens. It can screw things up for years.
I do agree that there was an awful lot of dogpiling going on; I was planning on saying something this morning (for me, I'm currently 10~ hours ahead of the US, give or take a few), before I saw your reply to me.
Thank you for the apology. It means a lot. I had treasured our friendship quite a bit when we had it.
-July