Subject: I think you may have misunderstood...
Author:
Posted on: 2016-02-19 12:31:00 UTC
... the purpose of the samples.
(I'm basing this purely on your second sample, since the first (as Hardric said) isn't accessible.)
There's a couple of reasons we ask you to write something for this.
1/ To see if you can spell, punctuate, etc. Great, you can.
2/ To see if you can show us your agents' character through your writing. I haven't read the bios, so what do I know about your agents' personalities?
-Kelly doesn't have strong emotions about things (eg, books), or emotional reactions to things (eg, bear, injured partner).
-Ing... may have a sense of humour, or may not realise she was being mocked for her name, or may not care.
That's... it. Your story shows me absolutely nothing of their characters. Given the "I have stated a fact about myself, now please state a fact about yourself" feel of the latter part, I'm not convinced they are characters.
3/ To see if you can capture the feel of the PPC.
Um... yeah, no. Change a few of the words around, and this could take place in any office.
So here's my question: what appeals to you, personally, about the PPC setting? What aspects of it do you enjoy reading about, thinking about? And how can you work those into even such a short story as this one?
PG hat is not being worn right now, though it's definitely to hand.
hS