Subject: Yeah, you're right.
Author:
Posted on: 2016-02-21 06:25:00 UTC
I realized, as soon as I posted it, that who I was really angry with was Iximaz, not you. I apologize for posting that as a reply to you; it should have gone to the other parts of the thread, it was unfair to make it all about you. I did see your telling Bramandin that their spouse's opinion didn't count, and if you didn't mean it like that, I apologize for misconstruing.
Mostly, if you want me to be honest, I remember you saying, often, that your role was to be blunt and shut people down when others were too polite to do so, and I still read that into your posts. Most of the time I don't read them at all, because I'm hoping that's not the case anymore, but I still get that familiar stab of fear and anxiety, regardless. And if they are, I don't have the guts or the inclination to get into it anymore, anyway.
You can have whatever space you like. Again, this is me responding badly to things that remind me of a certain handful of people around here (and elsewhere; this is a problem not exclusive to PPC space, I understand) who used "safe space" as a way to say "Anything that I disagree with is an attack on my opinion/feelings, and hence unsafe." Again, I realize now that you were saying nothing of the sort, and I do apologize for my short fuse on the subject. It's become such a common shorthand that I react badly.
As a general rule, I don't reply to you . . . pretty much ever, mostly even if I do think you're wrong. Precisely because of the history there, with IRC, with Data, Maslab, Miah, etc. I know full well I haven't let it go, again, because I have a stab of anxiety every time I see something like this come up. So I try to just avoid you, and avoid conflict unless it's something serious. But occasionally, I see someone being dogpiled in a manner that seems incredibly bullying, and feel I should say something. I absolutely should not have said it to you. I wasn't paying enough attention to context, jumped to conclusions, assumed harmful intent, and was overall a dick. I'm sorry for that.
As to what happened to me - someone I considered a friend was manipulative towards me and others, and lashed out at me repeatedly, until I stopped trusting them, stopped considering them a friend, and eventually stopped giving them the benefit of the doubt. It's not entirely your fault; someone else did this same thing at about the same time everything went so wrong here, and I think, in hindsight, I'm projecting the fallout from both relationships onto you, since I no longer interact with him.
Tl;dr - you're right, I've been a jerk, and I'm sorry.
I stand by what I said about dogpiling, bullying, assuming the worst, and GOOD LORD the disability conversation, what the heck is going on here, but you are absolutely right that you deserved none of that, and I apologize.