Title: The Cabin
Author: Lemony Eggnog
Summary: The most uptight agent of them all finally learns to relax with a little help from a friend. Supernumerary/J. Robinson, genderbending, M/M, D/s, casual drug use.
Rating: M
Genre: Friendship/Romance

Actual story on Gdocs. Again, NSFW!

(( OOC: Apparently everyone else is jumping on the NSFW train at this late stage in the game, so I am, too! If I don't post something now I might not ever, so here goes. It's, uh, longer than I can fit in a Board post, so yeah.

(( For the record, this story is intended as one of the rare stealth goodfics that crop up every now and then in the fic archives. 100% non-canon, but not actually bad. YMMV on the subject material, but I did my best.

(( I'm gonna go breathe into a paper bag now. ^_^;

(( ~Neshomeh wrote [the start of] a lemon ohgodohgodohgod... ))

((OOC: The name is a reference. The first person to figure it out and explain EVERY PART gets free badfic in a pairing of their choice. Answers to the address you normally send angry letters. =] ))

((Further OOC: This is extremely, egregiously NSFW and NSFB, so please exercise due caution. It is also liberally peppered with misogynist and leeringly racist slurs of the kind made by the (generally male, uniformly slavering) more MRA-inclined writers of bad het that clutter up the Internet like a rotting seagull in a drainpipe. If you are triggered by such things, please take this into consideration; it is intentionally objectifying and disgusting, representing the personal politics of someone who likely considers themself an 'incel' ('involuntary celibate', for those who don't speak Turd) and 'nice guy'. I would also ask that readers remember that the views of this character are not my own, to the point where if I met the little used sanitary towel of a human being I'd probably punch him. Quite a lot. But only if I couldn't find a bottle.))

---

AN: Yes, this story concerns the BEST TIME LORD, and yes, there may be some AU elements. DWI. Any flames from antiporn feminazis will be used to chargrill blue steak, pictures of which you will find on my MRAtkins blog "Protein: Food Of Alphas".

The Notary checked her makeup for the fifth time. Appearances were important, she had always said; without looking like you meant business, you couldn't get what you wanted. She selected a vivid lemon-yellow lipstick to match her eyeshadow and applied it liberally to her face, puckering and popping her lips just so before applying the lacquer. The lippy went into her bra strap in case she needed to reapply it later, but only because the F-sized cups were fully occupied by her soft, mocha-tinted twins. Upon reflection, she decided to hide a little something extra in her ample cleavage. Hopefully it would be a pleasant surprise.

She slipped slinkily into the bruise-purple latex suit, adjusting the transparent gas mask over the top so that passers-by could see just who she was - the thought of them seeing her and knowing her for the slut she truly was made her shiver with incalculable pleasure. It clung to her ample frame deliciously, the rubber squeaking and straining as her gorgeously firm twin sticky toffee puddings of buttocks were forced into its tight embrace. Her long hair of raven was decorated with golden chains, like stars in a winter's night, and the zipper on the front of the suit pushed her wondrous cleavage up further, like two giant Maltesers half-dipped in the nice plum sauce you get served in upmarket Chinese restaurants. She looked very much like she felt she deserved to look; like an object, suitable for one use alone; the pleasure of others, sometimes her fellow women, sometimes her betters.

Time Lord hauteur was all very well, but it totally disintegrated when presented with a genuine alpha male, the daddy she'd never had, the strong presence she'd always craved.

God, she thought, I'm getting juiced up just thinking about it.

She checked her zips were all firmly zipped - not that a good tug from a brawny, hairy, manly arm wouldn't free her body for use - and, with a wiggle her dusky, bootylicious bod was forced to give from the rubber suit's built-in eight-inch stripper heels, she set off in pursuit of her incentive, her raisondette, her reason for being. A proud and beautifully alpha man.

A man such as Agent Supernumerary.

This man was tall and strong, his customary suit hiding the body of a veritable Adonis, his regal demeanour and pale skin as sharp and striking a contrast to the Notary's seductively exotic shade as his perfectly-tailored black Hugo Boss suit and tie were to the woman's latex and heels that left both so little and so much to a suitably red-blooded imagination. Numesy, as he let his peers call him, had finished his daily workout in the gym, and was therefore rereading The Fountainhead. Some of the other agents meditated in their time off, but that was something only sissies did. The real man, Numesy knew, was always at peace with himself; if one had to find it by sitting still and humming in the manner of some foreign mystic or other, well, that was indicative of bluepill-thinker status.

The door opened and in she walked, a vision in slippery-slick rubber and the gas mask that (to the delight of all) prevented her from speaking, only grunting... or moaning. Numesy barely even bothered to look up; idly, he stubbed out his cigarillo in the cut-glass ashtray and pointed to his knee with it, turning a page with his thumb and nodding sagely at another of Ayn Rand's beautifully expressed ideas. Alas, reading it again would have to wait.

The Notary giggled a little in anticipation as she tottered over to the alpha male's knee, though (knowing her place) she took the time to pour him another Bourbon and let the ice plink into the glass before bending over him, her fecund, purpure rump wiggling in delight at the thought of what she was about to receive. Numesy, on the other hand, was entirely unmoved. He was a male; she was a female; this was simply how things were. She was prepared for his manliness as might any female in the animal kingdom for her commanding and controlling alpha, or as she might have done in days gone by before the SJWs had taken over the media and Internet. He simply closed his hardback The Fountainhead - as a real man, he had no need of a bookmark, knowing what page he had been on - and switched to Anthem instead. He always had liked a good horror story.

A single swish through the air to test his swing, and Numesy brought the hardback volume of The Fountainhead down hard across the Notary's jiggling, latex-covered buttocks, the two plump hillocks of such chocolatey delight they might have been found in bowls of Coco Pops allowing a delicious rush of submissive desire and lust for the hand of a real man to run through her slender but amply-tittied form. Again the book fell, as hard as he bothered to, while all the Notary could do was lean forward and let her whole body move to the blows, womanly chest bouncing and swaying (her breasts were those of a real woman, which is to say entirely natural), backside reddening beneath the semi-translucent latex of her slinky, gracefully feminine catsuit - and when it came to people of her colour, the fact that she was reddening up as quickly as she was right then was a testament to Numesy's majesty as a real dominant man, for only an alpha male of the highest rank and order could raise such a beautiful shade of crimson from a humble, womanly bootay in such a short space of time.

The spanking went on until Numesy had finished reading Anthem, during which the Notary was brought to dizzyingly intense orgasms simply from being so close to such a perfect incarnation of masculinity, and would have been even had he not been obliged by her very presence to swat her twin hip-mounted spacehoppers with the pinnacle of Objectivist literature, and therefore literature in general. He closed the book, crashed the other into the Notary's beautifully ripe backside one final, deliciously sensual time, drained the last of his Bourbon, and snapped his fingers. Her booty still swishing and shimmying like the balls of a mahogany executive desk toy, the Notary rose to her killer-heeled feet and set about refilling Numesy's glass, removing the used ice and giving him some fresh. When she turned around, he was entirely naked, his scepter of Ares standing proud and free, and she was as lost to it as any female would be in such a situation. She almost didn't realise she'd fallen to her knees in preparation for him, but the silly girl had quite forgotten she'd put her gas-mask on, and Numesy was obliged to discipline her with the back of his hand. Thus chastened, she turned again, presenting him with her womanly entrance, and as he unzipped her to get at her prize, she noticed the door was still open.

And then he began to make hard, strong, manly love to her, and she didn't notice anything for several hours thereafter.

It was really nice of Desdendelle to invite her over for tea, the Aviator thought as she walked down the Generic Grey corridors of HQ. The Floater really did make the best tea, she wasn't exaggerating when she said that. For some strange reason, Zeb had declined to come along. Oh, well. More for her.

Hopefully the Librarian wouldn't be there, the smug bastard. The Aviator’s face felt hot just thinking about him. Authors above, but he made her so angry all the time, it was a wonder she hadn't punched him more than she had.

She arrived outside RC log10e and went in without knocking, like Des had said. She stopped short when she saw the Librarian sitting at the table— alone. She did a quick sniff to be sure, but it was already fairly obvious Desdendelle wasn't there.

The Librarian looked from his tablet up at her entrance, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, I suppose you think this is funny?" the Aviator snapped. "You sent me the message, didn't you? Well, ha ha, very funny. What, did you want to tell me how much of a stupid ape I was for falling for your trick?"

"I did not send any message," the Librarian replied, standing up in an attempt to seem more authoritative. Though the Time Lord wasn't quite as tall as the Lady, he still radiated his centuries of experience. And haughtiness, but that goes without saying. "My partner left not several minutes ago, saying he was going to your response center for tea."

The Aviator and the Librarian stared at each other for a while. "Our partners set us up," the Aviator finally said, feeling her face heat up. "Guess you get out of being punched for now."

"Your primitive, violent tendencies once again show your immaturity," the Librarian said cooly. "It's no wonder you joined the DMS. Anywhere else would not have been able to hold your attention. I wouldn't expect any less from a human."

"You—!" The Aviator strode over and made to jab a finger against the Librarian's chest, but he caught her by the wrists. She tore herself free. "You're an asshole," she spat, feeling her hearts beating faster. What was the deal with this Time Lord?

Unbeknownst to the Aviator, the Librarian was having a similar reaction. This girl never ceased to get on his nerves. She was immature, intellectually inferior, and, he felt it was important to remember, not a real Time Lady. And yet there was something about her that drew him to her, something he might not have noticed had it not been for his partner's silly mocking. Maybe it was her willingness to stand up to him, something not many people bothered to do. Maybe it was the memory of the first time he'd seen her, vulnerable and scared and searching for answers, and how vastly different that was from the real her. Maybe it was seeing just how much she had changed since then, how strong she’d become.

For a moment, his emotions got the better of him, and he let a brief feeling of attraction pass from him to her.

The Aviator suddenly froze, her face flushing when she felt the Librarian's emotions. Was she just imagining things, caught up in the moment as she was? But no, the feeling was definitely there. Before she realized what was happening, she was leaning in, and the Librarian was doing the same, and suddenly their lips had met.

It lasted barely a second, but when they pulled back, both their faces were red.

"Um," the Aviator said, feeling like her brain had short-circuited.

The Librarian moved his hands from her wrists to around her waist. "So eloquent," he murmured, raising an eyebrow. "Tell me, have you always been so good with words, or is that a regeneration-specific trait?"

"Oh, shut up," the Aviator said, and leaned in again.

Their second kiss lasted much longer than the first, and both Time Lords were pressed so close together they could feel the pounding of each others’ hearts. When they came up for air, the Librarian leaned his forehead against the Aviator’s, sending her the memory of the first time she’d punched him.

“You deserved that, you know,” the Aviator murmured.

“I did,” the Librarian agreed, leaning away slightly so he could look her in the eye. “But that’s not important. It was right after that when my oh so subtle partner began his teasing. Do you remember?”

“Of course I do,” the Aviator said, only a little annoyed. “Perfect recall. Do you remember?”

The Librarian raised a delicate eyebrow at her. “Are you going to shut up on your own or do I need to do that for you?”

“How about you answer some questions instead?” the Aviator said, pulling away and sitting at the table. “Like why you’ve always been so hostile to me if this is how you really feel?”

The Librarian sat as well, interlacing his fingers. “Simple. Because you are not a real Time Lady.”

“Again, not really something I had any control over,” the Aviator reminded him. Her irritation was so great the Librarian could feel it, and he winced.

“To be fair, I am not entirely sure why I have indulged in such follies as…”

“Snogging?” the Aviator suggested, raising her own eyebrow. “If it makes you feel any better, you were pretty damn good at it.”

“Why, thank you. I’m sure our partners would be delighted to hear that.” The Librarian sighed. “I will not sugarcoat things. Quite frankly, I have not the slightest idea why I seem to find you attractive. You are not learned, you are immature, and you certainly have an inflated sense of self-worth.”

“Look who’s talking,” the Aviator said, scowling at him.

The Librarian held up a hand. “Allow me to finish,” he said. “Despite this, your dedication to and adeptness at your job are certainly admirable, and I have grown to respect you in the course of our time working together. If you had been born a Time Lady, I am certain you would have been on par with, if not above, most of your peers.”

“Gosh, thanks.” The Aviator peered at the Librarian. “How old are you, anyway? Like, exactly.”

The Librarian shrugged. “About three centuries. I am not very old by Time Lord standards. The age difference is negligible when you take into account our life spans.”

The Aviator smiled. “I’m not so sure my parents would see it that way, but alright. They’ll be all, ‘couldn’t you have gone for someone who isn’t an entire century younger than you?’”

The Librarian, whose hand had been inching across the table towards the Aviator’s, froze. “Parents?” he nearly stammered.

“Oh, right, you were Loomed, weren’t you?” the Aviator said, deliberately misunderstanding his cause for hesitation. “Well, you see, when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much—”

“I am well aware of how sexual reproduction works,” the Librarian snapped.

Both Time Lords blushed suddenly.

“Well, I don’t know about going that far,” the Aviator said, taking the Librarian’s hand and grinning mischievously, “but would you like to take this to the couch?”

She’d barely finished speaking before the Librarian’s mouth was on hers.

Meanwhile, back in RC 3-Apple-14…

“So,” Des said, pouring a cup of tea for himself and a bowl for Zeb and sitting down in the armchair, “how long do you think it’ll take for them to realize they’ve been tricked?”

“Oh, not long at all,” Zeb said, lapping at his tea. “The real question is, what will they do when they realize it?”

“Probably do unspeakable things to us,” Des said cheerfully. He sipped his tea and sighed contentedly. “I bet Arinaviator punches Librarian again, how much do you want to bet?”

“I’m not taking you up on that,” Zeb said, laughing so hard he nearly upset his bowl. “Say, want to watch something while we wait for them to hunt us down?”

But as Des and Zeb waited, neither of their partners came bursting into the response center, demanding to know what the big idea was. After an hour had passed, they began to get worried.

“You don’t think they’ve killed each other?” Zeb said, his ears flicking in agitation.

“Or at the very least tried to.” Des stroked his goatee thoughtfully. “Or perhaps they— nah, they wouldn’t…”

“Wouldn’t what?” Zeb asked, fairly certain he knew what Des was talking about but wanting confirmation.

“Never you mind. What say you we go back to my RC to make sure nothing’s happened that requires a trip to Medical?” Without waiting for Zeb, Des got up and hurried to the door. Zeb followed at his heels.

When they opened the door to RC log10e, both their mouths fell open.

The Aviator’s and the Librarian’s coats had been carelessly tossed on the floor, and the Time Lords in question were on the couch— or, rather, the Aviator was on the couch. The Librarian was more on the Aviator. His hands were tangled in her hair, and they were kissing with a passion that made Des and Zeb feel very uncomfortable. Neither of them had been expecting an outcome like this.

“Is this a bad time?” Des said lightly.

The Librarian leapt up as though stung. “You— what are you—?” he stuttered, for once lost for words as he fumbled to re-button his shirt, which was nearly hanging off his shoulders. His normally-tidy hair was mussed and there was a pink tinge to his face. “You said you would be gone for tea!”

“That was an hour ago,” Des said, averting his eyes from a very red-faced Aviator when she sat up to reveal she was wearing a tank top that only barely qualified as decent, showing off her nice figure. “Don’t tell me you two were—?”

“That is absolutely none of your business,” the Librarian said, doing up the last button and grabbing his longcoat off the floor. Without a second look at the Aviator, he strode into the RC’s other room and slammed the door shut behind him.

Des turned his head to the Aviator, though he still kept his gaze away. “Explain?”

“Not really sure I can,” the Aviator said, still blushing furiously as she grabbed her discarded shirt from the back of the sofa and shrugged it on. “One minute we were insulting each other, and the next—” She shrugged, grinned, and would have blushed even harder if that were possible.

“So, you and him, huh?” Zeb said, shaking his head. “Well, it’s about time!”

The Aviator’s fingers slipped as she was doing up her shirt. “You—?”

Zeb nodded. “Seriously, it was so obvious you two liked each other, even I could see it, and I’m not very good at spotting that sort of thing.”

“I thought it would take longer than this, honestly,” Des said, breathing a small sigh of relief when the Aviator was finally covered. “Mind you, now Librarian’s going to make life miserable for interrupting his… fun.”

“I’ll see if I can’t get him to take it easy on you,” the Aviator said, retrieving her own coat and pulling it on. “He’s really not that bad once you get to know him.”

“I’m so sure,” Des said dryly. “When you say ‘not that bad’, you mean ‘not that bad a kisser’, I suppose? Because he’s still an asshole.”

The Aviator lobbed a ball of lint at his head. “Shut it, you,” she said, but she was smiling.

((OOC: NSFW. It’s a tad explicit.))

A\N: I REGRET NOTHING

I just thout the three of them go relly good together so here I wrote this for you whom agree!! R&R ;D

The Librarian was restlessly. The Aviator and the reader were asleep after a wild sex session, but he was restlessly. He wanted more.

He wanted it all.

The Aviator nuzzle closer to him and he stroked her red hair (AN: I now Aviator is black-haired but this way it’s better so I changed it). She rapped one hand around his waste, her fingers cool against his heated skin. This act enflamed his desires and he ran a hand on the Aviator’s curvy curves.

This wake Reader up. “Hey dont egnore me” she said, pressing her curvier curves on his back.

“Like anyone could egnore you”, the Aviator said and leaned over the Librarian to kiss her deep. Wow the reader was so beautiful and sexxy and perfect she could loose herself in her eyes.

Thogh the Aviator was allso beautiful and sexy an perfect plus she had really long hair which was also verry nice ;)

But everyone knew teh Reader was the hottest because everyone wanted her but she only wanted the librarian and the aviator and maybe some other people ;)) but mostly the timelords because everone knows timelords a

The Reader kissed her back really well and pressed against the Librarian really close. He huged them bath. “Ur both so sex” he sed. though thinking he liked the Aviator more becaue her curves were nicer and her hair was also very nice it shimmered like fire.

“I know” The Aviator said smiling mischivosly. The Reader smiled with a really pretty smile and missed her again because she knew the Librarian loved too watch them kos because our was really hot

The Aviator got up and pinned the Reader to the bed. “Your pretty hot too” she said and traled kisses everywhere. Teh Reader gasped and titled her head with her curly hair that was not in a bun this time because she was in bed

Suddenly they were all covered on hot chocolate! Librarina’s partner, the EVIL DES, has did so so they wouldnt be able to have sax!

“MUWHAHAHAHAHA!!!111!!!1!” lafed DES “now you cant hev sax forever@”

The Aviator just giggled and licked it off purring like a sexy cat. teh Reader helped her and then they locked some of it off the Reader because she wanted it and then they both turned to the Librarian and pounced on him who was watching them lick thechocolate off both of them at once and stated to luck the chocolate that was on him too so they could foil the EVIL DES forever

Then the Reader pushed the avuator off her and grabbed the Librarian kissing him ferocosly like a tiger in heat. The Aiator joined in pasionatly.

She wanted the Reader sooo much it made her insides cry and

There was lots of rolling around and then some tickling happened and then some whips were got and the Linrarian was punished for being a very naghty boy. He was also whupped by the aViator’s hair which was like fire (lol in more way than one!)

But then! DES APPEARED! And he took all the whupes away! “SNOW YOU CANT HAVE XAX” HE SAID

“Shows what you know.” Said the Reader. “All we need is or bodies but you can't take my Grey tie because it's my turn to be Christian grey now come here' and she tied the EVIL DES to the bed " okay " she said to the aviator "now we make him see how good we are together" and she missed the aviator to start showing him and the librarian was watching,

The Reader and tHe aviator lie on the bed kissing eachother all over the place because they were Timeladies in love and everyone knows Timeladies ate the most paissonate of lovers when they get started in frenzy!!! Like tigers in heat!!!!!

And also the EVIL DES was only trying to stop them because he has been JEALOUS THE WHILE TIME because teh librarian for to be with two timeladies but he only had a human and now he was a cyborg but timelords can fix that because otherwise it would be to weird

And then they had exteremyl good sex while des watched cuz he wasstill tied to the bed the end.

***

The Aviator was silent for a long moment. “What the hell?” she finally said. “I don’t have any firsthand experience, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t supposed to work like that!”

“The bad spelling generally isn’t part of it, yes,” the Reader agreed. She had looked nauseated at various points during her reading, but was now suppressing laughter.

The Aviator eyeballed her. “Are you laughing at me?”

“At the nonsense, mostly,” the Reader said soothingly. “It’s too ridiculous to rage at, past a certain point.”

“Wait, I’m evil now?” Des sounded more confused than anything else.

“Hey, at least you’re not screwing the Librarian and the kid you practically raised,” the Aviator said, jabbing a finger at him.

“This is preposterous!” the Librarian roared. “To think I would even touch that faker! Let alone… do that!”

“So you would touch me?” the Reader asked quietly. She sounded amused.

The Librarian just stared at her. She patted his shoulder, biting back a grin.

“Um, Lump, both of them are right here beside you,” Des informed his partner.

To emphasize his point, the Aviator punched the Librarian’s shoulder. “I feel obligated to point out my second body was very definitely not curvy,” she said, much calmer now. She looked down at herself. “...Kind of makes me wonder why they decided to go for that one.”

“I reckon it’s because of the Godiva hair.” Des shrugged. “What’s bothering me, though, is that they got the evil laugh completely wrong. Not to mention, I’m evil now?”

The Reader shrugged. “I think we redeemed you at the end or something,” she said.

“But I don’t need redeeming!” Des complained. “I’m fine as I am now!”

“Yes, but you were evil in the nonsense,” the Reader said helpfully. “So we redeemed you.”

“You know what does need redeeming?” the Aviator said, standing up and reaching for her staser. “This fic. I say we kill it. With fire, if at all possible. And possibly spoons.”

The Reader shrugged. “Why not. It’d solve the question of where am I going to find chocolate that works like that, at least…”

((OOC: Everything in the author's note except for half of the last sentence is true.))
AN: Hello, all! So, back in the dark days of high school, I read two pretty good stories with a similar "half-human hybrid kids get in trouble and/or go on adventures" deal: James Patterson's Maximum Ride books (Angel OP, plz nerf) and antialiasis' very awesome and equally dark Morphic. (It's the second entry under "chaptered".) Morphic in particular inspired me to create twelve different human-Pokémon hybrid characters. The story I originally wanted to write for them--a mildly epic child-soldier drama set on the Sevii Islands--never got past two different versions of chapter one, so I've farmed them out to various branches of the PPC! Hopefully this works better for them than the other thing. Enjoy and please review!

Chapter One: Kylie and James
Somewhere in Medical...

Nurse-in-training Kylie handed a scalpel and a set of plastic gloves to Nurse Marian McKay. "You were looking for these, right?" she asked.

"These'll do. Thanks, newbie," said Marian, setting the scalpel down to put the gloves on. "Have you finished organizing the World One pain medications yet?"

Kylie scratched the back of her neck. "James is taking care of that...I think."

"Go check," Marian ordered. She picked up the scalpel and marched off toward whoever had gotten him/her/their/xirself badly wounded this time.

Kylie shrugged sadly and headed back the way she'd come. When she got to the storage room, she saw James chatting with a blonde and brown-eyed nurse.

"...And check this out," he said. He raised his arms in front of him in an X. The sharp leaves sticking out of his wrists began to glow green, then merged into a longer one. "Leaf Blade!" He ran forward a few steps and sliced the air samurai-style. "Oh, hey, Kylie. Nurse Lillian here wanted to see what all we can do."

"I don't think we've ever had human-Pokémon hybrids working here," said Lillian. "Are you all reforming Sues and Stus?"

"Uh...no, ma'am," said Kylie nervously. "At least, I hope we're not. To be honest, I barely remember any of my former life at all." She felt her back warming up. Calm down; she's not a scientist, not really she told herself. You're safe now. No one's going to make you fight or run mazes.

James stood up and made an annoyed sound. "We're semi-fic blips with half an edgy backstory each. We may be screwed up, but we're not thatscrewed up."

"No, I suppose not," Lillian admitted. "I'll be sure to arrange full examinations for all twelve of you. My specialties are really Wraiths and Middle-Earth species, but I've never examined a Pokémon-verse agent before. I can't pass up this scientific opportunity! I heard one girl can see the future, is that true?"

Kylie's back got warmer. "Yes, ma'am, that'd be Cassie."

"Short for Cassandra. Of course." Lillian rolled her eyes. "Well, you two have a job that needs doing, yes? Then do it. I'll see you around!"

James frowned as she retreated. "I don't think I trust her. I don't want her poking around with us."

"She's a doctor, we'll be fine," said Kylie.

"So were the whack-jobs who created us, and look how that turned out. ...Wait. Bad example."

Kylie undid and redid her cornflower-blue ponytail. "Please, let's just finish working, all right? The sooner we get done, the sooner we can go find Neil or Cassie or Aria. I wonder how they're all doing?"

Title: Suicide Boys
Rating: SUPER HOT LEMON!!
Summary: Supernumerary is asked to make up with Suicide, but things don't go according to his plan. If you want to know what happens next, read the fic! WARNING: SLASH!!! ^.-
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A/N: This is set after Ring Child. Nume and Su have so much tension in that mission, I just had to give them a chance to let it out!

Supernumerary stood outside the doorway of Suicide's RC, his heart in his stomach. He was very angry at Jenny for making him apologize to Suicide. The man was everything he despised, wrapped up in one contemptible package, and having to kowtow before him was nothing short of shameful. He knocked on the door, crossing his fingers that the Scythian would be otherwise occupied, and he could put this off for another day.

Much to his disappointment, the door opened, revealing none other than Suicide himself. Nume's heart jumped dramatically from his stomach to his throat, as he felt his face burn read. The older man was wearing nothing more than a pair of shorts, and his long, silken silver hair was tousled, as if he had only woken up recently. Even the numerous scars did little to mar his comely visage.

This was the true reason that Nume hated him. As contemptible as the contents might be, he had to admit that the packaging was very attractive indeed.

Nume averted his face in a vain attempt to hide the blush he could feel spreading across his face. "Jenny wanted to talk to you about what happened on that last mission. Said it would be good for us to work out all our feelings." He spat out the last word with all the disgust he could muster - a significant amount indeed, given the source and subject matter.

Suicide shrugged casually, and stood away from the door, beckoning the other man in. "I can do talking, if that's what you want. But I doubt your fist could handle another fight."

"Idiot," Nume muttered

Then they had sex, and it was very sexy.

So Iwrote this back when Ifirst heard that these two had gotten together and first i didn't really like it but then it turns out they're adorable and fluffy and stuff and so Ithought i'd write something where they're happy!! and then i thought what if they met but it was different and this happened!! so i wrote this and Ireally hope you like it rnr kisses!! :D DW**

%^&(*

Agent Des was walking down the hallway in HQ when Agent Dawn bounced up to him.

"Ihave a flamethrower," she proclaimed, brandishing it and grinning.

Agent Des smild back. "You do. Isee it."He paused. "Didn't you already have one?"

"Nope!"Dawn's grin grew. "First one! But it's awesome and Ilove it and T'Zar says that as long as Ifollow the rules, Ican keep it, and it'll be mine and everything's awesome!"

"That's great,"said Des. "Er--"

"It is,"agreed Dawn. Her blue-green eyes sparkled. "It's fantastic. I'm going to go show everyone in HQ now, bye!" And before Des could say anything, she bounced away, going "Don't think of people...don't think of people..."

Seconds later, she turned around and came back.

"Yes?"said Des. He was smiling at her even though he was confused, because she hadn't even hugged him. Although maybe that was because of the flamethrower. but he was still confused, because he and Agent Dawn were dating.

"Do you have a flamethrower?" asked Agent Dawn. Her eyes were wide and her hair was in a long braid that seemed shorter than Agent Des remembered. She was very pretty!!

"No,"said Agent Des, "I don't." He smiled at her. His smile was also pretty! But not as pretty as Dawn's hair

"Aw,"Dawn said. She grinned at him. "You should totally get one! Because flamethrowers are awesome." And then she left and Des was still confused.
But he let Dawn go because he had a mission that the Librarian told him about, and because Dawn was obviously busy but she would totally tell him what it was all about later!

So then later he saw agent Dawn and she said to him "Oh hi Des, Ihaven't seen you all day!"

And Des said, "but you saw me earlier and you had a flamethrower"and then Dawn remembered that once when she was eighteen and in the DOGA she had run around HQ qith her new flamethrower that she was really excited about and she had accidentally time-traveled to the future and met Agent Des without knowing who he was! And so then they hugged and everything was good and eighteen year old Dawn got safely to her present but then back in timeto talk to Agent Dfydd because she likes Elves and Davydd is an Elf and realy cool.

THE END!!

**

Dawn McKenna stared at her screen. "...wow."

"Wow?" Jacques Bonnefoy leaned over her shoulder, and then started to laugh. "Well, that writer's got you pegged."

"I know," Dawn said. "And it's creepy. I mean, that's pretty much exactly eighteen-year-old me, right down to running around showing my new flamethrower to random people. And Des isn't too far off, for most of it. If there wasn't this weird lack of spaces, and it didn't go sloppy at the end...and if it was tightened up a bit...it might actually be good. A bit random, but good. How'd she manage it?"

"Luck?" suggested the former Jack Harkness character replacement. He dragged over a chair and sat down. "A writing class?"

"Hm, maybe." Dawn reached up to pet the gold fire-lizard perched on her shoulder; the gold crooned. "Maybe just coincidence. At least it's not scarring."

"There is that," agreed Jacques. He offered his hand to the fire-lizard; she sniffed it, and then butted it with her head. "How'd you get this, anyway? You're not going into it for a mission, are you?"

"Nah." Dawn shut off the screen and turned to grin at him. "I was just curious. We've got that shield, see."

"That's good," Jacques said. He grinned back. "So," he said, drawing out the word suggestively. "I hear Agent Des has a pretty smile."

"Oh, don't start," Dawn scoffed. After a moment she added, "And he does, yeah."

Jacques chuckled. "Although I hear your hair is prettier. Now, I've never thought of holding a beauty contest where one person's smile is judged by another person's hair, but--"

Dawn groaned. "Does this end in a story of some sort?"

"Maybe."

"...does it involve French?"

Jacques considered this. "Yes," he said at last. "Wait, no. That's the time with the--well, nevermind," he added. "No, this one doesn't involve French."

Dawn waved a hand. "Carry on, then."

Jacques leaned back, grinned, and began to tell his story.

---
((This was such fun to write--both the twaddle above and the reaction shot. Agent Des will, likely, never meet Pyro!Dawn, but it came to mind this evening along with 'what if the real Dawn saw it' (she's got a history of seeing the badfic, with the Game of Romes reaction shot last year) 'and was creeped out or something'. And so then I sat down and wrote it, and Jacques made his way in, and just...it was a nice warm-up for part 3 of 50 Shades of Tacitus, I'll say that. Twaddle ahoy! ~DF

Once upon the time, there was a cat who lived in HQ. It was a nice cat with soft black fur and gentle green eyees, and one day someone decided they wanted to have a baby, but they could'nt.

"I know," they said "I will make the cat my baby,"

So they took the cat and used the disguise Generator to turn it into a elf baby and raised it as their baby and the baby was named Dafydd and he was an elf.

Dafydd went on to be very famos by killing lots of Mary Sues but then one day after his three thousand birthday his mom came up to him and said "Dafidd theres something I need to tell you." "What's that"? he asked, "Well she said "Your really a cat.:

And so she reversed the disguise and Dafydd turned back into a cat!!!

"NOOO!" Cried Constance who was in the middle of tending to her and Dafidd's children which for some unexplained reason until now had turned out to be kittens.

THE END.

It has come to my attention that most writers are portraying Middle-earth in far too positive a light, as if its inhabitants actually had enough brain cells to realize that, hey, women are people too! So I'm writing to counteract that, and all of the stupid Sues out there. Hate those things.

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Alexia Ravenscroft hated her looks: she was far too pretty, and that was dangerous in Middle-earth. In these lands, beauty was weakness. The oppressive patriarchy that permeated the world from east to west brokered no femininity not in subjection to men. That made Alexia Ravesncroft a target.

So when the opportunity came to join the Fellowship under the guise of a man, she took it gladly and with a grim laugh. "Who shall care if I die?" she had asked her abusive stepfather, Elrond. "Not I! Nor you, old fool!" Then Elrond had slapped her; such was Middle-earth.

Now she was travelling with the Fellowship, or, as she called it, the Patriarchy Personified. There was the Old Patriarch, Gandalf; the Arch Patriarch, Aragorn; the Beta Patriarch, Boromir; and all of the rest were Sub-Patriarchs. None of them would even look at her if they guessed she was female; cursed misogynists. But such was Middle-earth.

During the day she stayed silent and at night she had to listen to them grilling meat and talking around their campfire about how stupid and silly and horrible women were. All the while she burned with anger and the knowledge that if she could just use her Powers, she could wipe them all out.

Worst of all were thoughts of her stepsister, Arwen. Arwen was the pretty perfect princess of Middle-earth-- she represented what women were to the patriarchy. Pretty, pretty stupid, and worthless for anything other than her looks. Elrond loved her (said he loved her, more like) and was always telling Alekia that she "should be more like Arwen" or "why can't you be more like Arwen?" or "you could learn from Arwen."

All in all, Alexia had a horrid life, and it was all because of the patriarchy.

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Reviews, people! Just plain good writing doesn't keep the lights on! :P

The time had come for Agent Super Badass McGee to ascend to the throne of the PPC. The treacherous Sunflower Official had been slain by the faithful, Hetero and awesome lords of righteousness for propogating falsehoods.

McGee smirked grimly and a look came to his blue-green eyes.as he drew his Mateba Auto-revolver with the chrome finish and customized to have an extra shot from his long black trenchcoat. The gun was called "Samantha" and was engraved "To My Son: Makes-Things." Makes-things was still good and straight, Mcgee thought to himself as a grim smile came to his lips. But there was still work to do. The whiteness and heteroness of the PPC was still in jeopardy. Women were still thinking and not doing their jobs, which was obeying the superior male agents in every way possible.

He made his way to the office, killing any evil agent of the PPC that he came into contact with. "Show's over, wuss." he laughed as he went into the office of the Sunflower Official who was totally on the phone with Obama (Show us the birth certificate, Commie!) and they were totally plotting to stop America from being the straight, white, male-centered home it really was.

"You can't stop us from making the world weak!" the Sunflower Official smirked from where he was on the phone and Obama laughed wickedly.

"Yez. Zoon ve shall have all 'merica and the world suffering under the heel of the French COwards und russin monsters. Hahahaha." He laughed evilly.

McBadass laughed as well, and my eyes were blue-green and gimlet as he took aim with his revolver. "After I kill this commie coward, you're next, fool!" he shouted defiantly at the Viewscreen

Osama (Hah! See what I did there?) shrieked in fear and shut off the screen, having totally messed his pants in fear of Badass McGee's American Maleness.

The SO cleared his throat and drew his own gun, which wasn't really a gun but a fake, flimsy-looking Popgun 'cause he didn't believe that guns were awesome (What a coward!) "You will die!" He shouted as he pulled the trigger and the only thing that came out was a flag saying "Biden!"

McGee laughed and fired his awesome revolver into the Sunflower Official's face. As the flower exploded into a field of blood and gore, spraying the entiire offie with his cowardly guts, McGee went over to his chair, which was big and black and plush. He sat down in it and said to the entire PPC: "I'm in charge now."

And the PPC cheered because they knew that their rightful king had taken charge.

...and power walk back out, conveniently remembering they haven't even filled out their agent forms yet

a/n So this is this new story about some of the DIA because the DIA is awesome, okay?? And it's gonna be good
so good
sooo goooooood
u'll love it
Okay, enjoy!! Remember to R'nR!!

-------
I was staring into the mirror, trying to get my hair to lie flat. Why, you may ask? Because I, Gaspard de Grasse, have been pressed into service by my roommate.

Damn you, Guardsman.

Of all days, it's today that he chooses to have to lie on the couch with his injured body sprawled everywhere. Because of course he had to get impaled today--right when he was supposed to go interview Tacitus for the Multiverse Monitor. And no one else is available to do it--no one else except me.

I've dressed as nicely as I can manage--clean jeans, a button-down shirt--but my black hair won't flatten no matter what I do. I try for a while longer, but finally I sigh and go out to the main room--no point delaying the inevitable.

The Guardsman lies on the couch, practically sprawling despite the stomach wound. His face is handsome, even with the pain; it figures. He's examining a deck of bloodsoaked cards when I enter.

"Gaspard!" he says once he's looked up. "Thanks again for doing this."

I shrug. "Yeah, well. How are you feeling?"

His face crumples into a grimace; even then, he still looks nice. "Well, you know. I've got a watch stuck between my ribs--can feel it moving when I breathe--and I just found out my favorite deck of cards got ruined. They're just about shredded, see, and I doubt the blood will come out. Thanks for going to the interview, though, you're really saving me."

The Guardsman has to do this interview, because Tacitus is donating a lot of money to DoSAT, specifically for development of DIA tech. That's how he made his fortune--he's really good with tech. I don't know what else he does, though--I'm not the one who got prepared for this interview. All I have is the Guardsman's cue cards; it'll have to be enough.

"You just rest and get better," I tell him, and pick up my jacket from its hook by the door. "I'll be back later. Is the Reader going to check up on you?"

The Guardsman waves one strong hand. "She'll text. Don't worry about me--just go. I'll be alright--dammit--"

He's tried to sit up.

"Don't regenerate," I tell him, and go out the door.

He'll be fine. And if he's not, his sister will scold his next regeneration, and then he'll apologize. It's happened once before.

With one last look back, I get into my car and drive away (a/n: it's a new thing I'm adding that you have to use a car to get anywhere between departments--it just won't work as well otherwise, okay? On with the story!!). Away...towards Dives Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

--
((With no apologies to Sea-Turtle, except maybe several for the bits he didn't know about, and with full acknowledgement of general plot to E.L. James--parodic purposes only, here. Not that the badficcer here is ever going to admit the inspiration without being prompted heavily...))

Rina walked through H with a tear falling down her perfect cheek. she knew that Daffys hater her now, she could never get rid of that it was her only legacy now. ever since th mission he hater her and that was all that would ever be between them. all.

++++++++++===============================+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

THE MISSION

RINA YOU STINCK!!!!!" DAFFyd shoute loud at Rina. "YOU STINCK MORE!!" she stated back, cheeks rosy with anger. "I HATE YOU DAFFY AND I ALWAYS WILL!!!!!" she turned and ran thru the portal back to Headqarters and through the RC and to the Cafteria. She loved Daffy so she was cyring as she ran, but suddenly! she felt weightless and then there was bright light and she was falling. Then she landed on her feet next to a pretty lake in a big forest with trees. She looked inot the water and saw!! She was an elf!!! with pointy ears and pretty hair and a pretty dress! WHat would happen nect???

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Hiiiiiii! Frst fanfic, please don't be mean, leave nice reviews! 3> (how do you get the sumbol to turn around??) u all and MRSSUPERNUMERARY YOU STOLE MY FAVORITE SERIES AND MADE IT BAD I HATE YOU!!!

((Hi, it's Alleb! I'm bad at vacation, beCAUSE BADFIC GAMES. I AM SO EXCITED.))

PPC agent Luxury stepped out of the portal and found that she had not returned to her Response Centre, but was for some reason in Rudi' s bar.

"Oh darn." Luxury said to herself. "I guess I'm walking home."

Before leaving the bar she bumped into Agent Lapis Lazule. "Hey sexy." Lapis says to her. "How about we have some sex?"

Luxury looks at Lapis with a smile. "That's very nice of you, but no thank you, I'm not that kind of girl."

Luxury went home on her own and begin to study for her next mission.

AN - I think I got luxury character down perfect at least. :) please don't flame.

i no tht this stody might not be the besddf stiry ive rite, but i seed that ppl dont likr theLIBRADRIIAN so i decide to rite this torry fot all u wandering ppl out tgere so txh in advantage fot all the great reviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 day at the pay per click hedkkarters (thats whst ppc stanfs fot rite? ive never red it!) people were doin g the tings with the meaty sues and stues and they were killing them and things wefe good but then dedsendels CONSOLE ent BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDEEEEEEDEEERSEREEEEEWWEEEEEEE@!!!!!!!!! and dedsedle wet "ohno it beped now i cant eat my teas what willbi do!?!?!" an dthen the libertarian game in and hed say desdeldel yuu skuc butts and then and then he knows the teas of the tablecloth and said deddendle said no my teas yoy brokerage them! jpe fstr upi!(oops my hands rwe toovfare away)

whatvwill the liberation do nexxt? finf ouy? im sorry my fging is do bad tge yeas on my fone arev tin close togertrer!!!!!!!!!!

Hello All. It has been a while since last we have conversed. I comprehend how things appear aboungst my astute readership. Truth of the matter and telling is, I realize my former tales were lacking in several critical, necessary means. It has come to my observation, that my previous writings were, to be frank, ineligible. For this, I deeply apologize. However, I have made measures to ensure my future endeavors are properly complex, literature deserving of peoples attention. It may take quite some time before I am able to share the stoies with you, but I assure you, I am working post-haste.

Yours in this verce or the next:

xX-VerceMaster-Xx

AN: please tell mee how good mi stori is. I want it too bee good. Review and I will give you a hug.

Zeb will woke up and got up. Zeb new Zeb will have slept well beacuse ZEb isnt tired. Zeb saw that Zebs partner was still sleping. Zebs partner had been Rina! Rina is sleping. Zeb wants two prank Rina. Rina was sleping so Zeb will be able to prank Rina easily. Zeb goes too Rinas bed. Rina was inn the bed and Rina is sleping inn it. Zeb got reddi to prank Rina bye getting a bull of hot water that use to be above rume temperature. Zeb is now going two prank Rina. Rina didnt knew this because Rina is sleeping in Rinas bed.

An: please review. Is mi stori good at all?

Agent Ari was walkin through HW. She was said because she was part magic robot book. Herruby brightly colored orbs filled with tears at that. now she would never be able to really love someone because she didn't have a human brain anymore. not even.....


........

........
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>..

Des!

that was it, she had had a giant crush on des eer since they had been on a msision together.

the thought of how she and des could never eb together made ehr very sad and angry. her dark red spheres were shining with tear as they shrank as she got angrier and angrie. if she could't get a happy ending then she was going to GO ON A RAMPAGE

AN: This is the first chapter of my new story, and it's ALL mine and not juswt a rip-off of someone else's stories, and if he says it is he's lying. The only things in it that is not mine is the PPC which was creaeted by Jane anmd Arcadia.

--------

Agen Luxury was talking to a packed classroom. Her course on Sex Education was by far the most popular at the Official Fanfiction University of the PPC (OFUP). Almost the entire school had signed up for it, and although half the students had dropped out when they discovered there weren't going to be any pratical demonstrations, there were still ewnough to fill every seat in the room.

"And so, when wrting a BadSlash mission, the hottest, coolest, sexiest thing is always..."

[BRRRRRRING]

The sound of the bell interrupted her, and the students started to pack their things and stand up.

"Joan Martens," saud Luxury, "could you stay behind?"

The other students all cheered and wolf-whistled, but the tennage girl with long, wavy, chocolate-brown hair just blushed, which magde the frecckles on her cheeks stand out even more.

"What us it you want, miss?" asked the girl, wehn all the others had left.

"It's a about that assignment you handed in. Write a short story about romance in the PPC." Luxury piclked up the fic in question from her desk. She glanced at it then back at Joan who was fidgiting nervaously. "You had your OC, Agent Kim Coffee, get pregnant by the Sunflower Official."

"Is that a problem?"

"Agent Kim Coffee is a man!"

"Yes, but flowers have male and female parts, so maybe the S.O. could make him pregnant, some how."

Luxury sighed. "I see you're going to have to have my own special tutition if you're ever going to get Permission."

Joan gulped. She didn't like to imagine what Luxury had in mind for her. She certainly wasn't expecting to be smacked about the head with a larg hardback book called Your First Time.

"Read that, and write me a detailed book report by..."

Once again, Agent Luxury was interrupted. This time it was by the door bursting open, and Agent The Guardsman busting into the classroom. He was wearing his full DIA uniform, and pushing a woman with long, curly, dark-purple hair infront of him.

"What is it?" snapped Agent Luxury. "I'm in the middle of something right now. Not that I mind a man in uniform visiting me at any time. Or a man out of uniform. Or a woman in or out of u... Never mind. Just what's this about?"

"It's about her," said Agent The Guardsman, point AT THE woman. "She's the notorious traitor Vim..."

"I'm not a traitor!" yellee d the woman. "And I'll intorduce myself. I'm Vimto Hydrate, and I'm here to warn you..."

"Yopu're here because we caught you sneaking in." He turned back to Luxury. "We arrewsted her in the corridor near the S.O.'s office, but we've nowhere to keep her, because the DIA doesn't have any holding ce;lls."

"What, none?" asked Luxury.

"No, none. And we're not likelt to get any unless a Time Lord Sue turns up whose Suefluence is so greayt it throws the whole department out of character at once. And there's no way that's ever going to happen." He paused, trying to regain his train of thought. "Anyway, that's why we need your help. You've got lots of handcuffs and chains and things, so we wondered if we could borrow some."

"Hmmm... OK," said Luxury, opening a cupboard next to the blackboard, and removing equipment, "but you can't have my special faux-fur-lined leg irons. I'm using them on a date with the Librarian tonight."

"Look, I've aready explained," sighed Vimto. "I've come back to help you. You don't need chains to keep me here."

"But you could try the chains nayway," suggested Luxury. "They're really good ones. Look, this one's got little red ribbons on it."

Vinmto rolled her dark eyes. "No. I just want someone to listen to me. S.W.I.F.T. is going to attack the PPC."

Luxury dropped the chains, her eyes widening in shock. "The slash wraith people? Weren't they all defeateed in the Restructuring War?"

"Exactly," said the Guardsman. "She's talking nonsense."

"No, two of their farms still remaind. They're now the Slash Wraith Incubation Farms Twosome, instead of Team. And they're going to trick some elvish rights people into attacking HQ first, weakening us. Then they step in for the kill."

"Well," said Luxury, "it wouldn't hurt to send someone to infiltrate S.W.I.F.T just to cheack it out. I volunteer!"

The Guardsman gave a shudder at the thought of Luxury loose in the home of slash. "No, you're too much of a ris... I meam, you're much to valuable to us here. You're the onl one who with whips and thumbscrews for interrogating Ms. Hydrate."

"Hey!" yelled his prisoner.

"What we need," continued the Guardsman, "is someone expendable. Someone who won't be missed if this is a trap, but who can successfully claim to be interested in bad slash if it's genuine, and who's stupid enough to volunteer. Can you think of anyone like that?"

The silence as the three of them racked their brains was eventually broken by a small voice asking, "Uh, miss, when did you want that book report?"

The three adults turned to look at Joan.

One upon a type was ana agent named Desdnedelle. He was super awesome and super powerful and always defeated all sues with no problem at all.
He was also s a cyubrog AND a samurai (AN: Samurais are sooo cool and everyone who says else is a loser!) AND a zombie because zombies are cool.
His partner the Librarrina was a tim Lawd and also a jerk.
One day the console BEEEPEd and Des shot his super-awesome mega laser at it to make it shut up.
“oh noes not another missions said the Librarrian because he was a jerk.
“shat ap you arsehole said Des because he was awesome and also because the Librarrina was a jerk.
“butt I wanna snogg with Rina” said the Lubrargianra “this mission sucx'
Then Dais shot his partner because he was chool and the lI brarin was a jerk.
“NOOOOOOO!!!!!!111!!!!@@!!!!” sez the Libararin before he regenerated
except he wasn't a he any more!!
He was.........
A SHE!
“Nuuuu I'm a girl now and girls suck!” said the Librariana and ran awoy to kiss his grass grilfiend.
Then Des went into the mission and killed the Sue.

THE END

Summary: Tghey had it coming!
Genre: Revenge fic.
Rating: Absolutely brutal.

In a dark and raony night, an evil centoure scratch the ground of the Forbidden Forest with his hooves and brought up a verry special stone. „Its the Resurrection Stone“, gasped Agent William Grey. „We must destroy it before he summons a swarm of inferi“. „But the story calls it the Lichen Stone“ said Agen venus Jones. „Zombie, Leech, Inferus, its all the same2 answered William. „The stone must be destroyd,“ „But canon says it is undestroyable!“ „Nothing is undestryable if you apply enough force. But we may need some reinforcements.“ „Okay, said Venus and called up the Interdimensional Communacation funtion of the C-Cad. And typed „EMERGENCY! The Lichen Stone must be destroyd!“

Did you see the message, asked Agent Gabrielle? Apparently Somebody wants us to destroy the Leichenstein“ Dr. Trollenfish looked pover her shoulder. „You got tjis wrong, meine kleine Gabrielle. They mean leichten Stein, a light stone. Spread the news. Leichtenstein musst be destroyed!“

At the banks of the upprer Rhine, around a giant rock crowned by a castle, portals popped up out of thin air, and agents popped out of the portals. Finish them! Shouted the Sunflower Official, and forcefull spell, rays from plasma riffles and exploding ammunition rained all ofer the castle.

A/N; There you have it, Liechtenstein. Took me 10 minutes. I'm so angry right now, that I had to rite this under the desk while I actually should have been in a conference, so bare with me if there are anymistakes. The Department of Inaccuracies trilogy will be continued when we are out of this trouble.

Hey guys, so, this is the first PPC story I have for you. Okay, I may read just one or two stories but they're basically the same, right? All about this secret MIB-like group that go ahead and kill bad stories. I'm sure this is going to be good. Just lemme know if it's okay and if any PPC people are here - you're welcome. I love you all (especially you ladies ;D)

"Hey, Pads, the boss wants to see you." Agent Troy said, looking at his partner, who was now sleeping on the floor in her dog form. Paddlebrains just opened her eyes lazily and slowly walked out of her office. Nobody would leave her alone: always mission, her partner being all noisy and annoying, she wouldn't have time for her own. She decided to file a complaint to the higher-ups and change partners.

Standing before big oaken door to the PPC Leader's office, Paddle yawned and changed into her human form. She was tall and beautiful woman with fiery red hair, flowing down a crimson river down her back. Her body was perfectly curved and her long arms and legs had some muscle visible under tight-fit t-shirt. She wore high black boots, tight-fit jeans and brown coat, which added to her sexiness. Pads only groaned, "Here we go", before pushing the door open.

"Sir? It's Paddlebrains." She said, stepping into a poorly-lit room. The marble floor covered by a red carpet led her straight to the mahogany desk of the boss. Walking through the room, Paddles smirked when she noticed the PPC mascot - the big sunflower wearing a suit (A/N.: I got it right, no? This thing's a mascot, isn't it?) called Sunny.

"Enter." A voice boomed through the hall, even though Pads was right next to the desk. She looked up, seeing a huge figure and prominent mustache of the boss - Mr. Boss, actually. He was an amazing writer who taught the first pair of agents, Jay and Acacia, to travel through fan-fiction dimension and kill those deemed 'bad'. He was now looking down at Pads and tapped his bulgy finger onto his desk.

"Sir?" Pads asked. "Why am I here? If it's a mission, I can--"

"No." Mr. Boss shook his head. "Ms. Paddlebrains, I looked over through your petition and decided to assign you a new partner. He is a new recruit, discovered the PPC just an hour ago, but I am sure you two will get along nicely."

If Pads could transformed partialy, she would sprout a tail and wag it furiously. That's how happy she was. Who said wishes didn't come true?

A/N.: So that's it, for now! Tell me what you think. I'm sure I've nailed how Pads should react and I know what I want to do next. Let me know what mission do you want Pads and her new partner go on and I'll see you... in the next chapter~~!

More nime/you, whee! Thanks to all my readers who keep revowing! Your the best!


You wake up the next morning feelin kinda sore. Oh thats right you rememberd, it was your weeding the night befire. You smile at the remember. Nume looked soo handsome his suit and tie and standing at the alter wile you walkd down the isle in you're white dress and holding a GIANT boket (lol, I can never remember how to spell that) of white roses!

You smiled as you remember what happens next; the honeymoon. You were still on it now. Later today maybe you will go see the dolphins, because you and you're new husband (NUME IF YOUR READING THIS PLEASE MARRY ME) are on honeymoon in france the most romantic place in the world!!!

You here nume roll over next to you and his hand goes on you're sholder all protectivelike. "Good morning beautiful" he sayd "Good morning handsome" you says back and kiss him. Its like the best kiss in the world and you're heart flutters even after you're lip's part "Last night was fun wasnt it" Nume said and put his hand on your waist.

You giggle and blush, "Who knew you were so god at this" you said.

nume says "Well i have a lot of practice since I am a vampire an all".

The to of you lean in for anohter kiss when suddenly......

"I THINK IM GONNA BE SICK!!!" You yell and jump up and run to the bathroom and throw up all over.

"Oh no baby whats wrong??" Nume says franticale and hold you.

"I think!" You gasp "I think Im PREGNANT!"

Cliffie! :D Omg you guys i'm so excite to write the next part!! In teh meantime check out my new story! Thanks and hugs&cookies!!

PS: FOR THE LAST TIME DARKLORDOFALL; THIS IS NOT ME RIPING OFF TWILIGHT SO YOU CAN JSUT SHUT THE F*** UP ABOT WHAT I WRITE OKAY THANKS!!!!! IF YOUR GOING TO KEEP AKUSING ME OF RIPPING OF TWILIHGT I WONT WRITE ANY MORE!!!!!!!

Every one ellse keep being awesome, k? AND GO REPORT DARKLORDOFALL FOR BEING A FLAMMER!!!!!!!

-MrsSupernumerary

SUMMARY: RINA AND THE GUARDSMAN HAVE A SECRET BUT ONLY THE GUARDSMAN KNOWS FIND OUT WHAT IT IS!!!

CHAPTR 1

A/N: Hi guys so u kno wknow the Guardsman and RIna have this father/daugher relashionship well this is my explanasion for why that is!! lol anyway she finds out her real dad is the guardsman and her moms a Timelady who used the cameleon ark to escape the time war and wond up in a diffrent dimention enjoy!!! r/r and NO FLAMS!!!!!!!!!

PS sorry to my other readers followin my nume/you fic taht will be updated soon!!

The Guardsman was walkin down the corodors of HQ when he saw a girl with flaming red hair and and she was curled up in a ball crying

“hey are you okay”, he asked carefully “RIna pleas talk to me.”

“I MISS MY MOM AND DAD” she yells hugging him tight .

“Woahh hey ther it’s okay you can talk to me” said the Guardmsan huggin gher back.

He had a secret he couldnt tell anyone a secret that he was acually her reel father it all started back on galifree in the time war.


~FLASHBACK~

"I MUST PROTECT OUR BABY" his wife yelled!

"NOOOOOO!" the Giardsman yelled but she had already put herself in the cameleon ark!

~END FLASHBACK~

A/N: So what do u think lol??? Plz r/r and agan no flams!! next chapie will be up after the Nume one!

-MrsSupernumerary