Subject: The Inner-Space Warp: Ch.1 Keeping Back
Author:
Posted on: 2015-10-01 20:29:00 UTC

AN: This is the first chapter of my new story, and it's ALL mine and not juswt a rip-off of someone else's stories, and if he says it is he's lying. The only things in it that is not mine is the PPC which was creaeted by Jane anmd Arcadia.

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Agen Luxury was talking to a packed classroom. Her course on Sex Education was by far the most popular at the Official Fanfiction University of the PPC (OFUP). Almost the entire school had signed up for it, and although half the students had dropped out when they discovered there weren't going to be any pratical demonstrations, there were still ewnough to fill every seat in the room.

"And so, when wrting a BadSlash mission, the hottest, coolest, sexiest thing is always..."

[BRRRRRRING]

The sound of the bell interrupted her, and the students started to pack their things and stand up.

"Joan Martens," saud Luxury, "could you stay behind?"

The other students all cheered and wolf-whistled, but the tennage girl with long, wavy, chocolate-brown hair just blushed, which magde the frecckles on her cheeks stand out even more.

"What us it you want, miss?" asked the girl, wehn all the others had left.

"It's a about that assignment you handed in. Write a short story about romance in the PPC." Luxury piclked up the fic in question from her desk. She glanced at it then back at Joan who was fidgiting nervaously. "You had your OC, Agent Kim Coffee, get pregnant by the Sunflower Official."

"Is that a problem?"

"Agent Kim Coffee is a man!"

"Yes, but flowers have male and female parts, so maybe the S.O. could make him pregnant, some how."

Luxury sighed. "I see you're going to have to have my own special tutition if you're ever going to get Permission."

Joan gulped. She didn't like to imagine what Luxury had in mind for her. She certainly wasn't expecting to be smacked about the head with a larg hardback book called Your First Time.

"Read that, and write me a detailed book report by..."

Once again, Agent Luxury was interrupted. This time it was by the door bursting open, and Agent The Guardsman busting into the classroom. He was wearing his full DIA uniform, and pushing a woman with long, curly, dark-purple hair infront of him.

"What is it?" snapped Agent Luxury. "I'm in the middle of something right now. Not that I mind a man in uniform visiting me at any time. Or a man out of uniform. Or a woman in or out of u... Never mind. Just what's this about?"

"It's about her," said Agent The Guardsman, point AT THE woman. "She's the notorious traitor Vim..."

"I'm not a traitor!" yellee d the woman. "And I'll intorduce myself. I'm Vimto Hydrate, and I'm here to warn you..."

"Yopu're here because we caught you sneaking in." He turned back to Luxury. "We arrewsted her in the corridor near the S.O.'s office, but we've nowhere to keep her, because the DIA doesn't have any holding ce;lls."

"What, none?" asked Luxury.

"No, none. And we're not likelt to get any unless a Time Lord Sue turns up whose Suefluence is so greayt it throws the whole department out of character at once. And there's no way that's ever going to happen." He paused, trying to regain his train of thought. "Anyway, that's why we need your help. You've got lots of handcuffs and chains and things, so we wondered if we could borrow some."

"Hmmm... OK," said Luxury, opening a cupboard next to the blackboard, and removing equipment, "but you can't have my special faux-fur-lined leg irons. I'm using them on a date with the Librarian tonight."

"Look, I've aready explained," sighed Vimto. "I've come back to help you. You don't need chains to keep me here."

"But you could try the chains nayway," suggested Luxury. "They're really good ones. Look, this one's got little red ribbons on it."

Vinmto rolled her dark eyes. "No. I just want someone to listen to me. S.W.I.F.T. is going to attack the PPC."

Luxury dropped the chains, her eyes widening in shock. "The slash wraith people? Weren't they all defeateed in the Restructuring War?"

"Exactly," said the Guardsman. "She's talking nonsense."

"No, two of their farms still remaind. They're now the Slash Wraith Incubation Farms Twosome, instead of Team. And they're going to trick some elvish rights people into attacking HQ first, weakening us. Then they step in for the kill."

"Well," said Luxury, "it wouldn't hurt to send someone to infiltrate S.W.I.F.T just to cheack it out. I volunteer!"

The Guardsman gave a shudder at the thought of Luxury loose in the home of slash. "No, you're too much of a ris... I meam, you're much to valuable to us here. You're the onl one who with whips and thumbscrews for interrogating Ms. Hydrate."

"Hey!" yelled his prisoner.

"What we need," continued the Guardsman, "is someone expendable. Someone who won't be missed if this is a trap, but who can successfully claim to be interested in bad slash if it's genuine, and who's stupid enough to volunteer. Can you think of anyone like that?"

The silence as the three of them racked their brains was eventually broken by a small voice asking, "Uh, miss, when did you want that book report?"

The three adults turned to look at Joan.

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