Subject: Replies
Author:
Posted on: 2017-03-18 20:24:00 UTC

1) That was a mistake. I trusted Aegis. His reasons (he wanted to mitigate the damage when Ix's withdrawal ended (he thought it'd be the next morning)) sounded good at the time. It turned out that the deletions were the wrong thing to do, and I regret my panicked involvement.

2) When I initially heard the complaints several days before they were raised on the Board, I felt they couldn't be entirely accurate, but I trusted Iximaz enough to try and look in to them. My actions while doing so (see my reply to hS elsewhere) probably made things worse. I realize now that she had never spoken out about the things she was complaining of, publicly or otherwise. It took me a long time and several missteps to realize that I was hearing an extremely skewed interpretation of events and that no one else know anything about how Iximaz felt. I had a gut feeling something was off about what I was hearing, but I didn't want to dismiss it because of my frinedship. I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused with my half-hearted investigations and crusades.

I didn't really understand what had happened to Iximaz and what I (and she) needed to do that would be actually helpful.

3) I tried to not unconditionally believe what I was hearing without completely ignoring it. I didn't realize what was going on, especially since I didn't know about the mood swings caused by the new meds until after I'd heard Ix's thoughts on the community.

3.5) Good point.

4) Nesh, I completely understand your actions, and I think they were the right thing to do given the circumstances I am now more aware of. I thought ill of you without all the facts, and I shouldn't have done that.

5) There was a witchhunt. I'm ashamed that I threw fuel onto the fire by posting what I did. I hope that the remainder of the record shows that I didn't want to blame or punish July for that sort of thing, but I worry I was not clear about this at the time.

In general, Neshomeh, your comments on this situation and how it has been handled have been extremely helpful to me. I realized that I made a lot of mistakes in how I reacted to what Iximaz was doing and saying, and I believe I have learned from what you and others have been saying on the board so that I will be less unintentionally damaging in the future.

I admit I may have, as you said, wound myself too tightly around Iximaz's feelings, and done some very bad things because of it. Can I be forgiven?

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