Subject: Thoughts
Author:
Posted on: 2018-06-28 16:30:00 UTC

I like the children's book-like style in the first part. I'll note that it feels like a very appropriate style for a story about Wobbles (especially since, if you're reading for the first time, it looks like it'll be a rather comedic one).

And then the scene changes, and we have this rather serious (and heartwarming) emotional scene with the Notary and Wobbles. One think I liked about this section is that you did a good job of using the narration to convey the Notary's emotions.

(Minor note: the "quiet and old as an empty church" simile, while understandable, felt like it didn't quite make sense.)

- Tomash

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