Subject: Ow in the feels.
Author:
Posted on: 2018-06-28 14:52:00 UTC
Not much else to say. Wobbles being supportive of the Notary was unexpected but sweet.
Subject: Ow in the feels.
Author:
Posted on: 2018-06-28 14:52:00 UTC
Not much else to say. Wobbles being supportive of the Notary was unexpected but sweet.
So par for the course, for Larf.
I'm not 100% sure the imprisonment had anything to do with the pink stuff. That's how I took it.
The imprisonment had more to do with the hellish lunacy Finch and Bingle inexplicably end up getting into, while off duty (or just over their general course of existence.)
Probably could've tried finding a way to maybe expound the context more, just a little, ay?
Of course, the lack of context, too, was rather important. Who knows!
This all felt like something that might happen in HQ, and everyone feels in character.
I do want to know what the heck happened to Finch and Bingle though.
- Tomash
Goofs and gaffs and spoofs and spaffs and gadzookery.
For real, though, I was considering expounding more on why they were there and so on (more of Bingle's rubbish magic experiments he does to pass the time while they're skipping duties or such), but I couldn't really find a way to fit it in without kind of mucking up the punchline.
At least one pair of characters has clearly gotten themselves into trouble! XD
Are any of the four characters human, by chance? I get the impression Anne and Ninetwo, at least, aren't.
Anne is, in fact, the token human of Shift Twentieth! Bingle is sorta-human (he's a dead wizard) and Finch and Ninetwo are respectively a sapient vending machine and a dandelion. Anne's cat, who isn't in this one, is a cat.
I suppose I do kind of characterise her as being very much the most inhuman out of them, so that's good, innit?
And Finch and Bingle basically live in a constant unending state of trouble.
Those darn hooligans.
Overall, neat, funny scene, I think it does a good job of showing off people's characters (though mainly Thoth's independent/"Tom can handle himself, I've got my own thing going" strain).
I'm not sure what the soap line was supposed to mean though.
- Tomash
Loves his film references.
Talia is having none of it.
...Honestly, that may be a bit too obscure in the way it's done.
Pern is fifth-rate '80s fantasy, thank you very much.
On a more serious note, this was a fun story, at least in part because it adds another place where Wobbles Should Never Go Ever. =]
As for Pern being fifth-rate... Isn't fith-rate the bottom, usually? I think we need somewhere to put all the nonsense we can't remember because it was so bland below Pern. And somewhere to put Xanth and Gor below that... Besides, I like Pern, so through the power of Willful Delusion, I can say it's first rate. :-P
I mean, I did find the punchline funny regardless, but still. XD
That he set up a console in a diused RC so nobody could disturb him.
But who knows? I just had him vanish for the joke.
Especially the bit with Pariya (who I'm assuming from context is a Jedi) crying.
- Tomash
Short, but... emotional? Bittersweet isn't the right word for this.
Anyway, even for one lacking the context like myself, this snippet conveys what's going on just fine.
That was definitely feels-inducing. Not much else to say other than ow.
So the Notary's had a lot of time to come to terms with help always being available in Headqwarts to those who ask for it. The growth's true for Wobbles as well - she's making much less of an effort to be HAPPYSMILESUPERFUNTIMEWHEE around the Notary and trying a lot harder to be her friend. Characters evolving over time: it Am An Thing. =]
And yeah, I kinda assumed Jenni would be fine with it from previous interactions involving Jennotari friendshipping/outrightshipping. Those were super fun, btw, we should definitely do more of that some time. =]
Thanks for the compliments, too! I'm glad you liked the narration - I was trying to do the show-don't-tell thing, but without using dialogue as a crutch for that. =]
Not much else to say. Wobbles being supportive of the Notary was unexpected but sweet.
By which I mean... aaawwww. ;;
Wobbles does many a Good, for EVERYONE! The Notary very much included.
but that was an interesting scene and I think I'd like to read more.
- Tomash
I kid, I kid. ;)
That said, this was adorably light. Best of luck to Amelia on her exams!
... Even if she has to start studying that far in advance. She has my sympathies. |D
I admit to being a little lost as to who these two are/what they look like, but they play off each other wonderfully.
I think this this a good job of describing how people are moving throughout the scene, and for a dialogue-heavy piece the lack of a setting is helpful for letting people focus on the important bits (the conversation and the snuggle session), I think.
- Tomash
Some gentle teasing going on here! And it's always good when Ix is able to laugh at herself. Character development between these two!
I want to hug them. .-.
Will any of the three wake up?
(Also: "Every big of visible skin"?)
Now I'm theorizing what on earth could have possibly hurt them. Is it bad my first thought was Weevils? Because my first thought was Weevils.
Hope you write a new part soon!
I mean, it's not bad...but remember, this is a Hogwarts AU, not a straight crossover. So no TARDISes, no aliens, no giant leaps of time travel (only Time Turners available)...which means Weevils are pretty unlikely at this point.
No clue when the next part will come, but it will show up!
~Z
Also: ALL THE EMOTIONS.
At least they found Jacques...?
Fantastic. That's what I'm going for! Well, among other things, but this is very much going for an emotional response.
They've found him! No one's in such good shape, apparently, but...he's alive! And in safe hands!
Now we just need to get in to see him, and find out what even happened to begin with...
~Z
Bother that. Broke the HTML by accident :/ I must have forgotten to check it again after adding the notes at the end. Sorry!
~Z
My brain's not putting up any coherent thoughts on characterization, so I'll leave that to someone else who wants to review, but I think this was overall a well-written piece that did a good job of conveying people's emotional states (especially Ianto's urge to go out and do something and/or go on a roaring rampage of revenge).
- Tomash
This was intended to be pretty much all about emotional states, so this is a good comment to get :)
Sequel incoming, probably soonish. There's definitely more to be told here.
~Z
The theme of Ianto and Jon picking up traits from each other was sweet - and Rose is Rose, even when she's an AU! ... Imagine Rose in the PPC, though.
It's sort of what happened to my own little ficlet, there - though it's a product of the process, and definitely far-removed from the timeline's starting point.
That sounds like the sort of inter-House interaction we need more of, tbh.
... Rose meeting the Sunflower Official. Can you imagine?
However, I'm confused about how what's presumably a bottle labeled "hair day" (or at least that's the impression of it I got) isn't that unidentifiable, unless it's an unlabeled colored bottle (which seems like a rather silly idea)
- Tomash
Ce'rana doesn't get a lot of opportunities to mess with Alex, and she wants to make the most of this one. If that means pretending to be clueless for ten minutes, she can do that.
She always knew exactly what that was. She also knows that Alex is A Little Vain about his little streak of color. The obvious solution here is to tease him.
I missed the part where she read the label. Before I noticed that, I'd thought the narration had her as actually confused about what the hair dye was.
Poor Alex - hair dye is not something to be ashamed of! At least Ce'rana gets some chocolate for her sleuthing, though.
I appreciate their distinct voices, as well~
... That'd be fantastic. XD
Not sure where this is set or who Nautilus it, but it overall makes sense.
Also, pokemon!Bobo is an interesting image.
I've not read too far into the series, so I don't know if Bobo is an OC or a canon character. Either way, this was a nice little snapshot into his life.
And technically, he *is* a canon character - but not one you've met yet. ;)
The structure of The Wake is why he's an Umbreon and not his normal self, to keep it short. Nautilus is an NPC from that Dreamwidth comm.
Thanks! I'm glad I was able to convey enough of a picture. ^^
... that this snippet was going to come out. =P
(Though, if this keeps up, I might actually start claiming Nautilus as my own... and there's trouble down that route.)