Subject: If they ever did,
Author:
Posted on: 2017-12-17 23:59:00 UTC
it would probably go just about as well as the rest of their plans tend to go.
Subject: If they ever did,
Author:
Posted on: 2017-12-17 23:59:00 UTC
it would probably go just about as well as the rest of their plans tend to go.
After reading the PPC Census, I saw a recommendation (to make the PPC better) from someone to put in a weekly (or bi-weekly/every other week, memory is fuzzy) writing prompt. And, I think that's a really good idea!
The 'every other week' writing prompt would help Newbies and Peeps Without Permission to get into the habit of writing and hone their skills. Furthermore, it would give people who already have Permission a reason to write (could help with writer's block!)
I think this should be implemented. Your thoughts?
With four speakers, none of them having particularly recognizable verbal patterns, I tried to keep the dialogue moving as naturally as possible, with few distractions, but I guess I went overboard in that direction.
Hm. I can probably work with that title . . .
—doctorlit, Nursering
But I'm still here. Just sayin'. Y'know, if Wobbles wants to go dry off at any point, I can take over. For the team?
(( Dammit, the Notary is not allowed to cry. Or, well, looking at it again, I guess there aren't actual tears coming from her eyes, but it still reads like crying to me. This situation must be rectified immediately. ~NeshomehNope, still Jenni. Never mind the fourth wall. ))
"It's self-control. I've been a totally broken-down emotional wreck only once before, and it was sufficiently scarring that I never want to be like that again. Ever. I refuse."
*is fussed, coddled, and cuddled, and feeds Lolus little chunks of chicken with lettuce, red onion, garlic sauce, and wrapped in a pitta bread it's a kebab. Again. He likes them. DWI.*
(( We shooooooould. Canon Jennotari shipping, friend or otherwise, is best shipping. =] ))
*pets* It looks like a dam about to burst. Even a will as rigid as yours can only take so much before something has to give somewhere. What we need is a controlled release. ... By which I mean talking; don't give me that look.
(( Totally dig the ship name, by the way! It kinda sounds like an alien race, and a totally badass one. ^_^ ))
You think I'm ever gonna pass up a chance to make the Notary feel deep and unceasing pain? =]
Is there any way they'd ever possibly get married in the future, assuming they meet at some point? Or would that be way too spoilery to answer?
~Z
Just very sweet! I like how slow and calm and quiet this is, compared to the other prompts. The losing-the-ring thing is the one moment of heightened action—a bit cliched, but I like that Ix ends up solving the problem almost immediately, and then they just get on with it like nothing happened.
—doctorlit, liking weather variety in the Courtyard, too
I knew the ring-losing is a huge cliché, but I do like subverting those. You think it would have been better without?
These sorts of stories are so short, it's a little too easy to have nothing happen at all. No, I think it's better with it in, especially with the creative and unexpected solution.
—doctorlit
((Beta'd by Iximaz. Thunks!)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1AI2Hs52mU2a0kKu-mk0oVNomajzKF8Z74ZaJaBI_XeQ/edit?usp=sharing
I called this turning out to be a dream before I finished reading it, but I didn't expect it to be a dream of real events. Everything seemed to be going so perfectly and easily for Daichi (headband aside) that I didn't believe it could be real. Makes the ending even more of a surprise, firstly that it really did happen, and secondly for the sudden dark mood of Daichi's present. I'm not quite sure why it's driving Daichi to drink, considering it was such a nice, calm dream, but maybe not all the dreams of his past he's having are so nice?
—doctorlit, whiplashed
The reason is, he's now in the PPC. And, he had his wife die in front of him, he drinks to try and forget his past.
(And, this mean you like it?)
I'm pretty anti-substance abuse, so the alcohol bit getting thrown in at the end pretty much keeps me from really liking it, but it is still a well-made story.
—doctorlit, teetotaler
I like that for all Daichi's flustered around Akira, they still are comfortable enough around each other to tease and joke around.
The headband being put on backwards was a nice touch, especially when Akira fixed it near the end.
(The Aviator: "Hey, I thought the heartbroken drunk was my archetype!")
Must make it more tragic. Must make it as tragic as yours.
(Daichi blows a raspberry in The Aviator's general direction.)
Well, it technically is. Since it's a dream of his past/nightmare. So it actually did happen. (Multiple dates happened, implied)
Thanks for the suggestions though!
The events of the dream actually happened. I misread that ending some.
(and I figured everything was super-sudden because being that flustered when asking someone for a date wouldn't typically be a thing if you were planning to propose to them?)
- Tomash
Yeah, but he was extremely nervous, ergo him being flustered easily.
With regards to Pariya's actions, you're right. The reason she says that is because they're both fairly influential figures on opposites sides of the war, so not only are they meant to be trying to kill each other if they see each other, they also have a lot at stake to lose if they're relationship is found out. They've both agreed that it is worth the risks, but normally they try and minimise the risks as much as possible, a relatively open meeting like this is a lot more risky than all the other meetings they've had since the war broke out (again).
Nova
I don't have any coherent opinions on the writing, other than that I liked reading it.
I'll admit to not knowing when in the Star Wars timeline there was both an Empire and a non-trivial organization of Jedi, but that wasn't important to the story.
- Tomash
Right in the feels box. I love it!
The gut punch that is the last line really sells this whole piece. Bravo.
I knew I wanted to end with that line but getting there, especially the video bit, had to be re-written three or four times before I was happy with it. It also seemed to change planet each time I re-wrote it, but I think having it on Alderaan (for those who didn't recognise the planet I was trying to describe) actually works really well.
Events like this are one of the things I love about the PPC.
I’m afraid I’ll sit out on this, because I probably can’t fit a proposal into the story arc intended for Androia and Hieronymus, and since I have family over here for the weekend, reading and commenting will have to wait.
HG
I may not get a chance to comment on these individually, but I am reading and enjoying them all. Keep it up!
~Neshomeh
This was nice! Very simple and basic, but very nice to see Harris get a moment that goes right, for once.
I can't remember: was Sonia a character we saw published before, or is she newer?
—doctorlit, Frosty sometimes
The double proposal at the same time is just—augh, my heart.
(We've been missing you, dude.)
and from what I know of the species, it was accurate.
I also liked the bit where Dawn had to awkwardly explain that figure of speech.
- Tomash
Not really much else to say! It was a fun piece that showed how well these two get along as partners.
T'Zar's reaction to the first 'proposal' was awesome. Where's the Kudos button when you need it?
This was cute! A small, short scene, but I like that we get a good range of the Aviator's thoughts on the matter, and that he's getting support from both Elanor and the TARDIS. I'm also amused by Elanor's excitement over getting a dad, especially since it goes against the stereotype of kids not liking their step-parent in fiction.
—doctorlit, promising not to tell Zeb
I think, by this point, Elanor would already see the Detective as another father figure in what looks like a rapidly expanding roster. ^^; That is, of course, assuming Aegis and I continue on that timeline.
"You dolt! Stop your dithering and just say it!"
Elanor's... tricky for me. Where do I find the right balance of cute and realistic? I'll find it somehow. :P
One character asks another to marry them, in any context possible (meaning in whatever context you want, though someone asking someone else to marry them anytime they get a chance is also an option...)
~Z
As usual, I love the interaction between these two. The voices you've given both really step out of the screen and speak in my mind.
But my favorite part, by far, is the list of barest bare-bones "benefits" the Flowers confer on married couples. It gets across so much of the Flowers' focus on work, and their lack of understanding of romantic pair-bonding, all in a single sentence. Well done!
—doctorlit, also disdainful of romantic pair bonding, though not a Flower
about the idea of getting married for the free cake.
This wasn't a story that made me fall over laughing, but I liked the concept and thought it was good.
I assume it's deliberately unclear if those two actually get married?
- Tomash
it would probably go just about as well as the rest of their plans tend to go.
I like how you play with the alien languages here, both in the physical pronunciation, and in how the translator attempts to present figures of speech from it. I also like that the pre-existing conflict between the two agents isn't spelled out right away, but sets the mood throughout the whole piece nonetheless.
I could have done with physical descriptions of both agents, since neither seems human, and I don't know what they're from.
—doctorlit, going to review all of these, hopefully
I thought the proposal seemed weirdly sudden—I loved how you made it the result of a translation error!
I only noticed one error—"Neither of them had been were happy" in the first paragraph.
Thanks!
- Tomash
That sounds like a good prompt. (Though I won't be able to work on it at the moment, exam week and all.)
How many prompts would it be, you reckon? I recall, Seaturtle tried this before, and he sort of, sent out a small splattering of prompts, for more choice and all. Maybe that'd be interesting, and I don't think it would entirely ruin the idea, if the central concept is just 'get people writing'. Maybe all the prompts could be themed, if we want to be cute. Could ask a couple people around for prompts or such if that's the case. I might have a couple prompt ideas, anyhow, for that.
Or, uh, I dunno. Either way, I like it!
I'd say one would be good for indecisive folk like me, y'know?
They could definitely be themed! That'd help out a ton. Maybe a Christmas theme for now.
I'm thinking for the Prompters though, they could be anyone in the PPC who thinks they got a good prompt going on. What do you think?
There's nothing stopping you from doing this.
Worst case is that there's no uptake.
- Tomash