Subject: Actual real exampling.
Author:
Posted on: 2012-10-04 18:31:00 UTC
"No you're-" Phoebe bit down on the instinctive denial. "What happened?" she asked instead. "Who hit me? And why, I ask in all honesty, am I lying on a suitcase?"
The 'suitcase' in question bucked suddenly underneath her, tipping her to the stone flags of the corridor. "Oh," Phoebe managed to wheeze. "Sorry, Traveller. But really, what's going on?"
I am of the considered opinion that explicitly connecting Phoebe's second line to Traveler's action (there's a reason for the spelling dissonance, but the one-L version is technically-correct-and-never-used) is far more useful than splitting them out of some sense that new actor = new paragraph. It flows better, and it draws cause-effect relationships out better than the alternate version:
"No you're-" Phoebe bit down on the instinctive denial. "What happened?" she asked instead. "Who hit me? And why, I ask in all honesty, am I lying on a suitcase?"
The 'suitcase' in question bucked suddenly underneath her, tipping her to the stone flags of the corridor.
"Oh," Phoebe managed to wheeze. "Sorry, Traveller. But really, what's going on?"
And yeah, it also looks better on a screen - which, despite the curt dismissal of the issue in Nesh's link, is actually important to web-based stories (because no, I'm not going to resize my browser for every page I read; that's slightly ridiculous, and doesn't cover reading in something like MSWord).
hS
PS: On consideration, I think the key point here is to be aware that paragraph-breaks are just as much a decision to make as word-use. Be aware of how you're using them, and you can do it more effectively.
"Time is of the essence, sir!" The Bracket Fungus sensed an impulse to the elf's arm - a sword being drawn. "I'll cut this one down, you're needed at the front!"
Very true, the Fungus admitted. Join me when you are through. He moved forward, feeling the portal slip around him, and then...
Fire.
Heat.
Blazing light.
And nothing.