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So, I read this fic, and the immediate thought I had was "This OC is such a Mary Sue!", but I tested her on several tests, and some said she was a Mary Sue, but some say she wasn't.

The main reason I think she's a Sue is that she's an FBI agent despite being five years too young and she's the one who saves the day.

You be the judge: [https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9385981/1/Look-After-You]

I know it is a lemon base, but it has been a repeatedly popular new product with a couple agents.

if only they remember buying it the last time....

~Leto

Ah costs, they can range in many things. A particularly fun story is a good payment (if I get the movie rights) to the scent of a fantastic flower (corpse flower included, though in sealed container).

Imagination keeps the doors and the General Store's pocket dimensions open. The more inventive the product, the more it buys!

~Leto

How much does it cost? I don’t have a lot of money, unless you take bubblegum wrappers for payment.

but the editor can still be a major pain in the butt sometimes.

I've been trying to create a page for my second agent for a while now, but every time I paste info into the edit box, either I can't save it or the page comes out blank.

I'll keep your advice in mind for future writing 😉

And from what I've seen, I don't think it's generally well known in this group.

It's fine and even good to write missions for a canon that isn't as big as others, but do bear the knowledge level of your intended audience in mind when you decide what information to include about the setting. It rarely hurts to assume at least some of your potential readers don't know the canon in minute detail, even the more popular ones. That's one reason agent pairs typically vary in their experience and/or interests, so there's always one character who legitimately needs their partner to point things out because they don't know the canon as well, or are focused on different aspects of it.

There are other ways besides dialogue to slip information in, though: a brief character description here and a judicious bit of exposition there, just as though you were writing an original work, can go a long way. Your formless narrator can be helpful here, since they can just straight-up tell the audience anything it would be difficult to work in organically. As with all forms of exposition, I would use this sparingly, but still, it's an extra tool in your toolbox. {= )

My point about the image header is a similar one: it is never a mistake to assume your readers have not read the badfic. Part of the art of mission-writing is to transform the source fic into a mission that stands up as a story on its own. Any context necessary to understand what's happening in your story, such as how a particular device was (mis)used at a particular time, should be included in your story.

TL;DR: In my opinion, the mission would benefit from having at least some of the information from your post worked into it.

And hey, the more interesting you make the canon sound in your missions, and the more you show us why your agents (and you) are passionate about the world and the characters, the greater the chances that someone will decide to learn more about it! ... It won't be me, because I'm not much of a gamer, but it could be someone! The fact that both of your agents are fans is a big asset here. Lean in to the canon love and let us see what you see in it through your writing. {= )

~Neshomeh

Though complaints and returns are handled by Smeagul the mini-balrog.

But only the pure dark bitter stuff. Wouldn’t want to give you indigestion with the milk chocolate.

You missed the quotation for the hair. It is one credit per kilo, the hair isn’t that rare after all.

Oh, and if there is any damage on the loading dock, Pheonix will be there to make sure you personally fix everything…

Missions by agents of RC 381 are hosted here. The new mission in question is the same as the sample in my permission request, but posted on the site with some changes. Long story short, really bland reader-insert with rampant image insertion and bad punctuation.

I mean, I was gonna make Derik make his Space Marine buddy do the heavy lifting for a couple chocolate bars, but hey, if you wanna give me the keys to heavy machinery and chocolate, cool! There's EU stuff with dragons that smell like chocolate and a place called Chocolate Falls. Those couldn't exist if chocolate itself didn't also exist, so pay up!

A kilo of hair is a big ask, but if we start collecting them, who knows? As a personal favor to you, because you've been such a great business partner, I'll sell you every one I can find. It won't be that easy for me. That stuff gets places you don't want to know about. It's the worst. But for you and three units of store credit per hair, I'll make that sacrifice.

(( Careful, Leto. At this rate, she'll have half the store next. ^_~ ))

This continuum is about personified Japanese swords (that either actually existed in history or are attested in historical documents). Also, yari and naginata (two kinds of polearms) are considered nihontō as their blades are forged exactly like sword blades and can even be converted into swords, which is why they're included in this canon.

About the image as header: the saniwa image used there is exclusive to an adaptation (this character is a non-entity player character in the game), and I also see this as hand-holding the audience like all other instances of image use in the fic's body. The reader of a non-visual medium can imagine what the characters look like themself.

Thanks for the permission! I'll get started on agent profiles shortly.

...and I may have just accidentally created a PPC agent clone of myself. -Claire))

but I do have extra qiankun bags I picked up from my last mission. They function in much the same way, though I would advise against trying to trap spirits in them -- those would be the purview of a Spirit-Trapping Pouch, which I also have extras of.

It appears there might be? Of course, whenever I attempt to contact the proprietor of the Inconvenience Store about some thing I have purchased, they are never there...

((2010 was roughly when I was away writing the International Academy of Hetalia Fanfiction, so I was not completely on the Board then, haha! ~Lily))

Heavy they may be, use the forklift. If not comfortable with that, there is a pallet jack…..

Cat-grrl hair is extra effective on those with animalistic features, yes. I will take a kilo if you have it. I never said blunt force trauma was a bad thing, but sometimes you need a way to get close to the sue in question. Also, splatter stains do take a bit to get out.

As for the chocolate, papers please.

I guess some sort of herbal tea such as mint tea would work. I want to try adding Bleeprin to it.

Ugh, fine, I'll transport them myself. But I want a case of chocolate as a handling fee. The good stuff, not some crud out of a replicator or something. My world is basically "Earth but with dragons" and you can't prove it doesn't have chocolate, so there.

As for the mind traps, sounds fun, but I prefer good old blunt-force trauma. If you wanna buy Sue-hair off me, though, I can get you some nice, long, blonde ones from a cat-girl!Sue, no less. Derik and I got her a few years ago, so I don't know how the heck we keep finding her hairs on our clothes, but genuine cat-girl hair has to be worth extra, right?

Please leave the Monstrous Nightmare Gel in the receiving bay. Your chow should be back there with your name on it, if not I will send the minis back there to get it for you.

Have you seen my newest supply of mind traps? They work well for binding Sues in there own logical fallacies. Cheep too! Only need lockets of Sue hair for them, wilver or urple hair makes the best quality ones.

Are both up for general use. Just please to abuse my minis too much, lol.

It will be fun reading about what I have been up too…..

The jam-filled lembas is in the newly redone bakery. I finally figured out how to use the heat of rolling authors to heat the ovens. We need to dissipate the heat somehow, or we are going to be in a heat catastrophe due to the Sues.

The quantum mechanics of it was starting to hurt my mind.

Leto

Here you go.

The cost is the potion ingredients for the a bag of holding. I am getting low on those right now.

And, no. I do not run the Inconvenience Store. Is there a doppelgänger of me?

(I was active til about 2010, should ask about the totally random sock request of 2002/2003)

Luke

It's really good to see you! The General Store is one of the earliest spinoff I remember reading, and I...

... ah.

I maaaay need to apologise to you, because I borrowed Leto the proprietor for a bit last year. wrote a piece for me in the Guide to New Caledonia (it's the one called 'Stop Giving Them Your Money: Shopping in New Cal (is a bad idea)'. I hope he didn't come out too far off the mark, but now I'm worried. :O

(Somewhat further back, I also wrote an argument in the General Store. It's a fun place to set occasional scenes. ^_^ Thank you for creating it.)

... oh yes, and I remembered you when the original Board was closing down.

(Now, where do you keep the jam-filled lembas? Aisle four, wasn't it...?)

hS