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Your writing's always a joy to read, and the interview format worked great as both recap and character piece. One thing struck me as curious: I'm not a musical theatre weirdo, but surely El-Ahrairah would make a better Marius than Gavroche. He is seventeen, after all. =]

It helps that the Non-Propaganda Communications Division is my own, and I've wanted to do something with them - and with their in-universe format - for a while now. This seemed like a good stab at making it work.

And yeah, I do have some... issues with Buzzfeed listicles. However, I understand why they're there: the ad money from those funds the actual journalism, which has been quietly improving for a while now. A Buzzfeed duo of writers were shortlisted for the Paul Foot prize for investigative journalism a year or two ago, if memory serves. It's something I tried to replicate from the point of view of the NPCs, which also let me do a recap of the plot stuff with Algie and Agamemnon/El-Ahrairah. Having hack journo characters on tap is useful, it turns out! =]

((Everything here hinting about Yavanna having heard some stuff from Ananke maybe, but not actually knowing the plot of the canon itself, it's truly wonderful. And so exciting! I'm excited! I'm excited for the plot and to do some more writing! Thank you for doing this! Eee!))

((I love how happy Lucian is for the people she's close to, and to be cared about. It's really endearing!))

((I gotta say, I greatly enjoy parody stuff from you. I both find it hilarious and can sense a very relatable bit of listicle rage. Also, I love the elaborate descriptions of the photos. And poor Gabrielle! I'm guessing the biggenbrassenparpenthingen has not ceased to parp since Yavanna's concert.))

1: So first, the ears? Totally real! Which is super wild!

The young god posed for the camera, his cravat rakishly loose, his entire outfit artful in its unkemptness. Sprezzatura, it was called. Effortless cool. His cane twirled in his fingers, captured by the gif.

2: El-Ahrairah's from a really dark continuum: it's violent, and gory, and somehow also for kids! Which is great. Obviously.

This pose was more sombre, the sword being slowly drawn from its cane sheath for the benefit of the gif, a stern and serious expression on the god's face.

3: So, what's he a god of exactly? Well, bunnies, obviously, but also speed, laughter, tricks...

The gif from above continued, and the drawn sword flashed out in a shimmer of silver - to cut a giant carrot in half as it is hurled towards the smiling god.

4: ... Aaaaand other stuff. And lots of it. Which probably explains all the fans.

A panning shot of the crowd behind El-Ahrairah showed a bunch of extremely energetic fans, carrying placards and fanart. Quite a lot of it has had to be pixelated, so much so that it was of lower quality than the average video purporting to be proof that UFOs exist.

5: But don't worry, everybody, he's a perfect gentleman.

The next gif showed an obviously different scene, with El-Ahrairah sipping tea at a fan meet-and-greet in the Courtyard. A DMS agent blushed and appeared entirely too flustered as he kissed her hand, eliciting some swoons from others in the queue.

6: Literally, in fact!

This time, El-Ahrairah was shown swirling something in a brandy glass in the Pennacook Club, of which he was a hereditary member on a technicality. It was a mix of radish juice and carrot juice, at least according to the caption.

7: Our incredible investigative journalism technique of "asking people" determined that not only is he a god, he's a lord! Fancy!

A shot, obviously staged, showed El-Ahrairah rising from the Fountain in a pastiche of the Colin Firth ornamental lake scene from Pride and Prejudice. Clearly, not even the divine can determine the location of HQ's fabled Pool.

8: Don't be fooled though. He's no snooty, pompous stick-in-the-mud.

The next shot showed El-Ahrairah slipping on the Fountain's tiles and falling backwards with a splash, laughing all the way down.

9: He's a party god. Like Dionysus! Or Dionysus's fursona.

There was no sound with the gifs, but even so, a reader could almost feel the bass throb from the pictures of the club. El-Ahrairah's shirt was blue under the blacklight, his cane was absent, his care was forgotten, his movements to the music entrancing.

10: This bunny got moves. That's not grammatically correct, but it is actually correct, so don't send us angry letters. Notary.

More footage from the club. The lights flashed a rainbow of colours. Handprints in glow-paint covered El-Ahrairah's shirt, and he was still dancing, still moving, everything but the music forgotten.

11: He's a really happy guy, is our point. The life of the party.

Foam cascaded down at the club, glowing the iridescent bluish-purple of ultraviolet light. El-Ahrairah rose up through it like a sea eagle surfacing, flicking his long lop ears back in a spray of colour. He was on a table and looked like there was nowhere else he should be.

12: Any party.

The next gif showed the god at some kind of formal masquerade ball, dancing a slow but passionate waltz with a fan.

12a: Any party.

The next showed him from a wider angle playing musical chairs with a gaggle of Nursery children, some Generic Bunting spelling out Happy Relevant Birthday Insert Name Here in the background.

14: But not everything is sunshine and rainbows. Though there are a lot of rainbows.

A short gif of El-Ahrairah smirking in an entirely lascivious manner. Hanging off his arm were a woman, a man, and (in defiance of physics) a novelty toilet brush on a skateboard.

15: You see, El-Ahrairah's got issues with his ex-family.

Beneath is a picture, alas unmoving, of a small round-looking man in a powdered wig and green frock coat, looking like nothing so much as a Regency Brussels sprout. The man had a manic cast to his features and the haft of a placard in his hands.

16: Meet Algernon, 7th Earl Wymbourne. He's one of the Anti-Divinity protestors... and El-Ahrairah's former dad. Yes, former.

A small mob - a moblet, perhaps, a bijou mob perfect for the first-time rioter - surrounded Algie in the photograph, each carrying their own placards. One was a sleep-deprived Pokémon whose placard simply reads "SHUT UP DOK", the reason for which they alone were privy.

17: Before their ascension to godhood, the gods had a mortal life.

This time the still image was of an oil painting, a family portrait in Regency style of Algie, a young boy (obviously his son), and someone who even the most untrained eye could tell was a Suvian, resplendent in a pink crop top, black skinny jeans, and two different spiked belts.

18: Though some of the gods say they were always gods, and never were mortal in the first place.

This gif showed the protestors being harangued by a crowd of PPC personnel wearing bunny ears. There's arguing, but it hasn't turned violent, the worst being the occasional bop on the head with a giant inflatable carrot.

19: El-Ahrairah is one of those gods.

The shot tracked right in the next gif, revealing El-Ahrairah, his back turned to the crowd, his posture far more aloof and cold than in previous footage.

20: Though obviously, it brings him pain.

A new setting again. This gif showed El-Ahrairah lounging in a chair, his posture loose and laissez-faire but his face cast down, as though deep in an ill thought.

21: Quite at odds with the playboy image he's cultivated.

Another new setting, this time vibrant, sunlit. New Caledonia's streets, a crowd of fans watching and cheering for the god as he bounded and danced along them.

22: Heh, didn't realise I'd done that.

Another gif showed El-Ahrairah in a dressing gown smoking a bubble pipe for some unknown reason, a bevy of attractive persons surrounding him in leotards and the ubiquitous ears.

23: Still, he's the fun-loving carefree god-about-town-and/or-corridor we've grown to love.

The next gif returned to New Caledonia. El-Ahrairah put a jaunty spring in his step, leaping and tumbling like an acrobat. So smooth, so natural. So hypnotic.

24: Always ready with a smile and an autograph for his fanbase.

El-Ahrairah tucked and rolled up to a girl and spun around to take a selfie with her phone, then handed it back and bounced away again, leaving her screaming with joy in his wake.

25: And if he isn't?

El-Ahrairah looked back in the next gif, the shot freezing on a tiny knot of protestors, a blob of green visible at their forefront.

26: He can get there fast.

The gif tracked back to El-Ahrairah as he turned away from Algie, then counted on his fingers before disappearing with a THOOM of displaced air that almost, almost drowned the cheers.

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Eight Reasons Why Tash Is Our Autumn Fashion Icon!

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Yavanna: Seventeen Point Four Recurring Gardening Tips

---

((OOC: Look, the Monitor isn't the only game in town. Not any more, at least.))

Before I dive into my updates, I'd like to take this time to thank the both of you for your work on making sure our writing remains accessible. The late nights y'all've presumably spent (or will spent) on making all this work are appreciated.

So, without further ado:

"Mission 1: The Heir of the Phoenix": https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Ind9LLF0YSgWSTj6smNCK6COWUsMRLRYktvxBR5-uVs/edit?usp=sharing becomes https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQ-dD0ixh-A_fqsEnoGnmAbIlVUSt4g_FDlBH5MKt4yayCc8SyjaoAsSR7TMTX544EwCRTya-dKgxi9/pub (clickable link to my one mission)

And for a few stories that may not have made it onto the wiki because I'm Great (tm) about updating it

"Pager Duty": https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kHzTKjRocmI_LQDv3zLi-zC-De3d4TYYqM0oZErKxJg/edit becomes https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRlVPpd_zuPrgC8A161py9FGkkY-XPzG6VU_QiAoFgL7YeRYIYJ3d8FqHKjO4lY7h7pUeWkTX5qC6bL/pub (clickable Pager Duty)

and, though it's not a PPC story, my most well-known Write-Off entry is now published at "Customer Service" (note: brief mentions of NSFW objects, but it's otherwise a comedy piece)

How did I miss that part lol

Maybe she just... acts small? I mean, she been small all her (mortal, non-god) life, so she just sorta acts like that. (And, I learned that, in Tomodachi Life, Miis are small enough to call a normal-sized sandcastle a mountain, so (assuming sizes stay the same) she was tiny as a Mii and had only spent about a month or so as a 3' 2" human before learning about her god-ness and becoming six foot tall due to magic.)

Well, I mean Lucian could walk around on her knees like that one actor did for the play/musical Shrek.

But thanks! I'm happy to see that you liked it!

-kA, rambling.

That's awesome. I love how different she is to Yavanna - he flatly refuses to talk about his past, she spends half the interview on it. It's fun!

Please do draw any pictures that take your fancy, by the way. Art of Lucian would slot beautifully into the published version of this interview.

(Also, hilarious synergy: she's six feet tall, but Yavanna still thinks she should play young Eponine. I guess he just thinks she 'feels' small? :D)

hS

The day after Party in the Parc, one of our lovely interviewers caught up with Lucian, a self proclaimed "Dark God," discussing a matter with Ms. Natalie Green.

Excuse me, Lucian? Could I talk to you for a moment?

Sure. Natalie, I'll talk some more later, okay?

Natalie left, allowing our interviewer to interview the Dark God herself.

How do you feel about being here at the PPC?

Odd. I'm closer to the Upper Layer than I think I should be. This world is weird, half what I remember, half not.

How did it feel to find out that you were Lucian?

Weird? I mean, I had just joined the PPC almost two months ago and haven't even gotten used to it yet. I had just completed my first mission as well. But, now I'm... er, I know I'm Lucian and I thought I would never get this far.

What were you before you be-, I mean, learned that you were Lucian?

Just... Kittyauthor. A former Mii turned human. A decent swordfighter.

Swordfighter?

Yeah. I apparently came from this game called Find Mii, where I had to help rescue Whitney. It's, uh, a long story.

So, you were a Mii?

Yeah. But whatever brought me here changed me into a human.

How does it feel to be six feet tall?

laughs A little weird. I'm almost as tall as O'Ryan! Well, kinda sorta almost. He's still six inches taller.

What were you doing before you found out you were Lucian?

Walking. Listening to music.

Did you have a destination in mind?

No.

What did it feel like to learn that you were Lucian?

Weird. It felt... awesome, true, like I could touch the stars if I wanted to... but weird. Especially with the Power running through me now.

Does the Power have anything to do with the "Upper Layer" you mentioned?

Yeah. The Upper Layer is were my power originates, actually.

How do you feel about the other Gods?

I dunno. I'm a loner by nature, so I tend to avoid them.

Do you exclude O'Ryan Keys from your activities more now that you know you're Lucian?

Actually... no. I think we've grow closer together. He's my friend, he helps me through the PPC, especially now since I have all these memories. She laughs. Although I normal don't mess with mortals, but when exiled, I kinda got used to it.

Do you have anything motivating to say to your followers?

I have followers?

Yes.

Huh. Well, I guess believe in what you think is right and follow that belief.

Alright then. Thank you for this interview.

---

Had to include the "I have followers?" because Lucian thought she was just alone in the world. She likes the idea, sure, but she just thought that, since she didn't often talk to the other gods since schoolwork kept me away from the RP oops that no one would really know her.

-kA, who wrote this as soon as possible and might draw up a profile or an advertisement later.

(PS: Still have to draw Lucian, dang it.)

(Edit: Forgot to include event name because I'm silly. Fixed!)

At least I went with "Was that what you were asking?" and not "Does that answer your question?". Small mercies, but we're about six inches off "So let's circle back and minute our actions to push this forward and reconvene in two weeks".

hS

We're working retroactively now: everything took place in 2020, but we never finished it up. Aside from certain parts of issue 4, nothing takes place in 2021. Is that what you were asking?

hS

(Just to double check because my brain is a bit foggy, did the gods return on the 1st this year or were they always here for about a year? Just double-checking (because, if it's the latter, Crow would have no reaction to Kitty, the former would have Crow react to Kitty suddenly being taller than them) and I might show Natalie Green's reaction. Maybe.)

-kA, trying to find the mission that they started with Ms. Green to make sure they spelled her name correctly.

I'm about halfway through as of now. Mostly, I've been sticking my name in the disclaimers, unless there isn't one (generally in Purim RP or April Fool's Day things), in which case I've been sticking it under the title.

At this point, I'm only doing the documents I own (logical, right?) I do have the option to do this with some docs owned by others, via editing access (co-writes), but I'm not sure I'm comfortable doing that without asking. For the moment, I'm leaving it for the docs' owners to do themselves. (Consider this my permission, if needed, to make published versions of posted co-written docs that I don't own! I'm good with it.)

The main thing, of course, is that the wiki isn't actually up to date when it comes to my writing--I owe a couple updates, I think. That's alright, though--when I get to it, I'll just publish the docs before I link them.

~Z

Update: done now! With what's listed in the doc, I mean. Discovered in the process that there are some docs I didn't get to yet with the other archiving update of noting down when the story was put up and when it's set; I'll have to keep going on that, too, at some point, once I figure out where I left off! ~Z

In the aftermath of the Party in the Parc, our independent reporters caught up with one of the younger gods: Yavanna, the first of the Pantheon to return.

So, Yavanna, an easy one to start with: tell us about yourself.

I'm Yavanna - uh, you knew that. I'm the Earthqueen, the Giver of Fruits, patron of trees and forests. Of the autumn, I suppose, but also of growth and the harvest. I'm one of the fourteen Valar - well, fifteen if you count Melkor, but we don't - we're from Middle-earth, but you probably knew that too. Uh, I guess that's me?

And before that?

Before Middle-earth? I was in the Timeless Halls, singing in the Music of the Ainur. It's how we created the world, you know?

No, I meant… before you were Yavanna, who were you?

Oh. Uh. So I'm… I was the son of a pair of retired PPC agents - I don't really want to say who.

Seriously? We all know it's Dafydd Illian.

I really don't want to say. I'm half-elven, and have grown up around the PPC - I was actually picking my sisters up from Sprouts when I learnt who I really was.

Okay, let's talk about that. How did it feel to become - or learn you were - a god?

It was… like hearing all the trees of the forest suddenly calling my name. And not just calling me, but waiting for my response, longing for my response. And then the very earth itself, reaching up to me, into me, until the whole natural world sang through me. That's why I have to go up onto the stage, I think - not for my own sake, but to give all green and living things the voice they deserve.

But only for a while, right? You've never been shy about how briefly you'll be here. Two years - how do you cope with that?

Well, I mean, as a half-elf I've always had two paths ahead of me. I can be mortal, live a century or so and then leave the worlds behind; or I can choose my father's kin, become an elf and never die. I've never known which was right for me… but maybe this is the third way. To live for two years, to inspire and uplift - and then to return, ninety years from now. It's not called the Recurrence for nothing.

But-

And you know, sometimes I think things need to be brief to be bright. A forest in spring or summer is lovely, all green and growing. But a forest in autumn, decked in reds and golds, its floor a carpet of crisp fallen leaves - that's the true beauty of the woods, right before it fades into winter.

I suppose I've never thought of it like that. Do the other gods see it the same way?

Heh. Okay, yes, there have been some debates on that point, but I think by now they're all… reconciled, I guess, to the time we have. They're not sitting in empty RCs bewailing their fate, if that's what you mean.

You say 'debates'... how do you get on with the rest of the Pantheon? Are you all one big happy family?

I can tell you don't have a large family. I've got two, now, and some things hold true across both. There are always arguments, always people who get on well and those who don't. I like to think I've done a lot to keep the peace - because, well, we have to. If we fall out, if we start properly fighting, it will… I mean, it'll be bad, is all.

You were the first of the gods to return, and the first to go public. It sounds like you feel some kind of responsibility towards the rest of them.

Well, 'first' doesn't mean a lot when we all popped up in the space of, what, two hours? But you're right that I feel responsible. I've had- I can imagine how things could go wrong, if they let themselves get out of control. Some of the things the others could potentially do chill my blood. But it's okay! You don't need to be frightened - that's not why we're here, not who we are. We're here to sing, to inspire you, to help the PPC become even better than it already is.

What're your thoughts on these rumours of extra gods walking around?

What?! Where is she? What have you heard? Because if you know anything - we have to find her, have to stop her before she can ruin eve...ry… wait, what have you heard?

Um… that there are extra gods beside you twelve. There's a girl in Bad Slash claiming to be Aphrael the Child-Goddess of Styricum, though that might just be Kayleigh being Kayleigh. And there's a rumour of some kind of Lovecraftian horror in the Cafeteria, but given what happened to the meatloaf a few years back I'm not convinced. What have you heard?

Nothing.

Really? Because that sounded like a something. Who is 'she'?

Did I say 'she'? I don't think I said 'she'.

You know we're recording this, right?

It was a slip of the tongue. I meant to say that any rumours are clearly mistaken, because the Pantheon is twelve and no more, ever. Are we done?

… sure. Um… so I was able to catch most of the Party in the Parc. You were great, by the way. Do you think there'll be more collaborations in the Pantheon's future, or are you going back to solo shows?

I think you can take it as read that there'll be more. We really need the Pantheon to stick together, to stay united; arguments just hurt everyone, doubly so when there's miracles involved.

Do you think you might branch out a bit? The Troupe By Any Other Name have been asking about doing a musical with you, maybe Hamilton?

I'm not old enough to listen to Hamilton. But, oh! Oh oh oh! What about Les Mis? Lady Kee'ra would make an amazing Valjean, and can't you just hear the Raven Queen singing 'Little Fall of Rain' with me? For Cosette, it'd have to be… hmm, Meridia as young Cosette, with Lucian as little Eppie, but I'm not sure about after she grows up. Ellimist or Gaia? Obviously El-Ahrairah has to be Gavroche, and I think Mary Poppins would make an amazing Javert.

So we can take that as a yes?

It's an incredible idea and I'm suggesting it next time we get together.

Cool. Real talk for a minute: lots of people have noticed this whole thing is taken from a canon called The Wicked + The Divine. Having read it, are you worried about-

Whoa! Spoilers!

… what?

Mom says I'm not old enough to read the comics yet, so I don't want to hear anything about them. Tell you what, I'll read them next year and we can do another interview.

You… I mean… yes, that would be great. Um. So, last question: have you got a message for your fans?

Sure I do!

…

…

I meant one we could write down.

Oh! Uh, be excellent to each other? Sorry, that's from this old movie. Uh, remember that even when things seem cold and dark, and the winter wind is howling around you, that sooner or later spring will come, and everything will be all right again.

And if you want to see me on stage - look for the falling leaves.

---

^_~

hS

25th August, 2020

It's been nearly a month since "the gods returned", and we're less and less inclined to keep the scare-quotes in place. We've all seen them around HQ and New Cal by now. We all know someone who's been to one of their concerts - whether it was a bombastic affair like Kord's, a small, intimate gathering like Stone's, or whatever goes on at the Raven Queen's audiences.

And of course, we all - all of us, literally figuratively everyone in the PPC - at least glimpsed the magnificently over-the-top extravaganza of the Party in the Parc (Tolkien). No-one who heard their performances (for 'songs' is far too brief a word for this) or saw the lights over New Cal can doubt that the gods are… something.

So whether you're an ardent believer in their oft-stated divinity, or are convinced they're a bunch of charlatans and Suvians - or if you're just tagging along for the inevitable drama of the whole thing - we dedicate this special edition of the Multiverse Monitor to you. To the fans - and to the kids turned gods turned superstars who inspire us.

---

Yep, one of HQ's increasing number of identically-titled tabloids, magazines, and newspapers has gotten its claws into the Pantheon. They're willing to print basically anything - interviews, profiles, advertising, gossip columns, you name it, you can write it. I've got an interview with Yavanna coming out, but if you want to write an interview with your own god, go for it! Or a piece about someone else... it'd be great if Team Conspiracy published something (maybe even as a 'conclusion' of their storyline, given that this is only 6 days before the end of the event), but we could have fan reactions, descriptions of concerts... anything. Go wild!

hS

Hello! So, the post about Google Drive making some security changes that could affect some links is still on the front page, and I'm also linking it here for convenience. Per the recent emails from Google about this, it doesn't look like it's going to be as bad as we feared, and that's great!

However, I still implore you to publish your docs. Three reasons:

1. Published docs are so much faster to load than ones that are shared. It's a much smoother user experience. It would make a world of difference to me, personally, when I engage in the occasional stupidly large wiki project that involves opening many, many docs.
2. Privacy. You can see what username a shared doc belongs to by looking in Shared With Me in Drive. As far as I can tell, it is absolutely impossible to tell who owns a published doc unless you attribute yourself within the doc. (More on this later.)
3. Turns out shared Gdocs are not archiving well lately. Anytime I try to load something saved in Wayback Machine in the last couple years, I get a pop-up saying "Unable to load file" and asking me to try reloading or sending an error report, which I can't actually do. I wonder if that's because it's trying to load the navigation sidebar, as sometimes shows up on docs I've tried to save via Archive.today even when there's nothing IN said sidebar. For example, compare "Queen of the Mobs" on Wayback Machine and on Archive.today. You can at least read the latter version, but neither of these is a nice, clean save.

Therefore, if you haven't already, please please please publish your docs. Pleeeeease. Please.

You can use Ypsifang's helpful spreadsheet as a guide to exactly which docs are published and which ones aren't. With Thoth's help, I fully populated it with every Google Docs and Google Sheets link from the wiki. Published docs are marked "Okay"; unpublished ones that aren't broken are marked "At risk". (They may not actually be at risk, but I can't be bothered to change it now. >.> )

Please note some stories appear multiple times. This is deliberate, because they have two or more versions of the link in use. I will eventually fix this. I would like to do so by changing all shared links to published ones. {= ) If you could please supply the link to your published doc in one of the Archive link columns on the line of the first iteration, that would be awesome.

Later is now! Whether you're publishing your docs for the first time or whether you've been doing this all along, please name yourself as the author in your docs! As noted above, if you do not do this, there is no other way to determine who a published doc belongs to without referring to some external source, and sometimes even the wiki doesn't help. Plus, I can't tell you how many times I've opened a doc and seen disclaimers that credit everything under the sun only to wrap up with "and Agents X and Y belong to me." Who is "me"? For posterity, please credit yourself by your Board name.

Of course, there's nothing we can do about docs whose owners aren't around anymore, but if you know someone who doesn't regularly visit the Board or Discord but would still be amenable to improving the readability of their docs, please share this thread with them.

Thank you!

~Neshomeh, wearing her Archivist hat.

P.S. A great big thank you to whoever went on a Wayback Machine archiving spree in 2016. You're a hero!

(Just read the three free parts, I'll look into this "token" system when work allows me the time.)

Okay, this is cool. Like, it's fun seeing so many facets of the PPC translated over, but I also love this purely as a standalone canon. There's just so much intriguing about the setting. Is this taking place on Earth? How are stories coming to life this way? Did people already have access to magic, or did it come from the story infections? I'm looking forward to hearing more of this setting's history! I also really like the visual of magical threads tying the story elements to the real world. (Plot threads?) it makes for a more unique visual for magic than the standard, D&D-style of shooting fireballs. I also like that the zombies are dispatched with actual weapons, rather than with the magic, as it separates what's real from what's pure story.

Lawrence and Allen are interesting protagonists. At first, they seem like the classic PPC jaded-veteran-plus-hyper-newbie combo. But by the end of part three, I see that Lawrence has some unhealthy coping mechanisms against her trust issues and asocial demeanor, and Allen is frighteningly manipulative, and doesn't handle lack of control well. I'm interested in seeing where their relationship goes, and whether they can get a better handle on their mental states.

One minor note, I also liked your frequent use of capital letters for what we see as common nouns. It shows that some elements of the job are official procedure, but so commonplace to the actual agents that they don't warrant much conscious thought.

One typo I found in assignment 1, part 2:
"More enemies rustled into the room, and the agents pressed onward, killing had long been dead and venturing ever deeper."
I think you were wanting "Killing what had long been dead."

Thank you for coming to share this with us!

—doctorlit, ready to read

My last mission came out to... I think it was lukewarm reception? Point is, I could have done better. Well, now I have, and the only reason I haven't done even better is because of burnout on the whole sporking thing (darn PAL and its intense badness short-circuiting me) and... well, when you've written 75 pages you kind of want it out of the way. Also I kind of ran out of betas and without their guidance I don't think there's much I can do.

Without further ado, I present to you a redo of my last mission with different agents and better humor: RC #57 Mission No. 1: RPG Protagonists These Days...

"You know, if the whole fic was like this, it would probably be decent." And so on.

Could be something worth commenting on there, if that's the case.

~Neshomeh

I don't really find the action scenes boring though-- just not very jokeworthy.

The usual practice for text-based MSTs is to include all the text. That's not to say you couldn't take Ki no Shirayuki's advice and summarize any long stretches you can't get jokes out of, but I'd encourage you to try to find the humor in the blandness. I mean, you're talking about action scenes. If the action is boring instead of exciting, something has gone wrong with the writing. What stylistic or other errors have been made? What effect does this have on how you/your characters perceive the scene? Can you compare that to something funny, e.g. "watching this is like watching sloths fight"? If the text waffles on a lot in between things happening, you could intercut with snarky remarks from the MSTers to emphasize that, too, e.g.:

MSTer 1: Ooh, look, something is about to happen!"

text text text

MSTer 1: Wait for it...

text text text

MSTer 1: Wait for it...

text text text

MSTer 1: Wait for it...
MSTer 2: I'm growing old waiting for it. I think I just found a gray hair.

text

MSTer 1: There it is! A thing! It happened!
MSTer 2: How anticlimactic.

You'd want to put your own spin on it, of course. But, TL;DR, the point of an MST is for you to bring out the humor in the badfic. You can't always count on it to do the work for you. Sometimes you gotta make your own funny. {= )

~Neshomeh does not guarantee the above examples are actually funny. YMMV.