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I'm still pretty new here, so I'm not entirely sure. My pair of sporkers, who both have aspirations of agent-hood, seem to have observed massive amounts of booze, vaguely sadistic plant life, and snark.

Meanwhile, the Society computers run on cake, OpenOffice, Microsoft Word, and a sexy hologram with a large chest. How about yours?

It makes me happy to know the artificial intelligence that will one day overthrow us all is a stickler for spelling.

According to NaNoWriMo, this happens if you flood a Word doc with them, which provides a very good method of destroying stories.

Excellent! Gotta love those Christmas colored correction aids.

Oh, thank you! As a thank you gift I'll give you this bag of red and green squiggly lines from our Word databases.

Would you so kind as to take this rather large bag of punctuation? It never hurts to have a little extra on hand in our line of work.

Here is my proposed characters. Personality only glossed over, as the majority will probably become apparent as the stories I hope to write progress. Any advice, stipulations, suggestions, complaints or feedback of any sort is appreciated.
This is very pre-emptive, as I don't have a clue what I'm going to write yet, but I'd like to tell what you all think.

'Mr White'
Age: Unknown
Species: He looks human (raceless, however), and acts it most of the time. That, of course, doesn't prove a thing.
Gender: Male
Partner(s): Whoever he convinces, coerces or blackmails into doing his dirty work.
Home Continuum: Won't talk about, and will have you transferred to the Eskimo Joe section if you don't stop asking questions
Department: Works as a co-ordinator, taking reports and assigning teams as a consequence.
Fandom(s): Co-ordinator, working in a range of canons. Prefers Harry Potter.
Abilities: Unspecified. He's in very good physical shape considering his apparent age, and has a flair with quick learning, but rarely shows more then that.
Weapon Of Choice: Rarely allows matters do degenerate to fisticuffs.

Appearance: Dresses in well-cared for suits, that he keeps neatly pressed, of a range of colors. He seems around his early fifties, but his long white hair and beard say different. His features are worn and craggy, lined and liver-spotted with pronounced veins. Despite this, he's about as feeble as a mountain.
Personality: Charismatic, and while he makes almost everybody hate him, they usually wind up doing what he says anyway. His immediate superiors, to their annoyance, quickly found out he was, in fact, so competent and unflappable he was indispensable in the management of the Potter fandom, and have since tolerated him. The only reason he remains out of upper management is he is happy where he is. Has a habit of giving everyone patronizing nicknames, and doesn't give his respect easily. An old hardass, he possesses less then no tact, rarely bothers with courtesy and has a habit of manipulation even when there is no point to it. Plays the game of politics in his sleep.
He is very interested in Mary Sues, some what disturbingly so, and in fact has occasionally offered insightful theories that have turned out to be true. Sometimes even researches it himself.

Alaric Ivarnsson
Age: Eleven
Species: panserbjørne
Gender: Male
Partner(s): Iori
Home Continuum: His Dark Materials
Department: Assasains. Although his way of dealing with issues is slightly less then subtle, even by assassin standards.
Fandom(s): Harry Potter
Weapon Of Choice: himself

Appearance: His fur is well groomed and cared for, far better then any other armored bears, as he can use advanced products while they make do with sea water, steam and animal fat. A few of his fangs are capped, and his eyes are blue due to contact lenses (he is slightly nearsighted as a consequence of reading with little light). He wears the uniform under his armor, which may be against regulations, but nobody seems interested in bringing that up around him.
Personality: Quite at odds with his fearsome appearance, he's a softly spoken, cautious individual, with a somewhat bookish personality. He enjoys literature, country music, the discussion of philosophy and politics (particularly earlier theories) and making utterly useless knick-knacks when he has access to a forge. He is a born collector, and has over two thousand books in his office, on every subject imaginable. It is hard to get him angry. So take the hint. Don't push him.

William Bradt
Age: Just under thirty
Species: human
Gender: Male
Partner(s):
Home Continuum: Warhammer 40K. Previous occupation as a bounty hunter.
Department: Department of Mary Sues
Multiple offenses division.
Fandom(s): Harry Potter
Weapon Of Choice: A walking arsenal. Likes knives and other sharp implements, so uses them. Including but not limited to: A Nemesis Force Pike, A red lightsaber, a spool of monomolecular wire, and Hatori Hanzo katana.

Appearance: A large man, with a heavy-looking skull and a shaved head; appears fairly brutish to most eyes, but possessed of a graceful style of movement. Trained as a Kasrkin, he always keeps is gear well maintained, and spends spare time cleaning and sharpening it. Doesn't talk to anyone unless spoken too, in which he gives a gruff, unresponsive, noncommittal answer.
Successful at undercover operations as well as those of a more overt nature, and possesses adequate detective skills. Has been accused of liking his job a little too much.

Iori Tanakka
Age: twenty two
Species: human (Asian)
Gender: Female
Partner(s): Alaric Ivarnsson
Home Continuum: Unspecified
Department: Department of Plagiarism
Fandom(s): Harry Potter
Weapon Of Choice: She has been trained in martial arts, but the real sort, so any Sue with delusions of competency can curbstomp her in a fair fight. Which is why she works with big scary Alaric Ivarnsson, who can turn any Sue who decides to push the point into a thin red smear with a cuff of his paws. It's a good system.

Appearance: A small, willowy Japanese girl. Pretty, in a plain sort of way, shoulder length hair tied back in a messy bun held in place with a tuning fork. Twitchy, hyperactive and unable to hold still for more then a few seconds. Always dresses casually, and seems ready to blurt out information, or anything else that crosses her mind. Sweet natured by personality, she tends to be the voice of reason and mercy.

Nickolai (no last name)
Age: just under forty. Prematurely aged
Species: human (Russian)
Gender: male
Partner(s): works alone
Home Continuum: claims to be from Star Trek, but has none of the associated manner, knowledge, or anything.
Department: Department of Temporal Offenses
Fandom(s): Harry Potter
Weapon Of Choice: A modified sniper automatic rifle, with a modified scope and carbine so that it can fire pretty much anything. There is no overkill. There is only the occasional need to reload.

Appearance: Always dresses in uniform, no modifications or additions. Always neat and calm. Face is very ordinary and plain, his main distinguishing mark is each hand tattooed all over the fingers and knuckles with a chaotic jumble of random letters and simple symbols. Radiates the sharp edge professionalism usually brought on by a lifetime in the army or secret service. He looks around fifty, a brawny man whose muscles are beginning the slide into fat, and a face lined and creased like old leather. His hair is left in messy bangs, a salt and pepper of stubble smatters his jaw and cheeks, and his back was so straight it seemed bent backwards. Wears small, perfect circle glasses when reading.
Personality: Be polite. Be efficient. Be professional. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet. Always be neat, never raise your voice, never complain. Always be patient, even if you get angry never let anyone see that you are. Speaks seven languages, and is teaching himself elvish. Good with machines. Never smiles or talks about himself.

Agents Derik and Earwig face a Super Smash Brothers Gary-Stu and get some unexpected help in their first mission.

This doesn't count for the March Madness challenge, since it was finished before March.

~Neshomeh

Department of Mary Sues, Freelance Division

Original post here.

It's not too late to join in. {= D

~Neshomeh

Awesome. In exchange for the stuff you gave us I am giving you a plate of cookies stolen from Adrian's office (shhhhh), a crowbar, and the charred remains of a mutant tree that ripped up all our Bomberman manga (but I'm sure you guys know how to use it better than we do).

I'm Aster Selene, also known as Fuzzle-san, creator of the OC of Aster. Who's pretty much a generic agent...and an idiot.

Have some bleeprin and a heavy blunt object and a fox. How delightful to meet a sister organisation. Diplomatic relations should be most pleasant. I am Sedri, a relative Oldbie and Assassin for the Department of Mary Sues. Nice to meet you. :)

I must have missed something in the last few weeks. What is it?

Just wanted to say that generally Permission turnings-down-of are not permanent "YOU SUCK FOREVERRRR" labels, just "Please try again later" notes. So, if you, by any chance, want a beta, just wanted to drop in. I don't think I know any of the canons you work in, but as per grammar, spelling, syntax, flow, PPC canon... the concerns listed below and so on, I'm generally pretty good at editing and whatnot. So if you want someone to bounce ideas off of or pointers or whatever, go ahead and e-mail me (Vixenmage AT gmail DOT com). I've been kinda looking for something writer-y to do until my muse stops sulking, so I'd greatly appreciate the excuse to muck around in prosaic writings.

Just the kind of thing I needed to read :D

As for embedding links, this is how (with spaces removed):

Link Name

And, how could I forget our chatroom?

Hmmm, after looking at your wiki, it seems like we have a lot in common. We might add you as an affiliate. (That is, when we overcome our chronic laziness about doing stuff. :D )

Also, the link to our TVtropes is on the PPC TVtropes page. Dunno who put it there though.

Not sure how to embed links.

http://acmses.wikia.com/wiki/ACMSESWiki Our wiki with all you need to know
<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/community/TheAnti-ClicheandMary-SueEliminationSociety/65729/">http://www.fanfiction.net/community/TheAnti-ClicheandMary-SueEliminationSociety/65729/ Our C2 on FF with all of the surviving stories (yes we use FF. However we are frustrated with it as well and have considered moving)
<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/forum/AntiClicheandMarySueEliminationSocietyForum/62381/">http://www.fanfiction.net/forum/AntiClicheandMarySueEliminationSociety_Forum/62381/ Forum with our RP Thread and talk forums; "External Links" holds links to our chatrooms
http://rscrystal.deviantart.com/favourites/#ACMSES deviantART collection

I'm Araeph, and I manage the Department of Technical Errors, as well as the Pirates of the Caribbean Mary Sue report. Here, have a red pen! *tosses*

How does an exchange of links sound, for starters?

The PPC Wiki

The List of Everything PPC

Guide to the PPC

The Complete List of PPC Fiction

The Fifty Worst Lines in the Caribbean

Happy Sue-hunting!

—Araeph

Um... Yeah. That's about it.

A hello from one of the agents of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society. We wish to establish diplomatic relations.

I know there are bits that could totally be linked to other articles that I either didn't get round to or didn't notice when I put it onto the wiki - anyone who spots such a thing should definitely do something about it if they want :)

Yeah I guess it can count for March Madness, I didn't even think of that, but why not! :D

Hope things turn around for you both soon. Hectic RL is no good.

~Neshomeh

Well, good to see you around, whoever you are. I'll save the mission, if you don't mind. I've got this website actually meant to preserve things that would otherwise be lost. Convenient, ne?

Anyway. Enjoyed this muchly. I especially liked the rendering of the Sue's dialogue outside the fic-excerpts and how Mirkwood was still Mirkwood despite the mangling. That made what was going on all the more ridiculous and funny. ^_^

~Neshomeh, archiving.