The PPC Posting Board - Latest posts

Chapter Two: A Mage Revealed

Disclaimer: I don't own D&D, I just read the Forgotten Realms wiki and Order of the Stick, which I don't own either. I do own the NMG,as well as the small computer-like device that Thundera Tiger uses later in the chapter. Oh, and the Anti-Spiral king and his voice belongs to Gainax, not me.

The Big Thorn was pissed. The Elder evil and Spirit trees were figthing their proxy war again, and this time, more of their Agents have joined in the melee, fighting with axes. He was very pissed off by that development, and had gone to the scuffle intending to yell telepathically as hard as he could at them. Then, he saw that the axes were rainbow-colored and looked to be glittering.

Then, the Elder Evil and Spirit trees jumped out from behind him and grappled the surprised Flower to the ground.

What's the meaning of this?

Haven't you guessd yet? I mean, you oviously caught a glimpse of the rainbow glittering axes, didn't you?"

And of course, there's the wooden acting that some of the participants were engaged in. Can't belive you didn't notice that.

Let me go this instant, and I promise you, i'll let you keep your jobs!

But we have new jobs now, high-level ones in the New Multiverse Government, the authority that has replaced the Canon Protection Initiative as the paramount power in the Multiverse

We're paramount?

The Leauge of Mary Sue Factories didn't proclaim itself its rulers when it was absorbed by the NMG, so that assumption seemed a safe bet the Elder Evil Tree said.

You absorbed the LMSF?

It was pretty easy. All we had to do was clone the Lust Objects that the Sues, Fangirls, and Fanboys wanted. Bet you never tought of that, didn't you?

But the Flowers there, how did you-

The NMG gave new, submissive, but still comparatively well-rounded personalities to those who refused to assent to their rule.

That's what he did to you, isn't it?

Yes, it is. While we were monolouging, one of their operatives has teleported in and has now extracted your mental data, and is now altering it to fit the NMG's agenda.

The Big Thorn strained to look behind him, and saw Thundera Tiger, who was holding what looked like a small laptop connected to a mechanical spider with very sharp legs.

"Don't worry, Flower, this won't hurt...much."

The screams began shortly after.

-------------------------------------

The Sunflower official was just finishing his paperwork and was thinking of going over his announcement banning the offering of libations to the Ironic Overpower when three axemen from what was formerly DAVD teleported inside his office and surrounded him, bloodlust in their eyes.

So, the NMG have made their move, haven't they?

"How do you know about the NMG?"said the psychotic former Agents in a voice that was reminiscent of the Anti-Spiral king's japanese voice.

Better intelligence. The Sub Rosa now keeps track of every potential threat to the CPI. You were the most powerful, as well as the most ambitious. You only cared about ruling the Multiverse, and defiling canon-as well as protecting it, was just a means to an end.

"Xanatos! Tzeentech! Lelouch! We tought we had killed all your operatives!"

You did. But you heard of the D&D spell, "Speak with Dead?"

"You had acsess to that? So our leaders were right, letting you retrive the bodies would have resulted in a more amusing, though harder, game."

Yes, It would have. By the way, have you heard of the D&D spell, Chain Lightning?

As he said that, a lightning bolt came out from his index finger which killed one of the axemen, moved on to shock the second one, and still had enough strength to electrocute the third.

He then lifted up his hands, and his clothing changed into Wizard's robes. He opened a portal to hammerspace using an RA on his desk, and retrived the custom wizard's staff he had been storing there since he had heard of the NMG.

He then cast stoneskin on himself and went out of his office. Sure enough, there were several axemen waiting for him. The NMG minions charged, but the SO had initiative on his side and he managed to burn them to a crisp with a fireball before the first one reached him.

If only we brought the Big Thorn and his subordinate Flowers into our self-defense conspiracy earlier...

[[OOC: I need to sleep for a while. This is only half of the Chapter, so if you are willing, please don't post it on the Fanfic Land website before I post the second part.]]

thanx u SO MCUH 4 updatin!

der suld b mure storys abt da flors deyr just suuuu much fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun! (an course dey can bluhs ifd u say dey can! ur teh AUTHIOR!)

i cant tell b/c u dont use gud namez but f their both gurlz thats just ICKY and EW bt f eldehwhen iz boy den itz OK

Honest Critic's bio:

I am a naturally talented editor and proofreader with more than a year of experience with story-writing. I know how to avoid all pitfalls and cliches, so if anyone ever needs advice, you are welcome to email me. My stories aim to show how excellent an institution the PPC truly is, and perhaps improve the overall quality of writing on Fanfic Land (which, by the way, should always be spelled as two words, no matter what the site logo seems to imply).

A few tips for all writers:
- Check your spelling and grammar. There is NO EXCUSE for not doing this! If you are incapable, either don't write or ask for help. I am more than willing to provide assistance, free of charge.

- NEVER insert author's notes into your text. This is messy and distracting and always unecessary. If your story doesn't tell us what we need to know, it's a bad story.

- Respect all reviewers. If you are told you need to take the story down and completely re-write it, do so. They know what they're talking about.

~

Title: The Respectful Tale of Canon Correction
Rating: G (Because no story ever needs to include anything indecent.)
Genre: General (What is it with all this romance recently? Once upon a time, the PPC was about improving quality.
Summary: Two agents, Honesty Jones and Charity Whipple, discuss their recent experiences in the PPC Cafeteria, and launch a brilliant plan to restore the agency to its original, pure form.


Agent Honesty Jones, former Bad Slash agent, worked in the Department of Finance and was quite competant. Agent Charity Whipple was active, diligently working to ensure that only the best slash stories were presented to the world at large. The two were friends, and met regularly for tea and coffee in the Cafeteria.

One day, Honesty said, "My friend, I regret to say that I believe the PPC is taking a turn for the worse."

"I agree," replied Charity. "No one seems to care about purity anymore."

"Indeed. I wouldn't be surprised if we were the only two agents left in all the PPC who truly care about restoring goodness and truth to the Word Worlds."

"Honesty, my friend," said Charity, getting an idea; "I have an idea. We should do something about this terrible problem."

"My dear Charity, it is not our place. We should never question Upstairs, no matter how foolish their choices may be."

"My dear Honesty, that is precisely my point. They are making foolish choices, such as allowing agents with obvious mental issues to be partners. If they cannot see that, they do not deserve to BE 'Upstairs'. We should. We should take over management of the PPC."

Honesty considered this. Charity was right, but then, Charity had a tendency to be over-enthusiastic at times when she had consmued just a little more sugar than her diet allowed (Honesty would never say so, of course, for Charity was nervous about her weight, and once had even consumed a glass of alcohol in her worry over it). However, being enthusiastic - or "passionate", as was the more polite term - was not a bad thing, and Honesty decided that her dear friend was right.

"Charity, you are right. The PPC needs a firm hand to ensure its future. We must be that hand. Come; we shall talk to the Department Heads one by one until they conceed to our request."

"Thank you, my friend. However, I suggest we save the Bad Slash Department for last; it is a fine line we Slash agents walk with regards to characterisation. All too often I have found myself forced to destroy many promising relationships that could be legally labelled 'AU' and promoted more worldwide peace and harmony with regards to the issue of personal sexuality."

"You must always be careful, Charity, not to let your good and noble intentions blind you to the issues of characterisation. It is a true shame that so few original story writers are brave enough to face criticism for including bi- and homosexuality in their stories, but it is not our place to allow poorly characterised stories to continue to exist simply because they 'even out' the overall bias towards heterosexuality."

"Indeed, you are right Honesty; I simply grieve for those poor, unfortunate souls who will remain in True Angst forever. Perhaps we should also consult with the Department of Angst..."

"Charity," warned Honesty firmly, "not yet. First we must ensure that the PPC itself functions properly. Then we shall see about changing policies."

"You are right, of course," said Charity. "Let us begin our journey. I suggest we see the Sunflower Official first..."

~ End of Chapter One ~

yuck why do u writ such rubish?

...but your presentation is appalling. Perhaps your friends, who 'got you into' slash, would be more suitable for writing this story than you are.

Except for your author's notes and chapter title. If you are capable of using proper spelling and punctuation throughout your story, you should be able to use it all the time. Never write in numerals and do not EVER use multiple punctuation marks. Other than that, you have done very well.

no 1 shuld eva pair ahrry wit CHALRIE! how dare dey bring anumecharcters iinto a POTERVERSE FIC! gud on ur agnts 4 takin it on! dos my rview cont 4 2 plzzzz ined moreee!

That was the most convoluted piece of rubbish I have read YET on this terrible website. English is not a language which capitalises words other than proper nouns and those at the beginning of a sentence. Learn our language properly before you try to use it.

You can start by re-writing the whole thing.

She (or he) clearly knows better than you do. 'Heartfelt stories' are no good if no one can understand them and it's VERY IMPORTANT TO SPELL EVERYTHING RIGHT! You'll note that I, for example, never get 'a few things here and there' wrong.

So Romantic. Please continue.

You didn't get thirty reviews because you didn't deserve them. You didn't even deserve ONE. Your story was cliched, convoluted and OOC. Do you know what that means? "Out of Character." You have no idea what kind of people Sedri and Iza are, and you shouldn't try to understand them. You'll fail. You're not a nice person and you have no grasp on common sense - if you dare to keep criticising slash you're going to end up arrested by social workers because SLASH is the FUTURE. How else are we going to control the world's population problem?

Stop writing. Go and work at McDonald's.

i got a shiny i gont a shiny i got a SHINY YYYYY!

Bring on the ice cream! And while we're at it - Convenient Cake for all. :D

*Wolfs down like there's no tommorow*

Happy Birthday! By the way, here's an Anti-Lustin blade and daggers, just in case you have a stalker.

Here, have an otter plushie. Soft, cuddly, and abso-freakin'-lutely adorable. ^_^

*dashes for icecream*

Chapter one: A School Falls.

Disclaimer: I don't own Warhammer 40k, I just looked at its wiki. I don't own D&D either, I just read Order of the Stick

OFUM was doing nicely, Miss Cam tought as she walked its corridors smiling. The students were learning at a fast pace,if only to avoid the more painful exercises. That was copuled with good weather conditions, better and better food (the measures that were taken to keep Gandalf from the kitchen were geting more effective as time passed)and a general sense of well-being that prevaded the premises.

It was all due to the method of pouring libations to the Ironic Overpower that had been spreading lately. Normally, she would have rejected it as a dangerous superstition, albeit one that had spread through the Canon Protection Initiative like wildfire. Wildfire caused by political flames from the 08' elections, no less. However, not only had it come from her friend, Miss Brin, but it also appeared to work. There was a large Vambiolaria outbreak at that time, but after a few days of offerings, large amounts of the cure were found and sucssesfully disturbed to the populace.

So several members of her staff tried it, and large numbers of the student body joined too. Eventually, she found herself doing the ritual several times a day. She threw her head back, letting her long hair flow out.

She looked at the Garden and saw the Canons and the students cooperating to pour more libations to appease the Ironic Overpower. They were singing in Queyna while doing so, the students having taken pleasure in learning the language. Many who have finished the ritual were laughing while they ate fruit from the orchards of southern Gondor and the Shire. They looked really happy, especially the ones pouring the libations. Miss Cam was debating on whether to join them, when the Canons and Students took off their clothes and began an orgy.

Man and Woman, Man and Man, Woman on Woman, Girl on Boy, Boy on Boy, Girl on Girl, and Man on Boy, Woman on Boy, Man on Girl and Woman on...oh, you get the drift! They were doing it like they were in My Immortal, as well. As Miss Cam decided to charge towards them in order to stop the depravity, Thundera Tiger appeared before her, her eyes filled with glitter and holding a sueish looking sword. Miss Cam put two and two together.

"I see. It's ovious now. The Libations were just a gambit by what centralized authority the Sues have put together in order to undermine us. And it worked."

"Hahahahaha! The Sues? This plan encompasses more than them alone. This is a wide-ranging conspiracy that encompasses all badfic, as well as people who, though not Sues themselves-some of them are actually Goofic writers who just want power that only Canon Defilement can give-, have joined together to take down the CPI and replace it with a regime that will rule over the Multiverse with an Admantium fist."

Thundera Tiger then waved her sword and several pink wires sprang out of it and tied up Miss Cam.

"Snap out of it! You're not a Sue, Thundera!"

"But I am now. And no, there is no way you can snap me out, not at this point in the story!"

"Now look at the garden, and see the fall of OFUM!"

Miss Cam did as was told, and saw a slight shimmer in the air above the orgy. As she looked, the shimmer grew in size, becoming more ovious by the second. Then, a tear in space emerged at the center of the shimmer, which resembled deciptions of the Eye of Terror that Students versed in Warhammer 40k lore had shown her.

Then, Various Daemons (full-size, no less!) charged out of the rip and began tearing apart, infecting, mutating, and violating the orgy's participants. Not in that order, either. Miss Cam was almost driven insane at the sight. Then, the Daemons finshed with their prey and looked at her.

She tried to crawl away, but her traitorous former friend stepped on Miss Cam's neck, restraining her. She laughed.

"Hahahahaha! Do you think i'll just let you escape!? No, you're going to suffer what your staff and students did, and more!" As she spoke, a daemoinaclly possesed Gimli (who was wearing a coat made from Lina's skin) walked towards her and begin to feel her up.

"Farewell, Miss Cam!" Thundera teleported out just as waves of pleasure and pain coursed through Miss Cam's body.

Author's Note: First Chapter finished! Give me good reviews (that's plural) before I post the Next one!

[[OOC: Yes, 'Burning Watier' has aquired some standards regarding spelling.]]

Chapter one: A School Falls, and a mage is revealed

Disclaimer: I don't own Warhammer 40k, I just looked at its wiki. I don't own D&D either, I just read Order of the Stick

OFUM was doing nicely, Miss Cam tought as she walked its corridors smiling. The students were learning at a fast pace,if only to avoid the more painful exercises. That was copuled with good weather conditions, better and better food (the measures that were taken to keep Gandalf from the kitchen were geting more effective as time passed)and a general sense of well-being that prevaded the premises.

It was all due to the method of pouring libations to the Ironic Overpower that had been spreading lately. Normally, she would have rejected it as a dangerous superstition, albeit one that had spread through the Canon Protection Initiative like wildfire. Wildfire caused by political flames from the 08' elections, no less. However, not only had it come from her friend, Miss Brin, but it also appeared to work. There was a large Vambiolaria outbreak at that time, but after a few days of offerings, large amounts of the cure were found and sucssesfully disturbed to the populace.

So several members of her staff tried it, and large numbers of the student body joined too. Eventually, she found herself doing the ritual several times a day. She threw her head back, letting her long hair flow out.

She looked at the Garden and saw the Canons and the students cooperating to pour more libations to appease the Ironic Overpower. They were singing in Queyna while doing so, the students having taken pleasure in learning the language. Many who have finished the ritual were laughing while they ate fruit from the orchards of southern Gondor and the Shire. They looked really happy, especially the ones pouring the libations. Miss Cam was debating on whether to join them, when the Canons and Students took off their clothes and began an orgy.

Man and Woman, Man and Man, Woman on Woman, Girl on Boy, Boy on Boy, Girl on Girl, and Man on Boy, Woman on Boy, Man on Girl and Woman on...oh, you get the drift! They were doing it like they were in My Immortal, as well. As Miss Cam decided to charge towards them in order to stop the depravity, Thundera Tiger appeared before her, her eyes filled with glitter and holding a sueish looking sword. Miss Cam put two and two together.

"I see. It's ovious now. The Libations were just a gambit by what centralized authority the Sues have put together in order to undermine us. And it worked."

"Hahahahaha! The Sues? This plan encompasses more than them alone. This is a wide-ranging conspiracy that encompasses all badfic, as well as people who, though not Sues themselves-some of them are actually Goofic writers who just want power that only Canon Defilement can give-, have joined together to take down the CPI and replace it with a regime that will rule over the Multiverse with an Admantium fist."

Thundera Tiger then waved her sword and several pink wires sprang out of it and tied up Miss Cam.

"Snap out of it! You're not a Sue, Thundera!"

"But I am now. And no, there is no way you can snap me out, not at this point in the story!"

"Now look at the garden, and see the fall of OFUM!"

Miss Cam did as was told, and saw a slight shimmer in the air above the orgy. As she looked, the shimmer grew in size, becoming more ovious by the second. Then, a tear in space emerged at the center of the shimmer, which resembled deciptions of the Eye of Terror that Students versed in Warhammer 40k lore had shown her.

Then, Various Daemons (full-size, no less!) charged out of the rip and began tearing apart, infecting, mutating, and violating the orgy's participants. Not in that order, either. Miss Cam was almost driven insane at the sight. Then, the Daemons finshed with their prey and looked at her.

She tried to crawl away, but her traitorous former friend stepped on Miss Cam's neck, restraining her. She laughed.

"Hahahahaha! Do you think i'll just let you escape!? No, you're going to suffer what your staff and students did, and more!" As she spoke, a daemoinaclly possesed Gimli (who was wearing a coat made from Lina's skin) walked towards her and begin to feel her up.

"Farewell, Miss Cam!" Thundera teleported out just as waves of pleasure and pain coursed through Miss Cam's body.

Author's Note: First Chapter finished! Give me good reviews (that's plural) before I post the Next one!

[[OOC: Yes, 'Burning Watier' has aquired some standards regarding spelling.]]

Iz the clover gonna make out wit the SO!?! Whut about the otherflowers, like the roses and the Marqwuis? Is Jaycacia ther? Wont she b jelus?

XOXOX

Dat stuff at the end isnt JayBirds fualt, she said that b4. Sum1 is hacking her or something. Stupid hackerz! STFU!

XOXOX