The PPC Posting Board - Latest posts

U shuldn;t b so mEEEEEn she is doin her bes t but evry1 mks som mistaks if u dnt hav NEthing nice 2 sy then dont say it!!111!!!! PS MyskaLuvvrrr i think yr story is Awesum!!! :DDDD

The PPC has been blatently disrespected in recent years and I consider it my DUTY to correct this horrid error.

Genre: General
Summary: Teh SO lerns th erorr of his wayz!!!1! LOLL!!!


((Sorry, it appears that I'm not having a good night :P))

WOOWW this Is SOOO COOOOLLLL!!1!! it was So EEEEVVILLLLL when mT diied tnk u 4 briging him bck!!! 1!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD

This one is Russian and very huge. Watch the parking spots.

And watch for three Agents swooping on the food. There won't be anything left after them. KRISPROLLS STOP IT!!! SOUTH AND WHATEVER, SAME FOR YOU TOO!!!

she sounds lik a totallly intrestin charachter u shuld writ lots mre about her

Rated K+, category: PPC

Teh flowrs are in high shcool!!! that iz soo awsume!! update soon plz i rlly want t o know wht happens next!!!!

oK chappiez, here is mi 1st storie! I hop u alll l ike it lOl!!

&^%$(****&^%%*(*(&&&

One day in Hq t was a normul day an jay an aCacaica had jjust come bak from a missson wher they kiulled a totally eEEEvil Sue nd fed her to teh blrogg (aN is that how u splkl it? cn;t rememenebr wht its clled lol) an now they wr stting in theyre rC w hen t consle went bipp! And jy sad 'thas wierd. it nevr just goes bip it alwrys, goes BEEEEEPPPPPPP!!1!1!' (AN it does 2, lolol!!) So theyl uuked at the csreen & tehre was a msg from the S O! sayin 'come to myy offic now!!!'
So when the got to hiz offce he) was sittting behind the dskj frwoning (AN can fLowers frown lol? well just say they cn) at thm an he said 'u 2 are in lots of truble! U wll have to do xtra missons as punishmint!!' An acacai said 'oh noes! why do u lways have 2 be so meeen to us?' an Jai said 'yes, u shoud b nicer to us,' And thn the S.o said, 'U R right I should' an then he smild at thm & sad 'oK, I willl giv u a pay rize insted!!' An Jy an Accaca wre supre happpy!!!!1!!111!! (an; cos they g ot a pay rize loL!)

^%#^$&^$&&^(*&(&)(&

so whut do u thinkk!!! Shuld i write moarr!?!?! R&R PLEASE IF U DO U WILL GET A COOKIE IF YOU FLAME MY I WILL LAUGH A T U!!!!11!1!11!!!!

((This looks like fun :D ))

UN: vampyregrrl
Bio: Hia a ll u kool catzz LOL Im a BIGGG fan of teh PpC!! Exspeclley of maksThings nd the sO tho he iz so mEeeeen sumtimes loLolol!1! Nd I tought I;d tri wrting some sturies of my ownn so telll meh what u think cuz my bFf sayz their reall gud!1!!!!!11

Rating: G
Genre: General, Romance
Category: Official Fanfiction Universities
Summary: Prequel to Masquerade of OFUM. Lilith Wydenbrooke is selected to attend OFUM! A Frodo Fangirl, what happens to her when Legolas falls for her? R/R please!

Author’s Notes: This is the prequel to “Masquerade of OFUM”! Hope you enjoy reading it and Read and Review! Please!
The Diary of Lilith Wydenbrooke
September 1st
OFUM
Dearest Elwing,
My name is Lilith Wydenbrooke, and I will be your best friend throughout our years together here at OFUM, the Official Fanfiction University, Middle-earth. Somebody left you on my bed, and I find it very nice (and handy) to have a new friend and confidant.
First off, I would like to tell you of all the exciting things that have happened so far in my life. On Earth I am an ordinary preteen girl who is trying to survive the sudden onslaught if hormones. In fact, I find Frodo absolutely adorable! So right then and there, after I had read the trilogy three times through (each book, mind you), the Hobbit two times through, and the Silmarillion’s “Of Beren and Luthien” section six times (I read the rest at least four times through), I decided to watch the movies, and Frodo was even cuter! So then, I wrote a batch of crossovers and a few drabbles, and then, I wrote a Tenth Walker Mary-Sue. Well, I wrote it purely out of curiosity, and, so, curiosity sent the cat to Middle-earth.
I have a carbon of my acceptance letter and registration form. Here it is:

Official Fanfiction University, Middle-earth
Headmaster: [That’s for me and the staff to know, and you to find out. Signed, Miss Cam]
Assistant Headmaster: Gandalf Stormcrow
Course co-ordinator: Miss Camilla Sandman
Head of staff: Aragorn, son of Arathorn, King Elessar, Strider, Wingfoot, the Elfstone, etc.
Dear Miss Lilith Wydenbrooke,
We are not completely pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at OFUM, the Official Fanfiction University, Middle-earth. We have become aware of your most recent fanfiction piece entitled “A Mary Sue in Middle Earth”.
Below is a list of subjects you will be covering this year and your registration form. Please fill out the form.
We hope to see you at OFUM tomorrow via Rohan Express carriage!
Signed, Miss Cam

Official Fanfiction University, Middle-earth
Registration Form
NAME: _________________
RACE:
Elf/Hobbit/Dwarf/Man (Homo Sapiens)/*Other (please specify) ________
*Note: if your race is one that can enchant males, the influence will not affect them here at OFUM.
GENDER:
Male Female
LUST OBJECT:
Legolas/Frodo/Aragorn/Boromir/Pippin/Merry/Sam/Other (please specify) _________
FEAR OF SPIDERS:
Yes/No
FEAR OF HEIGHTS:
Yes/No
PERFERRED DARK LORD:
Sauron/Morgoth
CHOOSE A NUMBER:
Ten/Nine/Eleven

So that’s pretty much what the form looked like, really. So I filled it out, and went to sleep, as it was nighttime, you see. When I woke up, I was being tossed around in a carriage. That continued for some time before we pulled up to an imposing castle. There was a wide lake, and a forest of Ents, I believe. Looked quite like Hogwarts, if I do say so myself.
Now, Elwing, did you know that my Student Advisor is LEGOLAS THRANDUILLION, of all the Elves in Arda. I had wished for Elrond or Frodo. I’d choose Elrond since he would actually give advice, seeing as how Imladris is, according to canon, supposed to be a place where one gets advice and knowledge. And I wanted Frodo because of my hormones. What?
You know what else, Elwing? Legolas actually seemed enthusiastic about this whole ordeal, as he insisted on escorting me right into the auditorium. Why then, I ask you, did Eru give me legs? If he insists on propelling me around, I will never need to walk again. How nice.
But he is quite a polite elf, in some ways. He kissed my hand and now half the girls in the University are trying to fish the details out of me, including my own roommate, Nimloth. She is a Legolas Luster and an elf as well. As long as it isn’t Rosalie Berthilide Evangeline Eglantine Pottermalfoy Sparrowturner Hawkesbury I shall be fine, actually. Really, does the wretch need so many names? She is also a Chibi Elf Mary Sue. Trying to catch Legolas’s attention, obviously. As if. Didn’t she read the form?
September 2nd
OFUM
Dearest Elwing,
I think I have a “secret” admirer. I went to the library this morning and when I returned to the dorm to change for the party tonight I found a dress on my bed. There was a note attached to the green brooch on the matching cloak. Not idly do the leaves of Lothlorien fall, and yet the cloak was of Lothlorien make, yet made for dances. I think this person who is giving me these gifts must be one of the Fellowship members after Moria.
Here is the note:
Dearest Lilith,
I love your hair, like midnight in silky rivers.
I love your eyes, like the grey twilight.
If I made it clear that I love you, would you set your hands in mine?
We have met before, and we shall meet again, melamin.
~ An Elvish Admirer

I think the “Elvish Admirer” just made it clear who he is. Better not tell anyone who lusts after him, which is, what? Half of OFUM?
Later:
Dance was absolutely wonderful. Danced with Legolas a lot, before he noticed that a red-haired girl began hitting on Gimli. The girl fainted in his arms and Legolas carried her off to bed. Very nice of him, actually.

~~
Miss Cam blinked as she looked at the diary. It was urple, with pages in wilver covered in blello ink. “What in Eru’s good name IS this?” she demanded of thin air.
The thin air was not sentient, so it did not reply.
The incensed Course Co-ordinator stood up, urple diary loosely clutched in her hand as if it might explode. “I need to alert the staff and the mini-Balrogs. This menance must be stopped. Immediately.”
With that, she strode from the empty classroom.

Gee, you're so conservative! Have some fun, isn't the PPC supposed to be FUN?!

Mid teens? That could be any one of a number of things though. Mid teens is fifteen, sixteen, seventeen. Whichever you pick, you'll make me feel so old Trojie should be coming at me with the little hammer and the special fossil grin. Go on, how bad is it?

Fifteen is scary. I remember fifteen. Fifteen is sitting out on the bathroom roof watching Tom jump for the fun of it, and the triples were for singles, and everything tasted of vodka.

Sixteen? You could be sixteen! Sixteen is a good age. Sixteen was... head lice and no shoes in a shop window until the section and it's a good thing we didn't notice at the time and -

Seventeen! Let's hope you're seventeen. Seventeen's a good one. No, wait. Zog died -

Okay, I think I'll be over here, waiting until people stop having birthdays and I stop feeling so damned old.

Someone else lieks the so too! Yay im not alone!

i hope the so wins and he and the clover fall in luv!

Well technically its the 3rd chappie but the 1st was a prolouge so this is chappie number 2!

AN: im_tehmarster, your just jealous because i can write better than you so you act mean. Thanx everyone who left NICE reviews!!1!

Chapter 2

the so was sitting in his office starin out the window (AN: do they have windows? cant rembemr) when the door flrw open and agent rebecca walked it.

"sir i think theres someone here who knows you" she said.
she steeped aside and there in the doorway was the last person the so ever thought hed see again. "Raven Rose" he whispered.

the Raven Rose walked into the office as if shed always been there. "hi sunny" she said. "did u miss me?"

she came up to his desk and leaned over giving hima passionate kiss. "i knew u werent dead" the so said when they were done kissing. "i knew it."

"who is she" rebecca asked. the so turned to her. hed been so excited hed forgotten she was there. "this is my true love" he said. "we though she was gone but now shes back."

"but i came back for a reson" said the Raven Rose. "we have to stop them, sunny. they're coming."

AN: its getting exciting, huh? plz r+r! And NO FLAMES!

Chapter Two: A Mage Revealed

Disclaimer: I don't own D&D, I just read the Forgotten Realms wiki and Order of the Stick, which I don't own either. I do own the NMG,as well as the small computer-like device that Thundera Tiger uses later in the chapter. Oh, and the Anti-Spiral king and his voice belongs to Gainax, not me.

The Big Thorn was pissed. The Elder evil and Spirit trees were figthing their proxy war again, and this time, more of their Agents have joined in the melee, fighting with axes. He was very pissed off by that development, and had gone to the scuffle intending to yell telepathically as hard as he could at them. Then, he saw that the axes were rainbow-colored and looked to be glittering.

Then, the Elder Evil and Spirit trees jumped out from behind him and grappled the surprised Flower to the ground.

What's the meaning of this?

Haven't you guessd yet? I mean, you oviously caught a glimpse of the rainbow glittering axes, didn't you?"

And of course, there's the wooden acting that some of the participants were engaged in. Can't belive you didn't notice that.

Let me go this instant, and I promise you, i'll let you keep your jobs!

But we have new jobs now, high-level ones in the New Multiverse Government, the authority that has replaced the Canon Protection Initiative as the paramount power in the Multiverse

We're paramount?

The Leauge of Mary Sue Factories didn't proclaim itself its rulers when it was absorbed by the NMG, so that assumption seemed a safe bet the Elder Evil Tree said.

You absorbed the LMSF?

It was pretty easy. All we had to do was clone the Lust Objects that the Sues, Fangirls, and Fanboys wanted. Bet you never tought of that, didn't you?

But the Flowers there, how did you-

The NMG gave new, submissive, but still comparatively well-rounded personalities to those who refused to assent to their rule.

That's what he did to you, isn't it?

Yes, it is. While we were monolouging, one of their operatives has teleported in and has now extracted your mental data, and is now altering it to fit the NMG's agenda.

The Big Thorn strained to look behind him, and saw Thundera Tiger, who was holding what looked like a small laptop connected to a mechanical spider with very sharp legs.

"Don't worry, Flower, this won't hurt...much."

The screams began shortly after.

-------------------------------------

The Sunflower official was just finishing his paperwork and was thinking of going over his announcement banning the offering of libations to the Ironic Overpower when three axemen from what was formerly DAVD teleported inside his office and surrounded him, bloodlust in their eyes.

So, the NMG have made their move, haven't they?

"How do you know about the NMG?"said the psychotic former Agents in a voice that was reminiscent of the Anti-Spiral king's japanese voice.

Better intelligence. The Sub Rosa now keeps track of every potential threat to the CPI. You were the most powerful, as well as the most ambitious. You only cared about ruling the Multiverse, and defiling canon-as well as protecting it, was just a means to an end.

"Xanatos! Tzeentech! Lelouch! We tought we had killed all your operatives!"

You did. But you heard of the D&D spell, "Speak with Dead?"

"You had acsess to that? So our leaders were right, letting you retrive the bodies would have resulted in a more amusing, though harder, game."

Yes, It would have. By the way, have you heard of the D&D spell, Chain Lightning?

As he said that, a lightning bolt came out from his index finger which killed one of the axemen, moved on to shock the second one, and still had enough strength to electrocute the third.

He then lifted up his hands, and his clothing changed into Wizard's robes. He opened a portal to hammerspace using an RA on his desk, and retrived the custom wizard's staff he had been storing there since he had heard of the NMG.

He then cast stoneskin on himself and went out of his office. Sure enough, there were several axemen waiting for him. The NMG minions charged, but the SO had initiative on his side and he managed to burn them to a crisp with a fireball before the first one reached him.

If only we brought the Big Thorn and his subordinate Flowers into our self-defense conspiracy earlier...

[[OOC: I need to sleep for a while. This is only half of the Chapter, so if you are willing, please don't post it on the Fanfic Land website before I post the second part.]]

thanx u SO MCUH 4 updatin!

der suld b mure storys abt da flors deyr just suuuu much fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun! (an course dey can bluhs ifd u say dey can! ur teh AUTHIOR!)

i cant tell b/c u dont use gud namez but f their both gurlz thats just ICKY and EW bt f eldehwhen iz boy den itz OK

Honest Critic's bio:

I am a naturally talented editor and proofreader with more than a year of experience with story-writing. I know how to avoid all pitfalls and cliches, so if anyone ever needs advice, you are welcome to email me. My stories aim to show how excellent an institution the PPC truly is, and perhaps improve the overall quality of writing on Fanfic Land (which, by the way, should always be spelled as two words, no matter what the site logo seems to imply).

A few tips for all writers:
- Check your spelling and grammar. There is NO EXCUSE for not doing this! If you are incapable, either don't write or ask for help. I am more than willing to provide assistance, free of charge.

- NEVER insert author's notes into your text. This is messy and distracting and always unecessary. If your story doesn't tell us what we need to know, it's a bad story.

- Respect all reviewers. If you are told you need to take the story down and completely re-write it, do so. They know what they're talking about.

~

Title: The Respectful Tale of Canon Correction
Rating: G (Because no story ever needs to include anything indecent.)
Genre: General (What is it with all this romance recently? Once upon a time, the PPC was about improving quality.
Summary: Two agents, Honesty Jones and Charity Whipple, discuss their recent experiences in the PPC Cafeteria, and launch a brilliant plan to restore the agency to its original, pure form.


Agent Honesty Jones, former Bad Slash agent, worked in the Department of Finance and was quite competant. Agent Charity Whipple was active, diligently working to ensure that only the best slash stories were presented to the world at large. The two were friends, and met regularly for tea and coffee in the Cafeteria.

One day, Honesty said, "My friend, I regret to say that I believe the PPC is taking a turn for the worse."

"I agree," replied Charity. "No one seems to care about purity anymore."

"Indeed. I wouldn't be surprised if we were the only two agents left in all the PPC who truly care about restoring goodness and truth to the Word Worlds."

"Honesty, my friend," said Charity, getting an idea; "I have an idea. We should do something about this terrible problem."

"My dear Charity, it is not our place. We should never question Upstairs, no matter how foolish their choices may be."

"My dear Honesty, that is precisely my point. They are making foolish choices, such as allowing agents with obvious mental issues to be partners. If they cannot see that, they do not deserve to BE 'Upstairs'. We should. We should take over management of the PPC."

Honesty considered this. Charity was right, but then, Charity had a tendency to be over-enthusiastic at times when she had consmued just a little more sugar than her diet allowed (Honesty would never say so, of course, for Charity was nervous about her weight, and once had even consumed a glass of alcohol in her worry over it). However, being enthusiastic - or "passionate", as was the more polite term - was not a bad thing, and Honesty decided that her dear friend was right.

"Charity, you are right. The PPC needs a firm hand to ensure its future. We must be that hand. Come; we shall talk to the Department Heads one by one until they conceed to our request."

"Thank you, my friend. However, I suggest we save the Bad Slash Department for last; it is a fine line we Slash agents walk with regards to characterisation. All too often I have found myself forced to destroy many promising relationships that could be legally labelled 'AU' and promoted more worldwide peace and harmony with regards to the issue of personal sexuality."

"You must always be careful, Charity, not to let your good and noble intentions blind you to the issues of characterisation. It is a true shame that so few original story writers are brave enough to face criticism for including bi- and homosexuality in their stories, but it is not our place to allow poorly characterised stories to continue to exist simply because they 'even out' the overall bias towards heterosexuality."

"Indeed, you are right Honesty; I simply grieve for those poor, unfortunate souls who will remain in True Angst forever. Perhaps we should also consult with the Department of Angst..."

"Charity," warned Honesty firmly, "not yet. First we must ensure that the PPC itself functions properly. Then we shall see about changing policies."

"You are right, of course," said Charity. "Let us begin our journey. I suggest we see the Sunflower Official first..."

~ End of Chapter One ~

yuck why do u writ such rubish?