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THIS IS SO CUTE AND SEXY. I hope you continue with this and that they fight off Cavan's partner so that she doesn't kill them. anyway int she overreacting a miet? i mean... preaching at them ok... but drawin a litesaber??!? bit mcuh.

anyway, continue plzplzplzplzkthnx

Oh, they are very Pretty. Cavan should use his Powers on that Rilwen to make her join in with them instead. She can't be in Real love, or she would not be so Cruel. Cavan should make her be in Love with him and Kelvin. Then he would not have to Fight her for his Elf.

wow Jaycacia is so kool. th only thig i do not like is u made Acacia evil and then dead, b/c i think she is not evil only misunderstood. But Jaycacia is really cool and i cant wait to hear all about their holiday and the statue and so on. Wut order doyou think the months go?

I know it's a bit silly, but I wanted to announce that I am officially a year older today. Does anyone want homemade cookies 'n cream icecream? *puts out bowls, spoons, and a generous tub of icecream on a nearby table*

Hi it's me again and as you can see I learned a few thigns like putting better spelling into things and some of my friends got me into slash a little while back so I thought i'd write something about a couple of hot Agents.

Summary: Kelvin is lonely because he wants to find his one True love but he has to hide his real preferrences but could one person from StarWars change all that?

Category: PPC

Rated: 15 maybe M for later chappies

Chapter one

One day in Hq there was this really hott Elf called Kelvin and he was really cute and everything because Elves always are with long black hair that was always soft and smooth and deep grey eyes with the light of the stars in them like elves have. He had lots of problems because he was so cute and all the girls in Hq wanted to get together with him andn be his one True love bcause elves are only supposed to marry once ever. But Kelvin could never find this true Love amongst the girls and this made him sad because he was so lonely but it wasn't his fault because he secretly liekd men but he couldn't ever say that because it would make the girls ssad and he was too nice to make them sad.

He was walkign down the corridor whent he nearly walked into somebody comeing the other way but he didn't of course because elves are too graceful to walk into somebody. “Oh I;m sorry,” he said, “I didn’t see you there”. “Are you all right”?

“Yes I;m fine thankyou”, said the other person and Kelvin looked at him for the first time properly. The person was not human because he had pink skin and purple hair and vivid purple eyes but he looked very handsome anyway.

“Hello who are you”? “I haven’t seen you around before” the Elf commented.

“My name is Cavan and I’m a Zeltron from Star Wars” was the reply. “Who are you”?

“My name is Kelvin Talathion and I used to be a minor Stu but I was saved by the PPc”.

Kelvin could feel an attraction to Cavan imediately because he was so handsome and he moved closer and looked around to make sure none fo the girls who followed him around were nearby because he didn’t want them to see how attracted he was to Cavn. And Cavan smiled at him and put one arm around his waist and said “Would you like to come back to my place”? becaus he was attracted to Kelvin as well. The Elf looked at him and he was a bit worried in case they were seen but Cavan just shrugged and said “Im a Zeltron and we make friends with everybody so dont’ worry about it”.

So Kelvin said “Okay” and he went back to Cavan’s rC with him and they went in and closed the door and began to kiss because they both felt so attracted to each other and kelvin knew he’d found his one true love but they were interrupted when the door crashed open.

Standing there in the doorway was Cavans partner Rilwen and she hated him because she knew he was really gay and she thought that was wrong because she didn't think men should be in love with each other but women were all right because it was prettier that way and she was in love with Kelvins partner Lyra.

“HOW DARE YOU DO THIS IN OUR RC”‼‼‼! She shouted at Cavan and drew her lightsaber to kill them both.

[[And ohgod this one's painful. I apologise to everyone who may get LxC flashbacks from my punctuation. This was originally planned as a badfic-alternative to this: http://lady-rilwen.livejournal.com/19028.html ]]

Rating: PG
Genre: Action/Adventure
Characters Involved: OCs, Kurama (Yu Yu Hakusho), Various Harry Potter Characters
Summary: Mystik n her partner Krep find a badnslash fic of Kurama being sprited into the HP world! How will the defeat the Slash-demn?

When the rc console rang, Mstik cursed and fell out f her bed. "com look t this Krp," she sad. "Snt this terrible??!"

"What, Kreep? asked, lookn up at the screenm, :Ohgod," he said once he saw what was writne there. "Not another Kurama takes Grry's place fic is it?"

"No, Mystik said. "Worse." She croled down the summary of thebadfic and pointed out a fe choice lies to her partners.

Kreep stared unbelievably at the screen, "No!" he cried burryn his face in his pillow. "WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?!! whata pervert. and not only kurama/bill but harlie/harry??" Like any PPC agent, Krep ha long ago mastred the art of pronouncing his punctuatin.

"I kno," sed Mysti calmingly to her partnrs. "But it loks like a quick in-and-out mission." She went to the consol and started typing in cordinates and disguises. "Well just collect some charges and bash'em on the head with anon." She didn't look up from hr tsk as she spok. "Wouljo get the canon, please, Krep? I will mak desguided for us."

"Ok," he said, grabbing the complte Yu Yu Hakusho abox set nd also Book Seevn of Harry Potter, which was called Harry Potter and the deathly hallows. He also took a baseball bat and his teddy bare. At Mystiks weirded out glane he said, "say wuyt you wil but you cannnever go rong with bluntobjects."

"And the bear?" Mystik sad?

"Faddrik is mai frend," Krepe anounced "Where I go, he goes."

"Well ok, said Mystkl. lets get on with it."

She punched in the coordinates with a drmatic pose wich caused Kreep to snigger and roll his yees. In a moment they were in prefic darkness.

"OH NO," KREEP SHOUTED. "YOU TOOK US TO THE UATHRS note."

"Sorry!" Mystik shouted, "i got distracted by Faddik!"

"Don't blame this on him!" he cried. But then the authors note started and they could not talk nymore--all they could do was cower wt ther ahdnsd over ther ears.

"SORRY ABOUT THE LONG DELAY," the auhtro xaid. "BUT THIS IS MY NEW FIC AND KURAMA WILL FINALLY FIND TRU LOVE, BUT NOT AFTR OBSTACLES, HAHAHHAA.

~Kurama: why you lways make thigs difficult for me?~

"BEcause I can AHAHAHAHHAHAHA. And because you are sexy when you hurt."

Mecifuly it was ofver aftre that. They landed in what seemed like Koenmas office, but dumbldone was ther for som strane reason. "Luk at the words, Kreep," said Mstik. "What it say?"

TO BE CONTINUED. I WANT AT LEAT 2 REVIEWS BEFORE I CONTINUE, OK?!!?!?

A/N: So here she is again -- JAYCACIA THORNBYRD!!! She's back at last in an ALL NEW AVDENTURE!!! Hope you ENJOY and please READ AND REVIEW!!!

Chapter 1 -- Break

Jaycacia Thornbyrd stood in the Committee Room and breathed deeply. "All right," she said. "I'm ready."

Do you truly understand what is asked of you? a mental voice said out of the darkness.

"I do," Jaycacia replied. "The survival of the entire PPC rests on my actions here and now - on my sacrifice."

There will be no going back, another voice told her. Once you do this, you will never be able to return to who you were.

"I know," Jaycacia affirmed. "But if I stop now, what life I have will be one of misery and suffering under a cruel master."

It will be incredibly painful, a third voice said gently, both during and after the transformation.

Jaycacia smiled grimly. "Death is more painful," she said. "Death is forever."

Then so be it, a fourth voice said, one she knew very well. Beloved, your sacrifice will be remembered.

"I know, husband mine," Jaycacia told the Sunflower Official. "Thank you."

Let us begin, a fifth voice said with grim finality. Please enter the circle...

*-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-*

One Day Earlier...

Jaycacia laughed as she hugged the SO around his stem. "Oh, my husband," she exclaimed, "you are the greatest!"

It's not much, the SO replied demurely. It's only your due as the greatest Assassin in the history of the PPC.

"Oh, now there must be more to it than that," Jaycacia retorted. "I've been the greatest for years. Why now?"

"Haven't you checked the date?" her mother, Jay, asked. Jaycacia frowned.

"Well, it must be... oh!" She blushed. "It's the first of Jaycaciamonth!" (A/N: I figured time is a mess in HQ, so they can't use normal months, right? So they named the months after their favourite people, like Jaycacia, Jay, the SO, Makes-Things, and I guess some others. Innit cool? *-*)

That it is, the SO confirmed. And as you know, Jaycaciamonth starts on the day you finally defeated the evil Acacia Byrd - he paused to spit on the ground - for good.

"So we thought you deserved a reward," Jay told her, grinning.

Jaycacia smiled wider. "My own statue..." she breathed.

To be unveiled in one week, the SO informed her. And that's not all. You also get a holiday.

"But I thought we never got holidays!" Jaycacia exclaimed. Jay grinned.

"Normal Agents don't. But we're assistants to the SO, my darling - he can make all the exceptions he wants."

And I think a week off will do us all good, the SO said. I've already set up a portal to a little place I know. A secluded woodland glade, a pool fed by warm springs, fruit trees on every side... and beds of earth softer than any feather mattresses.

Jaycacia smiled knowingly. "Just the three of us, then?"

Just the three of us.

"Then what are we waiting for?"

~

"Salve, Acacia."

Acacia Byrd jumped so high she nearly dropped the bowl of dates in her arms. "Jay?!" she exclaimed. "But..."

"Hi, Acy," Jay said, waving. "How was my Latin?"

"Absolutely appalling, to be honest," Acacia said. "But, what are you doing here?"

Jay shook her head disappointedly. "You haven't been paying attention to the calendar," she said, and held up a sheet of paper. "I thought you'd like to know that Miss Jaycacia Thornbyrd is up to her old tricks again."

Acacia winced. "'Like' is hardly the word I'd use," she said. "What's she doing this time?"

"Oh, statues, months named after her, erotic holidays with myself and the SO..." Jay shrugged. "The usual. You seem to have stayed dead, though."

"That's a relief," Acacia muttered. "So... oh, look, do you want to come inside? We can sit down with some dates or something and chat."

Jay grinned. "I thought you'd never ask."

(Hi all! Your friendly lurking lazy agent, Mystia Argent here. This here'll be my badfic writer.)

UN: MystikalLuvrrRr
Bio: Hi, everyone! I am the MystikalLuver (the more Rs the more love, hahahahha). I rite stores about the PPC and how the agents kill Sues or destroy badslash andte like. I goti nto te PPC vry very recently and fellin love!!! thyer so cool, protecting anon from badfic writers.


(having a new laptop actually helps with being a badfic writer, I keep mistyping! The key is just to not go back and fix it.)

shez riting a hartfelt story of TRUE LOVE. you will never undrstnd that!!!

so wut if she mipells a few things here and ther, dont we all????

wut kinda ijit woulda killed Makes-Things! Defintely mak ehim surrvive!!!!!

but wouldnt makes-things be marryed to his work rather than to a woman? mabey if they wurked together they culd stay marrid.....

wut do you think??

I guess the fact that we had to come up with the mini-Hitokiri means there's no RKUF already in existence, doesn't it?

A/N: Yes, I Know I have been long Away. Still, here is more of my Story. Again, no Flames!

/\/\/\/\/\/\/<br>
She had waited so Long. And then, she saw Him amid the blaekness of the Corridors.
he was so Handsome. This was her First thought, that his Radiance might better suit a god.
So tall and Pale with hair of the same Raven Hue as her own, and deep mysterios Eyes of Midnight black. Could he be like Her, she wondered?
"my Lady," his Voice was so deep and smooth. "I saw you there and saw the Sadness in your eyes and wonderd if I could lift it away from you. you are so Beautful, and the beautiful should never know such sorrow."
"My Lyfe has been sorrow, kind stranger." She looked at him with hope arisng. "But Maybe you could help me. What is your name."
"Gezeraxion Frostheart, Lord of the Shadows. all the world to me is Blood upon snow until I saw you. You melt the Frost in my heart fair lady. Tell me your name, I beg you."
"I am Ellerianniel Darkrose, Raven Lady of Sorrow. Or I was, but my Sorrow vanishes around you."
He kissed her, his arms aruond her, his Skin as smooth and Cold as her own. Yet they felt Heat, for it was only Mortals who Truly felt them as Cold, to each other they were perfect.
He swept her up and carried her to his RC, all painted in black with Blooodred bats painted within. And then they spent all Night together proving that they truly knew Love and that they need not fear Death at each other's Ivory Fangs. (A/N: Gezeraxion and Ellerianniel are too Noble to write Smut of this Scene. I aologise to any Readers who were expecting it.)
it took Days for any to seek them, before one who was Jealous that Gezeraxion had taken the Love of one so beautiful told the flowers, nd the Vampyres were told they must not see each other again in case they left the PPC to live in their Destiny elsewere.
Ellerianniel Wept, her Tears of Blood like Ruby crystals, and Gezeraxion plaeded that they not be parted, for they had gone so long without love. Then they said that if they were parted, they would walk into Sunlight, for Death was better than losing this Love.
The Flowers saw how true their love was and relented and they became partners, and for Eternity after, they were Great and famous Agents whose Love was a legend, and were never Lonely again.
And they did not Care that they never saw the Sun, because they were both so much Fairer than sunlight could ever be, so that alll admired them and the Pure strength of their everlatsing True Love.

The End.

/\/\/\/\/\/<br>A/N: And now it is Done and their story is told, and your Comments are Welcomed to greet the lovers in their story.

Sindarin isn't my forte, but "Elros" is translated variously as "Elf of the Spray" or "Star-foam" (Encyclopedia of Arda). To me, it looks like the -ros suffix is "foam" or "spray" (probably the same word), rather than "whisper".

Looking at the Quenya words (which is more my field), "spray" is rosse, while "whisper" is "lussa" or "lusse". I can see that becoming "rus" in Sindarin, but I'm not certain whether any vowel shifts occured...

hS, who still doesn't know Sindarin

You said taht you dont know how aljarinna saved Makes-Things but i don't remember taht happenning in the PPC so is this yor story or wat??

[[I might. It comes down to whether I have time for it, really. If not, I'll probably upgrade it between games to include them -- I did that with the menu buttons and popups this year; it's a lot easier when I'm not posting 'fics as well ;) ~hS]]

Your story, th eTRU storyof makes things RLIVES ON 4EVAAAA!, is the FIFTIETH story to be posted on Fanfic Land!

As a reward, we would love to present you with a shiny plaque -- it will be posted on your user profile FOREVER so EVERYONE knows how well you did!



~Fanfic Land Admin

Last year I told Kit I didn't want my agents being used in porn, but he could do anything else he wanted to them. I'm just not comfortable with seeing what is effectively a copy of myself engaging in detailed if intentionally poorly-written sex. Other than that, though, guys - go nuts with my girls. Just keep your paws off Snowspine's property, I'm not sure how happy she'd be with it.

Made an accidental exaggeration I did ... *hits voice box a few times* ... anyway, I'll put your wonderful gift in a sealed box with ten digit combination code so I don't accidentally cut both my hands and feet of again and have to spend five hours in A & E having them reattached agai... that was a hypothetical scenario I'm not so clumsy that I accidentally cut both my hands and feet off with a table knife in an embarrassing accident which was theoretically impossible before it happened ... *laughs unconvincingly in an attempt to make previous statement look like a joke* … anyway have this 256 leaf clover in a plastic pot as a thank you hopefully it'll bring lots of good luck.
Its not like it causes bad luck 50% of the time. That would be an extreme waste of a five billion pound military project if said project was to say cause a huge naval disaster in its field test, thus cause my penguin military leadership to make a young penguin solider a scapegoat to ensure that they and I don't get fired for extreme incompetence. That is a ludicrous piece of Giant Sapient crab propaganda, designed to remove the extremely competent penguin military leadership and I from power so as to make their invasion plans so much easier.
BTW if you wondering why I didn't give you a genetically modified super soldier Penguin which has been trained to kill Mary sues like I did when khajidu gave me the living male sailing ship Cuauhtemoc … well they've all chosen to go on strike because they want to paid in pounds instead of fish … so I can't give you one unfortunately as they throw fish at me when I try and talk to them.

... "This needs to be dead right now" spirit. Save it for your own agents, so they can do the dirty work.

Not all the badfic ever written is going to make it to the unclaimed list. I don't think that most mission even go into fic that has been on the unclaimed list. Like July said, most people find their own badfic

aw dat's so cte its luvly 2 see lilith get what she dserves! of course shs not a marysue! urso good @ writin!

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEREEEEEEEE!

But be careful, he's a sailing ship.

Name: Lilith Wydenbrooke
Bio: May Gobernon. I'm Lilith Wydenbrooke and I write fic for OFUM (and some other OFUs) and the DMSE&R at the PPC. I think I write really good stories! My BFF Lauriea says they're totally terrific and that I make everyone in character, and that my Original Characters are totally believable! I love writing fanfic, so please read and review!

((note to hS: I'm going to mock the Suethor-In-Denial. Namely, the one that uses decent grammar but is still a badfic writer. And the fanfic before this is rated K, the genre is Romance, the category OFUs, and the summary is "Lilith Wydenbrooke is the Cinderella of OFUM. This is her story, R&R please. No flames." Sorry about neglecting to include the info; I was too excited about the Game being up.))

YOUR STORY IS SO GOOD! I LOVE ITTTTTTT! :DDDDDDDDD

Masquerade of OFUM
Lilith Wydenbrooke would not exactly be the pride of the students at OFUM, but she was for the teachers. She did her assignments accordingly, never tried to sneak into the staff section, yet could be just as evil as Elrond if provoked.
She was an elf, not for attracting Legolas, but because the thought of being wise and immortal appealed to her.
She had long hair as dark as midnight and eyes that were silver and mithril at the same time.
It was a pity that she rarely showed her face, for 99.999999999999% of her spare time she would be reading. Therefore, many of the students dubbed her ‘mini-Hermione’.
The Yuletide ball was approaching swiftly, and soon tongues began to wag about the ball, and most importantly, what they were going to wear. Lilith blissfully avoided the chatter and arguments over materials and accessories, and who was taking whom. Sadly for her, if the other girls weren’t busy devising plans to ask their lust objects out, or arguing and chatting, they were mercilessly teasing her.
“Poor Lilith,” sneered Rosalie Berthilide Evangeline Eglantine Pottermalfoy Sparrowturner Hawkesbury, who was the most Mary-Sueish girl in OFUM, “it’s such a shame that you read. You look as if you didn’t know there was a Yuletide ball.”
“Mini-Hermione’s only fit to go with a book!” crowed Rosalie’s friend Legatine Greenwood, wrinkling her dainty nose.
Lilith paid them no heed, though deep down she was miserable.
The staff seemed to decide that a three day trip to Minas Tirith would give the students enough time to get a dress and accessories, or to get one done by a seamstress. All the students thought it was a break from studies. They strolled around the city like one would do at a mall.
Legolas, the much fangirled and stampeded Prince of Mirkwood, chanced to also be shopping at the same time. Excited girls followed him everywhere, hoping for a date. Their eyes seemed to gleam with anticipation when they noticed him buying a diamond ring at a shop and they wondered who it was for. They also saw him buy a beautiful green dress with matching green dancing slippers and excitement grew to its height. Then he headed into a pub and sat down, weary. The barmaid bustled over, and countless giggling girls found themselves squeezing into nearby booths.
Lilith came in, with a book as usual, but she wasn’t reading it. She dropped into the seat facing Legolas and then started.
“Were you expecting someone?” she asked him, eyeing the bags of purchases.
“No, not at all,” replied Legolas, waving a dismissive hand.
Lilith nodded. She carried the signs that she had been crying.
“Why do you weep?” asked Legolas after a while.
“Those other girls at the University. They tease me so,” Lilith didn’t know how it happened, but soon she found herself pouring out her heart to him. “They call me ‘mini-Hermione’, and I do know about the upcoming ball! Why do they think I do not? What is it of their concern why I read? Why can’t I be left alone? And then one of those empty-headed girls that lust you had to go and tell me that I ought to be dating a book.” She sniffled sadly.
Legolas was taken back. Lilith was always so calm, so collected, compared to this sad little creature, at least. Out of sympathy, he shyly patted her hand.
That night, Lilith went to bed with hope in her heart.
It was the night of the Yuletide Ball, and Nimloth, Lilith’s roommate, had gone to the room across from them to borrow a hairpiece. Lilith flopped down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling. She had decided the day before that she was not going to the Ball simply because she didn’t want to spend the evening in the company of giggling fangirls in pink. Also, she didn’t have a dress.
Nimloth came back in with the hairpiece and got herself dressed to the nines. Snickering something about “mini-Hermione would rather stay in and snog books, wouldn’t she”, the pesky fangirl left for the ball, evidently trying to catch Legolas’s eye.

Lilith sniggered at her roommate’s back. The staff had conveniently “forgotten” to tell the students that it was going to be a masquerade, so there wasn’t much of a chance to tell Legolas apart from the others.
“Lilith!” The girl’s head snapped around to see Legolas, dressed rather dashingly in blue, with his face concealed behind a mask. There was no mistaking his voice, though. “Are you not going to the ball?”
“No,” replied Lilith. “I don’t fancy spending my night surrounded by the likes of Rosalie Berthilide Evangeline Eglantine Pottermalfoy Sparrowturner Hawkesbury.”
Legolas grinned. “They wouldn’t recognize you if you have a mask on. We DID fail to tell them that it was to be a masked ball.”
Lilith sighed. “Maybe. But I don’t have anything to wear.”
“Done and done.” The Prince of Mirkwood disappeared, but not before some bags were sitting on the windowsill in his stead.
Lilith peeked into the bags and discovered the contents. Grinning to herself, she prepared to arrive at the Ball fashionably late.
“Nobody ever told us that the ball was MASKED!” screamed Rosalie Berthilide Evangeline Eglantine Pottermalfoy Sparrowturner Hawkesbury.
“Oh, how are we ever going to find Leggie in this mess?” gasped Legatine Greenwood.
Suddenly all heads turned and a sudden stillness fell over the room when Lilith made her entrance.
Her whole being gave off a pure, wholesome light. Behind the delicate apple-green mask with the embroidered flowers, mithril eyes sparkled with a previously unknown radiance.
Legolas saw her from the other side of the hall, and slowly walked towards her as if in a dream.
“May I have the pleasure of this dance?” he asked her quietly as he kissed her hand. Rosalie seethed. Lilith smiled.
“Certainly, dear masked Prince.”
The End!
Author's Notes:Please review! It's my first story and no, Lilith is not a Mary Sue! :D

YAY! MAKES THINGS LIVES! i luv this stry 5 stars!!!! :DDDD