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I give you...an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but author wraiths and spambots as well! Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride.

(Why did FFnet store those two series together? Surely it would make more sense to have them separate and mark crossovers as... well, crossovers...)

Anyway...

BADFIC ALERT TIME (YAY):
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5150409/1/UNKNOWN_SPECIES
Synopsis: "what if predators and humans came across a species never been seen or heard of before? would they be a fight to see whom would catch this creature first? please read on to find out."
(Also categorised under "Friendship/Fantasy", which is less than promising)

Amusing quotes:
"When the story gets going you will read the predators thoughs and the same with other characters."

"He was missiled out into earth’s atmosphere."

Has such fun features as random tense shifts, messed up verbs ('layed', the aforementioned 'missiled' etc), frequent ditching of the Capital Letter at the start of sentences (but no aversion to CAPSLOCK at times), ocassional misplacement of commas in plurals ("seem's") etc...

I'd take this one, but it's Predator-centric so far, and I'm more versed in Aliens. Stupid ffnet's categorisation system...

http://agenttrojie.livejournal.com/96224.html

In which Doctor McCoy molests Captain Kirk. For reasons we weren't quite able to figure out. Worst of the smut removed, as usual.

(Excuse me hijacking your thread, Cassie, but in the interests of the no-double-posting rule it seemed a good notion.)

Yes, I have a couple of Slash Agents who wanted something to do, so I gave them a mission. Here you go.

http://cassie5squared.livejournal.com/22341.html

In the best traditions of Bad Slash, the mission is NSFW. However, it is hopefully SFB. Enjoy.

I run their Adoptions Agency. I'll take care of them unless somebody wants to adopt one. Thanks for finding them, though :)

I'm betaing a fic for Cassie, and Elladan's name in the original fic has just appeared as Eln, bn. A mini perhaps, but it's a hell of a typo. In one of mine and Trojie's missions a while back (Ethul'waew, or something) there were a lot of similar typos. The author of that badfic actually came across our missions, and commented that the crazily mis-spelled names, and other words too, were a result of aff.net spazzing out. I'll believe her, as I've seen similar mangled words in many aff.net fics.

So, my question: would this mangling, as it's the fault of the website rather than the author, create minis? Only it doesn't seem quite in the spirit of things to my mind. Thoughts?

Actually, I think the plan is just to let it go away itself and then only come out at night for the next two months, but I shall bear that in mind should I be subjected to the perils of sunlight again.

Brown Willy came up last night, if you'll excuse the pun. A friend took me out for a congratulatory welcome-to-the-2:1-club pint, and we got onto the subject of dodgy place names. He's apparently got a book of loads of them, which I shall happily share when he finds it.

There's a Cock Alley in Derbyshire somewhere too.

HAR.

Cheap, but amusing!

Mini-Reapers:

Hartnell Era Minis:

Ian Minis:
Ani Chesterton
In Chesterton

Za Minis:

Zah

Vrestin Minis:

Vestrin
Verstin

Katarina Mini:

Karina

Celestial Toymaker Minis:

The Celestial Tomaker
The Celestial Titmaker

Troughton Era Minis:

Jules Benoît Mini:

Jules Beniôt

Medok Minis:

Mqedok
Medoc

Victoria Waterfield Minis:

Vitcoria Waterfield
Victoria Watterfield

Ramón Salamander Mini:

Ramen Salamander

Jon Pertwee Era Minis:

The Doctor (Pertwee) Mini:

The Docter

Liz Shaw Mini:

Liz Wash

The Master (Delgado) Minis:

The Mater
Professor Thasscalos

Tom Baker Era Minis:

Harry Sullivan Minis:

Harcourt Sullivan
Harrry Sullivan

Sutekh Mini:

Stekh

Li H'sen Chang Mini:

Li Sen Chang

Magnus Greel Mini:

Magnus Grill

K-9 Minis:

K-0
K-89

Foamasi Mini:

Fomasi

Davison Era Minis:

The Doctor (Davison) Minis:

The Doctro
The Doctoor

The Master (Ainley) Minis:

The Matser
Kallid
The Maaster

Tractator Mini:

Tracttaor

Colin Baker Era Minis:

The Rani Minis:

The Rai
The Rain

The Junkyard Valeyard Minis:

The Valleard
The Vlayard

McCoy Era Minis:

Kroagnon Mini:

Krognon

Dalek Mini:

Dlak

Bellboy Minis:

Belboy
Bellboyy

Ace Minis:

Ase McShane
Ace McShsne

McGann Era Minis:

Grace Holloway Minis:

Grac Holloway
Grace Holoway
Grace Halloway

Eccleston Era Minis:

Rose Tyler Minis:

Ruse Tyler
Rose Taylor
Rise Tyler

Bad Wolf Minis:

Bad Wold
Bed Wolf

Tennant Era Minis:

Rose Tyler Mini:

Ose Tyler

K-9 Mini:

KJ-9

John Lumic Minis:

Jonb Lumic
Jihn Lumic

Martha Jones Minis:

Martha Kones
Martah Jones

William Shakespeare Mini:

William Shakespear (Could also be a mini-Caliban)

The Master (Simm) Mini:

Harold Soxan

Miss Hartigan Mini:

Miss Hartogan

Have an improbably racist chainsaw! ♥

Welcome back!

Well, I remember all that stuff happening on the version I saw. So I'm guessing 'no' :P

Maybe the retcon doesn't work because all the Sues are half-Time Lord... Presumably their brain chemistry is different.

Now that I come to think of it, there was an actual episode where an old friend of Jack's popped up out of nowhere and knew all sorts of things about what was really going on. But Captain John Hart is just that *awesome* :) And I can't remember now if he actually knew about Torchwood or not.

Hmmm. Must rewatch stuff.

Have a dragon-sized random shiny that negates most standard fireproofing, and laser claw tips.

Also, Dragon fagirls are coming!

...but can I have Obivan?

I've found some Minis for you all. Claim them as you will. As far as I can remember none came from overtly trollish fics either (though the final Harry mini pushed it to the line).

Mini-Aragogs:

Hermione Granger Minis:

Hormone (if no-one else has this one already, can I keep her? Darth Raven the Mini-Rancor's getting lonely)

Harry Potter Minis:

Hary
A’rry (Fleur trying to say 'Harry'... apparently)
Hairy
Hry
Ptr
HARY POTTTERRRR! (that one actually occurring during narration)

Weasley Minis:

Geroge (George)
Ginerva (Ginevra)
Ginevra Raven (Ginevra Molly)
Wesley (Weasley)

Draco Malfoy Minis:

Drako
Mallfoy

Voldemort Minis:

Ridle
Tim
Marvelo

Snape Minis:

Snap

Sirius Minis:

Serious
Block (Black)

Cedric Minis:

Saidric

Fudge Minis:

Fugde

Zabini Blaise Minis:

Bliase

Filch Minis:

Flich

Marauder Minis:

The Maunders

Dean Thomas Minis:

Den

Fleur Minis:

Declour (Delacour)

Fawkes Minis:

Fawke (Fawkes)
Fox (Fawkes)

Shacklebolt Minis:

Shattlebolt

Order Minis:

Emmline (Emmeline)

McGonagall Minis:

MaGonagall

Gabrielle Minis:

Gabriella (Gabrielle)
Gabby (Gabrielle's 'nickname')

Rookwood Minis:

Rockwood (Isn't Rookwood a Death Eater, or is this just a mistaken identity on my part?)

Pomfrey Minis:

Promfrey
Promfey

Dumbledore Minis:

Dumbleodre

Justin Finch-Fletchly Minis:

Justin Finch-Fletchy

Orla Minis:

Orli

House Minis:

Griffyndoor (Gryffindor)
Grythidor (Gryffindor)
Huflepoof (Hufflepuff)
Slitheryng (Slitherin)
Ravingclaw (Ravenclaw)

Miscellaneous Minis:

Ema (should be Emma Watson)
Whatson (see above)
Raddclife (should be Daniel Radcliff)
Grit (should be Rupert Grint)
Klofes (should be Steven Kloves)
Muglel (Muggle)
Qudditch (Quidditch)
Azkabran (Azkaban (is it just me or does this sound like a breakfast cereal?))
Grimmwald (Grimmauld)
Florence Flenan’s (Florence Flortesque (I think. It's the ice cream guy in Diagon Alley))
Owl Emporia (Owl Emporium)
Walloping Willow (Whomping Willow)
SPEW (S.P.E.W.)
Hogsmede (Hogsmeade)
O’warts (Fleur trying to say 'Hogwarts'... apparently)
Saint Mangoes (Saint Mungo's)
Wizards Wizarding Wheezes (Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes)
Firewhiskey (fire whiskey (not just a missing space as that appeared constantly))
Burrerbeer (butterbeer)
St Ottery Catchpole (Ottery St Catchpole)
Gringotts (I can't find a copy of any book but OotP which the bank doesn't feature in, but I get the feeling this one's wrong (it's missing an apostrophe, right?))
Disapperation (disapparation)
Stupey (stupefy)
Chinese firebolt (Chinese Fireball dragon)
Flu powder (Floo powder)
Flue powder (Floo powder)
Floo power (Floo powder)
Vela (Veela)
Petrifaction (Petrification)
Patronous (Patronum)
Expecto Patronom (Expecto Patronum)
Rolling (guess)

Mini-Balrogs:

Meriadoc Minis:

Mary

Aragorn Minis:

Argaron

Eowyn Minis:

Eaowayn

Isildur Minis:

Isuldur

Celebrian Minis:

Kelebrian

Miscellaneous Minis:

Lemdas (should be lembas)

Mini-Rancors:

Obi-Wan Minis:

Obiwan
Obivan
Obiwas

Jedi Minis:

Jedi Tempel (repeated mistake and pointed out by readers)
Jeid
Padwan
Paderone

Yoda Minis:

Joda

Mace Windu Minis:

Mace Windy
Maze Window

Miscellaneous Minis:

Corusant (should be Coruscant)
Spreeder (should be speeder)

what about Wank or Brown Willy as town names? And then of course, there's Westward-Ho!, the prosititutes' town of choice.

Regardless, can I glomp you? You're back!

I do think that death's a bit too final, there are some exceptions such as Jackson were I can happily think "Well, good riddance." I think the same for any major criminal (e.g. rapist, murderer etc).

and the other carries your shopping in. :P

@ Sedri: There's a reason for that. :P I've actually been using this name for about ten years now. Also - I like the sound of the Transdimensional Pocket Knife, but what's a Capillary Towel? O.o

@ Ugolino: And while you're using your spell, I'll just turn you into a pile of ash. Isn't fire-breath wonderful? :P

@ Chliever: I'm just not used tot he idea that daemons can be good guys. I know them too well. Also, an alternative to mumps would be nice. :P

@ Tawaki: I'm not a big fan of Doctor Who, so I was thinking of going the traditional route and taking an RC. Also - um, thanks for the plover?

@kgarrett: I don't think I've ever seen a flax before. Shiny new toy. ^_^ Things that burn are always welcome.

@ Pit Viper of Doom: Interesting screen-name you have there. :P I don't actually mind Tirry - people have been calling me that for years elsewhere (not that any of them asked permission).

...testi_n^g>...I think I can get the hang of this. Thanks. ^_^

how top get bold and italics in html
On the left there is a further list of html tutorials. html is not that difficult. If you can properly punctuate a sentence (and I do believe you can) you can mannage html, or at least, putting (parts of) sentences in bold or italics.

Oh, and welcome.