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As soon as I can get into the school computer lab, which actually has it, I will begin creating a picture of the Dark Lord Geranium in all its spiky glory.

I tried showing her an MST of a non-porny badfic, and she called it immature and stomped off in a huff.
I did e-mail her a link to TOS, but she wouldn't read it.

There was a Geranium, but it wasn't a Dark Lord.
Dark Lord-iness makes all the difference.

It's more "anyone on the internet is a child molester". I tried saying "they've put up pictures of themselves!" and she said "how do you know those are pictures of them and not their sixteen-year-old nieces?"
Hee. Could I steal (ah, commandeer) that comment for future usage? It is rather cleansing, you're right.
...wow, there are a LOT of Beatles fans here...

No. More synagogueiness. But anyhoo, she's just going on about how horrid it is to make fun of people. (Even if they deserve it.) When I tried showing her an actual MST, she got huffy and called it immature. (Isn't that the point?)

I'll look it up.

Well, on the one hand, he's a decent shot who seems to know what to do with Sues.  On the other, he's currently working for a group of evil nihilists (the Burning Legion).

So...maybe.  The alternative is to send him begging to either the Horde or the Scryers.

THING THE FIRST! Join the club, honey, join the club. However, having paranoid parents is a good thing. Just put up with her griping, and explain to her that you're not giving away personal information or doing anything that'll encourage the child molesters to hunt you down. As for sporking being bad for the soul? Nah. It's actually just creative critiquing.

THING THE SECOND! I don't have one, but I'm sure someone does. Good luck getting your head 'round that 'fic.

THING THE THIRD! Nyahaha. Sauron flower. XD

Sorry, I had to do that.

On THING THE FIRST:

Having parents like yours (and now I have moved halfway around the world), distance is a great thing. Not using your home computer to do PPC related things helps alot.

If your parents make side comments about us, just ignor them. Besure to answer all comments about other topics, eventually they will drop it. Parents are like children that way.

If your parents fear for your soul (especially churchy parents), ask them `is ignorance bliss?` My brothers and I are having a long and very fustrating time reeducating our parents about the church. I am not anti-religion, I am just anti ignorance.

I could not belive it when my mother made the comment one time sayting that something is wrong just because the bible said so. To back this statement up: 1. The Jewish people only eat cosher, the reason: When these rules were laid out, many people were dieing of badly buchered and preserved food, especially meat. When the people found a way to do the things correctly (ie, not get sick) it found itself in the religius writing and teachings as a message from `God`. 2. Roman Catholocisim; no meat on Fridays, reason: In the (guessing at date, not reason) 1400s, the fish merchants went to the Pope to enlist his help in selling more fish. In return they would give a very generous `donation` to the church. So the Pope declaired that to honor Christ`s sacrifice, the people should not eat meat on Friday and eat fish instead (my family did this until the late 1990s). 3. The Bible was put together to help people to understand the world around them. When ever it says `God`s will`, was it really a will of some super natural power, or was just some science that they did not understand? The Bible was written well before the advent of modern science and people wanted answers.

The Bible is not always correct.

/rant

But my first sujestion should work, did on mine.

On THING THE SECOND:

Your agents may need neck braces for whiplash.

On THING THE THIRD:

Cool! Definatly already a Flower that Be, or maybe it is a Flower that is responsible for agents to go rogue? Hmmmmm... I can see the flowers starting their own councils and fellowship to depose of the Dark Lord Geranium. Crap, I now have a plot bunny clining to my leg, anyone want him?

Leto

On the FIRST: I don't think it is possible to explain the PPC to someone that thinks that fictionally killing fictional thirteen-year-olds (between the ages of 13-35, and a few that were older due to immortality) equates to real life child molestation. Is your mother the kind of person that believes that authors can only write about what they know? i.e. that if someone is killed in a novel that the author must have experience killing people? (rather than an overactive imagination?)

I do agree on the second matter, in a way. If I had a soul, I'm pretty sure that reading badfic would be bad for it. It is bad for the brain after all. MSTing is actually rather cleansing.

On the SECOND: I once thought about following a fic from an anti-gravity room due to its massive tense switching (within sentences even). I guess you should stock up on crash dummies, and have the agents follow the fic from the confindes of their TARDIS.

On the THIRD: great name for a flower. Now I wants one for my garden.

Thing the first: Simply explain to her that this is a good way to help young authors improve the flaws in their writing, and have all-around fun in the process. Put plenty of emphasis on the first point, however.

Thing the second: Er... I'm in agreement with the others on the motion sickness pills. If you must, open a bottle of bleeprin and drink yourself to oblivion when it's over.

Thing the third: Chances are, it's already a flower... just hasn't made itself known yet...

While I cannot help with thing the first (as I have insanely liberal parents and thus never learned how to deal with less liberal ones), might I suggest, if there's any possibility of her seeing exactly what we do here, that you do your best to keep her away from the Bad Slash missions? Because, despite our best efforts, they can be a little graphic, and may not help your case vis a vis "harmless fun".

A good way to explain the PPC is that we are an all ages group dedicated to finding humor through the critique of online fiction, which is done in the form of MSTs and sporking. We analyse the structuring, plot, grammar, and general accuracy of fanfiction in a creative way, comparing it against the original works in a way that can be explored with merit. Most of the PPC's active members are in their teens and early twenties- in fact, a great deal are under twenty, and many are under the age of eighteen, from what I can remember of the ages of active members.

Beyond that, here are some positive facts:


It's a nice hobby that improves your reading and writing skills. Reading is awesome. It's something most of us like. Reading is good. We support that massively.

For many members who participate in doing PPCs, sporkings, and MSTs, their skills in editing, writing, and the use of spelling and grammar increase. At least one PPCer I can think of has turned what they've found here into something to do as a career; there are also at least two more I can think of who are in the process of going through schooling who are also going into jobs, or considering jobs, that can be helped with a skillset that might have been buffed and polished through being members here.

And something something something fish.

The Dark Lord Geranium's probably already a Flower, just a matter of finding a suitable Department, heh. And yes, the battle armour is a must.

As for your first question, I can't really think of anything to suggest other than trying to convince her that it's really quite harmless. But she doesn't seem like she'll listen to reason. The second is also tricky, but some motion sickness pills would help. I doubt much damage other than the tense shifts throwing your Agents around like ragdolls would be done. Worse comes to worst, knick a DOGA CAD from DoSAT just before you go.

Setting aside the fact that your mother doesn't seem to be all that open-minded about explainations, I suggest you tell her the (edited) truth: We are tired of watching our beloved characters be written badly and are having a laugh about it in a way that harms absolutely no one. Failing that, do what Trojie said.

As for the third... definitely a neat flower. :)

I fear I cannot help you with the second thing, because it sounds technical and I'm afraid of technical stuff.

As for the rest...


"THING THE FIRST. One's mother, having been told of the PPC and its activities, believes firstly that the lot of you are child molesters and secondly that writing MSTs and other sporkings is bad for the soul. How to rectify this situation?"

...interesting question. It can't be dealt with easily: I feel that making her read C***b***n to show her the evils of badfic is NOT the way to go.
Personally I just don't face this problem, because my parents don't know (and don't care) about what I do online. Isn't there a way to spork badfics quietly, without trying to hide it but without talking about it either? It's not like it's a shameful or immoral thing to do.


"THING THE THIRD. While flipping through a gardening catalog, I came upon this. It is called the Dark Lord Geranium. Am I right in assuming that it should be made an honorary Flower That Is? With spiky black armor? Spiky...."

With a name like that, it's probably already one of the Flowers That Be.

THING THE FIRST: I find it helps to gloss over (read: lie blatantly) about the PPC by claiming that we're an online proofreading group of, y'know, harmless geeks who just like to help people out.

THING THE SECOND: Your Agents take a couple of motion-sickness pills and accept the inevitable, I think.

THING THE THIRD: Okay, that geranium's pretty awesome.

There's a great community called whatwasthatbook that exists for answering questions exactly like this.

...to help me with three things.
THING THE FIRST. One's mother, having been told of the PPC and its activities, believes firstly that the lot of you are child molesters and secondly that writing MSTs and other sporkings is bad for the soul. How to rectify this situation?
THING THE SECOND. How does one deal with a badfic in which the POV changes every few paragraphs, the tenses shift every sentence, and as for the first-, second-, and third-person views... ah, frag it all. Can someone lend me a DOGA mod CAD?
THING THE THIRD. While flipping through a gardening catalog, I came upon this.
It is called the Dark Lord Geranium. Am I right in assuming that it should be made an honorary Flower That Is? With spiky black armor? Spiky....

They're blood elves for this mission; it's a given.  (Along with the inevitable "Hey, that was fun!" and "Watch out, it's addictive" comments.)  Plus, it allows them to save the life of that poor generic who would otherwise get stepped on.

You should still suck out the Eredar's mana, though.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

*creepy voice, evil grin* I've been waiting...

I do hereby give you a lot of chocolate, a towel, a sharp and pointy object of your choice, and, since you mentioned it, a ferret. It can live in your RC, and you can probably train it to like eating Sues.

Glad you're here. This is going to be fun. =D