*bows* Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *holds out box marked "Warg fodder"* We don't tend to have much need for things like that here. Have some Suenicorn jerky! It's been put through detox, which negates the side effects. Usually.
And I agree with you- those are horrible fics.
-Mad Maudlin
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Salutations! by
on 2009-01-25 00:08:00 UTC
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Bad fic's by
on 2009-01-24 22:21:00 UTC
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Hi I'm new. This is the first time I've visited the board but I've been reading the missions for awhile.
I found a few fics while I was surfing fanfiction that I think need to be looked at.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4415773/1/TwilightMeetsWarriors
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4570186/1/WarriorsofStarclan
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3719923/1/IfTigerstarWrote_Warriors
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Not just here. by
on 2009-01-24 21:25:00 UTC
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If you get anything imported from the US, it'll effect you too~
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Pfft. Idiocy. That's why I'm glad to live in New Zealand. (nm) by
on 2009-01-24 21:04:00 UTC
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Ah, America. by
on 2009-01-24 19:55:00 UTC
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Doesn't our logic just kick butt?
Sarcasm aside, I am despairing. I won't even go into what the governor of my lovely state is doing. Let us just say it involves cutting funding to universities by 48%. And nuclear waste. But no! I'm not going into it! *smacks self*
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WTFF?!?!?!?! by
on 2009-01-24 18:04:00 UTC
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Found this over on scansdaily. You have to wonder about the intelligence of American bureaucrats sometimes. The entire thing is as posted, with no edits by myself. (I.e., I am not to blame for any spelling or grammar errors.)
--
CPSIA sounds like a supervillian plot. Unfortunately this law is all too real... How can one US law result in censorship, banning kids from libraries, bankrupt schools, cultural genocide, and taking away vital items from the disabled?
Oh yeah, and may result in many comic series being canceled of significantly increasing the price. And absolutely crushing many small presses. Censorship under another name.
Read on beyond the cut... prepare to be angry and disbelieving.
The Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act (CPSIA H.R. 4040) had a good goal: protect kids from dangerous imports tainted with lead. Bravo! Unfortunately it goes about doing so in such a way that it’ll drive up costs across the board, drive many manufacturers and retailers out of business, and not really make kids any safer. And will mean many kids comics cease production.
Oh yeah, and throw in bankrupting schools, forcing libraries to ban children, and taking away products from the disabled.
So what does CPSIA do? It mandates lead testing for ALL items intended for children under 13 or PERCEIVED as being for those under age 13. So items commonly regarded as “kids stuff” even if it is intended for adults, such as many comics, plushes, animation, collectible action figures, etc, still falls under the statute even though they’re aimed at adult collectors.
It requires UNIT testing. The final product must be tested from each batch. It doesn’t matter if all the components going into it are certified and have been tested as having no lead, it still must be tested for lead. This includes even things made entirely out of certified organic products!
Here’s an example. You publish comics for kids. You're a small publisher and print two different comics with all the same materials, on the same day, on the same press, with the same crew manning it. You must test Captain Awesome and the Miss Amazing separately because they may contain lead!
This basically seems to imply that somehow alchemy works. Non-lead containing item + non-lead containing item= LEAD! It also implies that somehow a different arrangement of the words and pictures inside will generate lead.
And let's not forget that CPSIA also covers things PERCEIVED as being for those 12 and under. Which covers virtually all the comics except the porn. Comics are considered kids stuff. There's 0% lead risk from reading comics.
The manufacturer needs to provide a testing certificate to the retailer, which must be available for inspection, should a Consumer Product Safety Administration inspector come in. No certificate, the retailer can’t sell it. (watch many recent back issues vanish from your comic shop come February)
Objects without a certification have to be tested. So those copies of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows that were printed in 2007 that are still available new at Amazon may have to be destroyed as of February 10th 2009 because they haven’t been tested for lead. (Amazon is taking this seriously and sent a mail to all affiliates asking them to provide the lead testing certificates for all items)
How bad can the punishment be? For selling books and comics? Up to $100,000 PER ITEM and up to five years in jail. It’s also a felony. Get busted, you may lose your right to vote in some states. Even if you can fight it in court, you’ll likely go broke doing so and your local newspaper will carry the headline “Local business selling lead tainted goods”… even though you know they aren’t. Good luck getting them to print the retraction months or years later after that PR disaster.
This includes not just selling, but distribution. So you can’t donate the untested goods to your local library, Good Will, or literacy program. You also can’t sell them to overseas collectors either, as they’re illegal to export. (preventing dumping of truly toxic goods on third world markets is one of the few good portions of this law. Good job on that, bad job on the rest)
The American Library Association is FURIOUS because this basically means as of February 10th, they can't lend children's books... or they'll have to ban kids from libraries. the press release from the American Library Association
Is our children learning?
The law also has an inherent flaw: it assumes that laws weren't strict enough. It's not the laws weren't strict enough, it's that the existing ones weren't enforced!
The original problem was lead in Chinese imports. China's lead standard is stricter the US. It was at the time of the problem. (it's 90 PPM US standard is now 600PPM) The Chinese just aren't enforcing it. Or they're outright forging the documents. Or finding ways to game the test. The entire melamine fiasco was due to them gaming a different test. cheating to get around the test produced the problem!
CPSIA requires additional third party testing and documentation. Easily forged documentation. And self-reporting. Criminals do not report their crimes to the police! Assuming they will do so is absolute IDIOCY!
The original problem will still be there, it'll just now be even harder to find due to the mountain of unneccessary paperwork! Testing items that have never had any problem with lead for lead is like looking for terrorists in Antarctica. Sure, it looks like you're being thorough, but its just wasting time and money that could be used actually dealing with the problem.
What to do? Write your Congressman. You can look up the mailing info for your Congressman and Senators through House.gov and Senate.gov Call them on the phone too! Some of them may have a staffer dedicated to handling inquiries or willing to tell you which of the many addresses will get the mail in your representatives hands fastest.
You can find more info on CPSIA on:
Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act
CPSIA FAQ
Ning site with centralized info
Washington Post Article on CPSIA
latest updates via Twitter
Native American tribes call CPSIA a form of forced assimilation and cultural genocide
<a href="http://wikis.ala.org/professionaltips/index.php/ConsumerProductSafetyImprovementAct(CPSIA)">American Library Association wiki on CPSIA
You can call the hotline and leave a message at: 202-225-4434
Books are probably the most outrageous part of this law but here's some other things it affects:
* textbooks
* musical instruments
* bicycles
* sports equipment- including the safety equipment!
* publications for the blind
* materials for special needs children. Wheelchair? NONE FOR YOU.
* science equipment
* winter coats
The testing for some items ranges into the thousands of dollars. For items for very niche markets, particularly special needs children, this may mean some products simply become totally unavailable due to the cost. Even if you have no children, the cost to US school systems will be astronomical... and it'll be a direct hit to your property taxes. If your school district or state government is already teetering on the edge of bankruptcy, this may be the shove that sends it over the edge. (Californians, I'm looking at you)
Com members that aren't US residents, write your consulate. This affects all IMPORTS as well, including stuff that's already been tested to within an inch of its life in the EU and Canada. And BOOKS printed there. Doesn't matter that it meets even stricter standards than in the US, it has to go through another round of tests.
Original post by fenrislorsai can be found <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/scansdaily/7068924.html">here.
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And to avoid double-posting: New mission up! by
on 2009-01-24 16:42:00 UTC
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Part One of the sporking of a fic called "Hand Maidens", in which Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Draco Malfoy are dragged into a weird alternate universe by a Princess Sue and turned into beautiful handmaidens. Yeah.
http://chelonianmobile.livejournal.com/66420.html
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Funny you should ask. by
on 2009-01-24 16:17:00 UTC
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Kgarrett, Sara and I are doing a group mission that involves a First Person POTC Sue. We couldn't find a method of killing the Sue that wouldn't damage the dummy, so we've opted for using a piece of PPC tech.
As far as we could establish, a DOGA CAD alters tense and POV for the Agents using it, and my Agents happened to lay hands on one just before their latest mission, so they'll be taking that into the group mission. Not saying that will work for everyone - cheating a bit, maybe - but it's just what we decided on.
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To an extent. by
on 2009-01-24 15:52:00 UTC
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But remember Jay and Acacia had to move some things back to their right places -- usually in crossovers, to be sure. In various spinoffs it's been established that particularly massive damage to canon doesn't snap back as easily, so needs containing and repairing by the PPC.
Besides, blowing up a planet just to deal with a 'Sue is so uncivilised. Lacks style.
hS
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Technically there's both. :P by
on 2009-01-24 15:49:00 UTC
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The DCPS (Department of Character Protective Services) assigns agents to individual canon characters. The DOOCH (Department of Out-of-Character Hobbits) deals with cases involving hobbits in general. It's run by the Authoritative Elanor (I think), wears green uniforms, and is tacitly ignored by the rest of HQ. The staff include the infamous Yellow Roses, which explains a lot. :P
hS
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*sigh* As usual, incredibly late... by
on 2009-01-24 13:26:00 UTC
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Happy birthday! I gift you with a sack of pebbles, your own sling and a basket of Bleeprin-berries!
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Here's the author's site and the Amazon entry. by
on 2009-01-24 10:51:00 UTC
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http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lies-Locke-Lamora-Gollancz-S-F/dp/0575079754/ref=sr11?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1232794094&sr=8-1
http://www.lockelamora.co.uk/
Nice complicated worldbuilding (though I admit I'd like to know why the Bondsmagi haven't seized more power than they have, what with being superpowerful and all ... ah well, suspension of disbelief), characters who are awesometastic without being too Stuish, lots of blood and gore and cussing. Fun all round.
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But questions are good. by
on 2009-01-24 10:01:00 UTC
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Not everything has to be revealed straight off, right? It means the answers can be revealed or discovered later.
hS
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Well, technical stuff I can help with... by
on 2009-01-24 05:56:00 UTC
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For the LJ-cut, if you're using Rich Text Editor, there'll be a little symbol with says "Lj-cut" when you hover over it; what you need to do is highlight the text that will be hidden and click it, and a pop-up box will appear asking you for cut text, which is what the link reads so people can click on it - in this case you'd put the title of the mission.
If you're using html (which I recommend, as LJ's rich text is EVIL), you need to put:
at the beginning of your hidden text, and end it with:
Remove the spaces in both cases, and change the caps text to the mission title.
Feel free to PM me on LJ if you still have trouble. :)
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Re: Humbly requesting Permission by
on 2009-01-24 03:09:00 UTC
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What sort of witch is Jane? And can we have more info on this spell? What 'verse is it?
Oliver's more modern, to his sister's distress, but he has to do the technology because she won't?
Permission granted, so alright, but I still have to smile and nod and have a few questions about your agents.
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Ooh, it's been a while... by
on 2009-01-24 02:53:00 UTC
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...but yes, must agree. Pure win. And "Red Seas Under Red Skies" is fantastic as well.
Hm...let me think... "East" by Edith Pattou is good, as well as the David Valentine series by an author whose name I can't remember off of the top of my head.
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Happy Birthday! by
on 2009-01-24 02:19:00 UTC
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Have a spork! Wield it well.
~Zoe~
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Re: Not a PG, just a friendly comment... by
on 2009-01-23 22:44:00 UTC
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The consul thing got me, sorry. And here I was thinking I'd paid such close attention. Ah well, mistakes are meant to be learning experiences.
Of course, you may friend me on livejournal. Technical savy I do not possess, sadly, and any help you can give me would be much appreciated. I won't tell you how long it took me to figure out how to transfer the document from my computer to the computer with internet access, because it's way too embarrassing.
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Just a couple technical points... by
on 2009-01-23 22:32:00 UTC
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A "consul" is an overseas diplomatic position which is often part of an embassy. The term "console" (the part of a pipe organ where the organist sits) is old enough that Jane would be familiar with it. I'd believe that she could mis-hear "you'll get your assignment from the console" as "...from the consul" the first time at least, but it shouldn't be a totally new term.
..or maybe I'm overanalyzing a typo.
Also, I'm pretty sure the Marquis de Sod needs the "the" at the front of his name - Marquis is a title, after all, rather than a first name.
Permission is granted, but I would suggest getting a beta who is at least somewhat familiar with the PPC.
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Anyone else read Scott Lynch's "The Lies of Locke Lamora"? by
on 2009-01-23 22:21:00 UTC
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Because I just finished it today and DEAR GOD IT'S AWESOME. Naturally there's not much fic for it, as always with stuff I like, but maybe that's a good thing. Anyone want to chat about the book? Please warn for spoilers if you've read the second book "Red Seas Under Red Skies", though, because I haven't. Must buy it ASAP.
Anyone else have a habit of finding undeservedly obscure books? I seem to keep finding stuff nobody in the circles I run in online has heard of. First Spellsinger, then Simon R Green's work, now this. Maybe we could make a big list of books we think other people should read, and we can go pick stuff off the list if we're bored or our parents are nagging us about what we want for our birthdays ...
And we could totally do a PPC version of the Gentlemen Bastards' "liar" drinking routine.
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Excellent. by
on 2009-01-23 22:09:00 UTC
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They might even be trainable. Supposedly everything with a spine is, though it seems to be debatable in the case of most cats I know.
I've gone over it myself for proofreading and such, but I really do need a second eye on this. Also I'm not entirely sure I've got Jade nailed down, he's a tricky blighter. >.> And it's only a few sentences but still...
Yeah. Sorry. ^^; If you don't mind...?
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Not a PG, just a friendly comment... by
on 2009-01-23 20:58:00 UTC
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I like the sound of Jane. :) All of them, actually, but Jane in particular. Very creative.
I'd like to point out a spelling error: It's "console", not "consul".
Also, if you're going to be posting regularly on livejournal, I suggest you start using LJ-cuts - it makes it easier. You can find how on the FAQ (and feel free to ask me if it's confusing). That said, may I friend you?
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Humbly requesting Permission by
on 2009-01-23 20:41:00 UTC
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After skulking about here for six and half months or so, occasionally talking with folks I have finally acquired enough nerve ask for Permission (I kidnapped someone and stole their nerve).
My agents:
Jane Shackleton
Age: early thirties
Appearance: impeccable, but not particularly attractive. Dark hair and eyes, pale skin. She has a normal sized body, but she wears a corset, so her waist is immpossibly small.
Jane is a product of an ill-defined story set, due to the author's scanty knowledge of history, somewhere between the Regency and Victorian Eras. She has an obsession with manners and propriety, a penchant for pretty looking guns and lethal fans (the kind used too cool oneself, not the rabid kind), as well as a horror of technology. She refuses to even touch the consul. Jane is also a somewhat competent witch and has a secret desire to be a Jane Austen heroine, though she is more inclined towards a woman like Miss Bingley.
Oliver Shackleton
Age: late twenties
Appearance: medium height, stocky with dark unruly hair. He has glasses and is blind as a bat without them.
Oliver entirely under the thumb of his elder sister. His argues with her constantly, but always acquiesces to her requests. He used to swear like a sailor, but, due to a spell of his sister's, can't swear any longer and has to use substitutes, which infuriates him greatly. Under the influence of fellow PPCers, Oliver has become more modern, in both language and behavior, much to his sister's distress. He is also hopeless with technology, but since his sister refuses to deal with it, he has to.
Moren Armstrong Crewe III
Age: eighteen
Appearance: pale, lanky and entirely nondescript, usefuly for blending into the background which he would do admirably if he weren't so clumsy.
Moren stumbled upon the PPC while being chased by bullies from his private school. He is timid and clumsy. Violence makes him sick and he is currently unaware of how the Department of Mary Sues disposes of said Sues. Apparently, Marquis de Sod did not think to inform him.
I presume sibling teams would be frowned upon at the PPC. Upstairs has enough insanity to deal with, without that. But Jane and Oliver come as a pair. You can't get one without the other.
My writing sample is here:
http://helenofpylos.livejournal.com/
And feedback is always appreciated.
Helen