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What would the Minis in a 40K fic be? Mini-Bloodthirsters come to mind for some reason.

A bottle of Amasec (it's a rather interesting alcoholic beverage, you can mix it with bleeprin and get Bleepasec), and a compact electronic book storage system with a crank generator. It is much easier to carry around than a bunch of books. All you have to do is download the books, open up the proper one, and then conduct a Canon Exorcism on the possessed characters.

First up, then:

The PPC Card Game

The Third Generation features a rewritten set of rules (designed to increase the role of chance, and decrease the amount of duplicate material), as well as two new types of card, and a new playable fandom: the PPC. It also includes (or, er, will include, at this moment -- I'll sort and upload it once I've written this) a Theme Deck, centered around (what else?) Crashing Down. This allows you to play as the Agents, the Mary-Sue Factory or the Black Cats in your attempt to take over HQ. It's great fun. ;) Not that anyone's ever played it.

Now, the request. The Fourth Generation is going to be an expansion pack rather than a rewrite, which means I need material. And that means I need your help. There are five types of card you can suggest:

-Agent: Always the most popular type of card. If you want your Agent or Agents added to the game, you need to give me a few details: The Agent's name, Department, the Fandom they work in most (yes, only one) and their species are straightforward. The years of their recruitment to the PPC or transfer to this Department, and of their retirement/death/whatever if it's happened, are less simple, but still do-able. You also need to give them a Lust Object from the fandom named above (and, as mentioned further down, it'd be really nice if you could give me the Canon card for that LO). Again, only one. And you need to list their favourite weapon. I will try to fit this into a broad category, so if you say "orc bow with poison-tipped arrows", be aware that a) you just ripped off Acacia, and b) it'll just be a bow.

Now the complicated bits. First up, I need need need a picture of your Agent. This can be a photograph (always good), or a drawing or doll-maker image if you absolutely must. But I need a picture. If there's no picture, there's no card. Simple as that.

Secondly, your Agent needs to have a Special Ability. You can look at the cards from the last three generations to get an idea, but in general these should be a single sentence which allows the Agent to do something he or she couldn't by the rules of the game. Most Abilities are boosts to stats. If there's a problem with your stated Ability, I'll tweak it.

Thirdly and most confusingly, the stats. There are six of these:

-Attack: Determines how strong the Agent's attack is.
-Defence: The same, for defence.
-Speed: Usually assigned by species, thus: 1 = troll, elephant, other lumbering creature. 2 = normal human speed. 3 = elf or similar. 4 = something with hooves, paws, or any other fast four-legged type. 5 = winged speed. However, there may be slight shifts, depending on the Agent in question.
-Stealth: Helps to ambush their enemies.
-Insanity: Higher insanity means that a 'Sue who messes with their Lust Object will be easier to kill. Lower insanity means it'll be harder.
-Special: Used to see whether you can use the special ability.

Your Agent's stats must add up to fifteen. No more, no less. Each stat must be a value of five or less (no negative numbers, in case you were wondering). They can be zero, except for Insanity, which needs to be positive due to the rules. And, remember: the goal here is to represent your Agent accurately, not to make the must unstoppable card you can.

I really hope the rest of these are shorter.

-Enemies: New to the Third Generation are Enemies of the PPC. So far, these only include the Black Cats and the Mary-Sue Factory crew. If you can think of any more (including others from either of those -- or maybe the League of MS Factories? I don't have them), please contribute them. The details I'll need are much the same as for the Agent (including, again, a picture), with these exceptions:

-Instead of Department and Fandom, you need to say what Faction they're with -- Black Cats, Factory, or something I haven't got yet.
-You don't need to give any years, or a Lust Object.
-Two of the Stats are different, specifically:
--Stealth is replaced by Observation. This is used to counter Stealth.
--Insanity is replaced by Reinforce. The higher this stat is, the greater chance the Enemy has of calling another Enemy to its side to assist.

Once again, the stats must add up to fifteen, and none can be greater than five.

-Mary-Sues: The traditional enemy of the PPC, and thus far one of only two types of badfic represented. As with Enemies, these are similar to the Agent, with some exceptions:

-No Department, Fandom or years. Instead, I need the 'Sue's age, and whether it is male or female.
-No Lust Object.
-No weapon. Instead, she has an artefact, which has to be one of:
--Pendant (restores health)
--Tiara (helps against humans)
--Jewel (helps at certain locations)
--Dagger (helps against anyone using a sword)
--Crown (allows her to seduce both male and female Canons)
--Ring (helps at certain locations)
--Necklace (helps at certain locations)
-Two of the stats are different, specifically:
--Stealth is replaced by Observation. This is used to counter Stealth.
--Insanity is replaced by Allure. This allows the 'Sue to seduce Canon characters, which increases the strength of her special ability.

-Location, Canon, Monster: If you place an Agent in a Fandom, they can't be used unless there are Locations for them to visit, Canon characters to encounter, and Monsters to defeat. So it'd be nice if you could provide a few.

--Locations require a picture of the location, along with its name, fandom, and what sort of location it is. In an indoor fandom, this may be different to an outdoor; while the former might distinguish "room" from "chamber", the latter might just relegate the whole thing to "building", or even "city".
--Canon characters need their name, gender, fandom, and species. And a picture.
--Monsters need a name, fandom and species, along with (yes) a picture, a location they would be found in (which means it'd be nice if you gave me the location card, too), and three stats. In this case, the stats can each go up to six, and are independant -- no limit on the total. The stats are Attack, Defence and Health, each fairly obvious; the only 6-6-6 monster so far is the Balrog.

I should point out that the five fandoms already in use are: LotR, Harry Potter, "Anime", "Sci-Fi" (yes, I've clumped genres together there) and, now, the PPC itself. LotR is pretty much saturated for Monsters and Locations, but the others are fairly wide open.

I'm happy to take as many cards as you want to offer. Don't feel you can only post one Agent -- give me everything you've got. :P And then, someday, I'll find someone to play this with me...

hS, continuing his mission to waste a lot of time.

... and Five was no Four, and Four wasn't a patch on Three (and had stupid hair, besides).

Okay, I wasn't around for the latter couple, but I do remember being rather put off by Mr. "New-Teeth-That's-Weird" back at the end of 2005. And look how that turned out.

Give him time. And a haircut.

hS

Welcome to the PPC. Have a Squickbrella. It's like an umberella, but it shields you from Squick.

The question:
What's the Star Wars universe's official designation?

The Stu:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4651314/9/Family_Bonds

Someone forgot to tell the author that the roles of annoying kid and wesley are filled quite well by the canons, thank you very much.

'Ello, tiny person! Have some flame-broiled Suenicorn and a coconut. I'm not exactly sure why; it is just a thing that I do.

that's a no?

Just for the sake of accuracy, I'd like to point out that the Cult either exists or is believed to exist by several Agents. That makes it canon, unless it's retconned out as a myth or something...

What exactly are you looking for? (shows off his newbie streak) Are we talking 'Oh God this is bad' deliberate badfic or particularly humourous spoof badfic? I mean, I could probably do either, but I thought I'd better check first before I started off with the wrong thing.

He has stupid emo hair.

I'll trust Moffat, because he knows what he's doing, but this kid's no Ten.

The DMSE&R are looking for some "volunteers" for their decreasing glitter levels lab. I didn't want to use actual badfic, because some Mary Sues are meant to be taken seriously and the author would probably object.

So I have two plans:
A) Ask Miss Cam if I can borrow the Badfic Challenge entries, or
B) Ask you guys to write some "badfic" for me. Mary Sues only, thank you.

What do you think?

Here, have a graduated cylinder! *tosses*

Have a Prinny suit. *goes into Copy and Paste Capt. Exposition mode* It increases stats (in an RPG sense), may or may not come with complimentary Prinny bombs and a pair of swords, and makes you say "-dood" at the end of every sentence. It makes people explode when thrown, but that's... usually... only a problem in NIS videogame canons and similar games. Basically, games where people can be tossed around anytime, by anyone. (It's amusing to see the biggest normal enemies being carried by the smallest creatable characters in Disgaea, where the suits are from. Testing on the Final Final Boss, Baal, has not been attempted yet.)

P.S. What does OUATIM stand for? Doesn't ring a bell, for some reason.

... is to just find a copy of the laws in question. Then you don't have to worry about the ifs and buts (unless you already have and it's obscure, which would just be a royal pain). I think you should be able to find such things online. ^^

In all honestly, though, I would find no reason to worry at all unless they actually manage to jail/punish him for it. If they accuse him and don't get anything out of it then they're not going to try it again.

I abhor it and anything associated with it. Even if I didn't, Huinesoron would smite me if I gave you the Permission. Try something else, please!

It was never meant to be more than a nusiance organization in the first place (as well as an explanation for the mentions of unemployment in the New Caledonia town when PPC Canon explicitly stated that the PPC is in a constant state of underemployment). The only way that I could write anything about it again is if I get Permission(which is impossible for the time being) and write at least one mission(also impossible). While my writing career is not ended, I don't think I can risk messing up any established Canon (PPC or otherwise) for the time being.

Have a box of hand grenades. They come in three varieties; tinsel, glitter and confetti. (although if you ask REALLY nicely I'll give you one that has all three)

Anyhow, welcome to the board person-who-has-probably-known-about-the-PPC-way-longer-than-me!

I think the verdict was that it had gone too far and was not to be taken any further, and I don't think it was ever really PPC canon (insofar as such a thing exists at all). My feeling is that mentioning it would have the flavor of a joke in poor taste, but then, I was never a fan, either.

~Neshomeh

I don't mind.

As well as a transdimensional pocket knife and an official DMS flag!

And links!

The PPC Wiki

...Well, one link, but if you search for "The Original Series" and "Permission" you'll get the ther Important Pages. :)

Welcome!

Not outright banned, but there was some fuss with permission regarding the person who created it - I forget who - and I thought the entire thing was abandoned. Though that may have been what prompted hS to make his clear definition of what PGs don't do.

No thoughts to help you ther, Ugolino. I never much liked the idea of that cult in the first place. Sorry.