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It doesn't. But you get used to it and eventually learn to contain the internal voice constantly screaming deep within you.

My cat also says happy birthday. At least, that's what I assume he was doing, since he kept jumping on my keyboard as I wrote this.

Anyhow, have a very happy day! Have a potted aloe plant and an Ant-Man action figure as virtual birthday presents!

I think I remember you as Anonymouse. Good to have you back! Have a potted aloe and a Spanish verb tense workbook as welcome back gifts!

(Also, I just want to say that it makes me happy to see people type out long, detailed rants about their favorite canons that show how much they know and love them. So your post made me very happy, even though I don't know Fallout.)

Have some cake! It's cake-flavored!

Yes, it is that time of the year again. Specifically, it's my eighteenth birthday!

I assume it gets more enjoyable when it stops feeling like someone turned pure terror into scalding hot liquid and jammed it into your tear ducts?

I think it depends on how far the bootleg tries to stray from the source material- with the rule of thumb I'm going to give being thus.

"Is this game trying to *become part of* the source material, or *copy* the source material?"

For instance, if a Pokemon bootleg were labeled "Slap Ball Monster Pocket Go" and tried to sell itself as a clone of a Pokemon game, I wouldn't think of that as trying to usurp the canon of the game- it's merely copying from it. That isn't going to harm the canon in any way.

However, if a Pokemon bootleg were labeled "Pokemon Pirepearl Alpha Rite", and at least made a passing attempt to place itself in the same world as Pokemon (say, having at least a few prominent canon Pokemon in the game) then yes, I would consider it a "fan"fic-esque entity trying to assert its influence on the canon- and *then* the original characters (say, fakemon) could be recruited. (Note that for Pokemon in particular, 3rd-gen bootleg games of this nature were usually hackroms put on a cart and sold without the consent of Nintendo OR the hack-maker. And hackroms typically are pretty much fanfics in video game format.)

I got all I needed from the description, yeah, that's just painful already. And when your core concept is painful... yeah, I don't want to know about everything else.

Also, you dropped an E from your "bizarr(e)ness" in the last line of your post.

Because I see no reason why the index.html and the actual story files for any new additions to LT can't have some autogenerated aspects. I mean, we can't entirely autogenerate all of them, but extracting stories from HTML files and putting them in the new format should be semi-viable, and automatically creating a skeleton index.html (just a list of stories) and maybe even next/previous links should reasonably simple. So I might do that.

~~Thoth has been working at a company that is almost actively hostile to scripting and automation and for crying out loud just wants things to make sense again.

...Although I do notice that both of the weapons I've gotten so far are Warhammer 40K weapons, which I find kinda silly. (No, 40K isn't one of my fandoms, I prefer my power armor to be descended from the t45-d, I just find it kinda silly that it matched up like that.)

I pour forth the holy libations to celebrate your return, and give unto you a half-kilo of lembas and a laspistol!

A book called 'Arms From the Sea". The summary (on the book's website - which is a trip in and of itself that I shall not link here) goes: "Lyle is a young man who hates his life in the State of Salt, a cultural and literal desert. He vandalizes a State icon, then swallows a poison pill that transports him not to death, but to a liminal realm—blue, aquatic, and wholly alien.

He’s rescued and shepherded by henchmen of the Polyp, god of the watery realm they call “heaven.” A series of encounters unfolds between Lyle and the monstrous, seductive god, who gradually reveals his grandeur and mysterious purpose.

Lyle is horrified at first but soon finds himself falling for the Polyp, and the potent and bizarre creative potential he represents . . ."

A friend of mine over on the Young Wizards Slack, due to already having the book for free (since apparently the author was passing it out on college campuses?), went ahead and did a liveblog, which I've transcribed (with permission) in two parts.

Not Work Safe, Not Brain Safe. Quotes are at a minimum, but the bizarrness persists... Biggest CW tags I can think of are body horror, possession, and dystopias.

Anamia's Corner has been rendered into code that doesn't offend every sensibility I have! And it wasn't even as hard as I thought it would be! {= D

That's not to say there's nothing left that needs doing—again, with something this big, there are bound to be things we've missed—but that's down to the level of minor errors, inconsistencies, and things that just personally bug me. For practical purposes, the task is done. I might even see my way toward adding content again, since it will be so much easier now.

But not right away. Baron Hieronymus needs to pick out his new accommodations first. ^_^

~Neshomeh

New Tales of Hieronymus

Previously in this series: The Stubborn Knight (revised version).

The Archivist’s New Apprentices

Out of nowhere – or probably: elsewhere – Hieronymus the hermit, part-time knight and archivist’s apprentice, appeared in the courtyard of Castle Archive. He stayed there for a minute, marveling in the beauty of the place. Then he turned to the portal that led to a hallway, a flight of stairs and – beyond the stair, on the second floor – the corner where he used to store his staff and flask while he was at home. But he was stopped in his track, finding the portal locked and a message attached to the heavy wood:

Stairs and corners out of service due to renovation and refurnishing.
Please join us at Los Taelis.
We have a chamber prepared for you.

For once, the Kar'eer Forest stayed out of the way and Hieronymus did not get lost again; he crossed the Turaipod Heights rather smoothly and arrived at the fonts of the Kattekri-tri in no time. Fort Los Taelis had been established through contributions from many knights of olden times, conglomerated in ways that did not help to make navigating the place easy. Headquarters appeared to be the obvious starting point, but Hieronymus had no idea how to proceed from there to find Baron Neshomeh or any hints at his new chamber. He did not need to worry; help was on the way.

Out of nowhere – or probably, Genie space – the shape of a glowing red-gold fox appeared. "Welcome back, Sir Hieronymus," the Djenni said, with the echo of a distant whisper that implied speaking for the Lady. "We are currently rebuilding Los Taelis in a more consistent manner. The new magical signposts at Headquarters, based on a design proposed by Master Huinesoron, will help you find your way around."

The hermit had already wondered why Los Taelis looked so different from what he remembered from his previous visits. It was still mostly made of brick-sized books, with an occasional scroll used as a sill or lintel, but gables and thresholds appeared to be more ornamented in ways that made the buildings, despite their different functions, look more similar. And the whole thing looked unfinished, and somewhat alive, with bricks moving around, scrolls unrolling and rerolling themselves, and ornaments appearing in unlikely places, only to suddenly dash off to where they actually belonged.

While looking around, Hieronymus noticed a desk set amidst the central yard, covered in construction plans, sketches and scribbles. A nondescript figure sat on a stool at said desk, shrouded in magic.

"Did you meet Sir Thoth?" asked the Djenni, the echo gone from her voice. "He is in charge of everything that can be done automagical."

Sir Thoth hunched forward, his fingers moving rapidly over diagrams and formulae, and another series of ornamented bricks were hurled about, some right through the flinching hermit’s chest.

"Don’t worry," the Djenni said, baring her teeth in what probably was meant to be a smile. "Weaving his magic, Protector Tomash set up a multitude of parallel realities, so that you won’t get into each other’s way. In the end, all your achievements will be combined and moved to the true Los Taelis."

Hieronymus was so used to weird stuff happening to him, he did not even bother to check for any holes in his body or his robes. But something else worried him. "Protector Tomash? Sir Thoth? All the advanced magic and automation? Are you going to replace me?”

"Did you not hear us say ‘you’?" The whispering echo returned to the Djenni’s voice as she spoke. "There is still a lot of tedious manual work to do for our oldest apprentice."

---

DISCLAIMER: The Djenni belongs to Neshomeh and is used here based on non-objection. Baron Neshomeh, Baron Huinesoron the historian (and, in the context of this tale, a master archivist like Neshomeh), Protector Tomash, Sir Thoth and Hieronymus the hermit belong to the respective boarders they represent.

A/N: If Los Taelis had existed at the time, Hieronymus the hermit would have asked for a corner there rather than in Castle Arkive, so it was time to move. But since a Corner (Anamia’s) already exists at Los Taelis, he may deserve an accommodation upgrade.

---

Next in this series: The Baron on the Rock, Part 1, Part 2, which is actually Part 3 of these New Tales.

HG

Yeah, I know. I do own them- I originally got my hands on the Fallout games via the Anthology pack. (Yes, the Mini-Nuke case is sitting on my dresser. ...In pieces, because one of my little siblings got ahold of it and threw it around. sigh...)

I'll eventually get around to giving them a shot, don't worry.

If you ever get over the UI, you may want to give the Interplay Fallout games a shot. They're by the same people.

It's been a while indeed! Have a plate of welcome-back SPaGhetti. :)

As for fandoms... I gave my fandoms at the end of the post, after the rant about charges, but I'll go ahead and restate them. (And also add a few I left out.)

Pokemon, My Little Pony, Fallout, Dungeons and Dragons, Harry Potter, and Terraria, among other things. (This time, sorted by magnitude of fan-ness, if that's a term.) Going to throw in Eternal Card Game and Magic: the Gathering, too, although I'm not as well-versed in the latter.

Also, I prefer the Bethesda-era Fallouts, but purely because of the fact that I can't wrap my head very well around the Interplay games' interfaces. (Especially the inventory screen, sweet Mew.) New Vegas is my favorite of the bunch, although admittedly I haven't gotten a chance to actually *play* Fallout 4 and won't be able to play 76 for a while, due to not having a strong enough PC and not owning any consoles.

That doesn't excuse Agent Sylvia from not doing her job properly, though. ;) I've just checked with Legal, and their response was 'an ignorant author is no excuse under the law'.

At least I think that's what they said. It was in Ironic Latin, so it's hard to be sure.

hS

Take a bolter and a mug of Klah. It's the only drink I offer that's relatively harmless.

And it's nice to meet you! We could always do with some more RPers. What're your fandoms? (other than fallout?)

Also, since you are a Fallout fan... Bethesda Fallout or Interplay Fallout?

Joshua Graham is from some of the DLC for Fallout New Vegas. It is entirely possible that ShatteredSanity had never played the DLC and had never run into this guy. I know I'd never come across him before.

So, yeah, none of this stuff appears in the base game and could easily be overlooked.

-Phobos

I can appreciate it, mind, since I'm an Archive Binger myself. |D

Good point on the bulletproof vest, yeah. And as for the Deathclaw skin holster... one, yeah, even in FNV you can actually craft Gecko-skin-backed leather armor, where Geckoes in the Fallout continuum are indeed another type of dangerous animal. (Kinda cute, but dangerous enough to kill a man if they're not well-equipped enough, with how dangerous depending on the type.)

Two... yeah, no, Joshua Graham doesn't have a Deathclaw skin holster for his gun. ...Partially because, like most to all characters in Bethesda-era Fallout games, he straight-up doesn't use a holster for his gun, it's simply "magnetized" to his hip. Closest he has is a few black pistol-magazine pouches on his belt, and even then, it's definitely not Deathclaw skin. (I'm not sure if it's black leather or simply black woven cloth.) Still, I think the "murdering Joshua Graham and nicking his stuff" charge would indeed have been appropriate.

First off: hi, welcome back again; I remember both your previous names. ^^

Right, those charges. The second one is actually addressed by the mission, which says this:

“ Where did he get one of those?” Sylvia asked, shocked. [...] will you please write down that charge. Bullet proof vests aren’t all that common in the Wasteland.”

So the charge is really 'having a rare bit of kit without justification'. You can certainly argue that it's an inaccurate description, but it looks like the mission comes from the period when people felt they needed to list every single charge at the end, which means there was pressure to make them short and snappy.

As for the main charge you object to... yep, it looks like the agents were just plain wrong there. ^^ It happens. Heck, Jay and Acacia once came very close to charging for not having Legolas leave Middle-earth right after the War of the Ring. Coming back to Sylvia and Natasha, they immediately after the discussion of the gun (which presumably has a snakeskin grip, rather than a complete snakeskin handle, which would be... floppy) act bewildered why anyone would use the skin of a dangerous animal to make a holster. Given the existence of crocodile-skin everything, that's a really weird objection to have.

It looks like Sylvia is from the Fallout continuum, so you can probably chalk it up to her making assumptions based on her knowledge of her world, rather than actually checking up on it.

I find it interesting that both 'special' items come from the same character (he doesn't happen to have a Deathclaw skin holster, does he?). If I was doing this mission and knew enough about Fallout, I would probably summarise them all into a single charge: murdering Joshua Graham and nicking his stuff. ^_~

hS