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Think you'll do a sequel once the mailbox game concludes?

Yes, friends, rivals, potential customers, we are back! Thanks to the work of our tireless reporters, The Multiverse Monitor is releasing a special midweek abbreviated edition, to bring you the latest news we have obtained from agents. Made with love, care, and excessive quantities of caffeine in as little time as we could possibly spend on it, this special issue is guaranteed to excite.

Pick it up at your local newsstand, or here.

~~

So yeah, with all the MM reporters flying around the Mailbox Game, I figured I'd find a way to abuse the quotes that ensued, in true MM style. Echoing real-world tabloid tradition, this was written over the course of 24 hours and edited relatively minimally. Yes, we checked for SPaG, but we weren't the most comprehensive.

Thanks to Calliope and Iximaz for giving me permission to horrifically defame their agents, to Geema for giving me horrible ideas, to Nesh for helping to ensure my SPaG was up to scratch and allowing me to defame her agents as well, and to all of the above, Tomash, and probably others for being the MM reporters without which this would not exist.

I look forward to hearing what people think.

As wonderful as the view was, there was only one place he wanted to be, and that was the one that he’d been foolish enough to leave.

I love this sentence in particular - just want to say that.

And that doorslam at the end was funny. ^^

So, uh, what happened to your arm?

"I thought you were allying with a secret department called the DIO to replace the Flowers with clones and wipe everyone's memory! What's this about demonic badgers?"

Is it true than you have been smuggling Jack Harkness inside HQ for dates and cosplaying around?

So, I heard from someone that they'd read in the Multiverse Monitor that you were in a threesome with Ilraen and Farilan, but they didn't manage to get the details. So, how was it? Did you have a good time?

How are the fire-lizards doing? Zeke's been a great help for me around the lab; I built him a little bed on my desk and he naps there when he's not fetching me tools.

"I heard about the panty incident, but that wasn't me. Enchanting's not my style. The horde of minis wasn't my fault either. I just happened to be nearby for... various reasons. And earthquakes aren't my specialty. And before you ask, I definitely didn't pay anyone to do it either. Nobody had any evidence of that."

Is it true you once enchanted Luxury's invisible wool panties to fly around the SO's office for three days? What about the time you got a horde of minis to stampede through the halls of Bad Slash? Did you really cause that massive earthquake in the Canon Library 'just to see what would happen'?

"The fact that you think I want to murder the Flowers and the agents who support them, or the fact that you think I'd be so sloppy about it that you'd be able to find out before the coup went down. I mean really."

"No, DAVD is not planning on taking over the PPC by assassinating the Flowers with an army of demonic badgers and replacing them with clones. I don't know where this rumor keeps coming from."

Given that I'm pretty sure I counted out over 100 characters in my collection a couple of years back, you'll have to forgive me not providing a complete list. :)

... wait, no, actually I can. Though it may not be complete any more; most of DAS aren't listed.

hS

Yeah, I figured it'd happen sooner or later. Talia got a double too. Just... fantastic.

I got this name from my IRC handle. Just stuck, for some reason. Sure, it's stupid, but every other nickname I got was worse.

((This is more or less how I got Thoth as a nick.

...It occurs to me that Dagger's name may have been unconsciously inspired by someone's username on another website. That person is nothing like him.))

When did you become an engineer? Why didn't you tell me?! We could have transferred together! No, better idea - we could have gotten the El to include engineering in our responsibilities!

Are you still going to be helping out with the Sprouts? I need my Blossom, and the kiddies will be so upset if you leave! Especially now that you're... male?

And a dragon... something?

Wait.

Wait wait wait.

DAG-GER! C'MERE! YOU'VE GOT A NAME TWIN!

Tiger waited until he had reached the very top of the roof before he looked down. The view was certainly spectacular and the weather was lovely: a bright blue cloudless sky and a cool breeze blowing gently across the rooftop.

Last week this would have been the last place he’d expected to be, but things had changed an awful lot. As wonderful as the view was, there was only one place he wanted to be, and that was the one that he’d been foolish enough to leave.

There was no way he could go back now, not now he’d completely ruined everything. At least she was still alive: that was the one good thing.

He was on the rooftop because of the Division One initiation – each of them had to do a dare. Most of the time it was quite easy, but his had been particularly hard, mainly because his sister had been the one setting it.

She had been able to justify herself by saying most of the people joining were younger and less experienced than him and he needed to do something harder. But he knew that wasn’t the real reason.

He had been made to climb all the way to the top, despite his protests that he was scared of heights. He felt a little vertigo now as he looked down, but there were a good few metres between him and the drop.

Not far below him, what he had thought was just another bit of roof swung up and his sister’s head poked out of the gap.

“How did you get up there?” he asked, annoyed.

“Stairs,” Holly said, glaring at him.

“Oh, of course! Can I come down that way?”

“No.” And with that, Holly ducked back in and slammed the hatch shut.

Sighing, Tiger began the long climb down again.



Note: This is from the same universe as my last prompt.

Of which I have... far, far too many to list here. Any of my characters are available for mailing - if they live outside HQ, we'll send a fire lizard, and if they live in the future, hey, same thing!

hS

But really, though, this was great. I could visualize things smoothly as I read along, which is always a good sign. ^^

Ninetwo: Frankly, ummm, this strikes me as deeply offensive - not just to our employers, who have spent much time, and effort, and, um, time, into creating as ideal of a work environment as they can, but to us employees - us, who place our trust, our hopes and dreams on the backs of our great leaders in the Janitorial Division management! To denigrate them would be to, by extension, denigrate us, and I refuse to do that!

Finch: 'It-s a justice we really bloody ought to have and, because of that fact, we never will ever have it. All these gits are whinging about "not being fired" and "job security" and "milking any form of miniscule payment out to survive to next week". You think you-ve it rough? Every day, all day, I-m out here dying, but that never strikes them, does it?!

Bingle: 'Oh, well, I suppose it could be a fun day out, couldn't it?'

Anne: 'We tried that once in the early days. I don't think there's many people left in JD who'll remember it. Everybody went on strike. It dissolved pretty fast when we realised we all lived in here, and that all the falling infrastructure and angry goops and gases would be going after us, too. I don't think I care so much about my own rights, anyway.'

Anne's Cat (written by Anne): 'My cat scratched out the word "union" and then ate the whole letter. Now she's spitting up shards of it into the rubbish bin. She hates all kinds of rights, especially human ones. I think she would be inherently against this.'

“Why the hell did he choose the third floor?” Creed complained. “It's an abandoned office building, surrounded by nothing but fragging abandoned office buildings. Couldn't he hold the meeting on the ground floor?”
Blades ignored the stocky rigger. The stairs didn't particularly bother him anyway.
“Maybe you should ask Schmidt for compensation,” Scathach suggested with a grin.
“For the record, that was sarcasm. If you actually try that, I'll personally kick you out the window,” Dragonfly said, and glared at them. “Anyway, we're here now, so if all of you could act professionally, please?”
She opened the door. Inside, Herr Schmidt was already waiting.
“You're late,” the Johnson said, looking at his watch. “I hope you at least have the package.”
“Took us more than enough to get it,” Dragonfly grumbled, but handed the device over to him. “I prefer to know beforehand if a run is going to land us in a Zero Zone.”
“You'll get your reward soon enough,” Schmidt said, taking a closer look.

Then everything happened at once. The Johnson blinked, and turned his back to the large window that took up one of the walls. A fraction of a second later the window exploded into a hail of shards. Schmidt straightened back up, decked Dragonfly in the face, and lunged out of the window.
Blades started moving before Dragonfly finished shouting “Get him!” from where she was lying on the floor. The Johnson had jumped six metres across an alley, and through a missing window into a neighbouring office building.
Blades grinned. The magic was flowing through his veins, strengthening his limbs, carrying his body. He drew his sword from its sheath as he started running. Six metres was almost nothing to him. He pushed himself off from the edge, sailed through the air... and realized with a start that his trajectory was off. He just had time to spit out a curse before crashing into the plastcrete half a metre to the left of his target.
His fingers grasped uselessly after some kind of ledge or windowsill as gravity made itself known and he started falling towards the pavement. The impact knocked the breath from his lungs and bruised his ribs. He silently thanked both his armour and his magic for lessening the impact and preventing serious injuries. He rolled onto his knees while gasping for breath. Despite his helmet the impact had made him dizzy, but he focused on his sword, which was lying a few metres away from him. Finally managing to draw a breath, he pushed himself to his feet, grabbed his sword and made his way to the door of the building he'd intended to jump into. He drew another deep breath, opened the door and started running up stairs as fast as he could.

In the end, it had turned out he needn't have hurried. They had found the Johnson cornered by one of Creed's drones and had managed to get a good amount of money out of him.
Scathach alternated between rewatching a video of Blade's chase attempt and looking at him as Creed took a look at his bruises.
“You know, I think I've got a good name for you,” she said. “The way you flew through the air like nothing could ever happen to you right before crashing gloriously gave me an idea.”
“You're still going on about the name thing? Can't you give me some rest?” He asked.
“For the last time, calling yourself 'Blades' makes you sound like an edgy 14-year-old. You need a proper nickname.”
Blades sighed, “What are you thinking about?”
“Icarus.”

What're some of the strangest things about/in HQ, technologically or culturally, compared to where you lived before?

... Thoth returning to his RC to find Tom snoring in some awkward position under a blanket and Gall still sitting on the floor playing games in the debris of empty bottles and snack wrappers. "Oh, hey, Jötun." Picture of innocence.

Yes, will play video games sometimes, but gaming isn't in my soul. Especially not games where coordination and speed are serious factors. ... Unless it's Guitar Hero. I like that. Never past medium difficulty, though. I only got four fingers, I only wanna deal with four buttons. {= P