“Now this is ridiculous,” Thanasius Ampelius said, looking at his two compatriots (plus Kagemusha) and slapping the scroll on the table so it unrolled. “Barons, Knight, and civilians of Plort, yada yada, old people no longer being here, boring council stuff… ah, here it is. Fourthly, it gives me great pleasure to announce the creation of four new baronies. The Baronial Council has discussed the candidates extensively, and surveyed the feelings of the populace, and we are pleased to confer the rights, privileges, and duties of a Baron of Plort upon,” he paused and took a breath. Death Dendle chuckled under his breath. “Lady Iximaz — have we heard of her? Lady Kaitlyn — more of Eagleshadow’s politicking… Sir PC — makes sense, he’s one of the greatest men of our age… and one Thanasius Ampelius, the Warrior Monk.”
Thanasius got up, shot the scroll a disbelieving look, and started to pace around.
“Don’t tell me ambition did not stir in you when you heard that,” the body double offered from his dark corner. “I know for a fact you were busy acquiring new weapons recently.”
“Well yes!” Thanasius stopped in one place for a moment. “That crossbow needed repairing! Even though we found it in that despicable Marizu’s camp, it could still be used for good! And did you actually expect me to turn down a gift from Agog? That’s my home, you know!”
“Besides, if owning weapons correlated to political ambitions, I’d probably be spending more time in the cities,” noted Karrin the Blue, tapping her fingers against her swords.
“In your case, I’d check whether there’s a magpie in your family tree,” Death Dendle retorted. “You gather swords the same way Thanasius here gathers books or a magpie gathers shiny baubles.”
“Well, perhaps I’ll change my crest’s hummingbird to one, then,” Karrin replied drily. “In any case, we’ve gotten somewhat off topic.”
“True,” agreed Thanasius, who continued his pacing. “Now I’m supposed to claim a piece of land, no? And assume responsibilities… and sit in the thrice-accursed council! Look at that letter! Even July of Castle Flayme approves! I thought she didn’t think of me very highly after that argument!”
“Perhaps this is her revenge, then?” suggested Karrin.
“She didn't strike me as the underhanded type,” Death Dendle said. “In fact, quite the opposite: she’s blunt. I mean, she set sail to lands unknown some time after he left for Ydyff.” He nodded toward his master.
Karrin blinked. “I was joking. Did — did I not make that clear?”
“Apparently not,” Thanasius gave his body double a withering look. “Anyway… no, this is probably Baron Huinesoron’s doing. It’s not written in that” — he pointed at the scroll, which rolled up again — “but the rest of the missive said that his wife doesn’t actually have any voting power… just, y’know, territory. And guess where? El-Jheycom.”
Karrin raised an eyebrow. “Than, you do remember that I have as little knowledge of the politics of this land as a desert rabbit does of sailing, don’t you?”
“It’s simple, really. That was her old land… they declared independence, if I remember what I read correctly, but were absorbed back into Borrd after a while,” Thanasius said. “Anyway, my point is this: he probably wanted to throw suspicion off that move. What’s bothering me, though, is that so many people agreed… there were signatures in that other scroll — knights, citizens, the like; Skaer'morys the Silver, Knight Jumper, Lady Iximaz...” he sighed and massaged his brows. “Nevermind that; it’s just my inner conspiracy theorist. Let’s see what we can do about this.”
Karrin peered at the missive and walked over to one of the shelves, pulling out a map and setting it on top of the table. “Hmm... The law only requires that you have lands and a castle, correct?”
“And council participation, but yes, that’s about it.” The monk peered at the map. “Honestly, there’s no place I’d like more than this one.” He looked up, toward the high ceiling of the central hall of Castle Spectacle. “This place has been a home to me for a long time. The valley, while small, is fertile. There are deer in the woods; there’s that little stream...”
“Well, it’s certainly a better idea than leaving. We’ve just gotten the libraries in order, too,” noted Karrin with a smile.
Death Dendle left his corner to take a look at the map. “Look at this town,” he said, pointing to a town, situated on the coast, so small that the map didn’t even have its name. “It’s pretty close, and you need a port. It could use some hustle and bustle and maybe some help. As things are, they are vulnerable to being raided by the Marizu, and the closest place they could get help from is Risersh, which is quite a distance away.”
Karrin the Blue examined the map. “Skypcht? It’s rather small, so you wouldn’t have to worry about too much bureaucracy. The shipping industry there’s not large, but it’s fairly resilient... I’m still surprised at how quickly they rebuilt after those storms two autumns ago.”
“They are good people,” the Fast Seneschal, silent until now, said. “I remember setting a forge up there after the storms hit. They are a diligent people; they started rebuilding right away.”
“My sort of people, then,” Thanasius decided. “I shall send the Council a reply.”
He picked a quill and a (mostly) empty scroll out of the general mess that covered the table. He started writing on it, muttering under his breath. “To the Council, yada yada, honorifics, blah blah, the Baron Thanasius requests the lands at the southernmost tip of Ozerbord, those surrounding the vale of the Monastery of Spectacle, and the nearby town of Skypcht, as territory. Yada yada, officialiasms, signed, Thanasius Ampelius, Baron.” The monk paused and showed the scroll to the others. “What do you think?”
Karrin nodded. “It certainly looks official.” She smiled slightly. “Hm... As the Seneschal and myself live here, should we swear allegiance or somesuch?”
“That would probably help later down the road,” Thanasius said. “Plus, I’d need someone to tell me when I’m doing stupid things, no? You two helped me a lot, and I’d hate to be forced to evict you because of some stupid bureaucratic rule.”
“Well, I’d hate to be evicted, so that works.” Karrin picked out another scroll and began to write. “Hm-de-hm, officially swear fealty and allegiance to the Baron Thanasius, blah-blah will pay taxes and reside in territories, signed Karrin the Blue, Mage.” She blew on the ink carefully.
The Seneschal took the scroll Death Dendle was trying to hit his head with and quickly scribbled something on it, spreading sand on it to dry the ink. Thanasius took a look above his shoulder and hmmed.
“That’ll do. I hope the vultures at the Council won’t eat us alive for the slightly informal phrasing.” The monk rolled the scrolls up and looked at his Kagemusha. “You’ll be the messenger.”
“I hear and obey.”
