Subject: Pancakes! Chapter (5)3 - Hobbits: Remastered
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Posted on: 2020-02-26 16:08:53 UTC

S.M.F.: Do you know, I think in fifty whole chapters of this thing, I never once used the word 'splatdiferous'?

Which is a terrible oversight on my part, frankly.

~~~~~

"Pancakes!"

The wail echoed through the forest, and Samwise Gamgee looked up instantly from the small yellow flower he had been examining (not the most thrilling leisure activity, even for a gardener, but it was that or join Merry and Pippin in their efforts to eat their way through Lothlorien's entire storehouse). "That's Mister Frodo," he said, his brow furrowing.

Pippin swallowed a mouthful of bread and tucked the rest into his sleeve for later. "It sounds like he's found something," the Hobbit said, peering through the trees. "What do you think it could be?"

"I'd say that's obvious, Pip," Merry observed, examining a mushroom before dropping it into his pack. "There's only so many things that would make someone yell 'pancakes'."

Pippin frowned, thinking deeply. "He's found a kitchen?"

(Somewhere deep underneath Moria, Gandalf the Grey's head jerked back. "Fool of a Took," he muttered, before striking out at the Balrog once again.)

"Pancakes!" The cry was closer now, and accompanied by a rustling and cracking of branches. Merry hopped down from his rock, and Pippin got to his feet, both of them taking their places next to Sam. Sam pulled his frying pan from his back; it was ridiculous to think there could be any danger in the Golden Wood, but there had been desperate panic in Frodo's voice...

The Ringbearer burst into the clearing, his face dripping with syrup, the soggy remains of a pancake in his hands. "Pan-!" he began, and then his foot caught on what seemed to be a tuft of grass, and he tumbled head over heels to land on his back in front of his friends. "-cakes!" he groaned, holding the mess up with a plaintive, impossibly-wide-eyed look.

"Thanks!" said Pippin, taking it from Frodo's hands. "Don't mind if I-"

SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!

Legolas perched on a tree branch, his stack of pancakes in one hand, his expression troubled. Pippin, it seemed, was going to be a problem. While the other three Hobbits were just as disgusted by the attack as he could have hoped, the youngest had already eaten his way through the one that had hit him. His clear voice rose easily to the Elf's perch: "If you're not eating those, I'll be happy to take them off your hands."

Yes, Legolas mused, the Hobbits could definitely disrupt his plans (particularly if the others developed a taste for fried cakes). There was nothing for it: he was going to have to move directly to the endgame. Balancing his burden of pasty evil carefully, the Prince of Mirkwood got to his feet and headed off into the forest.

~~~~~

Frying pans, abnormally huge eyes, and Pippin eating everything in sight - oh yes, the Spirit of 2003 is strong today.

hS

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