Subject: Pancakes! Chapter (5)6 - Glade of Battle: Remastered
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Posted on: 2020-02-29 16:21:25 UTC

Hilariously/adorably, at least two people have found Pancakes! through this remastering and faithfully reviewed the original chapters 1-7. I don't think they ever saw my review replies...

~~~

Legolas was suspicious. It was almost too easy: in all the mayhem that had followed his attack on Galadriel, everyone seemed to have forgotten about Celeborn. The Elf Lord had ambled out to one of the nearby mallorn-trees and now stood by its silver trunk. To most people, he probably looked deep in thought - but even from across the clearing, Legolas could hear the low rasp of his snores.

It was too good an opportunity to miss, but there was no point taking too many risks. Legolas set his stack of pancakes down, picked up one in each hand. A double shot ought to do it... he launched out from among the bushes and flung the pancakes in a textbook-perfect attack (The Art of Dessert War, by Boffo Baggins esq., available from all good bookstores).

Out of nowhere, or rather out of the tree, Frodo and Sam dropped into position in front of Celeborn. Each had one of Sam's frying pans firmly in their grip, and with a solid splat they caught both pancakes a hair's breadth from Celeborn's face. Legolas gaped as the two Hobbits followed through, flinging the pancakes straight back at him.

They almost got him - not through any particular skill on their part (Great-Great Uncle Boffo's book had never really grabbed Frodo's attention), but because Legolas couldn't help but fold his arms and shout out that Celeborn had been, "A diversion!" But at the last instant the Elf dived aside, and the sticky missiles slatted onto the tree behind him.

The rest of the Fellowship were charging towards the battle now, but Legolas was faster. He rolled, scooped up three pancakes, and launched a triple volley right towards--

SPLAT-SPLAT-SPLAT!

"Mr. Frodo! Noooooooooo!"

Sam grabbed Frodo and attempted to drag him from the field as the rest of the Fellowship arrived at last. Pippin, acting as combination medic-gourmand, ran over to help him, and scraped the sticky mess from the Ringbearer's face. What he did with it is probably not worth saying.

Frodo sat up with a groan, then gasped as he looked out over the glade. In the few moments it had taken to rescue him, Aragorn, Boromir, and Merry had all fallen in their defence of Celeborn. Only Gimli still stood, batter staining his armour and the broad head of his axe; and as the survivors watched, he stumbled, and Legolas launched a final, ruthlessly accurate shot.

ZZZZAP!

"Well that's not the right sound effect," Legolas protested, shielding his eyes from the brilliant white light that filled the clearing. As it faded, it revealed Galadriel standing beside Gimli, a star seeming to blaze on her pale hand.

"Well done, most valiant of elf-friends," she said, nodding respectfully to Gimli. "Tend now to your companions; I fear this is a battle only I can win."

~~~

I think this may be the chapter I've changed the least. Apart from the obligatory and anachronistic Diversion joke.

hS

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